Hapas with Hapas [Archive] - Yellowworld Forums

YuheiCarreau

11-03-2002, 06:13 PM

Hey everyone,

I'm new here but I have plenty of questions to ask. I am a Hapa (Japanese-White), and until recently the only Hapas I've been around were my sisters. I still don't know too many Hapas; almost all my friends in college are Asian. I guess my questions are A) Do you (other Hapas) hang out with Hapas a lot? and B) Have you ever found yourself attracted to another Hapa or had a relationship with a Hapa?

I guess I already gave my answer to question A; question B is something I never thought about until I saw this girl in the other Japanese section who I think is a Hapa (not sure, haven't gotten the chance to speak to her yet) who is very cute. I really hate it when people say "biracial babies are the cutest!" - IMO most people think mixed is cute 'til you get older, then they want you to choose one race and stick to it - so I'm reticent to say I'm attracted to another Hapa just 'cause we're inherently beautiful or something; however, it would be pretty cool to go out with (or just be friends with) someone who had a 1st-person perspective on what it means to be a Hapa. Do you guys feel the same way?

digiaks

11-04-2002, 01:17 AM

I know and hang out with a few hapas. Most of my friends tend to be Asian, and I am attracted to hapas as much as I am to Asian girls. The specific Asian race is not that big of a deal with me. As long as she has some brains and I think she is cute.

maldito

11-04-2002, 05:04 AM

Originally posted by YuheiCarreau@Nov 4 2002, 02:13 AM
A) Do you (other Hapas) hang out with Hapas a lot?
One of my best friend is Chinese & Nicaraguan, but I didn't choose him b/c of his mix. I come from a family of mixed people anyway, grew up with those types of people, so to be if I have friends that are hapa, it's only b/c I chose friends who just so happened to be hapa.

B) Have you ever found yourself attracted to another Hapa or had a relationship with a Hapa?

Yes. But then again I find beauty in all kinds of people. I know I seem to connect better with those who obviously share the same cultural traits as myself.

YuheiCarreau

11-04-2002, 07:48 AM

Yeah, I didn't mean to ask are you choosing people to go out with / hang out with solely because they're Hapas, basically what I meant is does it add something to your relationship that you don't have with a non-Hapa.

IMO Hapas are usually 'swallowed up' by one culture and do not identify with their other culture, only a few of us identify as a unique group with unique experiences to share with one another.

thaite

11-04-2002, 09:03 AM

I do have a few friends who are hapa, and I do try to make an effort to get to know people whom I find out are mixed ethnicity -- and not just Asian either. I find them uniquely interesting.

When dating I don't put much weight on a racial preference, though I can tell that in the back of mind I do think that'd be fun and interesting to date another hapa. There's that commonality of shared experiences that makes it so cool -- it's difficult to make other people understand.

Quapas -- how cool would that be?

BeTheReds

11-05-2002, 07:57 PM

I don't get along with other mixed people most of the time because they continually try to out asian me.

Ive dated two blasians before tho we seriously had not that much in common as far as being able to draw on being mixed except for some crap wed get from the asian peeps.

YuheiCarreau

11-05-2002, 11:58 PM

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Nov 5 2002, 09:57 PM
I don't get along with other mixed people most of the time because they continually try to out asian me.

Ive dated two blasians before tho we seriously had not that much in common as far as being able to draw on being mixed except for some crap wed get from the asian peeps.
I haven't been around too many mixed Asians so I've never had one try to 'out-Asian' me, but I've definitely had that happen to me with 100% Asians - usually those who are the 'token Asian' and hang out with mostly White people, Asians who hang with Asians don't really have a problem with me.

There's a pretty good article on the 'out-Asianing' thing at iistix.com:
http://www.iistix.com/_stixandstones/livin...withtheeye.html (http://www.iistix.com/_stixandstones/livingwiththeeye.html)

I grew up in Westchester, NY, and I went to a prep school, so for me that article really rings a bell.

kimpossible

11-06-2002, 07:22 AM

Originally posted by YuheiCarreau@Nov 3 2002, 06:13 PM
A) Do you (other Hapas) hang out with Hapas a lot? and B) Have you ever found yourself attracted to another Hapa or had a relationship with a Hapa?

Regarding A: The only other mixed Asians I usually see are either my relatives or my friend's children. My friends run the gamut, many are European (i.e. not American) of a variety of ethnicities, some are white American. But to be honest, I don't really 'hang' these days. The majority of the time I'm around older Taiwanese of the 40-80 year old range.

Regarding B: Sure. I've dated eurasian guys before. They're attractive but no more attractive than any other type of guy. I've seen plenty I wouldn't give a second thought to.

YuheiCarreau

11-06-2002, 09:45 AM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 6 2002, 09:22 AM
Regarding B: Sure. I've dated eurasian guys before. They're attractive but no more attractive than any other type of guy. I've seen plenty I wouldn't give a second thought to.
Yeah, I guess I didn't make this clear in my first post ('cause I was talking about how the girl-who-might-be-a-Hapa is hot) but I was talking about an emotional attraction, not a physical one. As in, does a relationship with another Hapa work better in some ways because of the shared barkground.

digiaks

11-06-2002, 02:44 PM

they would need to be more then just half like you. if you were chinese/white then they would need to be chinese/white also to really have an understanding. Cultures of different Asian countries can be dramatically different and it kinda sucks sometimes how all of Asia is lumped into one category.

blkazngirl

11-11-2002, 06:59 PM

Because the only Asian feature I have from my dad are his eyes. Most of my friends tend to be Black. The Chinese friends I do have are only because they know my history.

Hiroshi2

11-11-2002, 07:12 PM

Originally posted by blkazngirl@Nov 11 2002, 06:59 PM
Because the only Asian feature I have from my dad are his eyes.  Most of my friends tend to be Black. The Chinese friends I do have are only because they know my history.
Same here about the eyes. And yeah I admit most of my friends are black. I grew up in a somewhat low-class black neighborhood during my childhood. Where I live now is black, but middle-class and suburban.

I know one other blasian in hawaii, a family friend. I've actually never met them personally, so i guess technically I don't know them......

I've got a couple of eurasian friends, and no asian friends. Probably about half of my friends are white, though.

I have to admit dating another hapa (especially one who is black/asian) would feel like I'm dating my sister (eew).

Dating a eurasian would still feel a little weird, but that would be really great to have someone who could really relate to my experiences like that. I've thought that maybe someone was mixed black/white could relate, but only to the experience of growing up biracial, not half-asian. It's completely different, see what I'm saying?

kimpossible

11-11-2002, 08:19 PM

Originally posted by YuheiCarreau@Nov 4 2002, 07:48 AM
Yeah, I didn't mean to ask are you choosing people to go out with / hang out with solely because they're Hapas, basically what I meant is does it add something to your relationship that you don't have with a non-Hapa.

IMO Hapas are usually 'swallowed up' by one culture and do not identify with their other culture, only a few of us identify as a unique group with unique experiences to share with one another.
In that case, I had thought previously that I would have ended up with another mixed race something+Asian. But I ended up with a fob/overseas Chinese.

We've been together so long that I don't remember what it's like to date anyone else. So I don't know if I feel like I'm missing anything. My guess is no since I'm pretty happy.

coagulated fat

07-31-2003, 12:21 AM

Digging for old threads is geeky fun.

I don't have any hapas in my immediate circle of friends, but my hapa acquaintainces seem especially nice and friendly to me.  Probably I am more friendly also.  At the same time, I recognize with some sadness that we don't have a lot in common aside from being biracial, but there is still a kind of understanding there. 

For the dating thing, I often find myself attracted to hapas without knowing they are hapa.  I have a horrible hapa-dar.  I tend to meet hapa guys without realizing they are hapa (well I guess if I really cared I would be able to figure it out, but it's not one of the things I think about right off), find them attractive, and then someone else has to tell me "you're both hapa!" or something.  This has happened so many times that I think there might be some kind of subconscious understanding or what not.  Have any of you experienced this kind of "whoa he/she is hapa?" thing?

yoMAMA

07-31-2003, 11:00 AM

There's this really HOT hapa girl in my school.

Man is she cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:luv:  :luv:  :luv:

SunWuKong

07-31-2003, 11:34 AM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (coagulated fat @ Jul 31 2003, 03:21 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Probably I am more friendly also. [/b][/quote]
i like friendly hapa girls.

YuheiCarreau

07-31-2003, 12:04 PM

Wow, I think this was my first ever thread on the Hapa forum...

I love hapa girls. Of course, for me, it's a beautiful part of my search for identity, something deeply personal and fulfilling... Not some perverse fetish like it is with SWK :P

I have about 90% success rate in spotting Hapas. 100% with the Japanese-White ones. I make friends with some, but a lot of the ones I've met recently are either just not compatible with my personality or uncomfortably Whitewashed.

If anyone cares, the hot hapa girl from my Japanese class went to the Chinese New Year's festival with me... But nothing else happened after that :( . Ah well, that's college life!

SunWuKong

07-31-2003, 12:10 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (YuheiCarreau @ Jul 31 2003, 03:04 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I love hapa girls. Of course, for me, it's a beautiful part of my search for identity, something deeply personal and fulfilling... Not some perverse fetish like it is with SWK :P [/b][/quote]
ssshhhhh... you're going to ruin my hunt...

just kidding!   :D

but not really.

regarding hapa-dar:  i don't think i have any.  maybe i'm not supposed to have any, because i'm not mixed.  i tend to mistake them for just white, if i see them in the US.  but they stick out more when i see them in Asia.

AliBabaIncorporated

07-31-2003, 12:21 PM

My hapadar works fine. It's just I barely ever meet any. There was a curious shortage of them at my uni. And the ones I did meet were almost all whitewashed. The one chance I had for a relationship with one, I ran like hell. When I went to HK, of course, I met lots of rich, slutty international school girls. Unfortunately they were all 16 years old. All the ones of legal, uh, university age flee abroad. I should have gone during the summer holiday.

Actually in my math class at my uni in HK, there was a guy with a British grandmother. Very old-school proper British lady. But he was pretty Chinese-washed. Complete with loudness, bad mobile phone manners, etc., which his grandma was always yelling at him about. And we, even other HK people, always made fun of him for his crappy English.

SunWuKong

07-31-2003, 12:27 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (AliBabaIncorporated @ Jul 31 2003, 03:21 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> When I went to HK, of course, I met lots of rich, slutty international school girls. Unfortunately they were all 16 years old. [/b][/quote]
you must tell me where you meet these girls.  now.

work and lan kwai fong were the only places i met non-locals, and they certainly weren't 16-year old girls. (or non-localised, at least - since people can be born and raised in HK but be in the expat/overseas Chinese circles).

DragonKnight

07-31-2003, 09:09 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SunWuKung @ Jul 31 2003, 11:34 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> i like friendly hapa girls. [/b][/quote]
Hehe, werd. 

I know this one hapa girl from way back in my HS days.  A real fione ass girl, half-white, half-Filipino.  Really nice.  We kicked it together hella times back in those days.  Went our seperate ways about 7 or 8 yrs ago.  We finally found each other again along with another friend.  Hehe, she's still fione after all these years.  Hmm...and still single.  Tempting. B)

coagulated fat

08-01-2003, 12:14 AM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (professor frink @ Jul 31 2003, 10:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> i hate friendly hapa girls...oh wait i hate all hapa girls.

love,
prof. frink [/b][/quote]
Me too.  I don't need that competition.  (dirty glance at Prof. Frink)
Frink I can't believe you don't like my new avatar.  You cut me deep girl.

Deadpool

08-01-2003, 12:18 AM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (yoMAMA @ Jul 31 2003, 10:00 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> There's this really HOT hapa girl in my school.

Man is she cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:luv: :luv: :luv: [/b][/quote]
Sorry.
SHes a lesbian.

SunWuKong

08-01-2003, 12:03 PM

hapa girl cat fight!
we need more to join in.  HH, rice cracker, feel free to join in...

*grabs popcorn*

Tao

08-01-2003, 12:35 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SunWuKung @ Aug 1 2003, 03:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> hapa girl cat fight!
we need more to join in. HH, rice cracker, feel free to join in...

*grabs popcorn* [/b][/quote]
that'd be sweet.  :lol:

Eros

08-01-2003, 02:46 PM

ricecracker is really the only hapa friend in my circle.  Of course, I think I'm the only from her circle. 

As for dating, I've never done it but it might be nice.  As someone else said, it's more of the biracial thing than a hapa thing, but at least a few fragments that the asian sides might share would be nice.  Plus, at least with a hapa there is a better chance that they might be somewhat more cultures in a culinary sense.  Where I'm from, it's almost embarrassing what food is considered "ethnic."  I'm still not over the weird look some of my white friends gave me when I asked them if they had any soy sauce (I wrongly assumed that had bleed into the american fridge much like salsa has).

Of course, once I hooked up with a hapa and didn't really find any attraction in the fact that he was a hapa.

AliBabaIncorporated

08-01-2003, 04:22 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SunWuKung @ Jul 31 2003, 12:27 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> you must tell me where you meet these girls. now.

work and lan kwai fong were the only places i met non-locals, and they certainly weren't 16-year old girls. (or non-localised, at least - since people can be born and raised in HK but be in the expat/overseas Chinese circles). [/b][/quote]
Just walk around Kowloon Tong station or that mall next to City U after school lets out. They'll be swarming all over the place, you can't possibly miss them. Just don't get arrested. Dunno where the i-school kids on the island hang out though ...

TheHapacalypse

08-07-2003, 11:22 AM

A ) Do you (other Hapas) hang out with Hapas a lot? and B ) Have you ever found yourself attracted to another Hapa or had a relationship with a Hapa?

A ) Seems like that's all I'm hanging with these days . . . which is just fine by me.
B ) I "only" date hapas (but, in life, there are always exceptions). I say this not to be exclusive or because of any prejudices, it's just that I love when certain things can go "unsaid" while, at the same time, things that are said, are completely understood.

Hapas don't "push me around" ethnically or culturally. They don't force me to "choose" and they usually don't make "ignorant" comments or ask "naive" questions. What a relief. Hence, my preferences.

SunWuKong

08-07-2003, 02:51 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (TheHapacalypse @ Aug 7 2003, 02:22 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> B ) I "only" date hapas[/b][/quote]
you must know a lot of hapa girls... welcome to YW, my very very good friend...

AkiraKodi

08-27-2003, 10:57 PM

A. Yes, and I try to make new hapa friends.
B. Yes, I tend to have "instant" connections with hapa girls, although they are hard to find.

eurasian girlie

06-15-2004, 10:50 AM

gah.. i dun have many hapa frenz but if there were more i think id make an effort to get to kno them, purely because of me hoping tht they too might have gone through similar experiences nd coz i find it easier to relate to them more... other than tht im not bothered by wut race ma frenz are, i love them for who they are nd not their race!

asvenus

06-27-2004, 10:52 AM

if by 'hapa' you mean in the broad sense i would say the majority of my friends are in some shape or form, usually Chinese and White mixes/Indian and White mixes...this is probably down to where i went to university and things like that...predominantly White/ish area.

the attraction thing...i find hapas in all shapes and sizes extremely attractive, in fact if i could find more of em they would probably be all i would date!! (this includes Asian mixed with Black or White or other Asian!!).

would you class me (Black and Indian) going out with someone who is Filipino and White as two 'hapas' going out together though...?? i mean these terms sound all nice and inclusive but are they really...the same prejudices that so-called 'one race' people face and hold are also played out in the 'hapa' experience.

Hiroshi2

06-27-2004, 12:38 PM

Well I guess so..................at the very least, two biracial people going out with each other.

Just like if I (black and Asian) went out with girls who were half-black and half-white (which I've done before).

Ron

06-27-2004, 04:16 PM

I have hapa friends in Hawaii but that wasn't really me trying to befriend fellow hapas, it just was because we were interested in the same stuff.

Outside of Hawaii, I've dated mixed girls but not really hapa girls.

asvenus

06-28-2004, 03:58 AM

how sad of you! i have the best hapa-dar. i can spot them in a instant - snap! i probably get them right about 90% of the time - i can even tell some quarter-hapas sometimes too, but that gets arbitrary. anyhow, in the end, i learned: who the really cares? my mom and my sister got really annoyed after i pointed out who was hapa all the fuckin time on t.v. and in life.

love,
* * prof. frink :luv:

lol i can totally identify with this!! i used to drive people mad also with my 'infallible hapa-dar'...id be like 'but look at the subtle slant of his eyes or look at the subtle silky texture of her hair...YES I KNOW ITS SUBTLE BUT IT IS THERE!!'..heehee..i think its a mixture of pride and fascination and excitement for some unknown reason when you see someone of a similar mix to you!! :biggrin: