Let's do this

[kimpossible]

Apologies ahead of time to people who don't fit this category but I want to directly explore one stereotype. It's no secret that Asian female and White male relationships are hotly contested. Many of us hail from households like this. Let's break it down. What's life like in a household like this? How do you feel when you hear this type of sentiment?

[AliBabaIncorporated]

my mom pretty much fits the stereotype. whitewashed, barely speaks any Asian language (bad Malay, bad Tagalog, ZERO Chinese), talks shit about Asian people all the time, gave me lectures about the advantages of looking white and having a Western surname when I was a kid, kept emphasizing I was "Special" because of my heritage without actually teaching me about it, etc.

my dad? nah, not really. all the stupid comments he might make about Asian culture which make him sound Asiaphilic are based on some 30-year old bullshit my mom must have told him when they were dating.

oh yeah, and they met cuz he was her TA in a math class and she was worried about failing.

[BeTheReds]

I'd have to say your mom doesn't fit the stereotype. The stereotype is this submissive asian woman who speaks little or no english married to a military guy.

The circumstances by which they met seem kinda strange too.

Also, I can't remember having any of my math and science TAs that were white.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Oct 29 2002, 10:14 PM
I'd have to say your mom doesn't fit the stereotype. The stereotype is this submissive asian woman who speaks little or no english married to a military guy.

The larger stereotype is ANY Asian woman with ANY white guy. The super stereotype of AF/WM is what you wrote. There are Asian men on this site and many other AA sites that condemn this in any form. The idea being that any Asian woman who is in a romance with a white guy is a sell out slut. These Asian guys confuse Asian pride with screwing Asian women.

Trust me when I say that the hate is aimed at Asian females/White male pairs in general. Military or not. Submissive or not.

[BeTheReds]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 30 2002, 06:21 AM

Trust me when I say that the hate is aimed at Asian females/White male pairs in general. Military or not. Submissive or not.
Oh, I see.

The hate is also aimed at half korean guys who look so white that you wouldn't know they were korean just by looking at them and any asian girl who hangs out with these types :)


Tho, no one has ever called my dad a sellout so I can certainly see what you are talking about.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Oct 30 2002, 06:14 AM
I'd have to say your mom doesn't fit the stereotype. The stereotype is this submissive asian woman who speaks little or no english married to a military guy.

The circumstances by which they met seem kinda strange too.

Also, I can't remember having any of my math and science TAs that were white.
the more general stereotype I'm familiar with is that the Asian girls who go for white guys are the self-hating ones who detest everything Asian. I think the military stereotype kinda died, at least in California.

[himura-dono]

i've only dated one asian chick that was self hating. i had to toss her before it got serious, she was always baggin on koreans x_X about 1/3 of my friends in high school were korean so i had to get rid of her.

all the other af's i've been with or friends with, haven't been self hating, so i dunno wtf ur talking about man :confused:

i was going to post a similar topic cause i've been noticing a lot of hate on the asian girl white guy pairs. i fit in that pair, so i was kinda feelin like i was being hated on. stuff like, the dude must be an asiaphile, or she's a whitie wannabee, etc. kinda fux0red if you ask me.

i dunno why the guys are hating,but i've seen plenty of am wf pairs at davis, but admit there's 10 times as many af wm pairs.

just let people be with who they want to be with. yeesh. it doesn't make them a self hater or an asiaphile if the person is non asian, it just means these people clicked for one reason or another.

i have yet to see an asian chick get pissed over seeing an asian guy with a white girl. only the asian guys seeing a white guy with an asian girl.

why is this?
:pissed:

[kimpossible]

To be fair and insert a counterpoint here, let's not ignore two basic things: 1) There are far more in number and history of AF/WM couples 2) Asiaphiles exist.

I don't want to claim that there isn't any relevant issue between the American media portrayal of desexualized Asian males and sexualized Asian females, all I want to do is unpack the topic a bit so that people can see a different point of view. A lot of us are children of AF/WM parents. As mixed race people, we get crap from racial purists on both sides. Racism doesn't feel any better coming from Asians than it does whites.

There are real, relevant social and media issues at work that we can't ignore. However, we have the opportunity here to provide a point of view from the inside, a point of view not many people get to hear.

[himura-dono]

oh, i've gotten it from both sides, but to be bi-racial or multi-ethnic probably makes it sting a lot worse since there's the kin/blood thing going on.

i've been bashed for dating non-whites, and i've been bashed when i've dated whites (confusing, i know. my high school is heavily white and hispanic, if i date white, i'm bein a "typical whitie too good for minorities" to quote an asshole, and when i date someone who isn't white, "you've had more nonwhite gf's then you've had white ones, what's up with that?")

too many stoopid people/people's and parents/relatives

i know what you meant HH, just i got off on a tangeant.

[himura-dono]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 06:27 PM

i have yet to see an asian chick get pissed over seeing an asian guy with a white girl. only the asian guys seeing a white guy with an asian girl.

why is this?
:pissed:
i still want someone to answer this question. :confused:

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 02:25 PM
Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 06:27 PM

i have yet to see an asian chick get pissed over seeing an asian guy with a white girl. only the asian guys seeing a white guy with an asian girl.

why is this?
:pissed:
i still want someone to answer this question. :confused:
I have from the Asian women friends around me when I date outside the race.

I got shit as early as way in high school. Got shit from Asian women I knew in my school for taking a half japanese/half white (fuck I don't even know what term to use anymore for the sake of not offending people here) girl to my high school senior prom back in the day.

As for the reason why? Prolly the same reason why Asian guys get mad. Beats me an Asian female can better answer the question. I normally don't care enough to ask why, just pay them no attention and tell them to stop being bitter.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 11:25 AM
Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 06:27 PM

i have yet to see an asian chick get pissed over seeing an asian guy with a white girl.  only the asian guys seeing a white guy with an asian girl.

why is this?
:pissed:
i still want someone to answer this question. :confused:
I've had one hater Asian woman tell me that I shouldn't have a Chinese husband. She was a bitch overall, true, but you wanted to hear of instances of pissed off Asian women disapproving of AM/WF. Yeah, I'm part Asian but for people like that they consider me white.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 02:25 PM
Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 06:27 PM

i have yet to see an asian chick get pissed over seeing an asian guy with a white girl.  only the asian guys seeing a white guy with an asian girl.

why is this?
:pissed:
i still want someone to answer this question. :confused:
i think you answered it yourself. it's because there are way more wm/af relationships than am/wf relationships.

[thaite]

I think the submissive Asian woman is the biggest misconceptions of all time. Any white guy who buys into that and marries an Asian woman soon learns who's boss. Karmic justice, yo.

My mom was tough.

[Chrysalis]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 11:25 AM
Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 06:27 PM

i have yet to see an asian chick get pissed over seeing an asian guy with a white girl.  only the asian guys seeing a white guy with an asian girl.

why is this?
:pissed:
i still want someone to answer this question. :confused:


Do some asian girls do this? Damn I must have been living under a rock not to notice this lol. Seriously I love seeing couples of any race (mixed or not) hanging out and happy in each others company.
I do understand that some asian males regard af/wm relationships as either a sellout on the af part or that the wm is an asiaphile. It's like they think the af regards herself as above am so only goes for wm.
I'm 1/2 of a af/wm relationship and I have never knowingly (subconsious/conscious) gone for only white guys. I've liked them all (hmmm...).
Life's to short to have these kinda gripes anyway. Just let everyone live their own lives and concentrate on living their own.
Sidenote - I have found that half white half asian guys to be hot (looks wise - only).

Chrysalis
:rolleyes:

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Oct 30 2002, 11:23 AM
oh, i've gotten it from both sides, but to be bi-racial or multi-ethnic probably makes it sting a lot worse since there's the kin/blood thing going on.

i've been bashed for dating non-whites, and i've been bashed when i've dated whites (confusing, i know. my high school is heavily white and hispanic, if i date white, i'm bein a "typical whitie too good for minorities" to quote an asshole, and when i date someone who isn't white, "you've had more nonwhite gf's then you've had white ones, what's up with that?")

too many stoopid people/people's and parents/relatives

i know what you meant HH, just i got off on a tangeant.
Maybe, but this is a separate issue from being eurasian and dealing with whites and Asians. It's not simply a case of an extra sting. Don't equate dating an Asian person to understanding what it's like to be Asian or mixed Asian.

Not even my father can claim that of me and we share the same blood.

[BeTheReds]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 6 2002, 02:18 AM
Don't equate dating an Asian person to understanding what it's like to be Asian or mixed Asian.

Not even my father can claim that of me and we share the same blood.
I totally agree.

There was one white dude in my college who continually argued that he knew what it was like to be asian because he was dating a Japanese woman.

[YuheiCarreau]

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Nov 5 2002, 09:33 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 6 2002, 02:18 AM
Don't equate dating an Asian person to understanding what it's like to be Asian or mixed Asian.

Not even my father can claim that of me and we share the same blood.
I totally agree.

There was one white dude in my college who continually argued that he knew what it was like to be asian because he was dating a Japanese woman.
People like that are so stupid. My parents have been married for 25 years (I think... It's somewhere around there) and while each has a great deal of... hmmm, empathy and appreciation I guess... for the other's culture (white/American and Japanese) neither one claims to actually be of the other's culture. Even though that dude is going out with a Japanese woman, he's A) Still White and B) Still a man. You can empathize with your spouse, you can see things from their POV, but 99% of the people you will meet don't know anything about your relationship and will treat you as they see you - not as they would see your spouse.