You find your s.o.'s been hiding porn.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Say one day you take a dump, and you happen to find some porn magazine in one of the drawers of his or her -not trying to be heterosexist here- apartment or the place where both of you live. Scenario 2: You find his/her porn tapes hidden in the closet or some discrete place like that. If you don't care, how come? If you do care, how would you confront your s.o.? Do you think it's okay for your significant other to watch porn? What's your take on the matter? :rolleyes:



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Oct 22 2002, 01:17 PM-->

[angel nympho]

I don't care. I know guys like porn. I won't stop a guy from looking at his porn. Unless it's weird porn. Like... animal porn, or kiddie porn, or some twisted fetish porn. Then I'd be worried.

Hell, I'll watch porn with him. :rolleyes:

[SunWuKong]

if i discover that my significant other possesses materials of pornographic nature, i would probably get horny.



<!--EDIT|SunWuKung|Oct 22 2002, 02:29 PM-->

[artsfartsyjanet]

Why is it that I knew both of you would answer my questions in such a fashion? :lol: Ok, anyone else wanna take a stab at my questions?

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Oct 22 2002, 02:30 PM
Why is it that I knew both of you would answer my questions in such a fashion? :lol: Ok, anyone else wanna take a stab at my questions?
hahah seriously, i'd probably walk around the rest of the day with a big huge smile on my face. :D

[tapestrybabe]

i wouldnt make a big issue of his porn collection... and in the same respect... i would hope he wouldnt make a big issue about mine...

[kimpossible]

I give Mr. HH porn. So I'm thinking I would most likely sit down and watch it with him. But we're talking porn with adults in it. If it was kiddie or animals, his ass is grass. Animals - he needs some mental help. Kiddie - immediate divorce and turn him into the police.

[karizma]

>> id be mad because he was hiding it from me...sharing is freakin caring man. why's he holding out?! =(...

>> if i found any weird porn however...thats a whole different story...he'd soo get his nuts kicked if i found kiddie porn...

[princess]

Originally posted by karizma@Oct 22 2002, 10:52 PM
>> id be mad because he was hiding it from me...sharing is freakin caring man. why's he holding out?! =(...

>> if i found any weird porn however...thats a whole different story...he'd soo get his nuts kicked if i found kiddie porn...
gahh kiddie porn?! blech...sickos

i know that all of my past guys have looked at porn. most of my guy friends access it, too. something that im used to, nothing outta the ordinary, so i wouldnt be pissed. he can look if he pleases.

[Saiko]

Normal stuff, I don't give a shit. Twisted stuff, I'd be freaked, as twisted as I am.

[mrazntre]

Originally posted by karizma@Oct 22 2002, 10:52 PM
>> id be mad because he was hiding it from me...sharing is freakin caring man. why's he holding out?! =(...

>> if i found any weird porn however...thats a whole different story...he'd soo get his nuts kicked if i found kiddie porn...
HAHAHA Look who's talking!!!!

[not-a-twinkie?]

I wouldn't be all that upset. I'd probably confront him, just kuz it's stupid to try to hide things from me... but I agree w/ most of the other responses that have been posted so far....... It wouldn't be something that would upset me terribly unless it was nasty perverted stuff.....

I think lotsa guys like to view porn... and most girls are pretty open to it too...

[artsfartsyjanet]

I find all of your responses quite interesting.... Anyone disagree or find it repulsive that your s.o's been reading porn?



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Oct 23 2002, 10:09 PM-->

[Arex]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Oct 23 2002, 08:08 PM
I find all of your responses quite interesting.... Anyone disagree or find it repulsive that your s.o's been reading porn?
So, what's AFJ's take on this? Moderators are allowed to have an opinion too!

Alex

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Arex@Oct 24 2002, 04:52 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Oct 23 2002, 08:08 PM
I find all of your responses quite interesting.... &nbsp;Anyone disagree or find it repulsive that your s.o's been reading porn?
So, what's AFJ's take on this? Moderators are allowed to have an opinion too!

Alex
I want to be biased-free for NOW. Besides, I think a lot of you people know how I feel, but for those of you who don't know... you'll have to be patient. Goodness!

[mrazntre]

as long as it's normal hetero porn, it's all good.

[Hanuman]

Hell yeah! Pop in in and turn down the lights! Let watch em together!

[deepadishpizza]

Oh, I think watching porn together can really bring a couple closer, and remove some of the weird social stigma attached to it in our society. Hell, I have a subscription to Playboy myself. For the articles, of course. B)

[Chrysalis]

My partner and I have what we like to call the 'Goodies Drawer' and I actually enjoy watching it together. We regularly go to shops and browse and or buy stuff. Usually we each pick a few dvd's up and compare them and settle on which one we both like. Weird stuff like anime porn, kiddie porn or animal porn is just wrong.

[ChinaLama]

whats wrong w/ anime porn? it's 100% pregnancy & std-safe. so absolutely noooo guilt.

ok sure they all look like 10 yr olds w/ huge tits, but since they're NOT 10 yrs old and are merely pencil sketches or whatever, like i said.

NO guilt. :)

[teaz0r]

*bump*

um. i hope he's not hiding it. shit atleast he should know me pretty
well if he's my SO, cuz i've got a lesbian porn library.

however when i go to my SO's place, i do a quick scan of his computer,
just to see if he was hiding and freaky porn.

------
one of my best friends showed me animal porn. AHAHAA. a girl
was fucking an eel. it was sorta sad. the eel died. oh and a lot
of blood too. actually it was really disturbing. :gross:

:cry:
-----

yeah i don't like porn that has to do with animals, or chicks with dicks.
unless he was bi, i wouldn mind if he had gay porn, but if he told
me was straight and he had gayporn, i'd have a penis complex.

no snuff films, murder sex, blah blah blah. i dunno. you can tell
a lot about the guy from his porn.

[Commando_turned_MD]

Would not care..............
We would view them together.....
Porn is not a big deal.............

[AngryABCGirl]

I'm glad he didn't find my stash first. :dance:

[tapestrybabe]

i wonder if anyone would find it a little disrespectful feeling... if your s.o.. had constantly said in front of you... Wooo -- that girl is hot... if watching a particular porn flick... or even a regular tv show together or something...

dunno... i'm just curious in hearing the other side of the coin on this issue...

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by Arex@Oct 24 2002, 08:53 PM
So, what's AFJ's take on this? Moderators are allowed to have an opinion too!

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet @ Oct 24 2002@08:53 PM

I want to be biased-free for NOW. Besides, I think a lot of you people know how I feel, but for those of you who don't know... you'll have to be patient. Goodness!

me, i think i have been patient... and i actually dont think there should be anything inherently wrong with being slightly bothered by it... so like, i'm actually kinda curious about hearing your opinion...

[kayla]

Originally posted by pipSy@Mar 2 2003, 10:17 AM
------
one of my best friends showed me animal porn. AHAHAA. a girl
was fucking an eel. it was sorta sad. the eel died. oh and a lot
of blood too. actually it was really disturbing. :gross:


ewww..that is gross. what would make them want to fuck an eel anyways?! :gross:

but when i was a cashier for a summer job, this 50 y/o hispanic guy talked to me about fucking a chicken or saw someone fuck a chicken or something. ew..that's just TOO wrong.

[golden_buns]

call me weird but I don't really find much joy watching porn, I mean, what's the point of watching but not touching? It's kinda torturing.

[angelwiththesword]

pr0n is yet another way for people to entertain themselves.
if i found out my s.o. had porn, i wouldn't care much.
at the same time, if my s.o. found out i had porn, i wouldn't blame her for getting pissed at me either.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 2 2003, 07:43 PM
call me weird but I don't really find much joy watching porn, I mean, what's the point of watching but not touching? It's kinda torturing.
Because I can watch things I probably will never do yet still find it stimulating.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 2 2003, 10:43 PM
call me weird but I don't really find much joy watching porn, I mean, what's the point of watching but not touching? It's kinda torturing.
i have a highly powerful imagination

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 2 2003, 10:42 PM
i have a highly powerful imagination
Yes! I feel your power from here!

[Azn Retribution]

http://www.pointblankdev.com/retribution/albums/funny/bunny.jpg

[amietron]

Originally posted by pipSy@Mar 2 2003, 10:17 AM
you can tell a lot about the guy from his porn.
i wonder what kind nick has.

[amietron]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 2 2003, 07:43 PM
call me weird but I don't really find much joy watching porn, I mean, what's the point of watching but not touching? It's kinda torturing.
i dunno about the whole torturing bit because i've never extensively watched porn, but i'd agree that i'd rather take part than watch it on a tv or computer screen.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Originally posted by amietron@Mar 3 2003, 11:48 AM
i dunno about the whole torturing bit because i've never extensively watched porn, but i'd agree that i'd rather take part than watch it on a tv or computer screen.
Well of course Amie, that's a given.
None of us have ever extensively watched porn, ever :) ..................................... :unsure:

[teaz0r]

i wonder if bunnies die along with kittens everytime you masturbate.

[unordinary.girl]

I would be upset that he had to hide it from me and didn't just tell me straight out....

But heck, my bf and I watch porn together all the time LOL I aint gonna lie....hahaha (probably more than what you guys wanted to know)

But there has been some situations where he has watched porn alone by himself and tried to deny it and lie to me. That, really bothers me and makes me wonder why he has to hide it from me when it's not like I disapprove of porn anyways, I mean we watch that sh*t together.....

Geez..trying to understand guys... :huh:

[Azn Retribution]

Originally posted by pipSy@Mar 3 2003, 12:10 PM
i wonder if bunnies die along with kittens everytime you masturbate.
ooo haha u mean this http://www.pointblankdev.com/retribution/albums/funny/godkills.jpg

[unordinary.girl]

LOL, that thing as been all over the net but that little "warning" does not work, believe me, everyone that masturbates will continue to :rolleyes:

There must not be much love for the kittens :P

[Azn Retribution]

not much love?
they should be extinct by now.
and i kind of like the bunny pic better. its alot more out there

[Fireblade]

If my SO hid some porn from me, and I found out...
then I'd go up to her, and come clean and show her mine.
Literally. :P

Oh, and I heard puppies are killed too, everytime you wack off. :D

[amietron]

i don't think it matters very much whether he watches porn or not. does it? if it doesn't come up, it shouldn't matter.

[ellsworth81]

porn can inspire a couple in soooo many ways :wub:

[teaz0r]

that's not a bunny. that's a fucking rat.
ugh.

[unordinary.girl]

Originally posted by Azn Retribution@Mar 3 2003, 12:55 PM
not much love?
they should be extinct by now.
and i kind of like the bunny pic better. its alot more out there
soooo mean lol

[mr. x]

wow, girls have changed, i grew up thinking girls were disqusted by porn...

anyway, ive never heard of the other way around, where a guy finds his girl hiding it... i mean, what kinda porn would a girl have anyway, playgirl? guy on guy action?

[mr. x]

and i can totally see porn from an "educational" standpoint, but ive always wondered why in a normal healthy relationship, either should need anything other than their S.O. i mean why watch porn when you can have the real thing right?

[artsfartsyjanet]

good question. how would any of you answer mr. x's question?

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by mr. x@Mar 4 2003, 01:10 PM
and i can totally see porn from an "educational" standpoint, but ive always wondered why in a normal healthy relationship, either should need anything other than their S.O. i mean why watch porn when you can have the real thing right?
cuz sometimes it's used as a tool to uh, spice up your sex life.

like sex toys, gets some people off, watching porn together
gets other people off. or merely a man watching his girlifriend
watch porn and getting aroused ... vice versa, it's just another
sex aide that's all =)

[unordinary.girl]

yeah what pipsy said..

porn and all those sex toys and everything are not meant to replace the person your involved with. they are meant to help spice things up and increase the passion :P

[amietron]

does anybody think animal sex is kinda sorta erotic? like, stuff from the discovery channel?

[mr. x]

Originally posted by amietron@Mar 4 2003, 01:12 PM
does anybody think animal sex is kinda sorta erotic? like, stuff from the discovery channel?
uh...thats kinda like watching Michael Jackson doing it...

[mr. x]

oh, and janet, unless the pixel ratio of your avatar is off...you're kinda cute

but i can see you are that innocent... :frown:

[mr. x]

not that innocent i mean

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 4 2003, 02:11 PM
good question. how would any of you answer mr. x's question?
and how would YOU answer his question??

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by tapestrybabe@Mar 4 2003, 07:56 PM
and how would YOU answer his question??
Right now, I'd like to hear what a lot of you think. For now, I am refraining from answering my own question. *shrug* =) Be patient! =)

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 4 2003, 08:18 PM
Right now, I'd like to hear what a lot of you think. &nbsp;For now, I am refraining from answering my own question. *shrug* =) &nbsp;Be patient! =)
right... thats the SAME thing you said in october of LAST year...
but nevermind...

[mr. x]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 4 2003, 05:18 PM
Right now, I'd like to hear what a lot of you think. For now, I am refraining from answering my own question. *shrug* =) Be patient! =)
dont want the S.O. to know about your collection eh?

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 4 2003, 08:18 PM
Right now, I'd like to hear what a lot of you think. &nbsp;For now, I am refraining from answering my own question. *shrug* =) &nbsp;Be patient! =)
Are we part of some psych experiment or something for school? Cuz if we are, it's unethical without informed consent. I should report you to the A.P.A!

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 4 2003, 08:55 PM
Are we part of some psych experiment or something for school? Cuz if we are, it's unethical without informed consent. I should report you to the A.P.A!
hahah... I think CSB is catching onto something. lol. :lol: The experiment is to see how patient or not patient all of you can be without me revealing a peep. jk.

People, if I don't want to say it now, then I won't. Simple as that. sheesh. =)

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by tapestrybabe@Mar 4 2003, 08:20 PM
right... thats the SAME thing you said in october of LAST year...
but nevermind...
How'd you know ? jk. :o :)

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by mr. x@Mar 4 2003, 06:33 PM
oh, and janet, unless the pixel ratio of your avatar is off...you're kinda cute

but i can see you are that innocent... :frown:
aw thanks... i think?! :huh: :)

[mr. x]

i know this is a dumb question to ask, but adding to the original question, would it make a difference if said porno was "asian" porno or porno featuring women of different extractions? Such as blonde women, or hell even black women. Would you just look at it like just plain porno, or would the idea of his/her fantasizing about women of other colors bother you?

[Shuriken]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Oct 22 2002, 05:13 PM
Say one day you take a dump...
Thanks for the visual, Jan...

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by mr. x@Mar 5 2003, 01:07 PM
would the idea of his/her fantasizing about women of other colors bother you?
not at all.

as i hope that my porn of two men and one girl doesn't bother him either.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Shuriken@Mar 5 2003, 06:45 PM
Thanks for the visual, Jan...
no problem. dramatic, isn't it? lol

[artsfartsyjanet]

so my bf and i are on the subject of porn. he's fine with porn. He's very honest by telling me that he watches porn and finds no problem with it nor does he find strip clubs a problem. On the other hand, I oppose pornography. Although I feel like the minority with my views, I know there are people who support my views. It's just an irreconciliable difference my boyfriend and I have. Anyway, he has agreed to not go to a strip club or watch porn because he knows it makes me unhappy. He also knows that other people out there may think I'm controlling him (which doesn't make me feel any better). Personally, if my bf was hiding porn while we were dating, i'm not ashamed to say that I would be a "tad" bit angry. I told him that, and he seems to be respectful of my views. I thought scratching this issue on the surface might cause resentment, but in the end, i think it's brought us closer. :rolleyes:

[deez nuts]

**wipes a tear from eye**

[artsfartsyjanet]

hehe :D

[mr. x]

i hope u went all the way and made him SELL his porn, i mean telling him not to watch is like telling an alcoholic he can go to the bar but not touch

[artsfartsyjanet]

i never told him to do anything. I asked him if he would watch porn while we are dating, and he said no. Now, of course, actions are more powerful than a verbal contract. So, I'll just see how it goes. We're pretty open about a lot of topics, but I don't like to leave any room for skepticism unless he gives me a reason to speculate.

[himura-dono]

wow...marry that dude, janet.

[mr. x]

what i meant was, that yeah its BETTER to make him sell it, i mean the money could be better used for say, an engagement ring (see related topic, Wedding Rings). Just hope the rings not TOO expensive...

[deez nuts]

i dunno. would you believe that he's given up on porn and the titty bars totally? you would have to be with him 24/7 to check up on him and curb his libido **wink**wink**. And on the flipside having your girlfriend around you 24/7 might backfire. it might drive the lad crazy and drive him back to porn and back to the titty bar. maybe even more so than before all this started.

he's a man. men have certain degrees of propensity to see flesh. it's the way we are hardwired. don't try and change us!

whatever happened to unconditional love? if you love him you will accept his porn and titty bar habits. if he loves you he will try to keep it in check. it's called a compromise. if he's giving up his porn and titty bar habits, what are you giving up for him? you gotta give a little to take a little, ya know? give him a little something something to show that you appreciate his gesture. give the brother some motivation!

[artsfartsyjanet]

what are you giving up for him? you gotta give a little to take a little, ya know? give him a little something something to show that you appreciate his gesture. give the brother some motivation!

Hun, i give the brother more than enough to motivate him. *wink* lol

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 15 2003, 04:11 PM
.......he's a man. &nbsp;men have certain degrees of propensity to see flesh. &nbsp;it's the way we are hardwired. &nbsp;don't try and change us!
why watch porn or spend big bucks at a titty bar when a guy can get all that action from his girl, that'll get him plenty of flesh anyways. ;)

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 15 2003, 08:05 PM

Hun, i give the brother more than enough to motivate him. *wink* lol
you called me hun! only old jewish call me hun. **blush**

[applehead]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 13 2003, 07:13 PM
Anyway, he has agreed to not go to a strip club or watch porn because he knows it makes me unhappy.
why does it make you unhappy?

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 15 2003, 09:23 PM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 15 2003, 08:05 PM

Hun, i give the brother more than enough to motivate him. *wink* lol
you called me hun! only old jewish call me hun. **blush**
i guess i'm old-fashioned, what can i say? *shrug*

[deez nuts]

golden buns. i deleted my post. because i believe you're right. our goal as men in a relationship is to make the woman happy. i was wrong. porn is wrong. down with porn! your woman should be the only woman for you!

[golden_buns]

dude, I hope I wasn't imposive on my view, didn't mean to sound like that

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 16 2003, 11:24 AM
dude, I hope I wasn't imposive on my view, didn't mean to sound like that
no.

i've just seen the light after i worshipped the porcelain god like 15 min ago.

[mr. x]

call me naive but im thinking "why should a guy buy milk at the store when he's got a cow at home"

not that im calling Janet a cow

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by mr. x@Mar 17 2003, 01:48 AM
call me naive but im thinking "why should a guy buy milk at the store when he's got a cow at home"

not that im calling Janet a cow
huh? :lol: I don't get the analogy. *drr* oohhhh, i got it now! lol. *bangs head on wall*

[contra_diction]

a-ok! it's better than my s.o. getting off somewhere else when i'm not around.

[amietron]

nick has playboy in the bottom drawer of his desk!

[Arb Nam]

Originally posted by mr. x@Mar 16 2003, 10:48 PM
call me naive but im thinking "why should a guy buy milk at the store when he's got a cow at home"

not that im calling Janet a cow
Yeah, but does your cow give you chocolate milk? I think not. Porn isnt bad, it's how you use it.

[kasia]

Originally posted by mr. x@Mar 16 2003, 10:48 PM
call me naive but im thinking "why should a guy buy milk at the store when he's got a cow at home"

not that im calling Janet a cow
serves a different purpose.

[mr. x]

chocolote milk eh? Alright lets put it this way, would you rather watch someone drink chocolate milk or drink regular milk yourself?

[kasia]

Originally posted by mr. x@Mar 17 2003, 03:13 PM
chocolote milk eh? Alright lets put it this way, would you rather watch someone drink chocolate milk or drink regular milk yourself?
why can't you do both? have your own milk and watch someone else drink chocolate milk?

[mr. x]

like i said, i can see it from a educational standpoint.

Anyways, dont let her catch you with a milk mustache...

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by kasia@Mar 17 2003, 06:38 PM
why can't you do both? have your own milk and watch someone else drink chocolate milk?
Ok, how can one really compare chocolate/regular white milk (2%,skim, A &D, or 1%) with porn?

[Xishi]

It would likely worry me more, if he took no interest in porn, being such a...guy...

[Xishi]

I do not see why women make such a big fuss about men watching porn. Oh God, show me a guy who does not. I had not ever had the dilemma of catching a boyfriend in possession of porn, it is like guilty until proven innocent in case of guys and porn.

Men possessing porn, it is so implied. Hardly a big Oop...

(Bathroom-oriented sex/Clown-like sex and other freaky stuff would arouse interrogations though...)

[kasia]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Mar 17 2003, 04:15 PM
Ok, how can one really compare chocolate/regular white milk (2%,skim, A &D, or 1%) with porn?
i don't know; i was just using the analogy provided to me.

but i guess what i'm trying to say is this: a guy can love his girlfriend/wife but view porn at the same time. the fact that he watches porn does not indicate that he loves his girlfriend/wife any less. the same goes for women who watch porn.

i'm not saying that i agree with porn. i certainly disagree with certain types of porn because i believe that they are degrading towards women. not all, but most. but see, my reason for disagreeing with it has nothing to do with, "why does he need to watch that if he has me?" or anything along those lines. i don't think people watch porn necessarily because something is lacking in their relationships.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Xishi@Mar 18 2003, 03:57 AM
I do not see why women make such a big fuss about men watching porn. Oh God, show me a guy who does not. I had not ever had the dilemma of catching a boyfriend in possession of porn, it is like guilty until proven innocent in case of guys and porn.

Men possessing porn, it is so implied. Hardly a big Oop...

(Bathroom-oriented sex/Clown-like sex and other freaky stuff would arouse interrogations though...)
The "big fuss" is a legitimate topic to discuss, and a male professor of mine brought the issue up in class. I know a lot of guys I talk to who have seen porn at least once in their lives just because of random exposure from other friends or just through the junk emails they get, but they choose not to look at it because it doesn't interest them.

[himura-dono]

for that matter...ur like the first girl i've heard that DOESN'T watch porn....

[amietron]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Mar 18 2003, 11:18 AM
for that matter...ur like the first girl i've heard that DOESN'T watch porn....
I don't watch porn.

[himura-dono]

Originally posted by amietron@Mar 18 2003, 11:30 AM
I don't watch porn.
:o THE WORLD IS ENDING! :o

[/chicken little]

[artsfartsyjanet]

ok time to close the topic. Thanks for expressing your opinions. =)