Dominating Or Submissive?

[SunWuKong]

are you dominating or submissive in a relationship? or perhaps a less polarized term would be better, like assertive?

what about in bed?

[Arex]

I can go either way, depending on the girl. In my more recent long term relationship (man, that was a long time ago), I guess I was generally the more submissive one. In the one before that, I was the dominant one. Kinda weird.

As for in bed, I think it was pretty even handed as well.

Alex



<!--EDIT|Arex|Aug 7 2002, 01:29 AM-->

[achtungbaby]

I'd like to think it's even inside the bedroom and out. But I've been accused of being a controlling bastard (inside the bedroom *and* out) so what do I know.

[deez nuts]

I like to have my world rocked!

Seriously, it's life 50/50 an depends on mood and how things are going.

[karizma]

>> in relationships i hate fussing over menial things...so rather than argue ill go along with it...but when feel really strongly about something and my needs are not met or i see no change occurring then i tend to get a bit naggy...i cant help it really, it just irks the crap out of me when someone shrugs me off like my opinion or needs dont count...but eh dont get me wrong im not whiny im pretty laid back so yea...

>> in bed i enjoy dominating and being dominated...nothing i enjoy better than being thrown on the bed in a fit of passion and being told to perform a sexual act...not by like a stranger or something but yknow a bf or something of the sort...and therell be times when ill be the one pushing the guy onto the bed and ripping his clothes off...heh...so fun. :P

[artsfartsyjanet]

No Comment. :rolleyes:

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 7 2002, 08:19 PM
>> in bed i enjoy dominating and being dominated...nothing i enjoy better than being thrown on the bed in a fit of passion and being told to perform a sexual act...not by like a stranger or something but yknow a bf or something of the sort...and therell be times when ill be the one pushing the guy onto the bed and ripping his clothes off...heh...so fun. :P
And for those healthy males just tuning in, karizma is a minor :lol:

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Aug 8 2002, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by karizma@Aug 7 2002, 08:19 PM
>> in bed i enjoy dominating and being dominated...nothing i enjoy better than being thrown on the bed in a fit of passion and being told to perform a sexual act...not by like a stranger or something but yknow a bf or something of the sort...and therell be times when ill be the one pushing the guy onto the bed and ripping his clothes off...heh...so fun. :P
And for those healthy males just tuning in, karizma is a minor :lol:
yes, i had to resist a heart attack when i read what she wrote

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 8 2002, 08:07 PM
Originally posted by achtungbaby@Aug 8 2002, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by karizma@Aug 7 2002, 08:19 PM
>> in bed i enjoy dominating and being dominated...nothing i enjoy better than being thrown on the bed in a fit of passion and being told to perform a sexual act...not by like a stranger or something but yknow a bf or something of the sort...and therell be times when ill be the one pushing the guy onto the bed and ripping his clothes off...heh...so fun. :P
And for those healthy males just tuning in, karizma is a minor :lol:
yes, i had to resist a heart attack when i read what she wrote
17 in age but a full blown adult in mind and spirit, that karizma is.

[Jiosa76]

Dominating and assertive??Heh...Is that me? I wonder...:rolleyes:

[CrX3183]

i wonder which on i'll choose :( well i'm gonna have to say what Arex said, i can go either way depending on the women... ;) that sounds weird...

[Barbs]

the trick peoples, as a woman is to be dominating behind the scenes but to let your man think that he's the dominant one. it all works out well with a bit of subtlety and insight.

men, asian men particularly, like the facade of being the dominant one. (whether in the bedroom or out of it). so let them think that....

[Arex]

Originally posted by Barbs@Aug 10 2002, 02:59 AM
the trick peoples, as a woman is to be dominating behind the scenes but to let your man think that he's the dominant one. &nbsp;it all works out well with a bit of subtlety and insight.

men, asian men particularly, like the facade of being the dominant one. &nbsp;(whether in the bedroom or out of it). so let them think that....
Actually, I know full well and actually don't mind that my woman is actually my puppetmaster now and then... :)

Alex

[deez nuts]

Yeah I'm with arex. I like my women to throw down and show me who is boss, sometimes.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Barbs@Aug 10 2002, 05:59 AM
men, asian men particularly, like the facade of being the dominant one. (whether in the bedroom or out of it). so let them think that....
hrm? i tend to not like as much the women who are submissive in a relationship. and none of that manipulative bs please. just be assertive. i want a woman, not a doll.

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by Barbs@Aug 10 2002, 02:59 AM
the trick peoples, as a woman is to be dominating behind the scenes but to let your man think that he's the dominant one. it all works out well with a bit of subtlety and insight.

men, asian men particularly, like the facade of being the dominant one. (whether in the bedroom or out of it). so let them think that....
In the same way -- men, let the women think they have control behind closed doors.

[tapestrybabe]

I have a very quiet disposition. So, I think I'm submissive in general...

Same thing in the bedroom.. I'm soft spoken.. altho... I know what i want and dont want... and I'm not afraid to ask.. and i'm not afraid to say no either... i know my boundries and limitations...

[teaz0r]

daily basis. very dominating. i like to get shit done, i don't wait
around for slow people, i do what i gotta do. sometimes it's a
flaw, causes me to act before i think, but that's just me. i'm
more agressive than most people i meet, whether it's at
work school or at play. i don't like showing my weakness,
and if i spot someone's weakness, i'm more than willing
to attack it and rip it to shreds.

sex. action wise i'm pretty dominant, i got the submissive vibe
going most of the time, i try to be submissive all the time, but
then i find myself in dominant actions, i might not be as vocal,
but i'll rearrange myself so i get what i want. i'll suck cock cuz
he "orders" me too, i guess it's a turn on. i'll beg for cock, and
i'll make sure i get it, where i want it, i can do the whole throw
me down and ravage me game, but i'll play it the way i want it.
a guy can tease me and grab my hair and push my lips onto
his dick but if i want it in my ass, i know after a lick or two,
i'll just guide it near my ass and i'll know that i'll get it in my ass.

i don't mind being all out dominant, whether it be straddling
him pantyless and wait for something to pop up, or pushing
him down on to the bed and make him my bitch. fuck him
like how i wanna fuck him. sit on him where i wanna sit.
on his lap, or on his face.

the boys that can make me beg the longest without rolling
my eyes are always the best. but i like a good mix, i like
the power struggle. sex versus physical . and i love those
boys that have the power of sex over me. makes me crave
for them even more. i have yet to meet a man that can make
me totally submissive. i yearn to be.

[applehead]

you know, you're very open...

[teaz0r]

not true!

[ism]

Give and Take
Top and Bottom

If there's too much of one... there are gonna be problems. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

[Hiroshi2]

While I'd want both, I still think there's something really sexy about a woman pushing me around and beating the shit out of me for sex.......

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by Hiroshi2@Mar 2 2003, 06:52 AM
While I'd want both, I still think there's something really sexy about a woman pushing me around and beating the shit out of me for sex.......
*wink wink*

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Originally posted by Hiroshi2@Mar 1 2003, 03:52 PM
While I'd want both, I still think there's something really sexy about a woman pushing me around and beating the shit out of me for sex.......
Hiroshi speaks for all men.

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by FrozenPizza@Mar 2 2003, 07:10 AM
all men.
*wink wink* i'll clamp you down and dominate you!
*thwap thwap*

[angel nympho]

I'm a little bit of both. I think it's healthy for each person in the relationship to be a little bit of both.

In bed.. I wouldn't say I'm submissive, but I enjoy it when a guy wants to be in charge. But then again, i have my moments.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by FrozenPizza@Mar 1 2003, 07:10 PM
Hiroshi speaks for all men.
not me
i do the pushing around when i'm in bed
the girl can try to dominate
she'll just fail miserably

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 2 2003, 08:51 AM
the girl can try to dominate
she'll just fail miserably
we'll see about that!

[Commando_turned_MD]

I am dominating in the sack.........
I prefer my mates to be submissive......

The POWER

[blkazngirl]

50/50 depends on the situation. If Im feeling freaky, he's in trouble! :rolleyes:

[deez nuts]

Submissive is good cuz it equals less work!

Gah people get with it. J/k!

But it does <_<

[angelwiththesword]

i'm pretty submissive.

but i will be dominant, if the role is required

[golden_buns]

submisive,

SPANK MY GOLDEN BOOTTY, OHHHHH YEAHHHHH!

[Faithless]

What women want? (http://www.townonline.com/lynnfield/news/local_regional/nss_artnsmadore01162004.htm)
With her erotic 'Bedtime Stories,' a local author puts forth the theory that while empowerment is good, being submissive in the bedroom is not so bad.

She is well aware of the paradox. In her decidedly adult "Bedtime Stories for Women," first-time author Nancy Madore tries to knock down norms that force women into submissive roles in public arenas, while encouraging private fantasies in which women are rendered all but helpless.

"My feeling is that we, as women, want equal pay, equal opportunities, equal representation in government ... but don't dare ask for equality when it comes to the pleasures of life, too," says Madore. "Sex is one of those things. We don't have equality there. In fact, we're far from it."

Madore's collection of 11 short stories, which borrows from classic fairy tales and includes highly erotic twists, are based on her research about women's sexuality and the fantasies, she learned, they harbor in the still and quiet waters of their souls.

"I'll admit that, as a feminist, when I started the research about women's fantasies, I almost gave up on the project, because some of them could be construed by feminists as casting women in roles that are too submissive," says Madore, who lives in the Chebacco Lake area of Hamilton. "I could have made the women heroines powerful, but that's not what women are fantasizing about, according to my research."

Madore mentions the scene in "Gone with the Wind" in which Rhett Butler sweeps up Scarlett O'Hara in his arms and carries her away to her bedchamber as one of the most enduring images of romance in our culture, despite the admission that some would have considered the encounter as bordering on rape.

The latter perspective was, apparently, the one that made women uncomfortable at the feminist My Retreat publishing house, where Madore first pitched her book. They struggled with the content before dismissing it as "too controversial," according to the 41-year-old author.

While they must have appreciated Madore's clear stabs at unreasonable cultural expectations for women, her sexually submissive characters in "Bedtime Stories for Women" were not in line with My Retreat's push to portray females as more in control.

"They wanted me to portray dominant women in the stories, but if being more submissive is what women's fantasies are, why should I judge them?" asked Madore. "I could have made my heroines powerful, but that's not what I've found women want."
...

[rice cracker]

not me
i do the pushing around when i'm in bed
the girl can try to dominate
she'll just fail miserably

It's true. :biggrin:

[John0101]

A girl that dominates in bed is hot.

But I relationships I would want to be in a 50/50 relationship.

[SunWuKong]

wow, ChottoMatte revived a damn ancient thread.

[Faithless]

wow, ChottoMatte revived a damn ancient thread.
Sorry about that. Just happened to be scanning the old threads, and my kinky little mind found this thread.

BTW:

A return to submissive wives? (http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2004/02/02/a_return_to_submissive_wives/)
(Laura) Schlessinger's new book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," is viewed by friend and foe alike as a "back to the good old days" treatise: for some, a rediscovery of the deep truths we've forgotten in the rush to women's liberation; for others, an attempt to roll back decades of women's progress.

Yet some of what Schlessinger says doesn't sound terribly radical. In the age of feminism, she argues, we have paid a lot of attention to women's complaints about men and criticized men for not meeting women's needs -- but we've forgotten that men too have needs and women too have faults. Somehow, we've even developed the notion that a woman who seeks to meet her husband's needs is subservient (but a husband who fails to meet his wife's needs is a pig).

"Most of the women who complain that they are not getting what they want from their husbands should stop and look at how disrespectful and disdainful they are of them," writes Schlessinger (who stresses that she isn't talking about abusers or womanizers but about basically decent, underappreciated husbands).
...

[applehead]

It's true. :biggrin:

it's always the quiet ones that you
have to watch out for.

[Irezumi Kiss]

it's always the quiet ones that you
have to watch out for.

The loud ones need love too, ya know!

:tongue: