sexual harassment at work [Archive]

karizma

10-19-2002, 05:58 PM

>> oh geez...ive lost count...

>> for me sexual harassment is talking to me, touching me in a way where i dont feel comfortable and have already told him to stop but he keeps pursuing...but i know it doesnt only come in those forms...

>> i remember working at a coffeeshop and i closed the store 3 times a week with my boss...my boss was oh say late forties? and he always insisted on standing in back of me when i washed the blenders and whatnot because he claimed that it was just easier that way...da fuck man? but i was desperate for a job then so i grit my teeth and put up with it...i asked the other girls there whether they did this to them too and they all said yes...fricken a man...i quit a little later...i just kinda got fed up...=P i regret not doing anything about it....

>> and yea sexual harassment didnt stop at the workplace for me...it followed me to parties and bars and wherever loser guys were at...=(...and people wonder why im bitter.

mrazntre

10-19-2002, 06:03 PM

deez nuts

10-19-2002, 08:09 PM

Originally posted by karizma@Oct 19 2002, 08:58 PM
>> oh geez...ive lost count...

>> for me sexual harassment is talking to me, touching me in a way where i dont feel comfortable and have already told him to stop but he keeps pursuing...but i know it doesnt only come in those forms...

>> i remember working at a coffeeshop and i closed the store 3 times a week with my boss...my boss was oh say late forties? and he always insisted on standing in back of me when i washed the blenders and whatnot because he claimed that it was just easier that way...da fuck man? but i was desperate for a job then so i grit my teeth and put up with it...i asked the other girls there whether they did this to them too and they all said yes...fricken a man...i quit a little later...i just kinda got fed up...=P i regret not doing anything about it....

>> and yea sexual harassment didnt stop at the workplace for me...it followed me to parties and bars and wherever loser guys were at...=(...and people wonder why im bitter.
Should've busted up money's front when you quit.

Sorry to hear about all that shit.

kasia

10-19-2002, 09:41 PM

Originally posted by karizma@Oct 20 2002, 01:58 AM
>> oh geez...ive lost count...

>> for me sexual harassment is talking to me, touching me in a way where i dont feel comfortable and have already told him to stop but he keeps pursuing...but i know it doesnt only come in those forms...

>> i remember working at a coffeeshop and i closed the store 3 times a week with my boss...my boss was oh say late forties? and he always insisted on standing in back of me when i washed the blenders and whatnot because he claimed that it was just easier that way...da fuck man? but i was desperate for a job then so i grit my teeth and put up with it...i asked the other girls there whether they did this to them too and they all said yes...fricken a man...i quit a little later...i just kinda got fed up...=P i regret not doing anything about it....

>> and yea sexual harassment didnt stop at the workplace for me...it followed me to parties and bars and wherever loser guys were at...=(...and people wonder why im bitter.
wow, karizma, your boss was out of line!

this is what i've noticed. i think i was sexually harassed more as a teenager than now. during that time, however, i never really knew if it was sexual harassment--i knew something was wrong, but i wasn't sure if it would amount to harassment or if there was much i could do about it. i think this is a common thing--that young girls are often targets--because they aren't experienced enough yet to know when to speak up.

i think, in karizma's situation, he was completely taking advantage and something should have been done. only, if i were at her age, i probably wouldn't have said anything either. i would have just thought the guy was a creep.

bottom line is, because the younger ones are often the targets, we need to teach them what is and is not acceptable and what they can do to protect their own dignity.

also, karizma, if you told him to lay off and he fired you--he would be in deep shit.

CONTACT YOUR LOCAL EEOC !

karizma

10-19-2002, 10:24 PM

>> kasia: geez iwish i knew you when you i was still working at the coffeeshop >_<...we coulda busted his ass! haha...

>> now that i think back on it i realize how naive it was to think it was just "normal" and that he stood in back of me because it was actually easier that way and making me go up a ladder in a skirt was no coincidence at all...but all of the girls my age working there were either too scared or too shy to really say anything =/...

kasia

10-19-2002, 11:50 PM

Originally posted by karizma@Oct 20 2002, 06:24 AM
>> kasia: geez iwish i knew you when you i was still working at the coffeeshop >_<...we coulda busted his ass! haha...
bleh. i know how you feel. i have a story but it doesn't really have to do with being harassed at the workplace.

when i was 13, i was getting my haircut at this salon in s.f. my hair was long, and the barber was pulling down to my breasts and pressing against them as he was cutting. he wasn't groping or anything and was acting all professional, so i couldn't tell at the time if it was intentional or not. that was also the first time i went to a salon by myself.

the *entire* time, i felt like i was being molested and couldn't do anything about b/c...i was too young. that incident still sticks with me.

i hate hearing stories, like saiko's, about how young girls get taken advantage of in this way--it's really sick.

angel nympho

10-20-2002, 01:16 AM

Sexual harrassment laws are stupid, if you ask me. It gives women the right to slap a "sexual harassment" label on any guy she finds annoying. Persistence shouldn't be punished. If the guy was that bad, just make sure he gets the hint next time. Kick him in the balls, stick a finger up his ass, publicly humiliate him...

At work they made us watch sexual harassment videos in which it was defined as "unwanted comments or sexual advances... etc etc etc." By that definition, it seems like any random asshole at work could come up to me and say "hey, cutie" and if I found that annoying, I could get him fired for sexual harassment. That's stupid, considering if some other guy at work did the same thing, I could just giggle and laugh and it'd be all okay because his comments were not "unwanted." But how the fuck is the guy going to know if it's wanted or not?!? I'm not saying that sexual harassment doesn't happen. I'm saying that kinda shit should leave the punishment up to the woman. Kick him in the balls or stab him in the arm. Whatever you want.

Sexual harassment doesn't exist. Unwelcome touching, groping, staring, all that shit... shouldn't be punished by law. It should be punished by my foot in your balls. Attempted rape, rape, things of that nature... now leave THAT to the law to punish.

ChinaLama

10-20-2002, 01:32 AM

yeah...except if you kick someone in the balls, you'd get punished too for battery and assault.

i don't think you'd find it pleasant if someone was basically stalking you, like say asking you out again and again and again, and then when you kick his nuts open, YOU're the one who goes to jail while he just gets a bit humiliated. Then he sues you for medical bills and you still wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

So I think while sexual harassment laws may go overboard, they are necessary and they are useful.

Plus guys can be sexually harassed or molested too. Like when I was in 6th grade, there was this girl who made a habit of grabbing younger guys' balls. I was VERY pissed off when that happened but I couldn't do anything about it physically since I was a little 6th grader and she was either in junior high or high school.

Plus I think sexual harassment laws, while they're not intended to help men for the most part, can be useful for us. Like it may be socially acceptable for a girl to slap a guy for making lewd comments to her, but if a girl say made me feel sexually uncomfortable, I couldn't just give her a bloody lip. So maybe if that situation arises for a man, he'd have to go the route of a sexual harassment suit to seek any remedy, since he can't really seek very satisfying social retribution. I mean if he started calling her a slut, maybe HE'D get sued for sexual harassment. :frown:

kasia

10-20-2002, 01:36 AM

whether a woman is sexually harassed is determined using the reasonable person standard. that is, they'll look at the surrounding circumstances, the past history between the woman and the guy, their relationship with one another (boss-subordinate, etc.) and so on to decide whether a reasonable person in her shoes would have felt that she was being harassed. thus, it is not easy to just "slap someone with sexual harassment." you have to prove that your claim is reasonable--and the burden of proof is on you.

in situations where a boss or teacher is the one doing the harassing, it may not be that easy to speak up because you have a lot to lose...

angel nympho

10-20-2002, 01:45 AM

Originally posted by ChinaLama@Oct 20 2002, 09:32 AM
yeah...except if you kick someone in the balls, you'd get punished too for battery and assault.

i don't think you'd find it pleasant if someone was basically stalking you, like say asking you out again and again and again, and then when you kick his nuts open, YOU're the one who goes to jail while he just gets a bit humiliated. Then he sues you for medical bills and you still wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

So I think while sexual harassment laws may go overboard, they are necessary and they are useful.

Plus guys can be sexually harassed or molested too. Like when I was in 6th grade, there was this girl who made a habit of grabbing younger guys' balls. I was VERY pissed off when that happened but I couldn't do anything about it physically since I was a little 6th grader and she was either in junior high or high school.

Plus I think sexual harassment laws, while they're not intended to help men for the most part, can be useful for us. Like it may be socially acceptable for a girl to slap a guy for making lewd comments to her, but if a girl say made me feel sexually uncomfortable, I couldn't just give her a bloody lip. So maybe if that situation arises for a man, he'd have to go the route of a sexual harassment suit to seek any remedy, since he can't really seek very satisfying social retribution. I mean if he started calling her a slut, maybe HE'D get sued for sexual harassment. :frown:
Well, I see your point. But do you see mine? They define sexual harassment as ANY unwanted sexual advances. Or ANYTHING that MAY have sexual content that you don't want to hear. Makes no sense to me. A guy could just be trying to be friendly and I could get his ass fired for sexual harassment. It's basically like, who's to say what's unwanted and what's not? The line that you should never cross has never really been very clear. Adding a legal risk to all that is just scary.

ChinaLama

10-20-2002, 01:54 AM

Originally posted by angel nympho@Oct 20 2002, 09:45 AM
Originally posted by ChinaLama@Oct 20 2002, 09:32 AM
yeah...except if you kick someone in the balls, you'd get punished too for battery and assault.

i don't think you'd find it pleasant if someone was basically stalking you, like say asking you out again and again and again, and then when you kick his nuts open, YOU're the one who goes to jail while he just gets a bit humiliated. Then he sues you for medical bills and you still wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

So I think while sexual harassment laws may go overboard, they are necessary and they are useful.

Plus guys can be sexually harassed or molested too. Like when I was in 6th grade, there was this girl who made a habit of grabbing younger guys' balls. I was VERY pissed off when that happened but I couldn't do anything about it physically since I was a little 6th grader and she was either in junior high or high school.  

Plus I think sexual harassment laws, while they're not intended to help men for the most part, can be useful for us. Like it may be socially acceptable for a girl to slap a guy for making lewd comments to her, but if a girl say made me feel sexually uncomfortable, I couldn't just give her a bloody lip. So maybe if that situation arises for a man, he'd have to go the route of a sexual harassment suit to seek any remedy, since he can't really seek very satisfying social retribution. I mean if he started calling her a slut, maybe HE'D get sued for sexual harassment.  :frown:
Well, I see your point. But do you see mine? They define sexual harassment as ANY unwanted sexual advances. Or ANYTHING that MAY have sexual content that you don't want to hear. Makes no sense to me. A guy could just be trying to be friendly and I could get his ass fired for sexual harassment. It's basically like, who's to say what's unwanted and what's not? The line that you should never cross has never really been very clear. Adding a legal risk to all that is just scary.
I see the point and I agree that if ANYTHING can be sexual harassment, it leads to some frivolous lawsuits or some paranoia.

Then again, maybe we're just conditioned to accept some sexual advances as acceptable when they shouldn't be? I dunno...certainly GUYS are conditioned to accept any female attention as flattering, except for the Amy Fisher type. :)

I agree w/ kasia. i think if courts don't just randomly say anything can be sexual harassment, but instead say anything that a reasonable person finds is sexual harassment, that helps close some loopholes. plus sometimes its better to define something very broadly and just let human reason narrow it down rather than making very tight definitions that are prone to loopholes. For instance, maybe in MOST cases, asking a girl out on a date is NOT sexual harassment, but asking a girl to go out w/ him and then firing her later after she rejected him should be considered sexual harassment. But if say we didn't define asking out as possible sexual harassment, and specifically excluded it, then we wouldn't or would be less able to help out the girl.

angel nympho

10-20-2002, 02:01 AM

^-- Well, I just say that having some warnings would be necessary. Like, if your only real reason for filing for sexual harassment is annoyance, that's pretty bullshit. The victim better warn the person a bunch of times first and make it absolutely fucking CLEAR that what they're doing is making them uncomfortable and adding to a hostile work environment. Then I see the purpose. But other than that, it's just giving LOTS power to people who don't really need it.

kasia

10-20-2002, 10:51 AM

it's really NOT that easy to bring a sexual harassment suit.

that's like saying noise ordinances shouldn't exist because they would be abused. why can't we just walk next door to tell our neighbors to shut up? by having the noise ordinances, we're allowing people to just call the police and have their neighbors ticketed every time they feel annoyed.

kimpossible

10-20-2002, 11:51 AM

Years ago, in the couple years between highschool and college, I was denied a promotion because I did not fit my superior's idea of what a woman should be or look like. Not just in comparison with my co-workers, but what a woman should look like or act.

I was the employee with the most experience, technical expertise, best customer relations and highest grossing production. I trained every employee at our location, including my own manager because he was hired by friends to fill the position.

When told why I was turned down for the promotion and another less experienced person was selected, I was also given a degrading mark in my permanent file that I was not looking 'professional' enough. This was the term that was filed, what I was told to my face by this manager was that I was not making enough of an effort to look more appealing or feminine.

Some perspective: this was a production job. We wore pants and protective shoes to perform the job. Often times I would be required to fix machines and thereby get a little dirty. No one else, including the manager, could fix the machines. It was part of my job description and the reason I was already in a supervisory position.

Additionally, the manager went out of his way to express his sexual attraction to blondes. He complimented female blonde employees and customers.

Upon hearing his reason for marking my record and denying me the position, I told the manager directly that it was unacceptable. I went through the logical steps, escalating this internally through the company first. As I said, the man had been handed his position because he knew people at the company - it was conveniently dismissed by the company and I was labeled a troublemaker.

Shoe is on the other foot now. His old buddy, the one that hired him, just moved into my neighborhood.

deez nuts

10-20-2002, 12:07 PM

My girlfriend was being harassed by these two security guards in her office building, a few months back. One crossed the line by grabbing her, when she was working late one night.

So I had to go down there with two of my NYPD friends to regulate and make it clear that it wasn't appreciated. Almost got into a brawl in the reception area of her work place. My lawyer friend got involved and we reported it to his supervisor and the security firm he worked for and he got fired a week later.

After that whole fiasco, it made me realize the amount bullshit a woman has to go through everyday, especially a woman of color.

Bottomline: I'm all for jovial flirting but when you cross the line and encroach upon another person's space, disrespect them and their wishes, make them feel uncomfortable, you've cross the line. No woman should be subjected to this, especially a teenager. Fucking assholes.

kasia

10-20-2002, 12:43 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 20 2002, 07:51 PM
I went through the logical steps, escalating this internally through the company first. As I said, the man had been handed his position because he knew people at the company - it was conveniently dismissed by the company and I was labeled a troublemaker..
this just goes to show that, even though there are rules against sexual harassment, they're not easy abuse. it's hard to even get them to be enforced!

amietron

10-20-2002, 02:02 PM

so what if you're eating lunch and one of your acquaintances, a guy, throws a grape down your shirt?

angel nympho

10-20-2002, 02:06 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Oct 20 2002, 06:51 PM
it's really NOT that easy to bring a sexual harassment suit.

that's like saying noise ordinances shouldn't exist because they would be abused. why can't we just walk next door to tell our neighbors to shut up? by having the noise ordinances, we're allowing people to just call the police and have their neighbors ticketed every time they feel annoyed.
Aren't we, though?

kasia

10-20-2002, 04:09 PM

Originally posted by angel nympho@Oct 20 2002, 10:06 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Oct 20 2002, 06:51 PM
it's really NOT that easy to bring a sexual harassment suit.

that's like saying noise ordinances shouldn't exist because they would be abused.  why can't we just walk next door to tell our neighbors to shut up?  by having the noise ordinances, we're allowing people to just call the police and have their neighbors ticketed every time they feel annoyed.
Aren't we, though?
i'm not sure i understand your question. are you saying that you think sexual harassment laws and noise ordinances are frivolous?

angel nympho

10-20-2002, 04:10 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Oct 21 2002, 12:09 AM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Oct 20 2002, 10:06 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Oct 20 2002, 06:51 PM
it's really NOT that easy to bring a sexual harassment suit.

that's like saying noise ordinances shouldn't exist because they would be abused. why can't we just walk next door to tell our neighbors to shut up? by having the noise ordinances, we're allowing people to just call the police and have their neighbors ticketed every time they feel annoyed.
Aren't we, though?
i'm not sure i understand your question. are you saying that you think sexual harassment laws and noise ordinances are frivolous?
No, but I think they should be tightened a bit to make it so that we can't just complain and sic law enforcement on somebody just 'cuz we're annoyed. But from what you guys all said earlier, apparently sexual harassment laws are pretty tight.

angel nympho

10-20-2002, 04:11 PM

^-- Sometimes it really is an accident. My friend told me about a time he was putting a pen in somebody's shirt pocket for them 'cuz their hands were full of plates, and the person threatened sexual harassment because the shirt pocket happened to be close to her boob. :confused:

amietron

10-20-2002, 04:49 PM

Originally posted by angel nympho@Oct 20 2002, 04:11 PM
^-- Sometimes it really is an accident. My friend told me about a time he was putting a pen in somebody's shirt pocket for them 'cuz their hands were full of plates, and the person threatened sexual harassment because the shirt pocket happened to be close to her boob. :confused:
that's lame. as long as he didn't grope her breast, there isn't reason for a lawsuit.

kasia

10-20-2002, 05:01 PM

Originally posted by amietron@Oct 21 2002, 12:49 AM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Oct 20 2002, 04:11 PM
^-- Sometimes it really is an accident.  My friend told me about a time he was putting a pen in somebody's shirt pocket for them 'cuz their hands were full of plates, and the person threatened sexual harassment because the shirt pocket happened to be close to her boob.   :confused:
that's lame. as long as he didn't grope her breast, there isn't reason for a lawsuit.
but what if he is constantly "accidentally" brushing against them with the back of his hand? that wouldn't be groping...

amietron

10-22-2002, 08:16 AM

Originally posted by kasia@Oct 20 2002, 05:01 PM
Originally posted by amietron@Oct 21 2002, 12:49 AM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Oct 20 2002, 04:11 PM
^-- Sometimes it really is an accident. My friend told me about a time he was putting a pen in somebody's shirt pocket for them 'cuz their hands were full of plates, and the person threatened sexual harassment because the shirt pocket happened to be close to her boob. :confused:
that's lame. as long as he didn't grope her breast, there isn't reason for a lawsuit.
but what if he is constantly "accidentally" brushing against them with the back of his hand? that wouldn't be groping...
as long as it's just a one time thing, i supposed i'd pass it off as an accident. any more than 3-4 times, i think i'd either confront and embarass the person or file for a lawsuit.

kasia

10-22-2002, 06:23 PM

what if, and this *does* happens, it's a one-time thing (the touching or other inappropriate act) and it's at a company party where he's *drunk*?

will you view this as more forgiving?

and does it make a difference if he is your boss, equal, or subordinate?

himura-dono

10-24-2002, 05:20 PM

we watched a video at work once, but it seemed to empower the women there to fire guys for fun.

suddenly 2 girls, very fine btw, decided to start wearing as little clothing as possible after the video, and always seem to drop their pens in the hallways, bend at the hip to pick it up, and of course the first guy that looks is dead.

those bitches nearly got me fired for telling them to quit the childish acts. 17yo in management position is good for a few things tho. the top brass new i wasn't like my previous boss, who btw nailed those dumb beetches every other week. when i fired him (wierd situation, my boss' boss came to me, and told me to fire the bottle neck in our dept. so i marched over to my boss' office with a cardboard box with the words, "fired asshole" on it) they were pissed that the only things keeping their jobs in tact was gone. but they tried to nail me on sexual harassment and sexism when i tried to fire them for legit reasons.

and btw, do any of the women here think 5 hrs a day is too much time to be in the restroom in an 8hr work day? i thought so, but not them :D

himura-dono

10-24-2002, 05:26 PM

and kass (is that ok?) there's plenty of times where guys deserve to be fired, but it really sucks when some women abuse the sexual harassment laws.

it's just like when a few guys do something retarded and sudenly cursing all men for their infidelities and such. many times it's just too overdone.

many men don't know what they did because to them it was completely innocent. so a sudden slap or threat is going to shock most of us. now if i guy came up to you from behind, squeezed your butt or fondled you, that's someone deserving of a lawsuit, but for the avg guy who accidentally touches/pokes a womans breast or brushes it, it's just an accident. if it's repeatedly done over and over, then it's not an accident, if he turns red or something, then it was a total accident.

EDIT: ok, random thing...i'm watching "fighting for love" with sammi cheng ( :luv: ) and tony leung ( :retard: ), and she just got sexually harassed during the tai chi sword practice.

kimpossible

10-24-2002, 05:33 PM

Here's my crappy answer to the drunk boss question. If my boss was Japanese, I mean old school Japanese in America or Japan - I would brush it off and take a wait and see attitude. Chinese, I'd put probably hurt him hard. White American boss in America or Japan- no fucking way he'd be touching me again. I actually turned down an internship in Japan because of a creepy white boss.

Yes, I really how goddamned unfair and racist my answers are. Pick it apart to your heart's content.

Grass Monkey

10-24-2002, 05:38 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 25 2002, 01:33 AM
Here's my crappy answer to the drunk boss question. If my boss was Japanese, I mean old school Japanese in America or Japan - I would brush it off and take a wait and see attitude. Chinese, I'd put probably hurt him hard. White American boss in America or Japan- no fucking way he'd be touching me again. I actually turned down an internship in Japan because of a creepy white boss.

Yes, I really how goddamned unfair and racist my answers are. Pick it apart to your heart's content.
Eh.. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion? :huh:

New Math equation. Let g represent Grass Monkey, c represent Chinese, and h^2 represent Hello_Hapa.

g=c=Hurt bad if he messes with h^2

deez nuts

10-24-2002, 06:01 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 24 2002, 08:33 PM
Here's my crappy answer to the drunk boss question. If my boss was Japanese, I mean old school Japanese in America or Japan - I would brush it off and take a wait and see attitude. Chinese, I'd put probably hurt him har
You lost me why would you hold the old school Japanese boss to a different standard than a Chinese boss.

I'm not attacking your view on this, just curious. Wouldn't you go ballistic on both? Educate me.

kimpossible

10-24-2002, 06:12 PM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Oct 24 2002, 06:01 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 24 2002, 08:33 PM
Here's my crappy answer to the drunk boss question. If my boss was Japanese, I mean old school Japanese in America or Japan - I would brush it off and take a wait and see attitude. Chinese, I'd put probably hurt him har
You lost me why would you hold the old school Japanese boss to a different standard than a Chinese boss.

I'm not attacking your view on this, just curious. Wouldn't you go ballistic on both? Educate me.
I guess I would expect the old schooler Japanese to be a pervert. Also, it's kind of a accepted Japanese business practice to let things slide when drinking occurs. In my case, because I know better, I know what the rules are so I wouldn't take the job unless I was willing to play by them. I feel pressured to keep my American mores to a minimum when I'm in more of an "Asian" situation.

Is there some fucked up cultural bias or desensitization on my part? Oh definitely. So don't feel bad about questioning me on this one. I'll be happy to answer as much as I understand the way I feel.

deez nuts

10-24-2002, 06:24 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 24 2002, 09:12 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Oct 24 2002, 06:01 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 24 2002, 08:33 PM
Here's my crappy answer to the drunk boss question. If my boss was Japanese, I mean old school Japanese in America or Japan - I would brush it off and take a wait and see attitude. Chinese, I'd put probably hurt him har
You lost me why would you hold the old school Japanese boss to a different standard than a Chinese boss.

I'm not attacking your view on this, just curious. Wouldn't you go ballistic on both? Educate me.
I guess I would expect the old schooler Japanese to be a pervert. Also, it's kind of a accepted Japanese business practice to let things slide when drinking occurs. In my case, because I know better, I know what the rules are so I wouldn't take the job unless I was willing to play by them. I feel pressured to keep my American mores to a minimum when I'm in more of an "Asian" situation.

Is there some fucked up cultural bias or desensitization on my part? Oh definitely. So don't feel bad about questioning me on this one. I'll be happy to answer as much as I understand the way I feel.
Hey it's cool with me. I was just curious. Whatever it's your life experience, I'm not gonna knock it.

And there it goes again that Japanese and pervert thing. Dang, I missed out somewhere.

angel nympho

10-24-2002, 06:32 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 25 2002, 02:12 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Oct 24 2002, 06:01 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 24 2002, 08:33 PM
Here's my crappy answer to the drunk boss question. If my boss was Japanese, I mean old school Japanese in America or Japan - I would brush it off and take a wait and see attitude. Chinese, I'd put probably hurt him har
You lost me why would you hold the old school Japanese boss to a different standard than a Chinese boss.

I'm not attacking your view on this, just curious. Wouldn't you go ballistic on both? Educate me.
I guess I would expect the old schooler Japanese to be a pervert. Also, it's kind of a accepted Japanese business practice to let things slide when drinking occurs. In my case, because I know better, I know what the rules are so I wouldn't take the job unless I was willing to play by them. I feel pressured to keep my American mores to a minimum when I'm in more of an "Asian" situation.

Is there some fucked up cultural bias or desensitization on my part? Oh definitely. So don't feel bad about questioning me on this one. I'll be happy to answer as much as I understand the way I feel.
It may be true in Japan, but moving to America and trying to live a socially acceptable life here would entail that you follow our guidelines of respect. It's even more than a guideline, it's a law here in America. Follow it.

amietron

10-26-2002, 01:30 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 24 2002, 06:12 PM
I guess I would expect the old schooler Japanese to be a pervert. Also, it's kind of a accepted Japanese business practice to let things slide when drinking occurs.
I think I'd agree with you.

Business in Japan in still way old school. Often it's not a matter of your work skills, age counts too. When applying for jobs, they require you to submit marriage status and background of your partner, too.

kasia

10-26-2002, 05:06 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 25 2002, 02:12 AM
I guess I would expect the old schooler Japanese to be a pervert. Also, it's kind of a accepted Japanese business practice to let things slide when drinking occurs. In my case, because I know better, I know what the rules are so I wouldn't take the job unless I was willing to play by them. I feel pressured to keep my American mores to a minimum when I'm in more of an "Asian" situation.
are you referring to japanese bosses in japan or japanese bosses in the u.s.? and would there be a difference? why or why not?

Arex

10-27-2002, 05:29 AM

Originally posted by angel nympho@Oct 24 2002, 07:32 PM
It may be true in Japan, but moving to America and trying to live a socially acceptable life here would entail that you follow our guidelines of respect. It's even more than a guideline, it's a law here in America. Follow it.
I agree 100%. If you're going to do business in America, you've got to learn what is and isn't acceptable behavior here. My boss's mission is to clean up K-Town. There's so much shady shit going on there...sexual harassment, wage violations, race, gender and age discrimination, you name it...=/

Alex

kimpossible

10-29-2002, 02:59 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Oct 26 2002, 05:06 PM
are you referring to japanese bosses in japan or japanese bosses in the u.s.? and would there be a difference? why or why not?
*gah* Not ignoring the question. I had a decently thought out response and then the forums went kaplooey when I tried to add my reply. I'll try again later when I can string a coherent thought together. I want to talk about this more because I don't understand why I think the way I do about this. It intrigues me.

wylin

10-29-2002, 03:14 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Oct 26 2002, 05:06 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Oct 25 2002, 02:12 AM
I guess I would expect the old schooler Japanese to be a pervert. Also, it's kind of a accepted Japanese business practice to let things slide when drinking occurs. In my case, because I know better, I know what the rules are so I wouldn't take the job unless I was willing to play by them. I feel pressured to keep my American mores to a minimum when I'm in more of an "Asian" situation.
are you referring to japanese bosses in japan or japanese bosses in the u.s.? and would there be a difference? why or why not?
i call them w/ suffix sama, dono, san, sensei my japanese bosses.