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View Full Version : Stigmatism


pikachupacabra
01-24-2005, 02:04 AM
If this is the wrong forum, i'm apologizing...to who, I don't really know, I guess the mods since they'll have to put it somewhere else.

Anyways, I'm posting this in the women's forum because it seems to get more traffic and the men seem to sniff around it more so it's assured both genders.

Does anyone ever feel that they are "marked" if they ever date a non-asian? If you're a women, and you're seen in public with a non-asian in a relationship type of situation, does that seem to give you some sort of "hands-off" to all the asian guys? Do they end up focusing their efforts elsewhere, or almost seem to discard you and consider you not worth it?

The same applies for guys. Does any of that happen to you?

In my short, and most surely unrepresentative life, the asian women get the shaft here. I know a few who dated asian and non-asian and found that once people (I went to a small college where everyone knew each other) saw them with non-asians, the asians stopped calling, as if they'd been "marked" for the (whities). However, for the guys, they seemed to get more popular with the asian crowd, and less so (in some cases) with the non-white crowd. Marked again I guess, but perhaps in a less hurtful (re: kicked out from own racial group) way.

Thoughts? I dunno if I should ask for what this means just yet. Right now I'm just curious if anyone can even relate.

kasia
01-24-2005, 10:31 AM
nice topic. moving to sex & health.

AliBabaIncorporated
01-27-2005, 05:36 AM
On one hand, it's really true, in my experience. But once you get out of college, though, things are a lot more atomized; when you meet someone, you don't immediately know who their friends are, what clique they hung out with, etc. (Except, of course, for people you meet in certain bar districts where the same crowd goes every week and so you see who hits on whom, who shoots whom down, etc). So for the most part, that kind of "instant judgment" starts to fade away.