Death

[sinisterpanda]

At what age do we start to understands death and the permanence of it? I'm watching stepmom, and the little boy doesn't seem to be acting the part of his mother dying.

[tapestrybabe]

so what is than the normal way to act the part than??
my aunt had died several months ago...
she died of cancer...
i watched her die and take her last breath too...
and i never ended up shedding one tear either...
not even at the funeral...

[applehead]

At what age do we start to understands death and the permanence of it? I'm watching stepmom, and the little boy doesn't seem to be acting the part of his mother dying.

oh! you know what, i think
i learned about this in child
development class.
okiee. that wasn't much help.

[kimpossible]

I bought my grave a couple of years ago. I walk over it about once or twice a month.

[Tao]

I bought my grave a couple of years ago. I walk over it about once or twice a month.


man, that's morbid....i'd hate to have my grave already decided for me. suprise me a little...

[stunninglyAsian]

I want one like the father's grave in the Royal Tenambaums.

[DragonKnight]

Screw graves. Cremate my punk ass. Then flush. :biggrin:

[nonamerasian]

Different kids react differently.

One of my nephews would argue with me at five saying that death wasn't forever. I think a girl in his class flatlined and was revived and she would brag about it. He was adamant that could happen to everyone. For him, death wasn't a big deal.

At the same age one of my neice's lost her grandmother. While she seemed to have the same lighthearted attitude towards death, even joking around at the funeral, she broke down on me a few days after the funeral crying for hours about how she hated that people were saying that her grandmother would always remain with everyone. She cried non-stop saying that death means that she's gone. Gone forever.

I've seen five-year-olds reacting between those two extremes, with the boys typically having less an understanding (or taking the concept more lightly) than the girls.

I don't know their reactions by six, but by seven, I think most of them got it.

This is based on kids I've observed. I don't know how typical this is out of the family.

[sOKaLiBoY]

i lost both of my grandfathers when i was 13. i didn't shead a tear at either funeral. when i went to hawaii last year and stood where my grandfather's ashes were spread on the beach, i cried. i think then i knew that he was gone forever.

[Faithless]

At what age do we start to understands death and the permanence of it? I'm watching stepmom, and the little boy doesn't seem to be acting the part of his mother dying.
What was there relationship like? If it was distant, then that might be understandable.
.
i lost both of my grandfathers when i was 13. i didn't shead a tear at either funeral. when i went to hawaii last year and stood where my grandfather's ashes were spread on the beach, i cried. i think then i knew that he was gone forever.
Didn't shead a tear at 13? Wow.

Did you interact with them much?

[sOKaLiBoY]

Didn't shead a tear at 13? Wow.

Did you interact with them much?


i was very close to my mom's dad. we would go everywhere together until he died of lung cancer. i think i was just too young to really understand. i do remember being really depressed for a while though

[Faithless]

i was very close to my mom's dad. we would go everywhere together until he died of lung cancer. i think i was just too young to really understand. i do remember being really depressed for a while though
Well, that's interesting.

I know that if my parents were to go, my 8 year old, would break down. The two year -- maybe not (out of site/out of mind).

[kimpossible]

man, that's morbid....i'd hate to have my grave already decided for me. suprise me a little...

yeah, it's a little weird to see and walk over where i'm eventually taking a dirt nap but what's weirder is knowing the name of the stranger my ashes will interred next to. he'll be to my 'left.'

if we're going to be neighbors for that long, i feel like i should get to know who he was.

[yuuteya]

I went to a funeral one time a while ago. At my granma's funeral, we put lots of flowers onto her coffin. After the quick service, then they took the whole thing over to the crematorium. We all got to see them push her coffin into the crematorium/oven. It took a few minutes for them to cremate the whole thing, coffin, flowers and body, so we all went to get some snacks and refereshments at the funeral center while they were doing that. The food was really good and it was like a small party. I ate alot. My uncles drank much and some got drunk and started fooling around, it was funny. After about an hour the attendants told us to go back. They opened the shelf and we saw the remains freshly burned to a white ash. Although theres still some big bones left standing, like the ribs and legs area. We all got some chopsticks and took some bones out and put them into a ceramic jar. Some of the bones were too big so my granpa broke them up with the chopsticks. He was smiling while he did it, so we did it too. It was kind of fun in a way, not morbid at all. Once we got all the broken up big bones into the jar, the rest was to be buried in a common grave, while the jar is kept by the family at the personal grave site. That was it. Death is no big deal really, like I mean, after you die, you cant really complain anymore can you. Which is actually a good thing. Death is bliss I guess.

[kpih]

Not exactly on the subject but I was at two cemeteries in Hong Kong to see my grandfather's graves recently. Traditionial Chinese cemetaries and graves are pretty freaky and scary compared to the Amerian cemetaries and graves. There is some sort of restfulness, tranquility and peace with American cemetaries. The whole environment is more comfortable with the grass and simple headstones. In Chinese cemetaries you have pictures of the persons buried staring at you and almost no trees at all. You have stray dogs roaming around, and sometimes when they relocate the graves the entire coffin is placed on the side of the road. It is far more morbid than American cemetaries.

Gets me thinking about how different cultures deal with the dead reflects so much about how they think about death I suppose...

[Chu Chi]

At what age do we start to understands death and the permanence of it?

I don't know.

But I know how you can find out.


You must die yourself.

Then YOU will know better than anyone can tell you.

Unlike sex, killing, breathing...you cannot share this knowledge with anyone.

It is a secret between you and the Creator of all that is known and unknown.

CC

[yuuteya]

Gets me thinking about how different cultures deal with the dead reflects so much about how they think about death I suppose...
I think the Western countries they see the world in terms of dualities, like death VS life, white VS black, good VS evil...etc... and these dualized things are totally separate and unrelated to each other.... But Buddhist Asian cultures consider things more in terms as unified, interconnected into each other, a single whole... Life IS death, death IS life, etc.. So death is totally part of life, so who cares.. Be happy now, in the present, by living and accepting death as normal, even boring, part of everyday reality.

Dont ignore death, dont pretend its not going to happen, dont shut it out, because thats unhealthy and youll end up more shocked and feeling morbid when you do experience it... Who knows, someone in this forum might die tomorrow, or even today... but so what... as long as you always live happy in the here and now, then death is no big deal. If youre truly happy when you actually die, then youve probably lived life to the fullest. Being happy with death helps us to be happy in life. Thats what my dad told me.

[Pookie_gal]

Be happy now, in the present, by living and accepting death as normal, even boring, part of everyday reality.

Dont ignore death, dont pretend its not going to happen, dont shut it out, because thats unhealthy and youll end up more shocked and feeling morbid when you do experience it... Who knows, someone in this forum might die tomorrow, or even today... but so what... as long as you always live happy in the here and now, then death is no big deal. If youre truly happy when you actually die, then youve probably lived life to the fullest. Being happy with death helps us to be happy in life. Thats what my dad told me.

Well said. That's how I live my life - live each day to the full. I'm not scared of dying, but I think my friends think I'm morbid when I start talking about what songs I want played at my funeral and stuff. Well, gotta scare them sometimes :biggrin:

[Martino]

I don't know.

But I know how you can find out.


You must die yourself.

Then YOU will know better than anyone can tell you.

Unlike sex, killing, breathing...you cannot share this knowledge with anyone.

It is a secret between you and the Creator of all that is known and unknown.

CC

Well, if you believe you will wake up in Paradise after death, it wont be that much of a secret as there will be a few billion people there already.

If there isn't a Paradise, actually dying wont tell you the secret because you'll be unconscious. You wont know that you are dead. You'll not know that you were ever alive. You wont know that you don't know. You'll be about as all knowing as a block of concrete.

Well said. That's how I live my life - live each day to the full. I'm not scared of dying, but I think my friends think I'm morbid when I start talking about what songs I want played at my funeral and stuff. Well, gotta scare them sometimes :biggrin:

I'm scared about how I might die. The terror of a heart attack, the drawn out pain of cancer ... falling to my death. And I really really really dont want to cease to exist. I like sensations and thinking and stuff.

It's only a very small consolation that death is a win-win situation: either there is an Afterlife of some sort that I can progress into, or else I'll not know otherwise.

When you think about it, death is something we all already know. Where and what were you ten months before you were conceived?

[applehead]

I went to a funeral one time a while ago. At my granma's funeral, we put lots of flowers onto her coffin. After the quick service, then they took the whole thing over to the crematorium. We all got to see them push her coffin into the crematorium/oven. It took a few minutes for them to cremate the whole thing, coffin, flowers and body, so we all went to get some snacks and refereshments at the funeral center while they were doing that. The food was really good and it was like a small party. I ate alot. My uncles drank much and some got drunk and started fooling around, it was funny. After about an hour the attendants told us to go back. They opened the shelf and we saw the remains freshly burned to a white ash. Although theres still some big bones left standing, like the ribs and legs area. We all got some chopsticks and took some bones out and put them into a ceramic jar. Some of the bones were too big so my granpa broke them up with the chopsticks. He was smiling while he did it, so we did it too. It was kind of fun in a way, not morbid at all. Once we got all the broken up big bones into the jar, the rest was to be buried in a common grave, while the jar is kept by the family at the personal grave site. That was it. Death is no big deal really, like I mean, after you die, you cant really complain anymore can you. Which is actually a good thing. Death is bliss I guess.

your story reminds me of the time
i was first exposed to death.
it was the death of my hamster, brownie (RIP).
i was in fourth grade and saved up for months
to buy him at woolworth. i forgot
about him during the summer, busy playing
outside and all, and he starved to death.
but i wasn't sad. i had fun burying him in our
backyard. my sister and i tried to find
the perfect coffin.
when i think about that morning. i get
queasy and digusted with myself. like,
i want to scratch my skin off.
i can't believe i had fun burying him.
i think it's because at that age, i didn't
know what death was.

[DragonKnight]

I'm scared about how I might die. The terror of a heart attack, the drawn out pain of cancer ... falling to my death. And I really really really dont want to cease to exist. I like sensations and thinking and stuff.

The closest thing I got to a near death experience was at an autocross when I got hit by a car on the track. Sparing you the details of how I came into such a position to being hit like that, let's just its a very surreal experience seeing a car come at you trying to stop. But you know its too late. For that one second before it hit me, I already accepted that I may die. No, that I will die. How will it feel getting dragged under the car, what will be my last sounds, sensations I will hear and feel when my end comes? I literally saw my own life flashed before my eyes. All this in one second.

That's when I jumped, smashed my hand on the side pillar of the car, smashed into the windshield, and flew over the car. I almost blacked out from the pain of my hand, hip, and right ankle being trashed. My hand was the worse as I saw my right pinky in two pieces.

But what shocked me most was being alive. Why did I jump at the last minute? Simple, I didn't want to die when that last second came to an end.

Yet, for one second I was ready to die. To put it bluntly, that was the longest f*ckin second of my life.

[Filiprish]

I think the Western countries they see the world in terms of dualities, like death VS life, white VS black, good VS evil...etc... and these dualized things are totally separate and unrelated to each other.... But Buddhist Asian cultures consider things more in terms as unified, interconnected into each other, a single whole... Life IS death, death IS life, etc.. So death is totally part of life, so who cares.. Be happy now, in the present, by living and accepting death as normal, even boring, part of everyday reality.

Dont ignore death, dont pretend its not going to happen, dont shut it out, because thats unhealthy and youll end up more shocked and feeling morbid when you do experience it... Who knows, someone in this forum might die tomorrow, or even today... but so what... as long as you always live happy in the here and now, then death is no big deal. If youre truly happy when you actually die, then youve probably lived life to the fullest. Being happy with death helps us to be happy in life. Thats what my dad told me.

Amen to that.

[Hiroshi2]

What is the defintion of death? Cause I know one boy who says that when he was born him and his mother died three times and were brought back to life three times because their heart stopped beating three times and the doctors somehow made their hearts start beating again three times, and I was like, just cause your heart stops beating doesn't mean you're dead.

[truMp]

I'm fine with death because it's a process we just have to go through.

[applehead]

I'm fine with death because it's a process we just have to go through.

yeah i'm seriously more
scared of old age and diseases.

[Martino]

yeah i'm seriously more
scared of old age and diseases.

Plane crashes. Don't forget plane crashes.

And piranha fish. Shudder

[Emperor_Mike]

I'm indifferent to death. I came to accept it at a very young age and it's not something that fazes me. But I do believe that death is only the beginning. No one can prove it, but I simply have this "feeling" that there's more to come.

[nonamerasian]

I used to be indifferent. My mom has that attitude and I think it rubbed off on me years ago. But the thought of dying makes me more and more uneasy as I get older.

On on hand I miss that attitude, but I think this new fear is beneficial.

You don't appreciate light as much when you have zero fear of darkness.

[Filiprish]

I'm indifferent to death. I came to accept it at a very young age and it's not something that fazes me. But I do believe that death is only the beginning. No one can prove it, but I simply have this "feeling" that there's more to come.
I agree. But I am fearful of potential pain, emotional and physical, resulting from death. But what if death isn't the beginning but the beginning of a beginning of a beginning of the beginning, etc? :eek:

[Emperor_Mike]

I agree. But I am fearful of potential pain, emotional and physical, resulting from death. But what if death isn't the beginning but the beginning of a beginning of a beginning of the beginning, etc? :eek:

I don't have the problem with emotional pain. I really can't describe how I actually cope with death, but suffice to say, when you don't shed tears for the recently deceased (or even have a good cry in general) people are wont to label you as cold and unemotional. I just see things differently, that's all. Maybe it's a better "understanding" of what life and death is or perhaps I'm just fooling myself in some fashion. Either way, deaths, funerals, and wakes are to be expected. They're nothing more than a handful of events to see the dearly departed off to wherever they're headed.

[Filiprish]

I don't have the problem with emotional pain. I really can't describe how I actually cope with death, but suffice to say, when you don't shed tears for the recently deceased (or even have a good cry in general) people are wont to label you as cold and unemotional. I just see things differently, that's all. Maybe it's a better "understanding" of what life and death is or perhaps I'm just fooling myself in some fashion. Either way, deaths, funerals, and wakes are to be expected. They're nothing more than a handful of events to see the dearly departed off to wherever they're headed.
Well, I actually think that death is something to look forward to, as long as you're right with God. Furthermore, part of me is happy when someone dies because I know he/she is in a better place, assuming that person was right with God. But when someone dies and you cry it's mostly because you know you're going to miss that person, you fear death and you're faced with human suffering. So, in a way, when you cry about death it's somewhat selfish. It's mostly rooted in fear. But it's okay to fear, afterall, we are only human.

[John0101]

I'm scared about how I might die. The terror of a heart attack, the drawn out pain of cancer ... falling to my death. And I really really really dont want to cease to exist. I like sensations and

it sounds like your scared of the unknown pain rather then death itself.

[kpih]

Anyone else?

Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.

[Martino]

it sounds like your scared of the unknown pain rather then death itself.

No, I'm pretty much scared of the known pain, the agonising chest crushing total terror of IMPENDING D E A T H

Did I mention falling hands first into an industrial plastic shredder?

Anyone else?

Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.

I lost my virginity in a ce--- no, never mind, off-topic.

I want to die in my sleep. Or through auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Being hit by a falling piano must be pretty painless too.

Whatja think is best - death by auto-erotic asphyxiation or piano?

[Hiroshi2]

Today I felt a little close to death..............




We was bored today (spring break) so my homeboy calls me up around 10 AM. i go down to his house with this other dude there, and we just sittin there chillin watching BET. So we was like, "man we bored as fuck, let's go buy some green." So we called up this other dude with a car, and we drove down to Tarrant City to buy some weed. On the way down there, ol' buddy with the car...................he's crazy, he was going 120 on the highway (it didn't feel like it though, felt like about 90). That wasn't the scary part though. When we came back, we were trying to pass a station wagon in the left lane (we were on the right lane). There was a tractor trailer in the lane in front of us, so we were going to try to go in between the two. We got the car up to about 105-110 mph and at the last possible second, changed lanes. I was riding shotgun, that shit felt so SCARY. Just before it happened, I was thinking, "Lord please don't let this hurt." I swear! LOL I had to smoke some weed after that shit just to calm my nerves. I'm straight now..............................but I really thought I was going to lose my life today man.



I've seen people get shot and stabbed before, but it still didn't feel as scary as that shit did today, man. Car accidents and cars in general, man.......................that's some scary shit, going fast as hell like that.

[thaite]

Hiroshi -- you so crazy, man.