Will you take your husband's last name if you get married?

[fossilfuel]

if so why? custom? commitment to marriage?

if not? feminism? the idea that married women remain individuals and equal partners?

I have no idea what the thought process is like when someone has to figure this out. Lucky guys (as usual) don't have to do anything :biggrin:

discuss

[Mr.Lum]

When I get married there will be no hyphen nonsense. She will be Mrs. Lum and I will be Mr. Lum. The Lum line must continue. I'm the only one left! LOL.

[Kris]

david-kris-ahveet-pann. i'll be damned if i have to add hyphenate my name even more. but knowing women nowadays, i'll be forced to do it :frown:

[so_fee_ahh]

I don't want my last name. I don't want his last name...maybe the hyphenated thing? No, fuck that. I don't want that either. (Wow, I don't want a lot of things here.)

Maybe I'll be cool like that...I'll just go by my first name. :wink:

[truMp]

it's my lineage!

[yoMAMA]

I always wondered what happend to non asian women when they take on their asian husband's name..........

Must be a little weird.....

[haru908]

my mom didn't, and i don't plan on it. my bf's last name is "Wang" =/

[mrazntre]

Let's modify this question:

Culturally, has there ever been any time in your life that your mom or female motherly figure instilled any type of notion to 1)take your future husbands name or 2) not take your future husbands name.

Is there any bearing to either due to cultural reasons? And of course, whatever your answer... WHY?

I always wondered what happend to non asian women when they take on their asian husband's name..........

Must be a little weird.....

I had a political science teacher that specialized in chinese studies.

Her name was Mrs. Wang and she was WHITE.

I don't want my last name. I don't want his last name...maybe the hyphenated thing? No, fuck that. I don't want that either. (Wow, I don't want a lot of things here.)

Maybe I'll be cool like that...I'll just go by my first name. :wink:

like Madonna ?

[Kuchana]

Did it, done.

Funny thing is people give me weird looks when they see my last name and then see my face. Doesn't seem to match up it seems.

[TB4000]

Did it, done.

Funny thing is people give me weird looks when they see my last name and then see my face. Doesn't seem to match up it seems.
Latina chicks be like, "girl, you got some asian in you or what?" :wink:

[Kuchana]

Latina chicks be like, "girl, you got some asian in you or what?" :wink:

LOL no I haven't gotten that yet although people do look at me funny when I'm with my mother-in-law hehe. And the UPS man the other day took a second look while I was signing for a package. He asked me what my last name was and as I told him, he laughed a little. Go figure:)

[deez nuts]

a couple of my asian friends that married non-asian women, the wife only uses her maiden name professionally.

[SunWuKong]

ok fellas, i think the question was addressed to the ladies. let's let them answer first before we weigh in our opinions.

[BigLew]

Did it, done.

Funny thing is people give me weird looks when they see my last name and then see my face. Doesn't seem to match up it seems.HAHA But didn't that happen before though? I know it happens to me.

[kimpossible]

I always wondered what happend to non asian women when they take on their asian husband's name..........

Must be a little weird.....

you rang? no, being one quarter Asian doesn't give me exemption from being non-Asian in this case.

I think I've said this before in other places, so forgive if I'm repeating. For anything joint related and official where we will be looked at as a couple or family I use my married name. It's my legal name. Part of taking his last name was tradition (mine since I'm an American but most 1.5ers or ABAs I know have done so as well). Part of it you could chalk it up to a bit of girliness. The efficient reason is that many institutions get confused if they see Asian last name and Western last name in same household.

I still use my maiden name in key areas. Education: all my degrees/certificates are in my maiden name. Professionally: it not only confuses the hell out of people if I use my married name, but I've found that I'm actually treated differently if I use my maiden name. Internationally: I keep my maiden name on my passport.

Technically, I have a Chinese name as well. I didn't see the importance of having one at the time because I figured, hey, Kim is a pretty good name for anyone to say or write but I actually have been in a situation where they couldn't process my name in anything other than written Chinese. It doesn't have any real meaning to me, it's about the same as someone referring to me by my YW handle.

Not a fan of hyphenation. For my lifestyle I've found it's more convenient to flexibly rotate names most useful to the situation at hand. Though if I ever make it to phD, I want to use my maiden name. That belongs to me. Oh, I would also use my maiden name if I want to make it obvious I'm a foreigner, like on my luggage tags.

[Emperor_Mike]

Hyphenation is great and sometimes I think whoever the settled on us being named Kovalenko-van Schoonhoven-Lee was a genius.

[DragonKnight]

I had a political science teacher that specialized in chinese studies.

Her name was Mrs. Wang and she was WHITE. Lol, same thing when I went to Diablo Valley College. Me and my friends were all thinking, "Ah, an asian last name for our East Asian Studies class...okay." Turned out she was blond, texan (accent and all), and a professor in East Asian Studies. :eek: She married a Chinese professor and took his last name. :tongue:

[BeTheReds]

Korean women don't take their husbands names.

[kasia]

Korean women don't take their husbands names.

neither do Chinese women, but they're still referred to as Mr. and Mrs. [husband's last name].

When I get married there will be no hyphen nonsense. She will be Mrs. Lum and I will be Mr. Lum. The Lum line must continue. I'm the only one left! LOL.

so what if you're the only one left? it's not like she can carry on your last name - only the children can. and what if she's the only one left too? will there be some sort of compromise?

too much male input! why don't you all let most our female members answer first before stating your own views? thanks.

[BeTheReds]

neither do Chinese women, but they're still referred to as Mr. and Mrs. [husband's last name].



Depends on if you're speaking English or not. Otherwise in situations where their full name isn't used, first names do fine, as well as calling them by their relationships.

Ex. so and so's wife, so and so's mom, etc.

Anyway sorry for too much male input.

[Mr.Lum]

so what if you're the only one left? it's not like she can carry on your last name - only the children can. and what if she's the only one left too? will there be some sort of compromise?

No compromises! Women don't carry the name anyway. She joins my family. If she's not going to take the name, then she will probably try to deprive the children of the name too. Then there will be no Lums! Patrilinial all the way!

soorrry.

[missmeow]

I saw the other thread first and posted there, so I will just repeat myself.

I am keeping my name. I like my name. I have never had any desire to change my name. I don't feel I should have to since there really isn't any logical reason to change my name other than tradition (and the traditional isn't cool imo.)

[nonamerasian]

If I take his name, I'd finally have a name I'd feel is my own.

But although I'm not fond of my first or last name, they do go incredibly well together.

I suppose I'll see when or if the time comes.

If he has a common last name and I don't feel like keeping my name as is, I'll probably opt to hyphenate rather than just keep his name.

That's one point I feel strongly about.

There are enough Jennifer Browns, Garcias, Rodriguezes, Smiths, Williams, and so on in the U.S.

[TB4000]

If I take his name, I'd finally have a name I'd feel is my own.

But although I'm not fond of my first or last name, they do go incredibly well together.

I suppose I'll see when or if the time comes.

If he has a common last name and I don't feel like keeping my name as is, I'll probably opt to hyphenate rather than just keep his name.

That's one point I feel strongly about.

There are enough Jennifer Browns, Garcias, Rodriguezes, Smiths, Williams, and so on in the U.S.
OK, cool....thanks for letting me know beforehand.

[moJo]

OK, cool....thanks for letting me know beforehand.
lol :biggrin:

i am definitely keeping my name professionally.
otherwise, i think i'll either take his (if he is chinese) or hyphenate (if he is not chinese).
i'd like to avoid funny looks.

[nifer]

will probably hyphenate my last name, but keep my maiden name for career purposes. i already have publications under my current last name

[kasia]

i probably won't. and some of my kids will take his and some will take mine.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

How many of you would rather hyphenate than keep your own last name?

(Personally, I hate hyphenation, I'd stick with separate surnames or even take my wife's surname rather than make my kids have some hyphenated name.)

[nonamerasian]

(Personally, I hate hyphenation, I'd stick with separate surnames or even take my wife's surname rather than make my kids have some hyphenated name.)

Do people often do that to their children?

I only know of that happening to one person I knew growing up and I remember everyone thinking that was odd. And she only got the hyphen after her mother remarried or divorced the her new stepfather. One or the other.

Her name changed like three times, so it's difficult to remember.

But I don't think that is normal. Even when the mother hyphenates her name. Usually the child takes one or the other.

[applehead]

How many of you would rather hyphenate than keep your own last name?

(Personally, I hate hyphenation, I'd stick with separate surnames or even take my wife's surname rather than make my kids have some hyphenated name.)

the whole hypenated name thing
is a huge mess.

[asvenus]

the whole hypenated name thing
is a huge mess.

hey hey its not that much of a mess!! i quite like my hyphenated name..it truly represents me as a hyphenated girlie...as for when i get married who knowss what will happen, although i str-ong-ly doubt i would forsake my beautiful name for any mans...if his name was really beautiful i'd consider it, i dont think i'd attempt to triple hyphenate as thats just madness!!
i havent voted...but...
if they have a western surname...HELL NO..take mine muthafukka!!
if they have a really cool non-western surname...perhaps(ish) but still take mine!!
if they have a different name with the same meaning as mine...hmmm possibly...but still take mine!!
yes i really like my surname!! :tongue:

[kasia]

the whole hypenated thing can lead to funny names if both individuals are asian.

for example...

if they're chinese:

lam-chang.
wong-tam.
au-wu.

if they're japanese:
hamamoto-tanaka.
shimakawa-kaneshiro.

if they're korean:
kim-kim.
park-oh.

if they're vietnamese:
tran-pham.
nguyen-ngoc.

funny :)

[SunWuKong]

if they're korean:
kim-kim.
park-oh.

you don't need a hyphenated surname to get a name like Kim Kim... :tongue:

if they're chinese:

lam-chang.
wong-tam.
au-wu.


how about auyeung-fung......? :biggrin:


(waiting to see if anybody gets the joke...)

[fossilfuel]

how about auyeung-fung......? :biggrin:


(waiting to see if anybody gets the joke...)

Is that a reference to the "West Poison" from the Condor Heroes books by Jin Yong?

I'm all up in that kung fu.

[applehead]

hey hey its not that much of a mess!! i quite like my hyphenated name..it truly represents me as a hyphenated girlie...as for when i get married who knowss what will happen, although i str-ong-ly doubt i would forsake my beautiful name for any mans...if his name was really beautiful i'd consider it, i dont think i'd attempt to triple hyphenate as thats just madness!!
i havent voted...but...
if they have a western surname...HELL NO..take mine muthafukka!!
if they have a really cool non-western surname...perhaps(ish) but still take mine!!
if they have a different name with the same meaning as mine...hmmm possibly...but still take mine!!
yes i really like my surname!! :tongue:

oh i meant like when your name is entered into databases
and such. people doing the data entry aren't very bright.
:biggrin:

[missmeow]

the whole hypenated thing can lead to funny names if both individuals are asian.

for example...

if they're chinese:

lam-chang.
wong-tam.
au-wu.

if they're japanese:
hamamoto-tanaka.
shimakawa-kaneshiro.

if they're korean:
kim-kim.
park-oh.

if they're vietnamese:
tran-pham.
nguyen-ngoc.

funny :)


Please explain for the language challenged?

[heykitten]

I would take my husbands last name, not as a symbolism of submission or being old fashioned. I'm just sick of people not knowing how to pronouce my last name.

[tapestrybabe]

my dad is remarried...
his wife never took
on my fathers last name...
and they are not referred as
mr and mrs (husbands last name)
but theres a definite distinction...
mr hinnen and mrs elmiger...

altho on the other hand...
when it comes to my mother...
after my parents divorced...
my mother took back her last name...
hughes... still keeping the hinnen name...
hughes-hinnen...
she does that...
when it comes to
staying connected with us kids...

anyways, when it comes to the
thoughts of marraige...
i would like to believe...
i'd still keep my last name...
and that i maybe more inclined...
to take back my korean last name...
and use kim...

[mrazntre]

I would take my husbands last name, not as a symbolism of submission or being old fashioned. I'm just sick of people not knowing how to pronouce my last name.

what if your husband's name is even harder to pronounce than yours currently?

[heykitten]

Make sure I marry someone with an easy to pronounce last name! If I happen to fall in love with a guy with an easy name to say, great. But otherwise at last resort, keep my last name.

[artsfartsyjanet]

i prefer to keep my last name. =) My bf's mom also kept her last name. so (hypothetically speaking) if we were married, he would have no problem with me keeping my last name BUT he would like the children to have his surname. I personally don't mind since it's tradition about the whole lineage thing... but then again, I do question why NOT have a female's surname as part of the lineage? or have half the children with father's last name and the other half with mother's last name? I guess it can be confusing to other people if we have to explain it to them.

[hkRT]

If it doesn't sound weird, I will like to have both my future husband and I take the hyphenated name. If it sounds weird, I will keep my last name.

[robotic]

i dont have a surname/family name ._.
when i was named, my grandparents chose two different names that were not linked to the family, sort of like three unique names. (so i choose the husband's last name! ;D)

[sOrr1ez]

It really depends, but I want to do the hyphenated last name.
I want to keep my own last name but I'd also want to take on my husband's last name too.
It's adapting korean and american tradition all together.
I keep my own name and take his also.

[bunnycutie]

the whole hypenated thing can lead to funny names if both individuals are asian.

for example...

if they're chinese:

lam-chang.
wong-tam.
au-wu.

if they're japanese:
hamamoto-tanaka.
shimakawa-kaneshiro.

if they're korean:
kim-kim.
park-oh.

if they're vietnamese:
tran-pham.
nguyen-ngoc.

funny :)

I actually like my hyphenated name. It's half vietnamese, half chinese:

Nguyen-Hwang

But of course, when people make references to us as a married couple, it's much easier to just go with Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen. My official hyphenated maiden name is more like a tribute to my heritage. :smile:

[relus]

I dont think it makes sense to take the husbands last name.. what if you both divorce or he dies or something.. just not practical :P