View Full Version : Has a lady ever rejected you because of your race?
Cipherous
10-27-2004, 12:07 AM
I keep hearing about it?
Has anybody ever got "sorry lil man but I don't think I ordered Chinese"?
OOOOOOOUCCCCHHH!!
truMp
10-27-2004, 12:23 AM
oooo dayum that's harsh
deez nuts
10-27-2004, 06:26 AM
Has anybody ever got "sorry lil man but I don't think I ordered Chinese"?
hahahaha that's funny.
Banana
10-27-2004, 08:39 AM
I don't think that any woman these days are that crass to say something about your race outright. I'm more inclined to believe that they'll reject you because of your race but won't tell it to your face since the "in" thing these days is not to sound like a racist ass-hat. This only applies to non-Asian minorities.
However, since the general consensus is that Asians (Asian guys in particular) don't face racism or is ok to make fun of them; there is a higher probability that they will mock your race right in front of you.
SunWuKong
10-27-2004, 09:58 AM
that i know of, only once - by a Taiwanese American girl. some white girls might have rejected me because I'm Asian, but i never found out about it.
BigLew
10-27-2004, 11:01 AM
Never, I am too damn pretty. When you're this damn pretty it don't matter what color you are!
so_fee_ahh
10-27-2004, 02:53 PM
Never, I am too damn pretty. When you're this damn pretty it don't matter what color you are!
That's how you work it now!!!!! :wink:
Mr.Lum
10-27-2004, 03:45 PM
No.
VV o n g B a
10-27-2004, 04:16 PM
i'm friends w/ a white girl who said she wasn't into asian guys but thought i was cute and introduced me to a friend of hers (she was asian obviously but i wasn't complaining cuz i don't get to meet all that many girls). i was never offended prolly cuz i wasn't attracted to her but she did end up living w/ and dating an asian guy for awhile.
stunninglyAsian
10-27-2004, 07:15 PM
Any girl? Or just non-Asians?
I don't know if the guys on YW are like this, but most Asian guys I know tend to stick with Asian girls, so race is very rarely an issue.
It is kind of funny though, there is all this talk about "the curse of the Asian man" (Reverse the Curse!) and so far, only one person who replied has been rejected due to race. And this was by an Asian girl. When I first saw this thread I was expecting tale after tale of "I don't date Chinese guys".
I've been rejected for many reasons, but never for race. But then again, all the girls Asian and were part of the Asian social clique. Up until now, I really haven't been venturing out of the Asian clique.
Any girl? Or just non-Asians?
I don't know if the guys on YW are like this, but most Asian guys I know tend to stick with Asian girls, so race is very rarely an issue.
It is kind of funny though, there is all this talk about "the curse of the Asian man" (Reverse the Curse!) and so far, only one person who replied has been rejected due to race. And this was by an Asian girl. When I first saw this thread I was expecting tale after tale of "I don't date Chinese guys".
I've been rejected for many reasons, but never for race. But then again, all the girls Asian and were part of the Asian social clique. Up until now, I really haven't been venturing out of the Asian clique.
maybe it's time for you to wander on over to the anime clique
hooligan
10-27-2004, 07:33 PM
she was all, "you've got a small pee pee." and i cried.
thaite
10-27-2004, 07:58 PM
I dunno, I probably have at some time or another.
But given the community i went to school in, I'm not sure wether that it was because I'm Asian that I was rejected, or whether it's because I'm not White.
yes. it was real sad. she said i looked like a terrorist. yup, that's right a fucken osama bin laden. damn her patriotic ass.
Emperor_Mike
10-28-2004, 03:21 AM
And lived to tell the tale? Never.
PropellerheadCP
10-28-2004, 05:17 AM
Yeah, I've been rejected because of my race; more often than I can really endure. Mostly by Asian women. Non-Asian girls like me. Sometimes not for the right reasons, though.
Cipherous
10-28-2004, 05:57 AM
I've always wonder how the asian women who don't asian guys would react when a white guy goes I don't date Asian women. The irony.
Deadpool
10-28-2004, 08:27 AM
Its easier for a female of X race to say those things simply because they are the same race. If its a lady of a different race, then its a different story; if she rejected you because of race or if she is a rascist you probably wouldn't know about it becauase we live in a very image concious society. Better to look PC than to be accused of being a racist.
Banana
10-28-2004, 08:33 AM
Its easier for a female of X race to say those things simply because they are the same race. If its a lady of a different race, then its a different story; if she rejected you because of race or if she is a rascist you probably wouldn't know about it becauase we live in a very image concious society. Better to look PC than to be accused of being a racist.
That's what I'm saying. Out of all the minority guys that got rejected, I'm willing to bet that race was a factor for often than not but they might give you some other excuse. You might never know but given my view on people and how society views Asians and Asian Americans, I think it happens very often.
As to the other person that posted about the "Asian Male Curse," that "curse" isn't about non-Asian women rejecting Asian guys; it was about the ratio of Asian women/any other women saying they don't date their own kind.
Its easier for a female of X race to say those things simply because they are the same race.
though theyll be termed a sell out by their own people.
stunninglyAsian
10-28-2004, 08:57 AM
As to the other person that posted about the "Asian Male Curse," that "curse" isn't about non-Asian women rejecting Asian guys; it was about the ratio of Asian women/any other women saying they don't date their own kind.
Well I was kind of linking it to that curse of the Asian male thread- that guy's manifesto rants and raves about how NO woman would want to date an Asian male. And I think a lot of Asian males believe this up to a point- that guy takes it up a notch... just ever so slightly. I know lots of Asian guys who may drool over a white girl but will go after the Asian girl because they assume they have no chance with the non-Asian.
Its easier for a female of X race to say those things simply because they are the same race. If its a lady of a different race, then its a different story; if she rejected you because of race or if she is a rascist you probably wouldn't know about it becauase we live in a very image concious society. Better to look PC than to be accused of being a racist.
You know what would look even more PC? To go ahead and date the guy.
SunWuKong
10-28-2004, 09:29 AM
Well I was kind of linking it to that curse of the Asian male thread- that guy's manifesto rants and raves about how NO woman would want to date an Asian male. And I think a lot of Asian males believe this up to a point- that guy takes it up a notch... just ever so slightly. I know lots of Asian guys who may drool over a white girl but will go after the Asian girl because they assume they have no chance with the non-Asian.
actually i would feel bolder going after non-Asian girls, because i think i care less whether or not i'm rejected by them.
so_fee_ahh
10-28-2004, 09:35 AM
actually i would feel bolder going after non-Asian girls, because i think i care less whether or not i'm rejected by them.
What do you mean? Like, you just go after them to see what their response would be...like just for the fun of it? I don't understand...so it'd hurt more for an Asian chick to reject your or what.
I wonder...what's worse to a guy? Getting rejected by a white or an Asian female...
Banana
10-28-2004, 10:43 AM
StunninglyAsian, don't get me wrong. I still think that the majority of non-Asian women won't date an Asian guy. It's just the nature of the US for them to think Asian men are just the opposite of what they've been brought up to find attractive. I've come to terms with it and opted to stay away from non-Asian girls.
fossilfuel
10-28-2004, 10:48 AM
No girl has ever been so straightforward as to say that race was why they wouldn't go out with me, although I'm sure it has happened a few times.
However, I think too many guys (Asian guys in particular) use race as a cop-out to mask their own deficiencies...
Instead of saying that they are too nerdy, too short, too ugly, too skinny, too fat, too boring, too self-involved, too socially inept, or their breath smells like poo, they just say that the girl rejected them cause they were Asian.
It's probably easier to categorize the rejection as a broad rejection (like saying she doesn't like me, she must be a lesbian or a sell-out) then to attribute it to your own flaws.
- This is not to discount the negative portrayals of the media or whatever, I just think it's a very negative, self-defeating attitude to continually have.
SunWuKong
10-28-2004, 10:49 AM
StunninglyAsian, don't get me wrong. I still think that the majority of non-Asian women won't date an Asian guy. It's just the nature of the US for them to think Asian men are just the opposite of what they've been brought up to find attractive. I've come to terms with it and opted to stay away from non-Asian girls.
i tend to think the opposite, that most non-Asian women, or at least the ones that live in urban areas, would be open to dating Asian guys.
BigLew
10-28-2004, 11:10 AM
i tend to think the opposite, that most non-Asian women, or at least the ones that live in urban areas, would be open to dating Asian guys.Gotta agree.
That's what I'm saying. Out of all the minority guys that got rejected, I'm willing to bet that race was a factor for often than not but they might give you some other excuse. You might never know but given my view on people and how society views Asians and Asian Americans, I think it happens very often.
As to the other person that posted about the "Asian Male Curse," that "curse" isn't about non-Asian women rejecting Asian guys; it was about the ratio of Asian women/any other women saying they don't date their own kind.See this is the kind of thinking I wish people would let go of. Of all the non asian women I have been with (which is all but 1) they said that they realy couldn't ever remember an asian guy talking to them. You gotta think numbers. In an average white womans day lets say she will encounter an asian guy maybe once out of every 10 guys she meets (optomistic) now of those 1 out of ten asian guys how many do you think actually try to hit or pick up on her? And of those few who do actually hit on her how many will approach her like a clown and say something dumb (this is 85% of men anyway).
Instead of saying that they are too nerdy, too short, too ugly, too skinny, too fat, too boring, too self-involved, too socially inept, or their breath smells like poo, they just say that the girl rejected them cause they were Asian.
take away too fat and breath smells like poo (maybe) and you'll have the basic stereotype of an asian man. banana probably thinks hes struck out before ever reaching the plate. i dont agree with him ignoring nonasian women but i can see where hes coming from.
Deadpool
10-28-2004, 06:32 PM
However, I think too many guys (Asian guys in particular) use race as a cop-out to mask their own deficiencies...
I agree with this point but i disagree also. Race can be deficiency.
Try pulling that line off to black people pre-civil rights movement.
Well my point is race relations has only progressed by little IMO.
Nowadays you aren't accepted by the majority, only tolerated.
Cipherous
10-28-2004, 06:50 PM
I wonder...what's worse to a guy? Getting rejected by a white or an Asian female...
probanly asian for me.
whats worse getting rejected by a white dude or an asian dude?
fossilfuel
10-28-2004, 06:54 PM
Well I thought I conceded that race COULD be a factor and it can be a deficiency. My problem is when it's the ONLY factor that guys are fixated on, thinking it is dispositive and no other factors can come into play.
I have known a few times where a friend will get rejected by a girl and say "oh, she's not into Asian guys". Fast forward a few days/weeks/years and that girl will be going out with an Asian guy.
Either way, if you believe that your race will preclude you from having any chance with a girl, you will have "struck out before you've reached the plate" as someone eloquently put it.
Is the situation analagous to black men saying that every time they didn't get a job it was because of their race?
I think so, sometimes the employer really is racist - other times they might just not be qualified or a correct fit for the job.
Mr.Lum
10-28-2004, 07:07 PM
Come to think of it there was one time. I wasn't rejected by her though. I was her brother. I was seeing a white girl. Her brother was an aquaintance of mine, I didn't know him that well though. He kept making shit up about me and telling her all these crazy ass things. He was a fucking Iago, I swear. He told her something about me doing some drunk girl in the ass (1. drunk girl=nasty 2. drunk girl in the ass=nasty as hell) and that just about ended that.
golden_buns
10-28-2004, 07:17 PM
Well I thought I conceded that race COULD be a factor and it can be a deficiency. My problem is when it's the ONLY factor that guys are fixated on, thinking it is dispositive and no other factors can come into play.
I have known a few times where a friend will get rejected by a girl and say "oh, she's not into Asian guys". Fast forward a few days/weeks/years and that girl will be going out with an Asian guy.
Either way, if you believe that your race will preclude you from having any chance with a girl, you will have "struck out before you've reached the plate" as someone eloquently put it.
Yeah, i totaly agree with you on that one. I've noticed that some guys are too fixated on the race issue, when in fact the rejection might have come because of something else.
Cipherous
10-28-2004, 07:26 PM
Come to think of it there was one time. I wasn't rejected by her though. I was her brother.
well, instead of just saying I don't asian guys...if I was your sister, I'd just go right out and say that I don't usually date my siblings...but thats just me.
:wink:
Mr.Lum
10-28-2004, 07:26 PM
well, instead of just saying I don't asian guys...if I was your sister, I'd just go right out and say that I don't usually date my siblings...but thats just me.
Well, no, it was more that he didn't like it and sabotaged it. He had all sorts of stories about how I like white girls because they gave "status" or whatever.
well, instead of just saying I don't date asian guys...if I was your sister, I'd just go right out and say that I don't usually date my siblings...but thats just me.
:wink:
:eek:
so_fee_ahh
10-28-2004, 07:59 PM
probanly asian for me.
whats worse getting rejected by a white dude or an asian dude?
Rejection just sucks all out. Period. (Why's it worse getting rejected by an Asian chick anyway?)
Hey Cipherous, you from UMBC? I heard you guys throw mad crazy ass parties! :biggrin: Get a girl drunk and you'll never get rejected...slip a Roofie and bam...you in.
Not.
asian people are easy. therfore if you cant get one. you must be one ugly mofo. j/k j/k j/k :tongue:
hooligan
10-28-2004, 08:23 PM
Not.funny?
Cipherous
10-28-2004, 08:39 PM
Come to think of it there was one time. I wasn't rejected by her though. I was her brother.
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
stunninglyAsian
10-28-2004, 11:21 PM
StunninglyAsian, don't get me wrong. I still think that the majority of non-Asian women won't date an Asian guy. It's just the nature of the US for them to think Asian men are just the opposite of what they've been brought up to find attractive. I've come to terms with it and opted to stay away from non-Asian girls.
I understand where you're coming from and I've felt like that too. I used to think that until some experiences recently. You have to pick your battles. If you act all uptight thinking that you have no chance, you will not make a good impression. So you're down on looks, then you have got to make it up in personality. But I think it is possible. Well, I have to believe in that because there are no Asians where I live.
Obviously if you're going after some sorority princess who swears by A&F fashion and her idea of ethnic food is Applebee's Mandarin Orange Asian Chicken Salad... you're fucked. And not the good way. On the other hand, if she's studied abroad, loves Indian food, has a weakness for Turkish coffee, and is willing to try out new things, then I'd say you have a pretty damn good chance. But you never know unless you talk to them.
By the way, figuring out what kind of food a non-Asian girl likes is a quick test to see how open-minded, (how willing she is to date outside her race) she is. The more ethnic foods she likes, the better off you are. That's my little observation I've noticed.
YuheiCarreau
10-28-2004, 11:40 PM
By the way, figuring out what kind of food a non-Asian girl likes is a quick test to see how open-minded, (how willing she is to date outside her race) she is. The more ethnic foods she likes, the better off you are. That's my little observation I've noticed.
Right... 'Cause the last thing you want is a lady who's picky about what she puts in her mouth.
Craig
10-29-2004, 12:33 AM
Isn't it pretty obvious just by getting to know the girl whether or not she will reject somebody because they are of race (or ethnicity) XYZ ? I would think that sort of acts as an effective filtering criteria in not choosing girls that will reject you for being Asian. Personally, I can't recall being rejected for being Asian (although some of my guy friends have told me otherwise). I do recall the roommate of a girl (that I was chasing after) telling me that I was rejected for being too short.
Deadpool
10-29-2004, 01:10 AM
Right... 'Cause the last thing you want is a lady who's picky about what she puts in her mouth.
LoL.
A taste for egg roll and dumplings is a must.
Mr.Lum
10-29-2004, 03:29 AM
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
IT.
hooligan
10-29-2004, 08:44 AM
I understand where you're coming from and I've felt like that too. I used to think that until some experiences recently. You have to pick your battles. If you act all uptight thinking that you have no chance, you will not make a good impression. So you're down on looks, then you have got to make it up in personality. But I think it is possible. Well, I have to believe in that because there are no Asians where I live.
Obviously if you're going after some sorority princess who swears by A&F fashion and her idea of ethnic food is Applebee's Mandarin Orange Asian Chicken Salad... you're fucked. And not the good way. On the other hand, if she's studied abroad, loves Indian food, has a weakness for Turkish coffee, and is willing to try out new things, then I'd say you have a pretty damn good chance. But you never know unless you talk to them.
By the way, figuring out what kind of food a non-Asian girl likes is a quick test to see how open-minded, (how willing she is to date outside her race) she is. The more ethnic foods she likes, the better off you are. That's my little observation I've noticed.
I don't think you can equate openmindedness with someone you'd like to date. I'd be more worried about fetishization if that were the case. And....... on the other hand, if you're going to generalize like this, someone who's opened to traveling and culture won't always mean that they're open to dating someone of that culture.
people travel, tourists visit other countries doesn't mean that they'll be dating any of us.
SunWuKong
10-29-2004, 08:57 AM
Obviously if you're going after some sorority princess who swears by A&F fashion and her idea of ethnic food is Applebee's Mandarin Orange Asian Chicken Salad... you're fucked. And not the good way. On the other hand, if she's studied abroad, loves Indian food, has a weakness for Turkish coffee, and is willing to try out new things, then I'd say you have a pretty damn good chance. But you never know unless you talk to them.
actually i don't know about the sorority princess part. you may have a better chance with a girl who has more international and/or diverse tastes and experiences, but just because your idea of ethnic food is Applebee's Mandarin Orange Asian Chicken Salad, to me, that doesn't mean people like that are especially more likely to reject an Asian guy based on race.
(well, i have read that at some very greek-heavy schools, sorority sisters are pretty much expected to date fraternity guys. but not all schools are like that, i know my school wasn't like that.)
deez nuts
10-29-2004, 09:28 AM
Rejection just sucks all out. Period. (Why's it worse getting rejected by an Asian chick anyway?)
Hey Cipherous, you from UMBC? I heard you guys throw mad crazy ass parties! :biggrin: Get a girl drunk and you'll never get rejected...slip a Roofie and bam...you in.
Not.
does it come with the pool table room with the one way mirror too?
Banana
10-29-2004, 09:57 AM
To the person that brought up the idea of the black guy blaming his race for getting rejected for a job; how often would you say it's actually true? We all know that the glass ceiling exists and is extremely prevalent. Also, there is a known problem that blacks looking for jobs are the "last ones hired, first ones fired."
If this is the case, what makes anyone think that most of non-Asian women are willing to give Asian guys a chance? My main point is that you'll never know if her decision is based on race just like it's extremely hard to prove that the glass ceiling exists. You'll never know and based on just my perception of whites in his country, I stick by my view of their ideas on dating.
It doesn't mean I'm bitter or anything but rather than deal with all these questions on if a rejection was race related, I would just choose to stick with Asians.
SunWuKong
10-29-2004, 10:31 AM
To the person that brought up the idea of the black guy blaming his race for getting rejected for a job; how often would you say it's actually true? We all know that the glass ceiling exists and is extremely prevalent. Also, there is a known problem that blacks looking for jobs are the "last ones hired, first ones fired."
likewise, couldn't you also ask what of you said in the last sentence: how often would you say it's actually true?
If this is the case, what makes anyone think that most of non-Asian women are willing to give Asian guys a chance? My main point is that you'll never know if her decision is based on race just like it's extremely hard to prove that the glass ceiling exists. You'll never know and based on just my perception of whites in his country, I stick by my view of their ideas on dating.
huh? it's pretty easy to show that the glass ceiling exists. just take a look at the census. look at how much people from each race is paid for the same jobs, and what type of jobs people from different races have. you'd see that white men are overrepresented in executive level positions, and that women and minorities are not paid as much as white men are, for doing the same jobs.
at any rate, you're right that you'll never know if a rejection is based on race or not. but i'm just speaking from personal experience in saying that most non-Asian women would be willing to date Asian guys. and if anything, a lot of white people are afraid of being viewed as racist, so they go out of their way to make sure nothing is seemed as racial in their interaction with you, to the point that it's like taboo for them to even mention race - which is sometimes annoying to me.
Cipherous
10-29-2004, 10:34 AM
IT.
I know, I was just fucking with ya
BigLew
10-29-2004, 10:49 AM
If this is the case, what makes anyone think that most of non-Asian women are willing to give Asian guys a chance?Personal experience, in several different parts of the country.
kimpossible
10-29-2004, 11:38 AM
I don't think you can equate openmindedness with someone you'd like to date. I'd be more worried about fetishization if that were the case. And....... on the other hand, if you're going to generalize like this, someone who's opened to traveling and culture won't always mean that they're open to dating someone of that culture.
people travel, tourists visit other countries doesn't mean that they'll be dating any of us.
karma for you
Banana
10-29-2004, 11:45 AM
likewise, couldn't you also ask what of you said in the last sentence: how often would you say it's actually true?
It happens pretty often to blacks, I think, which would prove my point that it is far more likely a non-Asian girl will date an Asian guy, no?
huh? it's pretty easy to show that the glass ceiling exists. just take a look at the census. look at how much people from each race is paid for the same jobs, and what type of jobs people from different races have. you'd see that white men are overrepresented in executive level positions, and that women and minorities are not paid as much as white men are, for doing the same jobs.
at any rate, you're right that you'll never know if a rejection is based on race or not. but i'm just speaking from personal experience in saying that most non-Asian women would be willing to date Asian guys. and if anything, a lot of white people are afraid of being viewed as racist, so they go out of their way to make sure nothing is seemed as racial in their interaction with you, to the point that it's like taboo for them to even mention race - which is sometimes annoying to me.
For this point, I was actually talking about an individual basis. It's much harder to prove that one specific individual has been passed over for a promotion at a specific job than it being a widespread issue. In my personal experience, it seems that non-Asian women will see Asian guys are friends, not romantic opportunities.
fossilfuel
10-29-2004, 12:26 PM
In my personal experience, it seems that non-Asian women will see Asian guys are friends, not romantic opportunities.
So, if a trend is going a certain way counter to your interests, it's better to accept the trend than actually do something about it?
The net cost of asking someone out and getting rejected is only ego. Guys need to be a little more thick skinned than that :P
SunWuKong
10-29-2004, 12:36 PM
It happens pretty often to blacks, I think, which would prove my point that it is far more likely a non-Asian girl will date an Asian guy, no?
come now, that's like comparing apples and oranges. it's kind of far-fetched.
what is your personal experience? if you don't know whether non-Asian girls are rejecting Asian guys in your peer groups because of race, aren't you basically making assumptions on the negative side?
Banana
10-29-2004, 02:02 PM
I thought it was like comparing apples to oranges but I wasn't the one that brought that into the discussion in the first place. I was replying to someone else.
My personal experience varies a bit. Personally, I've been really "close" to some white girls and they haven't been shy about expressing the idea that they date Asian guys. However, out of my combined experiences with both mine and others (relatives and friends), the general consensus is that more often than not, white or non-Asian women only see Asian guys as friends, not romantic interests. We're typically viewed as the "cute" friend to talk to, not the "hot" man they want to manhandle them.
And no, my friends and cousins are not ugly, short, stupid, smelly, or the general stereotypical Asian guy we see on TV. To make a long story short, combined with my sheer pessimism towards the attitudes of people and what I see and hear from others, I find it difficult to believe that "most" white or non-Asian would go out with an Asian guy.
Now, it might not be that they don't find an Asian guy attractive but it could be for other reasons that are racially related. Parents are racist, stereotypes, etc.
By the way, this doesn't mean I'm not a confident individual. It just means that I don't give people credit since I don't view the population at large as a group of people that will inherently do something that goes against cultural norms or expectations.
Cipherous
10-29-2004, 02:07 PM
Rejection just sucks all out. Period. (Why's it worse getting rejected by an Asian chick anyway?)
Hey Cipherous, you from UMBC? I heard you guys throw mad crazy ass parties! :biggrin: Get a girl drunk and you'll never get rejected...slip a Roofie and bam...you in.
Not.
I went to UMCP, parties were ok and I was buff back then :)
the good ole days
Asian is probably worse just cause I'd have alot more confidence sweet talking to an asian chick moreso than a white chick. I dunno...
BigLew
10-29-2004, 02:12 PM
In my personal experience, it seems that non-Asian women will see Asian guys are friends, not romantic opportunities.Maybe it's because they guys don't try to hit on them or like some other people at YW make the mistake of tryting to become thier "friend" before trying to date them.
SunWuKong
10-29-2004, 02:32 PM
My personal experience varies a bit. Personally, I've been really "close" to some white girls and they haven't been shy about expressing the idea that they date Asian guys. However, out of my combined experiences with both mine and others (relatives and friends), the general consensus is that more often than not, white or non-Asian women only see Asian guys as friends, not romantic interests. We're typically viewed as the "cute" friend to talk to, not the "hot" man they want to manhandle them.
well now i see what the problem is. obviously you and your friends are not enough of chauvinistic pigs! :biggrin:
Banana
10-29-2004, 02:43 PM
I would like to add another point which is that I have plenty of white male and female friends that do the work of "spying" for me. As a matter of fact, most of my friends are non-Asian.
These white females/males that I know understand much of my view on Asian American issues and they've shown reaction to it. Anyway, what I do is I have them "infiltrate" all-white gatherings; both liberial and conservative. In order to get a more "honest" answer, I have whites ask other whites questions that they would normally not answer honestly if the person asking them was non-Asian.
And let me tell you, shit comes out and I live in a very diverse area so I can't imagine what it's like in other rural areas. From what they say, racist remarks come out from time to time but most of the remarks are just snide and stereotypical. As for the white females, well, that was the answer they gave me.
"Asian guys are nice to be friends with but I just don't view them as a guy I'd really go after. If one asked me out, there are many things I would consider before I even think about responding yes. Since I'm stuck there and he's waiting for an answer, I'd usually say no instead of standing there like an idiot."
That was their typical answer. You're right, not obviously out of looks 100% of the time. Many of her friends are openminded but they just don't really view Asian guys are "hot."
I don't disagree with you guys when you say that non-Asian women find Asian guys attractive but the part I disagree with is that you guys said that "most" white women are open to dating Asian guys. It's more like "some." A very few "some."
But hey, I'm not bitter nor am I angry but I accept realistic situations and stick with Asian ladies.
mrazntre
10-29-2004, 07:20 PM
Asian is probably worse just cause I'd have alot more confidence sweet talking to an asian chick moreso than a white chick. I dunno...
I don't think I could even bring myself to sweet talk a white chick. :rolleyes:
I'm pretty sure I've been rejected cuz of my race or whatever but for the most part I don't know if was the real reason. It coulda been cuz i'm ugly, short, skinny, goofy, nerdy, geeky, it just goes on and on. *shrug*
I've been rejected by normal asian chix cuz of how I talk and dress. Does that count?
My personal experience varies a bit. Personally, I've been really "close" to some white girls and they haven't been shy about expressing the idea that they date Asian guys. However, out of my combined experiences with both mine and others (relatives and friends), the general consensus is that more often than not, white or non-Asian women only see Asian guys as friends, not romantic interests. We're typically viewed as the "cute" friend to talk to, not the "hot" man they want to manhandle them.
:confused:
why would you wanna date'em anyhow?
But hey, I'm not bitter nor am I angry but I accept realistic situations and stick with Asian ladies.
What's that supposed to mean? You're phrasing your sentence to suggest that asian women are in the lower echelon of females.
I doubt that they'll appreciate that! It's all good, more for me! :biggrin:
I love ALL you asian ladies. :wink:
COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!
stunninglyAsian
10-29-2004, 08:34 PM
I don't think you can equate openmindedness with someone you'd like to date. I'd be more worried about fetishization if that were the case. And....... on the other hand, if you're going to generalize like this, someone who's opened to traveling and culture won't always mean that they're open to dating someone of that culture.
people travel, tourists visit other countries doesn't mean that they'll be dating any of us.
You have to admit we are a left-field choice for most, so the woman should be open to the idea. It's just my experience that people who are more open or exposed to different cultures are easier to get along with. Obviously these qualities don't translate to ideal dating material, but it can make things easier for us. For example, one of my mom's friends travels all over the world and doesn't stick to the touristy stuff. She enjoys seeing the real Italy, France, etc. So she's fine hanging out people different than her, weird foreign accents, cultural practices she's not used to, and different food. She may not like everything she sees, but at least she'll respect it and not make fun of it in front of everybody. I just want to be seen as another person. If the girl respects your differences, then at least you're not playing at a disadvantage- you have the same chances as anybody else.
I don't like very conservative people who stick to one thing and are unwilling to try anything new, so I guess an open mind would be something I would look for in a girl. I don't want to have to deal with a non-Asian girl that insults me and my culture and tells me to act "normal" or else. And this goes for Asians too. You know how racist and close-minded we can be sometimes, I don't want to be stuck in a very Korean culture and dismiss anything not Korean.
Cipherous
10-29-2004, 09:06 PM
I don't think I could even bring myself to sweet talk a white chick. :rolleyes:
so would that mean that you're more attracted to full blooded asians moreso than hapas?
as for hapas, I think I would still have more luck with full blooded asians.
jjlee3dson
10-29-2004, 09:31 PM
[QUOTE=stunninglyAsian]You have to admit we are a left-field choice for most, so the woman should be open to the idea. It's just my experience that people who are more open or exposed to different cultures are easier to get along with.
Must be my apparent age difference from the majority of the writers in this forum but I recall a time when more often than not my being Asian was a major barrier to taking a relationship to a higher/more intense level. (Where are you now, Barbara Schwartz?) As the US became more comfortable with its own (urban) racial/cultural diversity my being Asian became less and less an issue. But I still LOL when I recount the time an Asian coed I was dating commented I wans't like all the other Asian guys! Apparently, I was the first Asian guy she slept with and on the first date as well. The irony was she wasn't like the other Asian women I'd been dating either!
I guess if you're destined to hit it off you will-the others will find some excuse or other to reject you- be it your epicanthic fold or some other trait.
And for all those women (Asian and non) who did accept me for whatever reason-a sincere thank you for sharing time laughter and experience.
Love the one you're with...
mrazntre
10-30-2004, 02:46 AM
so would that mean that you're more attracted to full blooded asians moreso than hapas?
as for hapas, I think I would still have more luck with full blooded asians.
i uhh.. plead the 5th.
Maybe it's because the guys don't try to hit on them or like some other people at YW make the mistake of tryting to become thier "friend" before trying to date them.
reminds me of my cousin who started going to church because of a girl he liked. they started becoming really "close" friends. when he told her he liked her, guess what she said "I see you as a friend" hahha. serves the bastard right. using christ to get some ass :tongue:
hooligan
10-30-2004, 08:27 AM
reminds me of my cousin who started going to church because of a girl he liked. they started becoming really "close" friends. when he told her he liked her, guess what she said "I see you as a friend" hahha. serves the bastard right. using christ to get some ass :tongue:
i'd do it.
i'd do it.
so would i :biggrin:
so_fee_ahh
10-30-2004, 09:36 AM
Shame on you folks.
The Lord sees everything. :mad:
TB4000
10-30-2004, 09:50 AM
On the whole friend angle...most people claim that you have to become friends with someone you're interested in first before you can even think about having a chance, though the double edged sword is like you mentioned, you may become such good friends that he/she only thinks of you in that way. The dating world, she is a confusing mistress, no?
kimpossible
10-30-2004, 01:36 PM
using christ to get some ass :tongue:
lol
Irezumi Kiss
10-30-2004, 03:00 PM
using christ to get some ass :tongue:
He's the one what told us to be fruitful and multiply over the Earth, now t'weren't He? :biggrin:
mrazntre
10-31-2004, 01:27 AM
Shame on you folks.
The Lord sees everything. :mad:
*whistles*
Ahhh yessss, this is what I was looking for...*reads* so_fee_ahh
"I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints...and then I smoke two more.
[Legalize it, don't criticize it.
Legalize it, and I will advertise it.]"
On the whole friend angle...most people claim that you have to become friends with someone you're interested in first before you can even think about having a chance, though the double edged sword is like you mentioned, you may become such good friends that he/she only thinks of you in that way. The dating world, she is a confusing mistress, no?
uhhh... who are these people? That's the best way to end up in the friend zone. the DREADED friend zone..!
I get there a lot and it's NOT fun. :mad:
[QUOTE=stunninglyAsian]You have to admit we are a left-field choice for most, so the woman should be open to the idea. It's just my experience that people who are more open or exposed to different cultures are easier to get along with.
Must be my apparent age difference from the majority of the writers in this forum but I recall a time when more often than not my being Asian was a major barrier to taking a relationship to a higher/more intense level. (Where are you now, Barbara Schwartz?) As the US became more comfortable with its own (urban) racial/cultural diversity my being Asian became less and less an issue. But I still LOL when I recount the time an Asian coed I was dating commented I wans't like all the other Asian guys! Apparently, I was the first Asian guy she slept with and on the first date as well. The irony was she wasn't like the other Asian women I'd been dating either!
I guess if you're destined to hit it off you will-the others will find some excuse or other to reject you- be it your epicanthic fold or some other trait.
And for all those women (Asian and non) who did accept me for whatever reason-a sincere thank you for sharing time laughter and experience.
Love the one you're with...
I think that those times that you speak of where interracial coupling was taboo, ultimately making the possibility of AM/WF nonexistent is what we younger generation deal with as a residual affect.
So, whereas you were at about 100% taboo, we're now at about 98%.
fossilfuel
10-31-2004, 06:57 AM
The friend thing can work -But - don't fall into the trap of becoming a real friend - like doing all the womanly stuff she wished her boyfriend did. Going to the mall, taking her to IKEA, watching Sex and the City, etc... make your intentions known from early on and keep with the innuendos, if she is not comfortable with that, then move on, or become a real friend. Also, never ever let them talk to you about their relationship or other guys. that will KILL your chances. if you do, you are the shoulder to :'( on.
it comes in handy when someone is already in a relationship and you are just circling like a vulture for the inevitable break up, where you swoop in and become Rebound Guy
hmm, how can i make this relevant to this thread... i guess it works with women of all races? they know you're not a freak if they know you for a little bit. you cease to be a stereotype and become a person
so_fee_ahh
10-31-2004, 06:58 AM
*whistles*
Ahhh yessss, this is what I was looking for...*reads* so_fee_ahh
"I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints...and then I smoke two more.
[Legalize it, don't criticize it.
Legalize it, and I will advertise it.]"
But that's different...these guys go TO CHUCH (the Lord's turf) to pick up some chicks.
I don't go to church when I'm high or anything.
Panda bear, stop trying to be so cute. :mad:
asvenus
10-31-2004, 08:22 AM
wow i love the way that even though this site is supposed to be 'empowering' Asian Americans, 9 times out of 10 all it seems to do is center around white people and getting them either in or out of your face..way progressive..yeaha!! *sighs*
Cipherous
10-31-2004, 08:47 AM
wow i love the way that even though this site is supposed to be 'empowering' Asian Americans, 9 times out of 10 all it seems to do is center around white people and getting them either in or out of your face..way progressive..yeaha!! *sighs*
cause white people kick ass!!!!
fossilfuel
10-31-2004, 08:52 AM
wow i love the way that even though this site is supposed to be 'empowering' Asian Americans, 9 times out of 10 all it seems to do is center around white people and getting them either in or out of your face..way progressive..yeaha!! *sighs*
unfortunately that's what happens when we live in a white majority - gotta deal with them :P
the other option is to ignore them and live in our own little reality - which we've tried for a hundred years or so, and look where that's gotten us
mrazntre
10-31-2004, 11:47 AM
unfortunately that's what happens when we live in a white majority - gotta deal with them :P
the other option is to ignore them and live in our own little reality - which we've tried for a hundred years or so, and look where that's gotten us
*sigh*
so true, so true.
DragonKnight
10-31-2004, 11:52 AM
wow i love the way that even though this site is supposed to be 'empowering' Asian Americans, 9 times out of 10 all it seems to do is center around white people and getting them either in or out of your face..way progressive..yeaha!! *sighs* Puck dat! Asian is beautiful gawddammit!
aZn pRyDe y0!!! :mad:
*does complicated hand sign*
:biggrin:
mrazntre
10-31-2004, 11:57 AM
Panda bear, stop trying to be so cute. :mad:
sorry, i can't help it. :cool:
Puck dat! Asian is beautiful gawddammit!
aZn pRyDe y0!!! :mad:
*does complicated hand sign*
:biggrin:
wAddUp po0! I kiT uRRR BoOt. isss!!! :biggrin:
I use that line on the ladies all the time and they just falll for it.
kimpossible
10-31-2004, 12:00 PM
unfortunately that's what happens when we live in a white majority - gotta deal with them :P
the other option is to ignore them and live in our own little reality - which we've tried for a hundred years or so, and look where that's gotten us
yes but i think the point here is it a worthy goal to measure asian american male sexuality in terms of acceptance by white females? there are other women in america.
mrazntre
10-31-2004, 12:02 PM
wow i love the way that even though this site is supposed to be 'empowering' Asian Americans, 9 times out of 10 all it seems to do is center around white people and getting them either in or out of your face..way progressive..yeaha!! *sighs*
It very well center around white people because that's the main obstacle in the Western world. It might seem ridiculous at first glance however when you really analyze it, what type of equality are we trying to achieve? As minorities living in a white world, the measuring stick placed on us is simply not fair. You've heard of the 'glass ceiling' right? Who placed it there? How about the topic of this thread? How about the feminization of the asian male? These all stem from *surprise* white people.
How do we make progress if we don't identify those in power that are holding us down?
fossilfuel
10-31-2004, 12:24 PM
yes but i think the point here is it a worthy goal to measure asian american male sexuality in terms of acceptance by white females? there are other women in america.
Well, I was responding more to her point that so much of the discussion here caters to dealings with white people.
and to your particular question - i dunno. there are arguments either way. Isn't it better to improve your image to ALL racial groups? I think the focus is on white people because they happen to be the dominant group and the ones we will be dealing with the most often, simply by being the majority. By being the majority - they also dictate the focus of the media, which in turn would influence the attitutdes of minority women. Maybe I'm stretching the chain of causation...
Also, my advice was not limited to white people, I would have said the same thing regardless of whether the girl was black, latina or asian - basically, don't automatically count yourself out because of your race or use your race as a scapegoat.
stunninglyAsian
10-31-2004, 04:01 PM
they know you're not a freak if they know you for a little bit. you cease to be a stereotype and become a person
But that doesn't always work- everybody has in or has known somebody who has liked another person but because their friends disapproved, nothing happened. Your friends have a huge impact on who you date. I think that influence is stronger on girls. If you can convince her friends that you're good for dating, then you're good to go.
sageb1
10-31-2004, 05:36 PM
yes, but then she had an obsession with large penises.
yes, but then she had an obsession with large penises.
jesus christ, stop bitching
yoMAMA
10-31-2004, 06:59 PM
1st question: yes.
2ndly, I have also rejected non asian girls [who i had lukewarm feelings for] as well.....
;)
sageb1
10-31-2004, 09:36 PM
other reasons they reject me:
i'm too pushy or obnoxious.
but then that's based on my online behavior on a webchat dating site.
at social functions, i'm a wallflower. i'd drink one beer, nurse it for two hours and leave. i might talk to two people.
deez nuts
11-01-2004, 09:16 AM
wow i love the way that even though this site is supposed to be 'empowering' Asian Americans, 9 times out of 10 all it seems to do is center around white people and getting them either in or out of your face..way progressive..yeaha!! *sighs*
not true.
i'm way more progressive than that.
i hate on all races equally.
yoMAMA
11-01-2004, 10:10 AM
not true.
i'm way more progressive than that.
i hate on all races equally.
but there's alot more white people everywhere....ya know?!?!?!
:tongue:
SunWuKong
11-01-2004, 10:57 AM
I would like to add another point which is that I have plenty of white male and female friends that do the work of "spying" for me. As a matter of fact, most of my friends are non-Asian.
These white females/males that I know understand much of my view on Asian American issues and they've shown reaction to it. Anyway, what I do is I have them "infiltrate" all-white gatherings; both liberial and conservative. In order to get a more "honest" answer, I have whites ask other whites questions that they would normally not answer honestly if the person asking them was non-Asian.
And let me tell you, shit comes out and I live in a very diverse area so I can't imagine what it's like in other rural areas. From what they say, racist remarks come out from time to time but most of the remarks are just snide and stereotypical. As for the white females, well, that was the answer they gave me.
"Asian guys are nice to be friends with but I just don't view them as a guy I'd really go after. If one asked me out, there are many things I would consider before I even think about responding yes. Since I'm stuck there and he's waiting for an answer, I'd usually say no instead of standing there like an idiot."
That was their typical answer. You're right, not obviously out of looks 100% of the time. Many of her friends are openminded but they just don't really view Asian guys are "hot."
I don't disagree with you guys when you say that non-Asian women find Asian guys attractive but the part I disagree with is that you guys said that "most" white women are open to dating Asian guys. It's more like "some." A very few "some."
But hey, I'm not bitter nor am I angry but I accept realistic situations and stick with Asian ladies.
well, firstly, what i said was, from experience, the non-Asian girls in urban areas that i've known wouldn't rule out Asian guys. that being said, white people that usually only hang out with other white people is not exactly a good sample of white people in a city.
and you actually care enough about what white people think to send in "spies"? :eek:
What do you mean? Like, you just go after them to see what their response would be...like just for the fun of it? I don't understand...so it'd hurt more for an Asian chick to reject your or what.
I wonder...what's worse to a guy? Getting rejected by a white or an Asian female...
well, it's just that, if i was approaching some random white girl or non-Asian girl, chances are, i probably won't care as much about being accepted by her as i would if the girl was Asian.
Banana
11-01-2004, 10:59 AM
What's that supposed to mean? You're phrasing your sentence to suggest that asian women are in the lower echelon of females.
I doubt that they'll appreciate that! It's all good, more for me! :biggrin:
I love ALL you asian ladies. :wink:
COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!
No. What I said is that rather than deal with the fact of "not knowing if rejection was based on racism," I would rather go with a group that can relate to me. Sticking doesn't mean it's the "only option possible" rather the best group for me. Don't read too much into it because there's nothing there.
SunWuKong
11-01-2004, 11:03 AM
reminds me of my cousin who started going to church because of a girl he liked. they started becoming really "close" friends. when he told her he liked her, guess what she said "I see you as a friend" hahha. serves the bastard right. using christ to get some ass :tongue:
isn't that what Korean church is all about?
yesss... scandalous Korean church girls... MMMMmmmm...
Banana
11-01-2004, 11:04 AM
well, firstly, what i said was, from experience, the non-Asian girls in urban areas that i've known wouldn't rule out Asian guys. that being said, white people that usually only hang out with other white people is not exactly a good sample of white people in a city.
and you actually care enough about what white people think to send in "spies"?
Actually, when I was talking to those said white people that were interested in Asian American issues; they didn't believe me at first regarding racist comments and stereotyping behind closed doors so I asked them to only talk to other white people and ask them race specific questions. After that, they started believing all these "crackpot" ideas I have such as how racism is still very much present behind closed doors, which is usually denied, and that white women aren't as open to dating Asian guys even though they preach how openminded they are.
They chose to do this "spying" on their own grounds and vocations. As they do it more and more often, they tend to agree with my points that big majority of white women aren't privy to Asian men. Doesn't mean that all aren't but from what I've heard from them, MOST aren't.
In the end, I give people the least amount of credit that they're due and I was correct in my assumption.
SunWuKong
11-01-2004, 11:07 AM
On the whole friend angle...most people claim that you have to become friends with someone you're interested in first before you can even think about having a chance, though the double edged sword is like you mentioned, you may become such good friends that he/she only thinks of you in that way. The dating world, she is a confusing mistress, no?
you know what though, there's all this talk about women only wanting to be friends, but the reality is that even if a girl is not initially attracted to a guy, it's possible that he would grow on her, and she would change her mind. but it's not like that with guys. if a guy is not attracted to a girl, there's no way he'd be attracted to her later, no matter what the girl does.
hooligan
11-01-2004, 11:38 AM
wow i love the way that even though this site is supposed to be 'empowering' Asian Americans, 9 times out of 10 all it seems to do is center around white people and getting them either in or out of your face..way progressive..yeaha!! *sighs*
i was talking to my friend about the whole IR deal within progressive apis. and honestly, we came to the conclusion that there are other huge issues in the api community here that we need to be focusing on instead of ranting about how so and so likes who and who.
i think once we learn to galvanize ourselves and change the way we view the api community. we can then address the problems such as outmarriage and IR relationships. besides, i'm out of the loop on this one because i know IR relationships that are really empowering and those that aren't.
you know what though, there's all this talk about women only wanting to be friends, but the reality is that even if a girl is not initially attracted to a guy, it's possible that he would grow on her, and she would change her mind. but it's not like that with guys. if a guy is not attracted to a girl, there's no way he'd be attracted to her later, no matter what the girl does.
in the end, i think, it comes down to attraction. i think that we're all attracted a little to those we talk to. so, it's just how some people view the issue of attraction. face it, you wouldn't talk to anyone you're not attracted to, no?
mrazntre
11-01-2004, 12:41 PM
No. What I said is that rather than deal with the fact of "not knowing if rejection was based on racism," I would rather go with a group that can relate to me. Sticking doesn't mean it's the "only option possible" rather the best group for me. Don't read too much into it because there's nothing there.
Apparently not.
asvenus
11-01-2004, 01:16 PM
yes but i think the point here is it a worthy goal to measure asian american male sexuality in terms of acceptance by white females? there are other women in america.
exactly..i think what imma do is just PM kim on whatever i have to say and get her to put in her beautifully succint style..and save myself from looking like an illiterate moron from now on :redface:
as for the whole majority issue..for fucks sake 'us coloured folks' make up the majority of the world population..i think it is so negative to constantly center our experience and existence around those who term themselves in control and dominant. in doing so we will always remain subject to thier whims, which is not really empowering is it??!!
why are we still trying to get some kind of 'acceptance' from certain groups..why is it so important?? argh i dunno..im just so past it ya know :wink:
kimpossible
11-01-2004, 01:33 PM
exactly..i think what imma do is just PM kim on whatever i have to say and get her to put in her beautifully succint style..and save myself from looking like an illiterate moron from now on :redface:
pfffft. you know not what you ask for. i tend to write things like 'hot, steaming loads' and 'hapa booty buffet'.
mrazntre
11-01-2004, 01:43 PM
exactly..i think what imma do is just PM kim on whatever i have to say and get her to put in her beautifully succint style..and save myself from looking like an illiterate moron from now on :redface:
as for the whole majority issue..for fucks sake 'us coloured folks' make up the majority of the world population..i think it is so negative to constantly center our experience and existence around those who term themselves in control and dominant. in doing so we will always remain subject to thier whims, which is not really empowering is it??!!
why are we still trying to get some kind of 'acceptance' from certain groups..why is it so important?? argh i dunno..im just so past it ya know :wink:
you simply fail to realize or accept (pick one) that regardless of "colored folk" being the majority of the world's population, numbers mean nothing unless it is preceded by "$" or whatever currency symbol you want to use. Simply put, THEY have money, clout, and political power whereas the majority of colored people are barely scraping by in their substandard existence. The numbers are quite staggering when you look at national per capita income worldwide (without segregrating race), but it can't be far off when you split it down.
We're not remaining subject to their whims, we're complaining about their whims, addressing it as a problem and proceeding from that point forth. It is true that sometimes there is a tendency to dwell on peripheral issues, but that's just the nature of the beast and something that must be dealt with in order to progress. In this sense we're trying to explore ourselves and discover the invalidaties and fallacies of what we've been subjected to by those that collectively oppress us.
you might be passed it however there are many out there that have not even realized that this is a problem. it is a new issue to them and it's an attractive topic to debate. just let it go.
SunWuKong
11-01-2004, 02:03 PM
as for the whole majority issue..for fucks sake 'us coloured folks' make up the majority of the world population..i think it is so negative to constantly center our experience and existence around those who term themselves in control and dominant. in doing so we will always remain subject to thier whims, which is not really empowering is it??!!
why are we still trying to get some kind of 'acceptance' from certain groups..why is it so important?? argh i dunno..im just so past it ya know :wink:
i believe the original question wasn't asked in regarding to women of any specific race alone, it was asking if we've been rejected based on our race, period. but i admit that most of the thread has been talking about rejection from white women. actually i probably prefer that to the alternative of a thread about being rejected by Asian women for being Asian. threads like the latter tend to deteriorate quickly.
but i think seeking "acceptance" from certain groups is only natural, especially when one accepts that group. it's simple as saying, "i would date white girls despite them being white, so i hope white girls would date me despite me being Asian." that doesn't say anything about measuring the sexual worth of Asian men by white women, at least not in my opinion.
BigLew
11-01-2004, 02:26 PM
pfffft. you know not what you ask for. i tend to write things like 'hot, steaming loads' and 'hapa booty buffet'.Yes!
isn't that what Korean church is all about?
yesss... scandalous Korean church girls... MMMMmmmm...
"treat her like dirt and she'll like you more" hahah *inside joke*. korean churches are so loose. the girls there are hot though, as you said. but the church my cousin, and i eventually went to, was a fillipino church. nothing but tanned cute chicks. anyway, he went through baptizing for the chick. hes getting pure but getting dirty at the same time lol. the irony. i look up to him. going through hell for a chick. i admire the desire :biggrin:
yoMAMA
11-01-2004, 07:27 PM
pfffft. you know not what you ask for. i tend to write things like 'hot, steaming loads' and 'hapa booty buffet'.
bon appetie!
:biggrin:
DragonKnight
11-01-2004, 10:00 PM
Forget acceptance...how about us Asian guys become the de facto group for male sexiness and the epitome of females' desires? :biggrin:
Cipherous
11-01-2004, 11:05 PM
Forget acceptance...how about us Asian guys become the de facto group for male sexiness and the epitome of females' desires? :biggrin:
damn straight!
*Flashes biceps
Banana
11-02-2004, 09:31 AM
When Asian men run the country.
damn straight!
*Flashes biceps
nice noodle arms. that'll get the girls screaming :biggrin:
so_fee_ahh
11-02-2004, 10:42 AM
nice noodle arms. that'll get the girls screaming :biggrin:
I like noodles. *slurps*
SunWuKong
11-02-2004, 11:06 AM
*slurps*
you're gonna give sy a heart attack.
mrazntre
11-02-2004, 11:20 AM
you're gonna give sy a heart attack.
move on people, the show's over here.
Let's get back on the topic :rolleyes:
Question: Has a lady ever rejected you because of your race?
Answer: No, cuz I'm a fuggin PIMP.
Happy?
:biggrin:
Cipherous
11-02-2004, 08:12 PM
move on people, the show's over here.
Let's get back on the topic :rolleyes:
Question: Has a lady ever rejected you because of your race?
Answer: No, cuz I'm a fuggin PIMP.
Happy?
:biggrin:
and the fact that you probably have a badass car
mrazntre
11-02-2004, 08:22 PM
and the fact that you probably have a badass car
yes.. the 86 MR2 makes 'em wet....
so wet in fact that I lined my passenger side seat with plastic.
yes.. the 86 MR2 makes 'em wet....
so wet in fact that I lined my passenger side seat with plastic.
and i thought all cars got flooded because of rain :rolleyes:
Cipherous
11-03-2004, 12:38 PM
yes.. the 86 MR2 makes 'em wet....
so wet in fact that I lined my passenger side seat with plastic.
oh for some reason, I thought you had one of the riced out cars or something cause you seem to work on your own car.
Heh, well I can't say if I've been rejected by the ladies (gee, if you don't know why, you'd better ask some YW folks), but I've been given the cold shoulders by tons of folks on the basis of my race. It's funny especially online when folks see pictures of me...if I don't mention that I'm Asian and they see pics of my body parts (gee, you might as well ask about this one), they'll be all happy and giddy to say hi. Once they see my face or when I tell them that I'm Asian, I can just sense their penises shriveling.
Oh well...maybe I'm the one who brings them back.
kimpossible
11-03-2004, 01:55 PM
It's funny especially online when folks see pictures of me...if I don't mention that I'm Asian and they see pics of my body parts (gee, you might as well ask about this one)
Okay, I'll ask. :biggrin:
SunWuKong
11-03-2004, 05:50 PM
Heh, well I can't say if I've been rejected by the ladies (gee, if you don't know why, you'd better ask some YW folks), but I've been given the cold shoulders by tons of folks on the basis of my race. It's funny especially online when folks see pictures of me...if I don't mention that I'm Asian and they see pics of my body parts (gee, you might as well ask about this one), they'll be all happy and giddy to say hi. Once they see my face or when I tell them that I'm Asian, I can just sense their penises shriveling.
Oh well...maybe I'm the one who brings them back.
that's interesting because on the other end of the spectrum you've got the rice queens.
YuheiCarreau
11-03-2004, 06:47 PM
Heh, well I can't say if I've been rejected by the ladies (gee, if you don't know why, you'd better ask some YW folks), but I've been given the cold shoulders by tons of folks on the basis of my race. It's funny especially online when folks see pictures of me...if I don't mention that I'm Asian and they see pics of my body parts (gee, you might as well ask about this one), they'll be all happy and giddy to say hi. Once they see my face or when I tell them that I'm Asian, I can just sense their penises shriveling.
Oh well...maybe I'm the one who brings them back.
You show 'em that before you sho your face?
Heh, well I can't say if I've been rejected by the ladies (gee, if you don't know why, you'd better ask some YW folks), but I've been given the cold shoulders by tons of folks on the basis of my race. It's funny especially online when folks see pictures of me...if I don't mention that I'm Asian and they see pics of my body parts (gee, you might as well ask about this one), they'll be all happy and giddy to say hi. Once they see my face or when I tell them that I'm Asian, I can just sense their penises shriveling.
Oh well...maybe I'm the one who brings them back.
You show 'em that before you show your face?
mrazntre
11-03-2004, 08:12 PM
oh for some reason, I thought you had one of the riced out cars or something cause you seem to work on your own car.
ehh? what does working on cars have anything to do with ricing out cars? :confused:
We can jump to the Auto Tech forum on that one....
and i thought all cars got flooded because of rain :rolleyes:
*sigh* kids these days ... .. :rolleyes:
You show 'em that before you sho your face?
You show 'em that before you show your face?
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ASKKKKKK ??????!?!?!?!?!
race rejection to a guy showing his goods to strangers lol . i love this forum. a clown and freak at every corner.
so_fee_ahh
11-05-2004, 09:57 AM
So how come the Asian hero never gets the girl? (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v50/xroelx/secret-asian-man-comic.jpg)
Irezumi Kiss
11-05-2004, 12:52 PM
So how come the Asian hero never gets the girl? (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v50/xroelx/secret-asian-man-comic.jpg)
"Oh Tyrone, you saved those kids, put out the project fires and killed all the crack dealers."
CLASSIC!! Sofee, If my rotation allotment lets me, you got karma...this one's going on my desktop! :biggrin:
Napoleon Chynamite
11-05-2004, 08:55 PM
I would care a lot more about getting rejected by an Asian girl than a white girl...simply because I prefer Asian girls and I would feel the stakes to be higher. In terms of how girls as a whole respond to me I see very little difference between white girls and Asian girls or whatever, but I do find myself more self-conscious around Asian women.
Mr.Lum
11-05-2004, 09:09 PM
I would care a lot more about getting rejected by an Asian girl than a white girl...simply because I prefer Asian girls and I would feel the stakes to be higher. In terms of how girls as a whole respond to me I see very little difference between white girls and Asian girls or whatever, but I do find myself more self-conscious around Asian women.
I would care more about the individual I was being rejected by than her color.
hooligan
11-27-2004, 12:19 AM
race rejection to a guy showing his goods to strangers lol . i love this forum. a clown and freak at every corner.
leftist clowns and freaks. being the reviver, i'd want to raise the issue of how do we as api males change the status quo? in what ways do you fight the odds against you?
robotic
11-28-2004, 05:24 AM
we love you all, our asian guys! ._.
*runs away from men's forum at the speed of lightning*
Commando_turned_MD
11-28-2004, 10:05 AM
I've been shot down by a white chick. This happen during my undergrad years eons ago. Moreover, she became uncomfortable around me after the incident. Basically, it destroyed our friendship. Darned!!!
Nowadays, the situation is reverse................................
stunninglyAsian
11-28-2004, 06:20 PM
leftist clowns and freaks. being the reviver, i'd want to raise the issue of how do we as api males change the status quo? in what ways do you fight the odds against you?
Well we can't change our looks at all, we can lose the glasses and bulk up, but in the end, we're still Asian. So really, you have to change your personality or attitude toward them.
deez nuts
11-29-2004, 07:28 AM
can't say for certain if it has happened to me.
but, i have turned down women due to perceived stereotypes about her race.
FrankieY18
01-05-2005, 12:42 PM
my gf's parents don't like me because i'm not korean..(obviously, her family is korean)..so...but we are still going out..her parents think we are just friends
Hapa Meister
01-07-2005, 05:50 AM
i'm friends w/ a white girl who said she wasn't into asian guys but thought i was cute... but she did end up living w/ and dating an asian guy for awhile.
LMAO! The irony...
I keep hearing about it?
Has anybody ever got "sorry lil man but I don't think I ordered Chinese"?
OOOOOOOUCCCCHHH!!
That's f**ked up, man!
What city and setting did this happen, eg. a nightclub?
she was all, "you've got a small pee pee." and i cried.
Is this a joke, or did this really happen?
yes. it was real sad. she said i looked like a terrorist. yup, that's right a fucken osama bin laden. damn her patriotic ass.
DAMN!
btw- are you an Indian or Paki?
I've always wonder how the asian women who don't asian guys would react when a white guy goes I don't date Asian women. The irony.
LMAO, I'd like to here a story about that!
Being a hapa, I have rejected Asian women because I had a strong preference for hapa females but this was say 2+ years ago and occurred mostly in Hawaii.
Don't have very many hapa options here in North Texbutt. Not to mention quite a few of the hapa chicks I've been meeting over the past few years had huge ghetto butts (like some Mexican or Black chicks) that scared me shitleess... bad karma you could say... thereby directing me towards some good Asian ass, usually Chinese.
Anyone notice how most Asian, mixed Asian, and half Asian guys have far superior taste in Asian and mixed Asian women than White dudes? :eek:
That's what I'm saying. Out of all the minority guys that got rejected, I'm willing to bet that race was a factor for often than not but they might give you some other excuse. You might never know but given my view on people and how society views Asians and Asian Americans, I think it happens very often.
As to the other person that posted about the "Asian Male Curse," that "curse" isn't about non-Asian women rejecting Asian guys; it was about the ratio of Asian women/any other women saying they don't date their own kind.
In other words, "Mainland" Asian Americans are fucked.
That's why I am looking forward to returning to Hawaii as soon as I finish my education here in the near future. Adios Amigos!
Even some of us hapas are screwed over by the "Asian curse" with regards to White girls but on the upside we don't seem to have any problem with Asian girls. Anyway, things are quite good for the Asian male in Hawaii, AM/WF pairings are very common there. :wink:
Isn't it pretty obvious just by getting to know the girl whether or not she will reject somebody because they are of race (or ethnicity) XYZ ? I would think that sort of acts as an effective filtering criteria in not choosing girls that will reject you for being Asian. Personally, I can't recall being rejected for being Asian (although some of my guy friends have told me otherwise). I do recall the roommate of a girl (that I was chasing after) telling me that I was rejected for being too short.
How tall were you relative to this girl you were chasing after?
Balthus Dire
01-08-2005, 01:17 PM
Never by the "lady" but certainly by her parents!
When I was younger, I did not live in an Asian populated area. I gravitated towards the white part of society due to academics and musical lessons. I was accepted socially, but never on a romantic/dating level. It was pretty sad, but the white girls were all I had as reference for feminine beauty. I actually invested some romantic effort in pursuing a few white girls, and I met the same scenario as described by others: Friends ok, but no dating. The parents also never would have allowed the daughters to be courted by an Asian kid. When I went to university, I encountered a more diverse group, but I still did not have a lot of interaction with the Asians. After graduation, I traveled heavily for work. Once I started seeing Asia, and all the beautiful Aisan women, a light switch turned on. I could not believe the level of acceptance and attraction I was receiving. There is no way ever I would even waste time and effort on pursuing a white girl. I find the half-asian girls are very pretty, but the Southeast Asian girls really knock me out. Wow. Thai/Laotian/Cambodian/Vietnamese girls are some real lookers. That is the only regret I have in my life: A youth spent among white society.
stunninglyAsian
02-03-2005, 08:50 PM
Once I started seeing Asia, and all the beautiful Aisan women, a light switch turned on. I could not believe the level of acceptance and attraction I was receiving. There is no way ever I would even waste time and effort on pursuing a white girl. That is the only regret I have in my life: A youth spent among white society.
I'm like you- grew up among white people. But I don't regret it.
I feel like the level of acceptance is different with non-Asians vs. Asians. I think non-Asians are more accepting of me as a person. But the cultural simliarites are clearly absent- I can relate to them, but I would think they have a hard time related to certain aspects of my life. And I would definetly pursue a white girl, or non-Asian girl for that matter. But then again, I don't go for your standard MTV, A&F girl. I like the hippy/well-traveled/open-minded types- so naturally they would be more receptive to me.
Asians I feel like accept me simply because I look like one of them, it's more of a cultural thing. We can relate with our similiar background, which is quite comforting. But I feel that who I am as a person gets lost in all the cultural similarities and practices.
yuuteya
02-03-2005, 09:51 PM
There was this cute blond Polish girl that I once liked, I kept hanging around her, sometimes we'd eat lunch together, just friends, but I was interested. But later I think she noticed my interest was getting more, so one day she started talking about her favorite actors/dream guys... then she showed me her notebook of all her favorite guys, their pictures, stickers, and they were all of guys with blond hair and blue eyes... She said wow, a blond guy is so cool and so sexy, theyre the best... blahblahblah... It sucked! but I could get the message, after that I stayed away from her. Funny thing, later I found out from a friend that she aint even blond at all, shes a brunette.. hm.
ZiJing
02-04-2005, 11:25 AM
yes, by a fellow southeast asian. it turns out she was vietnamese and cantonese wasnt good enough... *sigh*
Hapa Meister
02-05-2005, 11:03 AM
I never had the slightest worry about being rejected because of my race in Hawaii. In fact, I rejected quite a few Haole and Asian girls because I used to only go for Hapas.
As far as Texas goes, being rejected because of my race is definitely something that comes to mind on a regular basis being that Asians are such a small minority, let alone Hapas and mixed Asians.
In Malaysia, I could pretty much play the field like in Hawaii with the exception that a few half Malay Eurasian gals weren't too interested after they found out I wasn't half Malay/Muslim like them but in fact half Chinese. Oh well... at least that's not even half as bad as it is in North and West Texas w/ regard to AM's trying to mack on WF's. *cries*
When I was younger, I did not live in an Asian populated area. I gravitated towards the white part of society due to academics and musical lessons. I was accepted socially, but never on a romantic/dating level. It was pretty sad, but the white girls were all I had as reference for feminine beauty. I actually invested some romantic effort in pursuing a few white girls, and I met the same scenario as described by others: Friends ok, but no dating. The parents also never would have allowed the daughters to be courted by an Asian kid. When I went to university, I encountered a more diverse group, but I still did not have a lot of interaction with the Asians. After graduation, I traveled heavily for work. Once I started seeing Asia, and all the beautiful Aisan women, a light switch turned on. I could not believe the level of acceptance and attraction I was receiving. There is no way ever I would even waste time and effort on pursuing a white girl. I find the half-asian girls are very pretty, but the Southeast Asian girls really knock me out. Wow. Thai/Laotian/Cambodian/Vietnamese girls are some real lookers. That is the only regret I have in my life: A youth spent among white society.
Hehehehehehe... looks like you've really seen the light!
Right on dude! Asia rocks, SE Asia at least (Malaysia, Singapore)!! Not to mention the nightlife in much of Asia beats the hell out of what we got in Texcrap. :mad:
grimfan
03-27-2005, 09:15 PM
We are all influenced by pop culture and the media, and in both, Asian males are pretty low on the totem pole. Not to say that the media purposely tries to make Asian men look ugly or wimpy, but it simply ignores them. In most stories, movies, shows, etc., the man-to-get is a white guy, and sometimes a black guy. But it's never an Asian guy.
Atealtha
03-27-2005, 10:16 PM
If you're not the same race it is so easy to get rejected of race because it is the easiest excuse to use to turn you down.
Most girls won't cite that as a reason to your face. If it is an issue, you probably won't even find yourself in the position to be rejected in the first place. But when it does happen it's not always immediately apparent as a reason. But I have figured out a few times that it was a reason through second-hand information.
I've learned not to waste my time on girls who don't give any signals or show that they would consider me. It's better to assume that none of them are interested in you and then work from there.
stunninglyAsian
04-04-2005, 08:31 PM
As far as Texas goes, being rejected because of my race is definitely something that comes to mind on a regular basis being that Asians are such a small minority, let alone Hapas and mixed Asians.
Oh well... at least that's not even half as bad as it is in North and West Texas w/ regard to AM's trying to mack on WF's. *cries*
Well you gotta play with the cards you're dealt with- if you're surrounded by WFs, you mack on WFs. Or black, hispanic, hapa... whatever. There's certainly nothing wrong with them, they can be just as pretty and charming as an Asian girl.
Actually I'm kind of glad I am the only Asian in a 100 mile radius- before I just wanted to isolate myself in the nearest Korean ethnic enclave and ignore the rest of the world. Now I feel more comfortable around non-Asians and I tend not to think, "Oh damn... look at all these white people! I'm the lone Asian that they've stereotyped, I'm fucked!" Sure you'll meet racist people and they'll piss you off. But is that any different from an Asian girl rejecting you because she doesn't think you're good looking or an Asian girl cheating on you? That's just as depressing and anger inducing as a girl rejecting you because you're Asian. If you get rejected from a few girls, that doesn't mean you're going to stop dating them all together now, does it? I don't think it's healthy to focus just on Asian culture and people, esp. if you live in America.
At the risk of going off on a tangent- no girl ever shows interest or signals to me. And you can't wait for that or you'll suddenly be an old man without ever having going on a date. I have to create demand- although it may not get me a girlfriend, it's suprised me a few times. I assume that girls can put on the perfect poker face- you can't read 'em. A girl might be so sexually aroused by the mere sight of you and want to throw you onto a bed and do unmetionable things to you all night long. But guess what, she ain't gonna show it. Not a bit. And if you don't act, she'll move on.
yoMAMA
04-04-2005, 10:17 PM
Well you gotta play with the cards you're dealt with- if you're surrounded by WFs, you mack on WFs. Or black, hispanic, hapa... whatever. There's certainly nothing wrong with them, they can be just as pretty and charming as an Asian girl.
Actually I'm kind of glad I am the only Asian in a 100 mile radius- before I just wanted to isolate myself in the nearest Korean ethnic enclave and ignore the rest of the world. Now I feel more comfortable around non-Asians and I tend not to think, "Oh damn... look at all these white people! I'm the lone Asian that they've stereotyped, I'm fucked!" Sure you'll meet racist people and they'll piss you off. But is that any different from an Asian girl rejecting you because she doesn't think you're good looking or an Asian girl cheating on you? That's just as depressing and anger inducing as a girl rejecting you because you're Asian. If you get rejected from a few girls, that doesn't mean you're going to stop dating them all together now, does it? I don't think it's healthy to focus just on Asian culture and people, esp. if you live in America.
At the risk of going off on a tangent- no girl ever shows interest or signals to me. And you can't wait for that or you'll suddenly be an old man without ever having going on a date. I have to create demand- although it may not get me a girlfriend, it's suprised me a few times. I assume that girls can put on the perfect poker face- you can't read 'em. A girl might be so sexually aroused by the mere sight of you and want to throw you onto a bed and do unmetionable things to you all night long. But guess what, she ain't gonna show it. Not a bit. And if you don't act, she'll move on.
good point, dude.
Rogmok
04-07-2005, 10:31 PM
i had a girl tell me, she can't date cause i'm not korean.
whatever.
Dirty Soap
06-12-2005, 11:32 AM
I keep hearing about it?
Has anybody ever got "sorry lil man but I don't think I ordered Chinese"?
OOOOOOOUCCCCHHH!!Yeah :mad: It would be a dumb ass reason too. Like there be girls I know wanna holla, but their friends tell them to turn me down cause I'm black. Sa'll good. I don't have jungle fever for Jane anyway. Only white girl I'm interested in right now is Angelina Jolie :biggrin:
K that example I gave doesn't count because its a 3rd grade reference. Nowadays I don't have any problems with white girls.
Craig
06-12-2005, 11:55 AM
How tall were you relative to this girl you were chasing after?Guess I wasn't paying attention to this thread ... Don't remember, about the same height, maybe an inch taller.
ahsingjai
06-14-2005, 06:04 PM
I never been rejected and told it was because of my race... But who knows.
pikachupacabra
06-14-2005, 06:09 PM
One girl's father explicitly told me that I wasn't right for his daughter and when I (in my very scared 10th grade voice...he was a lot bigger than me at the time) asked why ("umm...sor-sor-sorry sir...why am I wrong for her M-M-M-mr. peck?"), he replied "because you're too goddam yellow".
That was certainly an eye-opener.
ahsingjai
06-14-2005, 06:11 PM
One girl's father explicitly told me that I wasn't right for his daughter and when I (in my very scared 10th grade voice...he was a lot bigger than me at the time) asked why ("umm...sor-sor-sorry sir...why am I wrong for her M-M-M-mr. peck?"), he replied "because you're too goddam yellow".
That was certainly an eye-opener.
I would kinda think the same way if I were to meet the parents of a non-asian girl I am dating... Will they accept me?
Hell, forget just non-asian. My parents are too traditional, and I don't even know if they will accept a non-chinese.
grimfan
06-17-2005, 03:08 AM
I don't know if this is true of the majority of minority parents, but my mom's like this: she expects me to become bosom buddies with any Korean kid she knows, yet at the same she acts like I'm weird for being close with non-Asian friends if there's the slightest inconvenience/difficulty. For example, I have a friend who's Polish and we've been friends since 3rd grade. I moved across town so I can only see him once in awhile, but I try to when I can. My mom's like, "Why are you friends with him? You have to go so far! Why don't you become friends with Ji-Hoon instead? His mom's so nice...".
I hate the fact that my mom thinks I should be friends with random Korean person X simply because we speak the same language and eat the same dishes. It's like personality, compatibility, experiences, etc. are all a distant second to mere convenience.
Paradox
06-20-2005, 01:39 AM
I've been rejected for racial reasons before but I view it as a "writeoff" if a woman is ignorant enough to buy into the racial stigma then she has a personality defect or insecurity issues that I wouldn't want to deal with anyways. A person that easily flips to appease social trends, racial anxiety, or money isn't the type of person i'd want to have a relationship with longterm. It's no biggy afterall the world is a big place and once you leave that shitty racially polarized aquarium that most of the anglo world consists of it's liberating.
relus
06-20-2005, 03:58 PM
I think height is a big factor for women in choosing a partner and sadly asians on average are shorter than blacks and whites. With men, most would choose based on a girl's looks :p For girls I think they choose based on height and/or a guy's profession(hidden golddigger) :p
pablohoney
06-20-2005, 04:29 PM
I don't know if this is true of the majority of minority parents, but my mom's like this: she expects me to become bosom buddies with any Korean kid she knows, yet at the same she acts like I'm weird for being close with non-Asian friends if there's the slightest inconvenience/difficulty. For example, I have a friend who's Polish and we've been friends since 3rd grade. I moved across town so I can only see him once in awhile, but I try to when I can. My mom's like, "Why are you friends with him? You have to go so far! Why don't you become friends with Ji-Hoon instead? His mom's so nice...".
That's funny. When I was younger I was very shy, and once in high school my sister commented about how her then-boyfriend had a sister who was also very shy. My dad suddenly blurted out, "Well son, looks like you've found a friend." and I was like, "WTF??"...as if shy people just congregate together regardless of personality type.
Banana
06-21-2005, 11:30 AM
The height excuse doesn't work in that it's just one less reason for them to reject you because of your race.
grimfan
06-22-2005, 02:15 PM
The height excuse doesn't work in that it's just one less reason for them to reject you because of your race.
Height's almost as bad as discrimination as race, in that both are things that are genetically determined. Sure, some people can say how weight is genetic, but it's still something you can lose. Even ugliness can be fixed through surgery, but height is pretty much permanent, barring drastic hormone therapy or excruciating and dangerous surgery. I'm just a bit below average in height, 5'8", (although I may grow a bit more... I want to be 5'10") and I still feel the social stigma of not being a really tall guy. I really feel for guys who are really shorter than the average.
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