it isnt yours [Archive] - Yellowworld Forums

angel nympho

09-20-2002, 05:22 PM

Oh! I saw that episode today. Umm... well, as for me... I would find it hard to not be able to figure out if my child was really my child.. cuz umm... I think I'd remember it coming out of my vagina.

But if I found out that the man who raised my child was not really the father, I'd be sooo... *whoa* Though it doesn't change the fact that the man IS the father, just not the biological father, I'd feel so guilty.

If I was a man and that happened, I would keep raising the child, but I'd feel so betrayed and lied to.

deez nuts

09-20-2002, 05:42 PM

Don't want anything to do with her and the kid. And gimme my money back or we going make appearance on Judge Judy, actually nah, Judge Joe Brown.

kasia

09-21-2002, 12:13 AM

Originally posted by AliBabaIncorporated@Sep 20 2002, 10:37 PM
i'd keep raising the kid. the situation would be almost like an adoption. sorta. but i'd probably also divorce the wife and sue the father for 10 years of child support payments.
haha. good answer. take care of the kid b/c he's innocent. ditch the mom cause she's a liar (but how if she didn't mean to lie (e.g., she didn't know?), and make the real dad live up to his responsibilities. i think this is as fair as it can get.

deez nuts

09-21-2002, 06:03 AM

Wow you guys are better than me. Kinda feel slimey for saying I'd ditch them both. Reason for not wanting the child:

"Hello? Was I looking to adopt?"

"Some other fool's kid."

"Not my genetic material. Not my responsibility."

Call me cold-hearted, but that's how I feel.

wylin

09-21-2002, 10:55 AM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 21 2002, 05:03 AM
Wow you guys are better than me. Kinda feel slimey for saying I'd ditch them both. Reason for not wanting the child:

"Hello? Was I looking to adopt?"

"Some other fool's kid."

"Not my genetic material. Not my responsibility."

Call me cold-hearted, but that's how I feel.
" im not taking care of another mans sin"

nuff said.

mrazntre

09-21-2002, 11:36 AM

i like to watch those shows when the guy says that the girl is a ho and it aint his, but she says "NO. it's yours! because i haven't slept with anyone else." Only to find out that the father of the child is someone else. HAHAHAHAHAHA I love to see those bitches cry. Don't be accusing unless you're pretty damn sure you dumb bitches. If a girl is sleeping around with a bunch of guys and she gets pregnant, she's going to instantly try to snag the most desireable guy of the bunch. That ain't right. Dumb ho's. If she wasn't a ho, then she wouldn't have to go through that bullshit. Those dumb fucking ho's get on my last fucking nerve. Damn sluts.

use 2 sources of birth control !!

Bitches are liars. Ya can't trust no ho. If the kid ain't mine, it ain't mine. I would sue the shit out of the bitch for.. i dunno. KC,aRex, bArbs.. what could i sue her for hypothetically? IF this did happen to me.

kasia

09-21-2002, 11:55 AM

i guess you can sue the real father for child support--but i'm not sure if you can sue the mother...

but keep in mind, guys, the karizma specifically made it in her hypothetical that you've been taking care of this kid for at least 5 years. wouldn't you be too emotionally attached to discard him as "someone else's sin"?

deez nuts

09-21-2002, 12:21 PM

Originally posted by wylin@Sep 21 2002, 12:55 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 21 2002, 05:03 AM
Wow you guys are better than me.  Kinda feel slimey for saying I'd ditch them both.   Reason for not wanting the child:  

"Hello? Was I looking to adopt?"

"Some other fool's kid."

"Not my genetic material.  Not my responsibility."

Call me cold-hearted, but that's how I feel.
" im not taking care of another mans sin"

nuff said.
word wylin. not my sperm therefore not out of my bank account.

deez nuts

09-21-2002, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Sep 21 2002, 01:55 PM
i guess you can sue the real father for child support--but i'm not sure if you can sue the mother...

but keep in mind, guys, the karizma specifically made it in her hypothetical that you've been taking care of this kid for at least 5 years. wouldn't you be too emotionally attached to discard him as "someone else's sin"?
i would have no problems at all, unattachinging myself from the child. i'm not the kid's dad. if i wanted a kid i'll either 1)have one of my own 2)adopt on my own terms or 3)donate to feed the children's fund.

I'm not running a charity here.

And there's gonna be hell to pay, i'm gonna go after the mom for everything that came out of my pocket. Anyways prolly wouldn't come to it anyways, I would probably ask for two separate paternity tests if this ever happens.

SunWuKong

09-21-2002, 12:30 PM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 21 2002, 02:24 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Sep 21 2002, 01:55 PM
i guess you can sue the real father for child support--but i'm not sure if you can sue the mother...

but keep in mind, guys, the karizma specifically made it in her hypothetical that you've been taking care of this kid for at least 5 years.  wouldn't you be too emotionally attached to discard him as "someone else's sin"?
i would have no problems at all, unattachinging myself from the child. i'm not the kid's dad. if i wanted a kid i'll either 1)have one of my own 2)adopt on my own terms or 3)donate to feed the children's fund.

I'm not running a charity here.

And there's gonna be hell to pay, i'm gonna go after the mom for everything that came out of my pocket. Anyways prolly wouldn't come to it anyways, I would probably ask for two separate paternity tests if this ever happens.
ok but bunboy, you're assuming you won't have any emotional attachments to the kid after raising him 5 to 10 years.

deez nuts

09-21-2002, 12:40 PM

no i believe i can detach myself emotionally quite easily. my reasons

1)I'm not going out like that
2)I'm the oldest Chen male of my generation, and i'll be damned if my first child is some bastard child.

In the tone of my man Dr. tre (but in no way speaking for him in his views about this): Hit the road bizzatch and take the kid with you.

I'm pretty liberal about most things, but I'm not about to be played like that.

angel nympho

09-21-2002, 12:41 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Sep 21 2002, 06:55 PM
i guess you can sue the real father for child support--but i'm not sure if you can sue the mother...

but keep in mind, guys, the karizma specifically made it in her hypothetical that you've been taking care of this kid for at least 5 years. wouldn't you be too emotionally attached to discard him as "someone else's sin"?
^-- Exactly.

And honestly, what if the woman just didn't know? You're going to ditch her too? You gotta look at it situation by situation. What if she got raped 5 years ago? What if 5 years ago, you had a huge blowout fight, and you cheated on her and she cheated on you to get back at you? Maybe 5 years ago she was with somebody else, cheating on them with you! Either way...

I guess you could try to sue the real father for child support, but if he didn't know he was supposed to pay child support... what more could you do?

kimpossible

09-21-2002, 12:45 PM

I'm not a guy but I think I would feel the same way as the Doc. Not only do I think I would just feel differently once I knew the child wasn't mine, I wouldn't want to be near the mindgame-playing woman who made me think the child was mine. On top of that, somewhere out there is the kid's daddy, so the woman better get steppin' and find out who it is.

I'm sure the biological father should have his rights to his child. Long term we're talking about a person's lineage, family ties, identity, etc. Let's not assume that the biological father who doesn't know he has a child out there wouldn't want the child in his life.

deez nuts

09-21-2002, 12:52 PM

Originally posted by angel nympho@Sep 21 2002, 02:41 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Sep 21 2002, 06:55 PM
i guess you can sue the real father for child support--but i'm not sure if you can sue the mother...

but keep in mind, guys, the karizma specifically made it in her hypothetical that you've been taking care of this kid for at least 5 years. wouldn't you be too emotionally attached to discard him as "someone else's sin"?
^-- Exactly.

And honestly, what if the woman just didn't know? You're going to ditch her too? You gotta look at it situation by situation. What if she got raped 5 years ago? What if 5 years ago, you had a huge blowout fight, and you cheated on her and she cheated on you to get back at you? Maybe 5 years ago she was with somebody else, cheating on them with you! Either way...

I guess you could try to sue the real father for child support, but if he didn't know he was supposed to pay child support... what more could you do?
Right, I agree situation by situation. I am speaking to karizma's example.

Like if I am marrying her and she is already a single mom, no problem, i'll love the kid as my own.

And yes you can sue the biological dad for child support this and that, but how is this my responsibility to sue the biological dad. i don't have time for this type of drama. Just, get back what you can and let the mother and the biological father figure out the rest. My hands are clean.

Bottomline:

My kid, my responsibility. I'll step up like man. If you're man enough to do the deed, you gotta be man enough to own up to the reprecussions.

Not my kid, leave. I'm not cleaning up after someone else's mess.

SunWuKong

09-21-2002, 01:16 PM

i guess i differ from the doc's point of view, even though i am the only male in my generation under my grandfather's tree. my father only has one son, and his only brother does not have a son. i think it would probably bother me a little that the kid is not biologically mine, and i might perhaps try to have a biological son of my own upon the discovery that my son is not a biological son, but overall i think i'd probably be too emotionally attached to the child (boy or girl) after having raised him or her 5 to 10 years. hell, i'd probably be pretty damn attached after raising him or her for 1 or 2 years. so no, i doubt i'll abandon him, and i might not even try to get child support from the biological father. i'd probably just raise the child like i was his/her father.

actually i've been thinking about adopting a girl or two from orphanages in china when i get married. however, this is not to say that i won't have children of my own.

maybe my views are different because my mother was raised without a father figure. her father has always worked overseas ever since she was 3, and only went back to HK for short visits. she never knew him well, and when we moved to the states, after a few months he was diagnosed with stomach cancer and it had already progressed terminally so he died very soon after the diagnosis.

kimpossible

09-21-2002, 01:20 PM

What if the biological father isn't your ethnicity? And why assume the bio father doesn't want his child?

deez nuts

09-21-2002, 01:25 PM

MK you got a heart of gold. If you still plan on being a lawyer, this combined with the other stuff I've seen out of you, you're gonna make one hell of a JD.

I'm sorry bro, I just can't bring myself to do it, in this case.

edit: MK you don't think that by doing so, you'll be taking on extra baggage and won't play a factor in your relationships? How do you think any of your future girlfriends might feel? How is your future wife gonna be affected? Or the ramifications it might have on your biological kids?

SunWuKong

09-21-2002, 05:48 PM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 21 2002, 03:25 PM
MK you got a heart of gold. If you still plan on being a lawyer, this combined with the other stuff I've seen out of you, you're gonna make one hell of a JD.

I'm sorry bro, I just can't bring myself to do it, in this case.

edit: MK you don't think that by doing so, you'll be taking on extra baggage and won't play a factor in your relationships? How do you think any of your future girlfriends might feel? How is your future wife gonna be affected? Or the ramifications it might have on your biological kids?
actually i would like to go into business law, so a heart of gold is probably a bad thing, hahhah!

in response to all your questions, assuming that i would feel emotionally attached to the kid, he/she would be more important than how future girlfriends might feel. and i'm hoping that my biological kids wouldn't be selfish enough to have problems with it.

DaBestSpooner

09-22-2002, 09:08 PM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 21 2002, 08:03 AM
Wow you guys are better than me. Kinda feel slimey for saying I'd ditch them both. Reason for not wanting the child:

"Hello? Was I looking to adopt?"

"Some other fool's kid."

"Not my genetic material. Not my responsibility."

Call me cold-hearted, but that's how I feel.
I concurr!

I dont see how its cold, when you were deceived in the first place, and you put your life, responsibilities and your financial resources into this kid who wasnt yours.

DaBestSpooner

09-22-2002, 09:10 PM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 21 2002, 02:52 PM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Sep 21 2002, 02:41 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Sep 21 2002, 06:55 PM
i guess you can sue the real father for child support--but i'm not sure if you can sue the mother...

but keep in mind, guys, the karizma specifically made it in her hypothetical that you've been taking care of this kid for at least 5 years. wouldn't you be too emotionally attached to discard him as "someone else's sin"?
^-- Exactly.

And honestly, what if the woman just didn't know? You're going to ditch her too? You gotta look at it situation by situation. What if she got raped 5 years ago? What if 5 years ago, you had a huge blowout fight, and you cheated on her and she cheated on you to get back at you? Maybe 5 years ago she was with somebody else, cheating on them with you! Either way...

I guess you could try to sue the real father for child support, but if he didn't know he was supposed to pay child support... what more could you do?
Right, I agree situation by situation. I am speaking to karizma's example.

Like if I am marrying her and she is already a single mom, no problem, i'll love the kid as my own.

And yes you can sue the biological dad for child support this and that, but how is this my responsibility to sue the biological dad. i don't have time for this type of drama. Just, get back what you can and let the mother and the biological father figure out the rest. My hands are clean.

Bottomline:

My kid, my responsibility. I'll step up like man. If you're man enough to do the deed, you gotta be man enough to own up to the reprecussions.

Not my kid, leave. I'm not cleaning up after someone else's mess.
I would at least take back some of my stuff, know it sounds ghetto and all, but hey it was under false pretenses.

angel nympho

09-22-2002, 11:04 PM

Originally posted by DaBestSpooner@Sep 23 2002, 04:08 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 21 2002, 08:03 AM
Wow you guys are better than me.  Kinda feel slimey for saying I'd ditch them both.   Reason for not wanting the child:  

"Hello? Was I looking to adopt?"

"Some other fool's kid."

"Not my genetic material.  Not my responsibility."

Call me cold-hearted, but that's how I feel.
I concurr!

I dont see how its cold, when you were deceived in the first place, and you put your life, responsibilities and your financial resources into this kid who wasnt yours.
What if even the MOM didn't know it wasn't your kid, though. You'd ditch her and a child you've emotionally bonded with for the past five years entirely for one mistake 5 years ago? As far as you and anybody else knew, you had been putting your life, responsiblities, and financial resources into this kid you assumed to be yours. If you were going to be the type of father who'd just take off JUST for the reason that they're not related to you by blood, then you should have made sure earlier on. I mean, seriously. If even the mom didn't know. If nobody ever found out who the child's biological father was, you'd have just raised this kid and loved this kid no matter what.

That kid will feel like you just walked out and abandoned him.

SunWuKong

09-22-2002, 11:11 PM

hmmm... i'm still not convinced that you guys won't be emotionally attached to the kid after at least 5 years of raising him like he was your own.

or maybe i'm just a softy when it comes to children.

deez nuts

09-23-2002, 06:20 AM

Now where getting into if's, and, or, but's. If it ever happens to me, I would ask for two separate blood tests by separate labs, first and foremost.

And MK: Maybe I would be attached. But I would be more inclined to think I would have no problems letting go. I tend to let go of emotional attachments pretty easily, my ex-gf a psychiatrist calls it some sick defensive mechanism.

SunWuKong

09-23-2002, 07:43 AM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 23 2002, 08:20 AM
And MK: Maybe I would be attached. But I would be more inclined to think I would have no problems letting go. I tend to let go of emotional attachments pretty easily, my ex-gf a psychiatrist calls it some sick defensive mechanism.
dated a psychiatrist huh? scary...

deez nuts

09-23-2002, 07:53 AM

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 23 2002, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 23 2002, 08:20 AM
And MK: Maybe I would be attached.  But I would be more inclined to think I would have no problems letting go.  I tend to let go of emotional attachments pretty easily, my ex-gf a psychiatrist calls it some sick defensive mechanism.
dated a psychiatrist huh? scary...
Yeah, it got annoying, always seemed she was analyzing me. But the bod on that woman, nice long legs, firm ass, a nice firm porportional rack. Oh and her face was pretty too.
It was 5'7 120-125lbs of pure woman. It wasn't worth it though to have someone always try and psychoanalyze you.

SunWuKong

09-23-2002, 07:56 AM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 23 2002, 09:53 AM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 23 2002, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 23 2002, 08:20 AM
And MK: Maybe I would be attached. But I would be more inclined to think I would have no problems letting go. I tend to let go of emotional attachments pretty easily, my ex-gf a psychiatrist calls it some sick defensive mechanism.
dated a psychiatrist huh? scary...
Yeah, it got annoying, always seemed she was analyzing me. But the bod on that woman, nice long legs, firm ass, a nice firm porportional rack. Oh and her face was pretty too.
It was 5'7 120-125lbs of pure woman. It wasn't worth it though to have someone always try and psychoanalyze you.
beautiful women are everywhere.
but one that'll leave you alone in your psychosis is hard to find. :)

deez nuts

09-23-2002, 08:02 AM

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 23 2002, 09:56 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 23 2002, 09:53 AM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 23 2002, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 23 2002, 08:20 AM
And MK: Maybe I would be attached. But I would be more inclined to think I would have no problems letting go. I tend to let go of emotional attachments pretty easily, my ex-gf a psychiatrist calls it some sick defensive mechanism.
dated a psychiatrist huh? scary...
Yeah, it got annoying, always seemed she was analyzing me. But the bod on that woman, nice long legs, firm ass, a nice firm porportional rack. Oh and her face was pretty too.
It was 5'7 120-125lbs of pure woman. It wasn't worth it though to have someone always try and psychoanalyze you.
beautiful women are everywhere.
but one that'll leave you alone in your psychosis is hard to find. :)
Spoken like a true pro, mk. But, it was fun while it lasted.

Ooooooo thanks for the idea for a new topic.

ChinaLama

10-03-2002, 12:15 AM

I'd feel it's just a matter of responsibility to raise the kid as you would your own. of course in reality it WON'T be the same cuz no way a guy can be attached to a 5 yr old who's not his BIOLOGICAL son the same way blood can bind those ties, but if a guy's been raising a kid and that kid thinks of him as his father, it just seems like a duty to raise the kid. Just like it'd be the duty of a person to take care of a stranded baby, but in this case it's more long-term and serious, depending on how old the child is, since a part of the child's identity relies on the caring of the man he or she thought of as his or her father.

Uncle Tat

10-07-2002, 09:15 PM

I know I'm gonna get chastised by you all for this but...

I'd drop my wife and child in an instant and file for divorce.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned and think that marriage should be built on trust. I'll assume that I would have known the woman I marry for at LEAST 1 year so that means she must have cheated on me to bear that child.

Sorry but if a woman cheats on me like that, I'd drop her like a rock. I don't care how emotionally attached I am to her or the kid. Losing the kid might be harder, but looking at him/her would just remind me of a cheating wife and the shame and pain would be too much. Yup sounds selfish but so was she when she decided to cheat on me.

deez nuts

10-08-2002, 05:30 AM

Originally posted by Uncle Tat@Oct 7 2002, 11:15 PM
I know I'm gonna get chastised by you all for this but...

I'd drop my wife and child in an instant and file for divorce.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned and think that marriage should be built on trust. I'll assume that I would have known the woman I marry for at LEAST 1 year so that means she must have cheated on me to bear that child.

Sorry but if a woman cheats on me like that, I'd drop her like a rock. I don't care how emotionally attached I am to her or the kid. Losing the kid might be harder, but looking at him/her would just remind me of a cheating wife and the shame and pain would be too much. Yup sounds selfish but so was she when she decided to cheat on me.
I'm wit ya!

Craig

10-08-2002, 05:40 AM

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Oct 8 2002, 12:30 PM
Originally posted by Uncle Tat@Oct 7 2002, 11:15 PM
I know I'm gonna get chastised by you all for this but...

I'd drop my wife and child in an instant and file for divorce.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned and think that marriage should be built on trust.  I'll assume that I would have known the woman I marry for at LEAST 1 year so that means she must have cheated on me to bear that child.

Sorry but if a woman cheats on me like that, I'd drop her like a rock.  I don't care how emotionally attached I am to her or the kid.  Losing the kid might be harder, but looking at him/her would just remind me of a cheating wife and the shame and pain would be too much.  Yup sounds selfish but so was she when she decided to cheat on me.
I'm wit ya!

ditto ...