walking around at night alone

[kasia]

do you ever do it? do you ever have to walk to your car alone after school or work? do you ever have to take the bus home alone at night? does it make you nervous or not really?

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by kasia@Sep 18 2002, 07:58 PM
do you ever do it? do you ever have to walk to your car alone after school or work? do you ever have to take the bus home alone at night? does it make you nervous or not really?
Whoah. Good topic.

I'm ultra cautious. I avoid being in desolate places in the dark, try to park near lights, and try to watch which directions the shadows fall. But I do take professional development courses downtown and use mass trans to get there and back. Those always end at night.

Sometimes, I carry a knife. I used to be friends with one of the family members at Al Mar knives. She gave me a wicked looking punchblade. The reality is that I would never even want to use it, but I do carry it occasionally.

Sorry if I'm not too coherent. I'm paying some bills online right now.

[amietron]

before i got gym membership, sometimes i'd go running to the grocery store cus i'd want certain food items and my mother wasn't willing to drive me.. or i wanted to be outside in the cold darkness of the night cus it felt nice. plus, it beat huffing and puffing inside my computer room, where my mother has her treadmill.. too stuffy.

i don't go behind large vehicles like vans/suvs.. try to run on the side of the street in the light. turn + look around to see if anyone is around. usually take phone, to call home so they know that i wasn't abducted or anyting..

last year when i went on a road trip with a buncha girl friends to yosemite, i ended up going to look at the moon with my friend's cousin.. and he wanted to walk on the trail thing to these big boulders to sit, so we did, and we didn't go back to the cabin place for a while. friends freaked out thinking about how he and i were gone, and how the 3 women were murdered sometime earlier, so they went out to search for us.. sorry, that was random. :rolleyes:

be cautious and aware of your surroundings at all times. look around, walk with fast paces and with good posture.

[kasia]

i used to live in a pretty ghetto neighborhood during my first year of law school. even my apt manager thought that it was strange that i would live there by myself, so he insisted on giving me the parking space closest to the elevator. at night, after studying late at law school, i would drive home, park, run to the elevator, take the elevator, and run to my apartment--all the while with my pepper spray on hand. i had a tazor gun inside my apt too--which my ex had bought me after seeing my neighborhood and freaking out. i never used it, but supposedly it can paralyze a person for a good 3 minutes. and if i shock them over and over again, i can give them permanent brain damage. :) the only problem is that i have to wait until they come fairly close before i can shock them. my plan is to use my pepper spray and tazor together.



<!--EDIT|kasia|Sep 20 2002, 08:27 AM-->

[tapestrybabe]

i've never been attacked or assaulted while walking alone at night. i guess i have one of those attitudes... this is what happens to other ppl... its not gonna happen to me. So, i really dont carry anything. and its like this.. when i walk alone at night... i dont want to have to walk with that sense of fear on my mind. altho yeah, if i do walk alone at night and i see a bunch of guys in a group together... i do have the tendancy to walk on the other side of the street from them...

also, on my campus... if its night time... and your unable to take the shuttle bus or walk with a friend to your car or something... we have an MSU Police Escort Service... you can call and get a patrol officer to meet you and escort you to your destination. i've never used it.. but maybe i should...



<!--EDIT|tapestrybabe|Sep 20 2002, 12:54 PM-->

[wylin]

good friend of mine carries a berreta 92F 9mm pistol in her purse and yes she has a liscense for that.



<!--EDIT|wylin|Sep 20 2002, 09:00 AM-->

[kasia]

Originally posted by wylin@Sep 20 2002, 05:00 PM
good friend of mine carries a berreta 92F 9mm pistol in her purse and yes she has a license for that.
sometimes...it's better to be safe than sorry. i seriously think rapists deserve the death penalty.

[nonamerasian]

I'm too chicken to go out by myself at night.

I always grab one of my brothers to go with me or I go out with at least two other people.

Sometimes I still have to go into the building by myself, though. But, usually, especially if I'm dropped off by one of my brothers or pseudo-brother-in-law, they will wait outside until I get into the apartment and wave goodbye. Sometimes call and say that they've reached home after I was dropped.

I think my building is pretty safe, but you never know.

[kboy75]

i think women have to be especially cautious, yes. but in the end it's about knowing your surroundings and being alert. pepper spray is a good thing to have. they even have it on a key chain. but of course, it's best to take preemptive measures and avoid bad situations. then again, sometimes it can't be helped.

i'm a guy and i sometimes get nervous. in college i got mugged 3 times, and i got jumped once. the time i got jumped was when i was getting money from an ATM. like 4 teenager punks ran up from behind and just started kicking the shit outta me. no serious injuries, but i lost all my money. anyhow, that whole experience made me a little more street smart.

now i'm in NYC and it still can get a bit dangerous, but you just gotta know where you are and not be venturing out to certain places at night.

in the end, if there are other people around, i'm not that nervous. i did take the subway home on the 7 train from queens several times at like 3 or 4 AM, but apparently it' snot as bad as it used to be and i saw cops walk through the cars like every 5-10 minutes. in college, if i walked home alone at like 3AM i would walk in the middle of the street.

i also try to only carry what i NEED for the night (i.e. - cash and id only)

[Tao]

i think women have to be especially cautious, yes. but in the end it's about knowing your surroundings and being alert. pepper spray is a good thing to have. they even have it on a key chain. but of course, it's best to take preemptive measures and avoid bad situations. then again, sometimes it can't be helped.

i'm a guy and i sometimes get nervous. in college i got mugged 3 times, and i got jumped once. the time i got jumped was when i was getting money from an ATM. like 4 teenager punks ran up from behind and just started kicking the shit outta me. no serious injuries, but i lost all my money. anyhow, that whole experience made me a little more street smart.

now i'm in NYC and it still can get a bit dangerous, but you just gotta know where you are and not be venturing out to certain places at night.

in the end, if there are other people around, i'm not that nervous. i did take the subway home on the 7 train from queens several times at like 3 or 4 AM, but apparently it' snot as bad as it used to be and i saw cops walk through the cars like every 5-10 minutes. in college, if i walked home alone at like 3AM i would walk in the middle of the street.

i also try to only carry what i NEED for the night (i.e. - cash and id only)
you're worried about the 7 train! please man, i've come home from studying at the library quite a few times on the 7 at 3 am. Now what would be dangerous is if you took the 4 J or Z trains at that time.....people outside of queens are wild.

[kboy75]

you're worried about the 7 train! please man, i've come home from studying at the library quite a few times on the 7 at 3 am. Now what would be dangerous is if you took the 4 J or Z trains at that time.....people outside of queens are wild.


hahah.. well, that was my point, i wasn't worried. :ninja:

[AngryABCGirl]

I have to admit I've been really incautious since I've gone to college in walking around late at night by myself, sometimes a bit buzzed back from someone's house nearby. Davis is a pretty safe place though, I dont have any qualms about being out late at night by myself biking or walking back from places by myself.

Back at home in LA I had a pepper spray in my car and sometimes I would put on a big hooded sweatshirt or something and tuck it over whenever I had to walk back to my car and pretend I was a guy if I was out somehwhere late and sketchy or always be with a buddy.

[teaz0r]

when i still worked at my
old job, i'd leave the office
really late. around 2-3am
and walked to the empty
parking lot by myself. that
wasn't too bad.

sometimes i get nervous.
especially if i take a cab
alone at 3am. cabs aren't
too safe here, there's always
a cab rape crime n' stuff.

yeah. i get nervous in cabs
at night.

[Hiroshi2]

I have to admit I've been really incautious since I've gone to college in walking around late at night by myself, sometimes a bit buzzed back from someone's house nearby. Davis is a pretty safe place though, I dont have any qualms about being out late at night by myself biking or walking back from places by myself.

Back at home in LA I had a pepper spray in my car and sometimes I would put on a big hooded sweatshirt or something and tuck it over whenever I had to walk back to my car and pretend I was a guy if I was out somehwhere late and sketchy or always be with a buddy.




I'm not sure if pretending to be a guy helps you out. I mean, dudes get jumped and mugged too. But I guess that's worse than being raped.............

[boredlikewah]

i live in a pretty safe neighborhood. unless im scared that an old man and his wife are gonna jock me, im not too cautious. that'll probably change when i leave for college though. hmm.. we'll see.

[kasia]

i think it's pretty much a settled fact that women have to me more cautious than men when we're walking around at night - especially when we're alone or accompanied by other women.

doesn't this speak to where we, as a group, stand in society?

many organizations have Women Take Back the Night marches annually. i find them to be very inspirational. humor my idealism here, but imagine a society where we can walk around safely at any time of the day without the fear of sexual assault. keep in mind, many rapists commit rape not because they are horny - but because they need to exert their power over women. i think envisioning a better society is important.

below is an example of such a march. google the name of your city + 'women take back the night' to see when the local march takes place in your area. let me know if any of you would consider participating or have participated.

************************

Hundreds of Women Reclaim the Night
by Movement • Monday September 23, 2002 at 07:39 PM


On Saturday, September 21st, hundreds of Calgary women marches the streets in the annual Take Back the Night march.

Last Saturday, September 21st, the streets of the Beltline filled with hundreds of women protesting patriarchy, subjegation and fear as well as celebrating their equality, strength and their right to walk the streets at night without men.

The annual Take Back the Night march began at sunset in Memorial Park with a rally and speeches, before the four-hundred or so women headed out onto the street. They marched along 12th Avenue and 8th Street, and then turned east down 17th Avenue, moving along through late-night traffic and chanting "Women, united, can never be defeated!" Chauvinist police officers that the city had sent to watch over the action made sexist remarks about the march, and were greeted by handfulls of literature and calls from the marchers to "show some respect."

The people of Calgary were more receptive and several bystanders joined the march partway through after they found out what was happening.

The march ended back in Memorial Park with a vigil, including candles, singing and a round dance to pay respect to native women who have suffered from sexism, often fed by racism.

The vigil ended around 10 P.M. and the participants dispersed, ending another successful march. The police dispersed too, and as they did, many of them found their police cars covered in stickers that the marchers had placed on them while the pigs had been busy making sexist jokes.

- Movement

[Kuchana]

do you ever do it? do you ever have to walk to your car alone after school or work? do you ever have to take the bus home alone at night? does it make you nervous or not really?

i've done it lots of times and i probably shouldn't have for most of those times. this occured at my school and i didn't think nothing of it until i started hearing about incidents where guys would pick some girls off who were walking by themselves and rape them. i had second thoughts after that and tried to take a buddy with me if i could. if not, i made sure to look around me and to be cautious.

[sOrr1ez]

(Originally Posted by kasia):

do you ever do it? do you ever have to walk to your car alone after school or work? do you ever have to take the bus home alone at night? does it make you nervous or not really?
i've done it... well two times.. well it wasn't pretty... :frown:

[artsfartsyjanet]

in college, i would have friends or guy friends walk me to my car. sometimes, i go to my car alone but i'm like a night owl... looking everywhere before i go out and everywhere before i enter my car. at home, i'm pretty safe, but i still look out.

[missmeow]

Whoah. Good topic.

I'm ultra cautious. I avoid being in desolate places in the dark, try to park near lights, and try to watch which directions the shadows fall. But I do take professional development courses downtown and use mass trans to get there and back. Those always end at night.

Sometimes, I carry a knife. I used to be friends with one of the family members at Al Mar knives. She gave me a wicked looking punchblade. The reality is that I would never even want to use it, but I do carry it occasionally.

Sorry if I'm not too coherent. I'm paying some bills online right now.

I'd be weary of carrying a knife or any weapon unless you know how to use it. You can easily be disarmed and the knife used on you.

[Blue dice]

I'm not sure if pretending to be a guy helps you out. I mean, dudes get jumped and mugged too. But I guess that's worse than being raped.............
It's true, I carry a firearm (H&K USP .45 compact loaded with hydroshocks) somewhat illegally in some places I feel are dangerous. There's way too many incidences of mugging, racial assault, random battery, etc.. these days for me not to be careful. Anyone trying to attack me will get popped, simple as that. Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

[missmeow]

I'll be honest and say that I am very cautious when I am in unfamiliar settings. I am also cautious when I am in my own area, but I do go out at night. I do most of my grocery shopping after 10pm (unless I go to Trader Joe's, then it's around 7pm). People think I am nuts for it, but I know the stores well, I park in front with ample light. Now, if I am staying someplace where I don't know the neighboorhood, I don't care if it's La Canada or Watts, I just usually stay home or am super cautious becuase I don't know the area, the people, the feel of everything so I can't tell if something is off or doesn't belong. I'm sure that doesn't make any sense, but that's how I feel.

[mr. x]

this is somewhat offtopic but i remember flipping to HBO really quick and Sex in the City was on. anyway it was the part where whats her name gets mugged and the guy steals her shoes and she bitches about it. and im thinking she coulda got raped so wtf is she complaining about. but yeah it kinda made me wonder just how "realistic" this show is

[rice cracker]

I tend to avoid areas where I would feel uncomfortable walking alone at night. If I must venture forth in these areas I'm fairly comfortable that I would be able to put up enough of a screaming cat fight to deter anything more than a purse snatching or attempted mugging. *sharpens nails*

[rice cracker]

deleted post

10 points for the stupid comment.

[moJo]

i never walk anywhere alone at night. it's never necessary, cuz when i go out, i'm with my friends. i used to grocery shop at 2am in college, but always with guy buddies. i don't think my chick friends woulda been okay with just us girls going.

i think i'm usually pretty cautious about my surroundings, even during the day. where i work, it's a pretty sketchy neighborhood, even during the day. drunks, druggies, panhandlers, etc...they get kinda rowdy, and leer sometimes, but nothing's ever happened, physically. however, it's gotten me into the habit of keeping my eye sand ears open at all times, in any area.

[Oblivious]

Well for sure, I won't even walk across the street from my apt in ghetto Strong Beach. I just walk to my car parked in the garage. And I'm never alone when it's late.

Recently, my co-worker caught some dude in his car trying to rip out his deck. It was about 10ish at night. It again reminds me that I'm never safe even if it feels safe. I'm always so naive and Oblivious to my surroundings. But I'm getting better nowadays. I always make sure I have my car keys in hand before leaving the building, take a good look around me while walking to my car, and lock the doors first thing after getting into the car.

I know I can't always rely on being with someone late at night. I'm sure there will definitely be an instance when I'm walking alone at night. So I'm really thinking about getting a mace/pepper spray. I've never used one of those before and would probably spray my own eyes out if ever there was a use for it since I'm so panicky. (>_\)

[Faithless]

I used to jog real early in the morning, and I was always surprised to see this petite Asian gal jogging at the same time in the morning. 5:00 AM, friends, by herself.

I was impressed and scared for her at the same time.

[ModernLogic]

do you ever do it? do you ever have to walk to your car alone after school or work? do you ever have to take the bus home alone at night? does it make you nervous or not really?

I do it all the time when I study in late at the library. And honestly, sometimes I get really scared. So what I do is I just think about girls... for some reason, that takes my mind off of my fear.

[Kuchana]

You know, it'd be hand to know self-defense in certain situations. Unfortunately my knowledge of aikido has lapsed :(

[applehead]

i not scared of walking alone at night.
i should be, though.
i'm more scared of public restrooms.
i just HATE public restrooms.

[artsfartsyjanet]

i hate public restrooms too.... i try not to go into the public restrooms at one of the universities in st.louis b/c a person was murdered there.... i don't go to a restroom alone especially if there's not a lot of people in the building.

[Barbs]

as my co-worker commented, as women, we're always living in fear. men simply can't understand that feeling of pervasive fear when walking alone in a dark parking lot and you hear the sound of footsteps behind you.

[kasia]

i not scared of walking alone at night.
i should be, though.
i'm more scared of public restrooms.
i just HATE public restrooms.

lift your feet up while you pee. so they won't be able to grab them. it will also prepare you to stomp on any hands.

hang your purse up on the lower hook. so they won't be able to reach over and take it so easily.

[applehead]

lift your feet up while you pee. so they won't be able to grab them. it will also prepare you to stomp on any hands.

WHAT?!?!
kasie!
oh great. now another irrational thought
running through my head while i piss.
i'm a hover-er.
for a second there, i was wondering
how the hell i would pee with my feet up.

[kasia]

I used to jog real early in the morning, and I was always surprised to see this petite Asian gal jogging at the same time in the morning. 5:00 AM, friends, by herself.

I was impressed and scared for her at the same time.

mmm...not a good idea.

my friend was jogging in her neighborhood last year - she lives in monterey park, fairly safe area - and this guy jogged up behind her and groped her, then ran away.

[kasia]

You know, it'd be hand to know self-defense in certain situations. Unfortunately my knowledge of aikido has lapsed :(

i believe - and this is only my belief - that it will make a difference if you walking around *as though* you knew martial arts. just the way that you carry yourself, you know? it may serve as a deterrent.

[Faithless]

mmm...not a good idea.

my friend was jogging in her neighborhood last year - she lives in monterey park, fairly safe area - and this guy jogged up behind her and groped her, then ran away.

Damn. I haven't seen this gal in a while on the road, so I hope she's running later in the day.

There's a sad trade off, though:
Early morning - no traffic/cars on the road.
Later - Traffic and many cars on the road.

[Kuchana]

Damn. I haven't seen this gal in a while on the road, so I hope she's running later in the day.

Uh Oh....symptoms of a stalker :eek: :tongue:


i believe - and this is only my belief - that it will make a difference if you walking around *as though* you knew martial arts. just the way that you carry yourself, you know? it may serve as a deterrent.

Yeah well I haven't been able to pull that off quite yet. Still practicing :smile:

[>:^|]

lift your feet up while you pee. so they won't be able to grab them. it will also prepare you to stomp on any hands.

hang your purse up on the lower hook. so they won't be able to reach over and take it so easily.

In my office building there was this guy quite perverse
Who looked at women in the bathroom, nothing worse
My male boss thought this a joke
Till he got peeped at by this bloke
And his opinion quickly went into reverse. :wink:

True story.

[>:^|]

At the time, my boss was taking a dump
So he wanted to scream and to jump
But he could only sit there
Sans underwear
Feeling exposed like a chump.

[mr. x]

wait why did he peep your male boss?

kasia, damn that sucks i mean its like u duno what to think when something like that happens. Did she tell the police?

[darkguard]

You all better be damn hot first to be scared

[Kuchana]

You all better be damn hot first to be scared

are you kidding me?? all the yw chicks are da*n hot buster :rolleyes:

[applehead]

You all better be damn hot first to be scared

what the hell does that have to do with
feeling unsafe at night?
a rapist or a murderer don't give a flying fuck
if you're attractive or not.
they don't do it out of lust.

[mr. x]

what the hell does that have to do with
feeling unsafe at night?
a rapist or a murderer don't give a flying fuck
if you're attractive or not.
they don't do it out of lust.

and if u dont believe that

see Prison

[missmeow]

i believe - and this is only my belief - that it will make a difference if you walking around *as though* you knew martial arts. just the way that you carry yourself, you know? it may serve as a deterrent.

I've heard that from numerous sources. Women who carry themselves like they have a pair are less likely to be a target. The people who target women are usually looking for women who are the least likely to put up a fight or scream, so they look for women who walk with their head down, averting their eyes, etc.

[dorkus malorkus]

I usually walk to my car by myself at night especially at school. It does get really scary. The garages are have very lil lighting and calling the university pd takes forever and a day. I also live in East San Jose, so thats not the greatest thing. So yeah, I'm always extra careful coming home late at night.

[purezero]

Man, I'm rather eh about walking around at night. Maybe because I live in a town where rarely anything happens (at least so I think). I've snuck out before to go get snacks at the grocery store plenty of times before late at night. I think I've been followed by someone in a car before, but I cut through the shopping center to get away. Sometimes I walk out to the beach and stuff not really that scared. I've been in the city late at night or out in Oakland by myself (while waiting for rides). It's only then I would be kind of nervous. But the town I live in? Nah... Not really.

[darkguard]

Still if you look horrible
Rapists will think twice
It is your own fault for dressing to attract men
I always dress to attract women
so if they want to rape me
and want to sexually assault my solid ass
I don't blame the women

[applehead]

again, rape isn't about lust.
it's about power and control.

just because you dress to attract
women doesn't mean that other women
dress to attract men.
i have other attributes of my own i'd rather
use to attract the opposite sex.
too bad, you're not so lucky.

[achtungbaby]

Still if you look horrible
Rapists will think twice
It is your own fault for dressing to attract men
I always dress to attract women
so if they want to rape me
and want to sexually assault my solid ass
I don't blame the womenThat's some fantastic logic there. Support a society and culture that values objectifying 'em, and if they happen to get too sucked into wanting acceptance, rape them and tell them it's their fault.

[Faithless]

again, rape isn't about lust.
it's about power and control.
As an aside, I've lately wondered by people say that it is one and not the other. I would say that it can be a combination of both.

I'm sure there are those that wouldn't have entertained rape unless they, in a moment of lust, picked their victim because of some sexual trigger. (I'm sure that this is not always the case, but I gotta believe that it has to be in some instances).