Being candidate's wife vs. being a candidate

[Faithless]

So, what's tougher: being a candidate's wife or being a candidate?

Article highlight: It's now easier for a woman to be a candidate than a candidate's wife. Easier to be judged for yourself than to have every move you make, every breath you take, calibrated for its effect on your husband.

Ultimate test of love (http://www.cincypost.com/2004/07/27/ellen072704.html)
BOSTON -- Of all my campaign 2004 memories, one of the fondest is from November when the Democratic candidates at a New Hampshire debate were asked the wife question. What role would the first lady play in your administration?
The twice-married, twice-divorced Dennis Kucinich brought the house down when he said that "as a bachelor I get a chance to fantasize about my first lady." He then proceeded to do just that. He fantasized about "a working partner ... a dynamic, outspoken woman," who was also "fearless in her desire for peace in the world, for universal single-payer health care and a full-employment economy." And after one deep breath, he added: "If you're out there, call me."

John Kerry then quipped that we had just heard the "first presidential personal advertisement." Maybe, said Kucinich, "Fox would like to sponsor a national contest or something."

Welcome now to the convention and to the reality show, "Who Wants to Marry a Presidential Candidate?"

Want to have your life scrutinized 24/7? Want to have your wardrobe, hair, weight, shape, age, wrinkles (and lack thereof) a matter of national discussion? Want to have your marriage analyzed free of charge and free of fact? Do you look forward to a substantive contest between your pumpkin spice cookies and your opponent's chocolate chip cookies? Sweetheart, have we got a guy for you.

In the Democratic primary season, the wives included a doctor, a lawyer, a foundation chairman, a general's wife, moms at home and moms at work. The good news was that they reflected a large range of choices that are now open to women. The bad news was that whatever choice a woman made, she was going to get trashed.

Need we recall the Iowa primary when Judy Steinberg Dean was labeled a political refusenik as if she were back home in Vermont nursing grievances instead of patients? Her husband didn't "require her to be a prop." Still, this down-to-earth woman was transformed into a weirdo wife who wouldn't even take the time to prop her hubby up.

The treatment of Dr./Mrs. Steinberg/Dean was so embarrassing -- good reporters behaving badly -- that I thought it would provide some immunity for the rest. Then Teresa Heinz Kerry appeared on Newsweek magazine with the cover line "Loose Cannon Or Crazy Like a Fox?" What, no third choice?

Since then, Teresa has been described as refreshing and flaky, forthright and impolitic, outspoken and too outspoken, opinionated and too opinionated. The only good thing was being cast as "sultry" at 65.

In turn, she has said that "none of us are perfect and my imperfections are easy to see, but I don't want to be bottled. I'm not ketchup." Nevertheless we have 57 varieties of commentary on everything from her independence of thought to her independence of pocketbook.

Presidential politics have focused on first wives since Eleanor Roosevelt accepted the nomination for FDR in 1940. They've been a campaign staple since 1960 when the Nixon camp passed out "I'm for Pat" buttons to combat the Jackie effect.

The attention racheted up in 1992 with Hillary, Love Her or Hate Her. It went into full gear in 1996 when Hillary and Liddy Dole were featured on the cover of a magazine duking it out for their guys.

Both Hillary and Liddy are now senators. Do I hear "Survivor" anyone? But this week Hillary's only prime time appearance will be a reprise of the role of former first lady introducing her husband.

It's worth noting that the least controversial woman in the 2004 campaign is the most cautious. The one woman with immunity from the modern media is the most traditional. Indeed the only thing that makes Laura Bush testy is when she's labeled a 1950s first lady.

It's now easier for a woman to be a candidate than a candidate's wife. Easier to be judged for yourself than to have every move you make, every breath you take, calibrated for its effect on your husband.

Political handlers will tell you that a spouse humanizes a candidate. But how come he can't do this for himself? And what does this do to his wife. Dehumanize her?

It's no wonder that Dennis couldn't find a fantasy figure while he was running. Who Wants to Marry a Presidential Candidate? Somehow this reminds me of another reality show. Maybe it's "The Ultimate Love Test"? Or is it "Fear Factor"?
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A candidate's wife tells reporter to "shove it!" (http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5526859/)

[kitty]

perhaps unrelated, perhaps not, but who gives a flying fuck if a candidate's wife told a nagging reporter to stfu? my only quibble would be that she shoulda told him to stfu if he was obviously wrong, not denying that she said something that could later be quoted and prove her obviously off her rocker.

[Faithless]

I think your comment is related.

There sure is a difference in approach to being a candidate's wife between - first lady Bush, and Teresa Heinz.

Heinz is more refreshing and outspoken, like Hilary.

I want a copy of the Heinz .wav file when it starts circulating around the web.

She certainly isn't going to curb her personality because her husband is running for President.

[ChinaLama]

Yeah but Teresa Heinz Kerry is campaigning FOR her husband; she's not just doing whatever she wants. If she wants to help him win the White House, then she should expect to be scrutinized.

[applehead]

perhaps unrelated, perhaps not, but who gives a flying fuck if a candidate's wife told a nagging reporter to stfu?
hahahaha. i totally agree with you.
they're making a mountain out of a molehill.

candidate's wives must have a hard time dealing
with the public scrutiny. after all, it wasn't their choice
to want to be in the spotlight. they're supporting their
husbands.

And what does this do to his wife. Dehumanize her?
in some ways the wife is being used to further his public
image. she makes him seem more down to earth and
helps the public feel some kind of connection with
another family man. but i think saying that this dehumanizes her
is just stupid. seems like it's some kind of tactic
used by the writer to receive reader attention.

[Kuchana]

Yeah but Teresa Heinz Kerry is campaigning FOR her husband; she's not just doing whatever she wants. If she wants to help him win the White House, then she should expect to be scrutinized.

I concur. If she can't deal with the limelight then get her to be more civil about her words and actions.

Frankly, I'm cynical of political wives campaigning for their husbands. It's all part of the political campaigning as far as I'm concerned.

And I do think that Teresa Heinz's comment was hypocritcal considering she had just mentioned before that she wanted a "civil" campaign then she tells a reporter to shove it? Oh yeah pretty civil there. And then pegging the reporter as part of the right-wing media out to get her? Come on please. How do you expect to carry on a civil interaction if you don't treat each other with respect? That reporter wasn't being disrespectful as far as I'm concerned. They were merely asking Teresa Heinz to elaborate on her comment.

[kasia]

great topic. moving to women's.

[bluemonq]

I concur. If she can't deal with the limelight then get her to be more civil about her words and actions.

erm...about that...

"...major league asshole" - bush describing to cheney adam clymer, from the ny times

"fuck you" - cheney during a session of the senate, can't remember who or what it was about, but it was pretty big.

neither of them retracts their statement; in fact, cheney said he felt pretty good about it.
neither suffer any lasting consequences.

remember when bush said that he was going to bring a new era of "maturity and propriety" to the white house? actually this may be an improvement for mrs. kerry; she seemed pretty, i don't know, cold earlier on.

[Kuchana]

erm...about that...

"...major league asshole" - bush describing to cheney adam clymer, from the ny times

"fuck you" - cheney during a session of the senate, can't remember who or what it was about, but it was pretty big.

neither of them retracts their statement; in fact, cheney said he felt pretty good about it.
neither suffer any lasting consequences.

remember when bush said that he was going to bring a new era of "maturity and propriety" to the white house? actually this may be an improvement for mrs. kerry; she seemed pretty, i don't know, cold earlier on.

LOL I recall that event about cheney quite clearly. And what's this about Bush calling Adam Clymer an a**hole? Was this a private conversation? And if it was, I wouldn't find it surprising. However, saying it in public is a different matter altogether. No matter the political affiliation, I would still find that individual's use of language in a vulgar manner offensive and yeah the same goes for Cheney, too. Not a fan of his by the way. That f word he used was unnecessary. The least he could have done was to apologize to the senator that he said it to.

I think it's important to hold anyone, regardless of political parties, accountable for their words and actions.

[thaite]

If that's how Mrs. Ketchup wants to behave in the limelight, then she should step back out of it, otherwise she'll deserves all the criticism she's going to get and that won't help her husband one bit.

The press operate as the representative of the people and in the public interest. Most people in the US don't have the kind of access the press does to government. When public figures treat the press with contempt, they are treating the public with that same contempt and should be held accountable.

Mrs. Ketchup was asked to elaborate on something she said, which she then categorically denied saying -- a lie which was proven on film. Instead of an explanation, she jumped on the reporter.

Wow. That's the kind of classy woman I want for our First Lady.

[bluemonq]

And what's this about Bush calling Adam Clymer an a**hole? Was this a private conversation?
i believe it was during the 2002 campaign season right before a press conference...right into a mike...which happened to be on.

edit: it was during the 2000 season...when he was running for president!
http://archive.salon.com/politics/feature/2000/09/04/cuss_word/
cheney followed it up with, "Yeah, big time." nice little surprise at the end of the article.

[ism]

"fuck you" - cheney during a session of the senate, can't remember who or what it was about, but it was pretty big.

It was "Go fuck yourself" to Sen. Patrick Leahy, who was questioning him over his ties to Halliburton. I think there's a big difference between the second-in-command of this nation answering allegations of impropriety by dropping the F-bomb on a Senator, and the wife of a Congressman saying "shove off" to a reporter. For some reason Cheney was being "assertive" and Heinz is being "opinionated," and the only thing that seems to make a difference is what kind of package they have between their legs.

[hooligan]

It was "Go fuck yourself" to Sen. Patrick Leahy, who was questioning him over his ties to Halliburton. I think there's a big difference between the second-in-command of this nation answering allegations of impropriety by dropping the F-bomb on a Senator, and the wife of a Congressman saying "shove off" to a reporter. For some reason Cheney was being "assertive" and Heinz is being "opinionated," and the only thing that seems to make a difference is what kind of package they have between their legs.
They were talking about this on NPR, how women in power don't have the same stereotypes as their male counterparts. Heinz Kerry comes off as opinionated, while Cheney assertive. What's wrong with this picture?

[Kuchana]

It was "Go fuck yourself" to Sen. Patrick Leahy, who was questioning him over his ties to Halliburton. I think there's a big difference between the second-in-command of this nation answering allegations of impropriety by dropping the F-bomb on a Senator, and the wife of a Congressman saying "shove off" to a reporter. For some reason Cheney was being "assertive" and Heinz is being "opinionated," and the only thing that seems to make a difference is what kind of package they have between their legs.

Both Cheney's and Heinz's comments were uncalled for, Cheney's being worse. It's not a matter of being assertive but rude for both.

[kimpossible]

Did anyone catch her speech at the Democratic National Convention? She was greatly overshadowed by Barack Obama's speech (helluva speech, eh?) but I learned quite a bit about her. Fluent in 5 languages.

[ism]

Another speech at the DNC: 12 year old girl says Cheney needs a "timeout" (http://www.clickondetroit.com/politics/3586315/detail.html)

BOSTON -- A 12-year-old girl from California nearly upstaged some long-time Democratic leaders on the second night of the party's convention in Boston.

Ilana Wexler won a speaking role for launching a Web site called kidsforkerry.org. She described Kerry as a "hero to America" and a "great and positive role model."

But she clearly doesn't feel the same way about Vice President Dick Cheney.

Wexler told delegates that she'd heard about Cheney's heated exchange with Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor -- during which Cheney used what the 12-year-old calls "a really bad word." She said if she used that word herself, she'd get a "timeout" -- and she thinks that's what should happen to Cheney.

[Faithless]

Ilana Wexler, what a kid! From Oakland, I understand -- not the Oakland that neighbors Berkeley?

Here's a young female that, if she ever gets married, will be one outspoken candidate or candidate's wife.

[kasia]

does a candidate's husband matter as much as a candidate's wife? why is it always that, in campaigns, the wife is scrutinized but the husband is often out of the picture?