APA women most likely against d.v. arrests

[kasia]

a study to done in los angeles county and a number of stats were released. i will bring them up one at a time so that we can have a full discussion on each trend.

the first: asian american women are the group least likely - when the police are called - to ask for their husbands to be arrested. this is as opposed to white, black, and latina women. latina women, on the other hand, are the group most likely to ask to have their husbands taken away. what do you think is the cause of our unwillingness to teach our husbands a lesson? are we more afraid or more controlled by our husbands than women of other races? are we afraid that it will disgrace the family? what is it?

and what are the implications of this? does it mean that the men feel empowered and the abuse continues and escalates to extreme levels of violence? does this mean that abuse against asian women are typically more severe? your thoughts, please.

[princess]

i cant speak for asian females in general. i personally think i would have a harder time asking for my spouse to be arrested because i grew up in family and community where divorce is not an option, let alone reporting ur spouse for arrest. my family and closest, oldest family friends tend to agree that its better not to rock the boat.
if i were to try to figure out what stops asian women in general, id say that in such a closeknit community, it would be considered a disgrace to the family that turned over one of its own. theres a strict sense of family responsibility and accountability. a lot of problems and personal issues are suppressed because its important to keep up a certain appearance. one of the first things i often hear people say is, "what will people say?"
in instances of abuse, i think women in general often would rather continue the situation as it is than have to deal with the consequences and difficulties that would follow an arrest. plus, in situations of abuse women tend to feel powerless and believe that any action they take will still result in her still being stuck in the abuser's grip. i dont think anyone relishes the thought of being tagged as a "victim." its a power issue, with the male having an unspoken, mental sense of power over the female.
in typical abuse situations, mens feelings of power tend to grow larger as they realize they can push their limits a little bit more each time and not have to face severe consequences. i think the imbalance of power leads to a sense of ownership. in general, i think the severity of the abuse is not dependent on race. its more tied to the chemistry of a particular relationship.

[kasia]

in typical abuse situations, mens feelings of power tend to grow larger as they realize they can push their limits a little bit more each time and not have to face severe consequences. i think the imbalance of power leads to a sense of ownership. in general, i think the severity of the abuse is not dependent on race. its more tied to the chemistry of a particular relationship.

great input, but interestingly enough, it brings me to the next trend. although asian women are the least likely to have their husbands arrested, asian men in d.v. call situations are the most likely to be arrested.

there are two proposed reasons for this:
1) the severity of the abuse (which likely is the outcome of the fact that most APA women hold off on calling the police until their life is on the line - jeezus), and
2) the asian men, as opposed to men of other races, tend not to flee once the cops are called.

[princess]

the first definitely makes sense to me. the violence gets worse as time goes on, so i could see how police would be likely to haul the abuser away.

the second......i wonder why thats so. im not doubting you. its just something to think about. not that im endorsing fleeing since i think its unwise. if i were to try to explain that i would think that maybe its because a lot of the time abusers will only push around women or the specific person theyre abusing because they know they can get away with it. abusers wont provoke fights with other males or people who are more of a physical match or challenge because they know they wont walk away in very good condition. so maybe they know that once some law enforcement figure is in there, they might as well surrender to the situation? like shrinking in the presence of someone who will take charge of the situation and has more authority.

[kasia]

the second......i wonder why thats so. im not doubting you. its just something to think about. not that im endorsing fleeing since i think its unwise. if i were to try to explain that i would think that maybe its because a lot of the time abusers will only push around women or the specific person theyre abusing because they know they can get away with it. abusers wont provoke fights with other males or people who are more of a physical match or challenge because they know they wont walk away in very good condition. so maybe they know that once some law enforcement figure is in there, they might as well surrender to the situation? like shrinking in the presence of someone who will take charge of the situation and has more authority.

it's just the stats from the police stations, so i don't mind if you think the information is inaccurate. it certainly may be. however, i think the second reason that they are arrested (i.e., b/c they don't flee) is due in part to the fact that asian couples tend to be married (as opposed to the couples of other ethnicities). also, and this is just my opinion, but many asians may think that it is their responsibility to stay once the police are called.

[moser]

Does the data suggest a particular "trait" among Asian women who ask that their husbands don't get arrested (i.e. are they mostly first generation immigrants or more "Americanized", are they usually of a certain ethnicity, is it mainly with IR couples or Asian-Asian couples, what's the language proficiency, social-economic status of the women, etc.)

My random guess is that the Asian women don't have as strong of a support system (in terms of community) that they could go to in order to leave the situation.

[princess]

i also think being in a reallie close community where gossip tends to fly around like none other would hinder women from seeking help. i guess by close i dont mean morally supportive. im thinking of small communities where everyone is in everyone elses business.

[applehead]

shame is probably the biggest reason.
you can cover bruises with make-up, invent
accidents for broken bones, not show
up for work and say you have a cold but when
you have your husband arrested it'll be hard to cover up.
your friends will find out, your family, his family,
your children's teachers, his co-workers etc.
and i think a lot of this shame is due to the women
feeling like she failed at having a successful marriage,
not being the victim of domestic violence.

even for me i've always felt embarassed telling
my family that things didn't work out with a past
SO or when they find out that we're no longer together.

and constantly covering up for your husband's violent
behaviour can only do harm. i believe that his violent
nature can be eliminated or at least, controlled with
proper therapy.
i'm wondering if the women in the stats were raised
in the states or in their native country. i have a feeling
they were raised in asia where they view receiving therapy
and psychological help as very negative.