prenups

[kasia]

i don't agree with the idea behind them and probably won't have one when i get married. if he takes everything, then so be it. <_<

what is your take?

[artsfartsyjanet]

I think a lot of people need prenups because women have it worse when they're going through a divorce...financially that is. If the woman has a higher income than her partner, that the same goes with the male. So, she mine as well keep what she started with.... Then again, I'm a hypocrite b/c divorce to me isn't much of an option when I'm married UNLESS the dude's abusive. In other words, prenups are a "don't know" category for me right now. I'm still examining the arguments..... ;)



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 15 2002, 07:31 PM-->

[deez nuts]

I'm all for the pre-nup. I'm also all for separate bank accounts too.

[angel nympho]

takes the trust out of marriage. if you get a prenup, you're pretty much admitting that there's a big change that you'll get a divorce. i'd be insulted if my husband wanted one.

[angel nympho]

oh, and there's nothing wrong with having separate bank accounts n stuff. if i was to divorce, i wouldnt want his money or his shit anyway. i'd want to survive off my own means.

[kasia]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 12:29 AM
I'm all for the pre-nup. I'm also all for separate bank accounts too.
you're like that guy in joy luck club!!

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by kasia@Sep 15 2002, 07:37 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 12:29 AM
I'm all for the pre-nup. &nbsp;I'm also all for separate bank accounts too.
you're like that guy in joy luck club!!
Yes but it's not like I wanna split everyting exactly 50/50. I really don't care who pays for what. And I won't be splitting the cost of the kibbles n treat bill for the family dog.

You know a joint bank account, and our own personal bank accounts. I just want my own bank account for my own reasons of insecurity (and a secret one so the evil wifey can't get to it!)

[kasia]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 01:16 AM
Originally posted by kasia@Sep 15 2002, 07:37 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 12:29 AM
I'm all for the pre-nup. I'm also all for separate bank accounts too.
you're like that guy in joy luck club!!
Yes but it's not like I wanna split everyting exactly 50/50. I really don't care who pays for what. And I won't be splitting the cost of the kibbles n treat bill for the family dog.

You know a joint bank account, and our own personal bank accounts. I just want my own bank account for my own reasons of insecurity (and a secret one so the evil wifey can't get to it!)
we don't have to get into this if it's personal.

but if you would like to answer:

why would you need separate bank accounts? shouldn't you be able to trust your wife?

[deez nuts]

I just want some sort of safety net. And I have this sinking feeling that in my lifetime I will be divorced once, and a nasty one at that. I have no clue why, it's just a gut feeling.



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Sep 15 2002, 09:20 PM-->

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by kasia@Sep 16 2002, 01:31 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 01:16 AM
Originally posted by kasia@Sep 15 2002, 07:37 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 12:29 AM
I'm all for the pre-nup. I'm also all for separate bank accounts too.
you're like that guy in joy luck club!!
Yes but it's not like I wanna split everyting exactly 50/50. I really don't care who pays for what. And I won't be splitting the cost of the kibbles n treat bill for the family dog.

You know a joint bank account, and our own personal bank accounts. I just want my own bank account for my own reasons of insecurity (and a secret one so the evil wifey can't get to it!)
we don't have to get into this if it's personal.

but if you would like to answer:

why would you need separate bank accounts? shouldn't you be able to trust your wife?
I would want separate bank accounts (a private one that he wouldn't know about) so that on our golden anniversary I can suprise him with a trip to the same place, same room that we honeymooned. =) Stuff like that. That's what I'd use my own little bank account for. Oh yeah, and just in case I need something to fall back on. It's.. in case of... life, I guess. Cuz shit happens. What if he dies and I need something to send my kids to college with!

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by kasia@Sep 15 2002, 05:31 PM


You know a joint bank account, and our own personal bank accounts. I just want my own bank account for my own reasons of insecurity (and a secret one so the evil wifey can't get to it!)
we don't have to get into this if it's personal.

but if you would like to answer:

why would you need separate bank accounts? shouldn't you be able to trust your wife?[/quote]
Separate bank accounts are a good thing. It has more to do with individual responsibility and freedom for spending smaller amounts of money than a trust issue. I don't want to balance every $5 he spends on meals at work and I don't want to explain every $5 I spend on whatever.

We have two other joint accounts outside our of our individual accounts. One is for bill paying, the other is for investments. All together, we have four. I'd go bonkers if we only had one account.

[mrazntre]

wives rape the shit out of their husbands when they divorce. even moreso when there are kids involved. PRENUP is a must.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by mrazntre@Sep 16 2002, 05:00 AM
wives rape the shit out of their husbands when they divorce. even moreso when there are kids involved. PRENUP is a must.
^-- He's right ya know. Another reason why I don't want a prenup... LOL




[edit: i still strongly believe, though, that if you have confidence that your marriage will work, it's kind of... insulting... to bring up the issue. i mean, yeah sure, better safe than sorry.... but i want to marry somebody who absolutely without a shadow of a doubt wants to spend the REST OF OUR LIVES making each other happy.]



<!--EDIT|angel nympho|Sep 16 2002, 05:04 AM-->

[deez nuts]

Yah it's not about giving the marriage a chance before it even gets started. I won't be offended if my wifey has a separate bank account.

It's pretty common practice amongst my friends.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 12:12 PM
Yah it's not about giving the marriage a chance before it even gets started. I won't be offended if my wifey has a separate bank account.

It's pretty common practice amongst my friends.
Yeah, I wouldn't be offended by that either, but a prenup is an entirely separate concept. I figure, if you have separate bank accounts in addition to a joint, you can figure out your differences on your own without a prenup. ..I mean, hopefully the person you choose to marry won't end up being so unreasonable that they want to take EVERYTHING from you.

[kimpossible]

To answer on topic> No, I wouldn't sign one. I would take it as a personal affront to my honor and character, and that of my family's.

[deez nuts]

To take the pressure of the guys. If you're loaded and very well off and marrying a poor man. Would you as a wife make your potential husband sign a pre-nup?

I'm all for a pre-nup, regardless.

But what if you're the rich woman about to marry someone poor?



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Sep 16 2002, 05:01 PM-->

[amietron]

I'd sign one. Given Doc's example, it'd be to prove in writing that I do love him regardless of his financial stance. Kind of a way of saying (for the both of us) "see? it's not your money that i'm after. it's your heart, your love."

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 09:42 PM
But what if you're the rich woman about to marry someone poor?
Then I'm sure he wouldn't ask. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't marry somebody I didn't think I was going to spend the rest of my life with anyway, so... I just don't see a point.

I'm not a big fan of divorce, as it is. I'd rather just try to work something out... especially since I hope to get married after years of dating, living together, being engaged... I mean, by then, I'm sure you'll figure out if you're going to be compatible the rest of your lives.

..So I guess you could call all the years I plan to put into the relationship before a marriage my.. "prenup." I mean, I'm not about to waste all the work I put into the relationship!

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 16 2002, 01:42 PM
To take the pressure of the guys. If you're loaded and very well off and marrying a poor man. Would you as a wife make your potential husband sign a pre-nup?

I'm all for a pre-nup, regardless.

But what if you're the rich woman about to marry someone poor?
Well, I need an ambitious man. Not a corporate backstabbing bastard, but a man who values education and will strive for some sort of professional goal. He could want to be an artist, chef, whatever, but career oriented and places a high value on education.

If I had money when we married and he didn't, we'd put our resources towards his education and set him to work for a bit. If I still command a higher salary (not too much of a reality if our education is pretty equal), then I work and he stays home to take care of the kids. No problem.

And no prenup.

[Arex]

No prenup for me. The contract would simply be an acknowledgment that something might happen with the marriage. Even though the statistics show that a divorce is a very realistic possibility, that's not necessarily something I want acknowledged in writing. All that the wife would be entitled to anyway would be half of whatever we purchased during the period in which we were married. I think that's fair enough. I assume I'm not going to marry a complete bum, and even if my wife wasn't making too much money (or decided to be a housewife), I'd hope that she'd in some way still be contributing to the marriage, thus "entitling" her to her 50% share. Of course, this is also assuming she doesn't turn out to be some sort of cheatin' ho. It's also good not to have one in the event that I end up with that sugar mommy I've always dreamed of.=)


Alex

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 17 2002, 03:53 AM
Even though the statistics show that a divorce is a very realistic possibility, that's not necessarily something I want acknowledged in writing.
Werd. It's really upsetting to me that the divorce rate is so high... more than half now, right? I think it's a sign of what society is coming to these days... Everybody gets married with the idea in their minds that if it doesn't work out, they can always get a divorce. Whatever happened to BEING ABSOLUTELY SURE before you get married... or working out your problems instead of immediately filing for divorce. Although, back when divorce was taboo, it left an awful lot unhappy married people, at least it didn't encourage anybody to get married who wasn't ready for the committment. I wish there could be something in-between... where if you're genuinely unhappy after years of marriage, then divorce could be a feasible option.. but for couples who simply have issues with one another... they should learn to get along!!! I think a prerequisite of divorce should be spending a lot of time and energy in marriage counseling or something like that. At least ATTEMPTING to work it out.

Divorce has become so highly accepted and so commonplace that things like prenups are totally commonplace as well. People aren't at all put off by the thought of signing a prenup.



<!--EDIT|angel nympho|Sep 17 2002, 09:32 PM-->

[ChinaLama]

i agree w/ prenups because i DON'T agree w/ divorce. I think it's one way of screening out gold diggers anyway.

"Alimony, alimony paying your bills
when your conscience hits you just take another pill."

--Living Loving Maid, Led Zeppelin.


Well, at least she won't be taking like half my assets or anything! small consolation but better than a divorce AND bankruptcy.