The First Move

[artsfartsyjanet]

Are you more likely to make the first hug, first telephone call of the day, or first kiss when you date a guy? In the past, how has it been? For me, the guy always initiated these things. Lately, in my own little world, I've only been initiating the calls. As for hugging, we still haven't ventured into that realm yet. :rolleyes: What is your experience or what would you do? :huh:

[deez nuts]

I usually initiate, I guess I'm more aggressive. I also dated some aggressive women too, and lemme say I loved it!

But to each their own. Nuthing wrong with what're doing janet, sometimes a sistah gotta step up to bat, if the man is a little coy!

[Chris]

I am the intiator most of the time. But I get shy when it someone I really like! :lol:

[johnny]

if im the shy guy and the girl i like initiates the first move, I'll layeth the smack down on her... meaning that it's on!

[achtungbaby]

Sometimes I think Asian guys almost need to be overly aggressive to a fault. No, this doesn't mean flooding her inbox, but we gotta get past this pervasive mentality of "friend first, lover second." I probably sound like the male pig that I truly am, but y'all have heard the cliche...nice guys finish later, if not last. I think females can only withstand the endearing, "Hey, wanna-do-something-that seems-totally-platonic-but-in-reality-I-want-to-get-into-your pants" shyness.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Sep 13 2002, 01:36 AM
I think females can only withstand the endearing, "Hey, wanna-do-something-that seems-totally-platonic-but-in-reality-I-want-to-get-into-your pants" shyness.
That's exactly what I'm thinking..... jk. :D :blink:

Actually, this guy I like... I've seen or talked to him everyday for the past few weeks. In fact, I saw him today, I'll see him Friday night for Lu'au, and Saturday evening for an Art Fair with his friends. I made the initiative to invite him to tonight's asian student group reception, tomorrow and saturday's events. Funny part is that he seems VERY eager to come to all of these venues. Is it unattractive if you find a woman making the initiative or even the first move (whether it be kissing, hugging, etc)? :rolleyes:

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 12 2002, 10:47 PM
Originally posted by achtungbaby@Sep 13 2002, 01:36 AM
I think females can only withstand the endearing, "Hey, wanna-do-something-that seems-totally-platonic-but-in-reality-I-want-to-get-into-your pants" shyness.
That's exactly what I'm thinking..... jk. :D :blink:

Actually, this guy I like... I've seen or talked to him everyday for the past few weeks. In fact, I saw him today, I'll see him Friday night for Lu'au, and Saturday evening for an Art Fair with his friends. I made the initiative to invite him to tonight's asian student group reception, tomorrow and saturday's events. Funny part is that he seems VERY eager to come to all of these venues. Is it unattractive if you find a woman making the initiative or even the first move (whether it be kissing, hugging, etc)? :rolleyes:
Well I don't mean to be too judgmental on da poor guy. God knows I used the "wanna study?" crutch thoroughly in college.

re: jumping his bones to send the message...part of me sympathizes with the guy and says "yeah, give the poor, neurotic bastard a break!"...

But nahhh. I think he'll be the better for it. That's not to say I'm against women taking the initiative, just not in the cases when you get the feeling the guy isn't being...the guy. Let him be the man and step up. If he doesn't, you move on...

[kasia]

i'm pretty outgoing and talkative. i think that's initiative enough. :)

if i actually call or bug the guy a lot, it probably means i like him just as a friend. don't know why, but i become more reserved when i'm actually interested.

[Arex]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Sep 13 2002, 12:04 AM
But nahhh.  I think he'll be the better for it.  That's not to say I'm against women taking the initiative, just not in the cases when you get the feeling the guy isn't being...the guy.  Let him be the man and step up.  If he doesn't, you move on...
That's a pretty stiff penalty for the guy being overly shy or not knowing how to make the first move. And how is being denied an opportunity to have a relationship with an eligible female "better for it?" Granted, he may learn his lesson and make the appropriate changes next time around. But he still missed/was denied an opportunity that could've turned into something wonderful. And just 'cause he misses the boat on one or more occasions doesn't necessarily mean that he'll even make the appropriate changes. Hell, he may just end up alone, for eternity! That's certainly not better for it. Though I guess that's just survival of the "fittest." But not every guy has "game" or even the western ideal of "balls." But that doesn't mean the dude's not worth a girl's time or that he somehow deserves to be alone and frustrated. If more women understood this, I imagine there'd be a lot more happy couples out there. Bottom line: I think if a girl likes what she sees, she shouldn't have any reservations about taking the helm, even if it's obvious the guy's not "being the guy. To move on solely in the name of teaching the dude to grow some balls is just senseless. After all, it's ultimately the girl's own happiness at stake.

But I definitely agree with what you said above about Asian guys especially needing to step it up some. I know my being overly passive hasn't helped my present situation any. Then again, if you're like me and you rarely step it up and the few times you do, you get shot down, it's hard to maintain the same gameplan. I suppose you get desensitized after a while, but, still, that's no fun.


Alex

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 13 2002, 12:39 AM
That's a pretty stiff penalty for the guy being overly shy or not knowing how to make the first move.

I'm all about tough, callous love.

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 13 2002, 12:39 AM
And how is being denied an opportunity to have a relationship with an eligible female "better for it?"

I tend to think it can be very difficult to learn love lessons. We're either too stubborn or ignorant or star struck...whatever. Pain, however, can be the great equalizer. But you're right, not everyone is so masochistic.

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 13 2002, 12:39 AM
And just 'cause he misses the boat on one or more occasions doesn't necessarily mean that he'll even make the appropriate changes.  Hell, he may just end up alone, for eternity!

But there are just some things guys have to pick up on, I think. We may be stubborn in wanting to act however we want...but there are always some rules. I remember discussing this with a certain banned yw member, who kept insisting he was in the right by bombarding females with emails or messages, despite their repeated requests for him to shoo. I mean, ya gotta give a little.

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 13 2002, 12:39 AM
But that doesn't mean the dude's not worth a girl's time or that he somehow deserves to be alone and frustrated.  If more women understood this, I imagine there'd be a lot more happy couples out there.

I agree, not all of us are built for Miyagi's-style jockin. I think the danger that can come from females being overly aggressive is that suddenly the ball's placed in the guy's court to respond to overtures, and a lot of times, probably because most guys don't experience that very often, we suddenly get lazy or indifferent to the chase.

Of course, because we haven't discussed any hard core specifics, this is all moot. One specific example: I think she should let him do the majority of the calling at this stage.

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 13 2002, 12:39 AM
Then again, if you're like me and you rarely step it up and the few times you do, you get shot down, it's hard to maintain the same gameplan.  I suppose you get desensitized after a while, but, still, that's no fun.

That's precisely what happens, my ass is practically leather:) I think all of those nights at Karnak did it for me. It was funny...I remember thinking my friend and I were the only ones piggish enough to wander around from table to table after the lights turn on, asking girls for 'noh-rae-bang' in our broken-ass Korean, but the last time I went, shit, everyone was doing it.

Anyway, rejection is all part of it too for guys...you just have to learn that *everyone* gets rejected and it's normal. Shit, sometimes girls will reject you, regardless of taking anything about you into account...sometimes it's just a knee jerk reaction for girls. It's almost like guys are supposed to be conditioned to nudge and females to withdraw, or at least feign the widthdraw.

Am I making any sense? It's late...

[deez nuts]

My tip for the brother:

You snooze you loose.

I mean come on part if being a guy is getting shot down. Every guy has experienced it, nothing to be ashamed of.

But I guess if your a girl and you are really interested in him and brother isn't responding, make the first move <shrug>.

[amietron]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 13 2002, 08:51 AM
You snooze you loose.

But I guess if your a girl
lose rhymes with fuse!
loose rhymes with goose!
you're !

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by amietron@Sep 13 2002, 05:53 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 13 2002, 08:51 AM
You snooze you loose.

But I guess if your a girl
lose rhymes with fuse!
loose rhymes with goose!
you're !
sorry amie

I meant you snooze you loze.

[Arex]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Sep 13 2002, 05:42 AM
But there are just some things guys have to pick up on, I think. &nbsp;We may be stubborn in wanting to act however we want...but there are always some rules. &nbsp;I remember discussing this with a certain banned yw member, who kept insisting he was in the right by bombarding females with emails or messages, despite their repeated requests for him to shoo. &nbsp;I mean, ya gotta give a little.
True, there are certain "rules" that people generally adhere to in playing the dating game. But some rules, I think are more reasonable and justifiable than others. This booted YW member is too far off the charts to even be used as an example. Being shy or not really knowing how to step up is one thing. Being a complete moron that thinks stalking is the ultimate form of flattery for a woman is something else altogether. With respect to stalker-like behavior, I think everyone can agree that the "rules"call for immediate expulsion from the game altogether. On the other hand, why is it necessarily the rule that the boy/man who just happens to grow up being shy or inexperienced in love should be denied it altogether?


I agree, not all of us are built for Miyagi's-style jockin. &nbsp;I think the danger that can come from females being overly aggressive is that suddenly the ball's placed in the guy's court to respond to overtures, and a lot of times, probably because most guys don't experience that very often, we suddenly get lazy or indifferent to the chase.

...

Anyway, rejection is all part of it too for guys...you just have to learn that *everyone* gets rejected and it's normal. &nbsp;Shit, sometimes girls will reject you, regardless of taking anything about you into account...sometimes it's just a knee jerk reaction for girls. &nbsp;It's almost like guys are supposed to be conditioned to nudge and females to withdraw, or at least feign the widthdraw. &nbsp;

It's exactly this overemphasis on "the chase" that I don't understand. Though I'm slowly learning to play the game, I still don't really believe in gameplaying (which is why I literally have no game). If you like a girl and want to talk to this girl, then you should feel free to call the girl without worrying about how you're going to be perceived (short of stalker-like behavior, of course). None of this, "well, I called the last two times...I think it's time for me to just kick back and wait for her to call...gotta at least give the impression of being ambivalent...girls are irked/intrigued by ambivalence." I think if people would just be more honest and open about their feelings for one another, you'd see a lot more happy couples. Yeah, the chase can be an experience all its own (and in some cases, is often better than what you get once you finally "catch" the other person) but, call me overly practical or unromantic, ultimately, I don't think it should be about the chase at all. The chase is just a means to an end, i.e., a relationship of some sort. At least, that's how it is for me (recall that I'm a commitment-phile).

I say screw the gameplaying and screw the rules. If a rule serves to keep two people that're good for each other apart, then it doesn't belong in the game. If a girl wants to make the first move, I think she should be able to go for it without fear of scaring off the dude or being perceived as overly aggressive. Unfortunately, it's exactly these "rules" that prescribe the commonly accepted gender roles that cause men to sometimes react negatively to women taking a more active approach to dating. That's just stupid, methinks.

My $.02...

Alex

[angel nympho]

<-- I am an aggressive one with the boys that do not take charge. If a boy doesn't pick up on my hints or vibes, then I'll just fuck it and take care of shit myself.

I'd rather have a guy respond to my vibe and take charge. There's something very sexy about a man who knows what he wants. At the same time, though, sometimes if I don't want what he wants, and he just reads me wrong, this can be a very unappealing thing. So, boys, pick your women wisely.

[karizma]

>> if im really into the guy than yea ill make the first move because patience is a virtue i do not possess =)...im a little scared of coming on a little strong though...my worst fear is if im going in for a kiss and the guy turns to the side so my lips land on his cheek. although its never happened it still pops in my mind whenever i think about making a move haha yea im a dork =(.

>> but i gotta agree with angel...i love it when the man takes the initiative and goes in for the kill...if he can show me that he can read into my body language right off the bat then i wont have to deal with training him later muahaha...

[Arex]

Originally posted by karizma@Sep 13 2002, 11:12 PM
>> if im really into the guy than yea ill make the first move because patience is a virtue i do not possess =)...im a little scared of coming on a little strong though...my worst fear is if im going in for a kiss and the guy turns to the side so my lips land on his cheek.
Oh, you mean like what happened to me a few weeks ago? I'd given this girl a soft little kiss on the lips as we parted the Thursday before, so I thought it was all good. So I move in for another one and I get the head dodge. DENIED altogether. That was awkward to say the least. Girls confuse me.=P

Alex

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 14 2002, 02:07 AM

Oh, you mean like what happened to me a few weeks ago? I'd given this girl a soft little kiss on the lips as we parted the Thursday before, so I thought it was all good. So I move in for another one and I get the head dodge. DENIED altogether. That was awkward to say the least. Girls confuse me.=P

Alex
No no arex, it's all in the body language. How she crosses her legs, how she leans, her eye movement, plays with her hair, if she is touching you in subtle ways while talking to you, if she crosses her arms, if she's touching or exposing her neck etc etc. It's kinda like a mental checklist.

I love the hunt. Going to formal parties, bars, clubs whatever. Going there and talking to women and mostly looking at their body language, flirting exchanging phone numbers or asking them out on a date right there. When out on a date, I read her body language and try and push the boundaries to see if she reciprocates (you know a little touch there etc etc). And go in for the kill and hopefully get me some ass too!

Arex from my experience, most women, will kiss you on the lips if they were unexpecting it, to save you face. But they will be guarded the next time, you swoop in, to either show 1)they're not interested or 2)to slow it down. Either way it's up to you if you wanna pursue it, if you don't just smack them on the ass and say laterz! (j/K) So don't sweat it. The best indicator on how you're doing or where you're headed is her body language.

Don't look at it as complicated and confusing . Look at it as a fun challenging game, sometimes with no spoken words. Kinda like the game charades. Ya know what I'm saying?

And on the real, I'd rather get shot down more than lose out on any opportunities for ass or a booty call. Male ego and shyness comes second, I wanna play hide de sausage.



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Sep 14 2002, 12:27 PM-->

[artsfartsyjanet]

Confused again..... It's killing me...okay, I'm exaggerating, but I went to the St. Louis Art Fair (the nation's #1 art fair) btw.... Sorry, as I was saying....
I went to the Art Fair with him, ate at a really nice restaurant, watched a lot of beautiful art, and went to his place to watch the movie Playing by the Heart. Ok, do male friends open the car door for their female friends most of the time? Or does that only happen if a guy is interested in a girl more than a friendship??? At dinner, if a guy sits adjacent to you (instead of across/facing) you, what kind of statement is that making? Ok, I'm talking about HIM again. LOL.... Yet, he still doesn't hug me or give me SIGN that he actually likes me more than a friend. I wonder if he's reading this.... perhaps, he has and is purposely not making the first move. Or he could be waiting for me to make the first move?? :blink:



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 15 2002, 05:01 PM-->

[deez nuts]

To be blunt maybe he's just not interested.

Maybe he's shy, maybe he's not a touchy feely type of guy.

But if he opens door for you first when you get into the car: Maybe he's a just that type of a guy. I don't open the car door for my female friends (ok even my girlfriend, bad example). That might be a sign in your favor.

The restaurant thing: is it just the two of you? If I'm out with a girl I'm interested in, I usually sit across.

Maybe he's just inexperienced when it comes to women. Maybe you should just make the first move or fug it and move on. It all depends on how much you want this fella.

[artsfartsyjanet]

well during our first dinner at japanese restaurant, he ate across from me. Last night, he sat adjacent to me. Ah, I don't think I'll make the first move... knowing me. So, I'm just going to treat him like a friend and move on. ;)



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 15 2002, 06:39 PM-->

[achtungbaby]

My gut tells me that he's either somewhat interested or well-aware that you're interested in him, and he's having fun with you.

[Arex]

AFJ: From my own personal experience, the only time I've sat adjacent to someone at dinner was when I was going out with her. I really can't imagine sitting adjacent to someone I consider "just a friend."

CB: Yeah, I hear body language is important. Alas, I haven't a clue as to what I'm supposed to be looking for. The girl in question said she just wanted to slow things down, us meeting at a club and all. Hard to tell if that's just a line or if it's for real. Bah! I'll just assume it's a line and go along my lonely way...

The dating game, like any game, is only fun when you win every now and then. Call me impatient, but too much more of this and I think I'm going to forfeit the game altogether and wait 'til another relationship just falls into my lap.=P Hopefully it'll be a good one.=/


Alex

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 17 2002, 03:36 AM
AFJ: From my own personal experience, the only time I've sat adjacent to someone at dinner was when I was going out with her. I really can't imagine sitting adjacent to someone I consider "just a friend."


I think I need to distance myself from him. Last night, I didn't call him because if I did, I think this pervasive cycle of confusion will continue stronger. I did email him, but it was quite casual.

Do you guys know any other guys who likes a mixture of football (sports in general), cars, musicals, and ballet? I have no problems with people who are gay, but I'm starting to question if he is EVEN though he did tell me that his female friend questions his sexuality. He told me himself that his friend would wonder why I would point out what people would wear that looks nice. Like he'll say, "oh that's a nice dress/shoes." For a man, he'll say, "that's an ugly or nice looking tie." Maybe I'm feeding too much into the stereotypes. He's had girlfriends in the past. I'll just wait to see how things go. I told another friend about this, and he says, "Sweet Jesus, I think he's gay." Ahhh...... ;)

[deez nuts]

Janet, in my honest opinion, don't take it personally. I think you are giving this guy way too much thought. And AB could be right, he might be playin ya. Don't sweat it, it's just a guy. I mean there's no attachment right now (or not too much) anyways, so now is the time to drop the zero and get with a hero.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 17 2002, 07:46 AM
Janet, &nbsp;in my honest opinion, don't take it personally. &nbsp;I think you are giving this guy way too much thought. &nbsp;And AB could be right, he might be playin ya. &nbsp;Don't sweat it, it's just a guy. &nbsp;I mean there's no attachment right now (or not too much) anyways, so now is the time to drop the zero and get with a hero.
You're probably right. I think I should join the Buddhist monastery. :(



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 17 2002, 08:34 AM-->

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 17 2002, 08:33 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 17 2002, 07:46 AM
Janet, in my honest opinion, don't take it personally. I think you are giving this guy way too much thought. And AB could be right, he might be playin ya. Don't sweat it, it's just a guy. I mean there's no attachment right now (or not too much) anyways, so now is the time to drop the zero and get with a hero.
You're probably right. I think I should join the Buddhist monastery. :(
Haha nah don't do that. Just keep him open, but at the same time keep your eyes open, you know? Tunnel vision might cause you to lose out on another male prospect.

And Arex: just go with your gut feeling. if she's leaning towards or away from you. One sure sign, I've learned is that if she is constantly touching and/or exposing her neck (maybe she's a vampire), some other shit you can pick up on, subtle touches when she is talking to you etc etc. I'm just too tired right now to remember, had a 4am emergency procedure this morning. Trust me you'll know when you see it, just gotta be aware. Haha don't give up, lots of women out there looking for a guy like you.

I'm trying to look for a pic of my cousin from our family gathering, but I can't find it. I think it's at my parent's place. She's single and looking. <wink><wink>



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Sep 17 2002, 09:26 AM-->

[johnny]

Janet, if you feel his body language/actions give you some sort of hint he likes you then go in for the kill and plant a kiss or something (I like it when a girl makes the first move).


I agree with AB on the approach that men have to keep chasing and be assertive/aggressive on a girl.

[Arex]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 17 2002, 06:41 AM
Arex: just go with your gut feeling. &nbsp;if she's leaning towards or away from you. &nbsp;One sure sign, I've learned is that if she is constantly touching and/or exposing her neck (maybe she's a vampire), some other shit you can pick up on, subtle touches when she is talking to you etc etc. &nbsp; I'm just too tired right now to remember, had a 4am emergency procedure this morning. &nbsp;Trust me you'll know when you see it, just gotta be aware. &nbsp;Haha don't give up, lots of women out there looking for a guy like you.Hmmm... Leaning... Neck... Well, should I ever find myself mingling with some new girls, I'll definitely try to keep my eyes peeled for the signs.

I'm trying to look for a pic of my cousin from our family gathering, but I can't find it. &nbsp;I think it's at my parent's place. &nbsp;She's single and looking. <wink><wink>And yeah, I thought you'd forgotten about your cousin. Chop chop! I don't got all day! My internal clock's a ticking! j/k!

Alex

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by johnny@Sep 17 2002, 12:36 PM
Janet, if you feel his body language/actions give you some sort of hint he likes you then go in for the kill and plant a kiss or something (I like it when a girl makes the first move).


I agree with AB on the approach that men have to keep chasing and be assertive/aggressive on a girl.
This is my plan of action: no action. =)
IF he's playing with my head, then two can play this game. The next time he replies to my email or tries to call me, I won't reply for a few days or more to see if he has any balls trying to get a hold of me. If he calls, and we talk, I'll let him go sooner. I feel like I'm committing "an eye for an eye...." Why do I feel guilty? I guess I should be having fun. :rolleyes: Ah.... love labors lost........ ?

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 18 2002, 09:08 AM
This is my plan of action: no action. =)
IF he's playing with my head, then two can play this game. The next time he replies to my email or tries to call me, I won't reply for a few days or more to see if he has any balls trying to get a hold of me
i think thats just dumb.... if you really like the guy... just be honest with him and just say so....

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by tapestrybabe@Sep 18 2002, 10:05 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 18 2002, 09:08 AM
This is my plan of action: no action. =)
IF he's playing with my head, then two can play this game. The next time he replies to my email or tries to call me, I won't reply for a few days or more to see if he has any balls trying to get a hold of me
i think thats just dumb.... if you really like the guy... just be honest with him and just say so....
I'm sure there's a more constructive way of responding than that. I am not going to tell him I like him. I don't think that's dumb either. Of course, confessing seems to be the most direct route with the quickest response, but I am not ready to do that whether it turns out he likes me more than a friend, just as a friend, or not a friend at all. Plus, I have no problems finding out the longer way even if it seems like I'm wasting my time wondering. Body language and how the guy talks to me or what he says to me are factors that indicate or reveal to me more and more how a guy feels about me. It makes life more interesting too.



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 18 2002, 10:44 AM-->

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 18 2002, 11:40 AM
I am not going to tell him I like him. &nbsp;I don't think that's dumb either.
well holding off not telling him that you like him... is one thing... but 'playing games'.... like not responding to his emails right away is another thing... i guess i'm not the type of person to do that type of stuff.... me, whenever i felt really passionate towards a guy and really liked him... i could never keep it inside.. but i always had to tell him... even it was me making the first move... i guess ppl are all different....



<!--EDIT|tapestrybabe|Sep 18 2002, 12:25 PM-->

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by tapestrybabe@Sep 18 2002, 11:11 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 18 2002, 11:40 AM
I am not going to tell him I like him. I don't think that's dumb either.
well holding off not telling him that you like him... is one thing... but 'playing games'.... like not responding to his emails right away is another thing... i guess i'm not the type of person to do that type of stuff.... me, whenever i felt really passionate towards a guy and really liked him... i could never keep it inside.. but i always had to tell him... even it was me making the first move... i guess ppl are all different....
Perhaps, I used "playing games" equivocally, leaving room for interpretation. To clarify myself, I am holding off telling him, which also includes distancing myself from him so that I don't get so tunnel visioned. Thus, if he tries to call, I'll answer. If he emails, I'll answer it but not impulsively respond once I receive them.

[deez nuts]

Damn getting complicated :(

I give you props for persistence and patience. My ass would've been gone as soon as I got a mixed vibe or I had a gut feeling it wasn't gonna let me pass go and collect.

No time to waste, daddy's on a short tight leash now hahaha, anyhoo.

Bottomline: Only you know yourself, what you want to do. We're just the cheerleaders.

Good luck, J!

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Sep 18 2002, 01:31 PM
Damn getting complicated &nbsp;:(

I give you props for persistence and patience. My ass would've been gone as soon as I got a mixed vibe or I had a gut feeling it wasn't gonna let me pass go and collect.

No time to waste, daddy's on a short tight leash now hahaha, anyhoo.

Bottomline: Only you know yourself, what you want to do. We're just the cheerleaders.

Good luck, J!




yeah, its getting complicated. And i think this is why ppl hate infatuation... liking a person, but not knowing if the other person likes them back the same way... and its the fear factor which holds ppl back from making the first move....

and yeah, i agree... only she knows herself what she wants to do... but my impression is that... he likes you... and he may have the same feelings-- liking you.. but now knowing if you like him the same way...

Oh wellz, good luck... :)



<!--EDIT|tapestrybabe|Sep 18 2002, 01:49 PM-->

[thaite]

Okay, I didn't read all the previous posts so I'm only going to post on my own experiences here.

Personally I find it hard to talk to women, particularly in clubs or setting where I don't have much of a proper introduction, so I don't usually make any 'move'. I really do like to talk to people and I'm genuinely interested. I don't like games and the feeling that I'm being played with really puts me off. I'm putting the effort into real conversation, so I don't need to feel like I'm wasting my time.

If things go well, I will as for a phone number and I will call her. I guess I'll call a few times (x < 5), but if she doesn't pick up she better call back because I don't wanna feel like a stalker either.

But as for being there with a person, you can feel the 'vibe,' you can give and receive casual touches, brushes on the arm, a hug, etc. And if it's right it doesn't feel as if either of you are making 'the move' -- it feels totally natural, making each successive move more easy and natural, there's nothing to force.

Or maybe I'm wrong and don't know anything at all. :blink: