Are you a toucher?

[nonamerasian]

Do you normally touch people during conversation, for example, by putting a hand on their shoulder or thigh?

If not, do you find it acceptable or unacceptable when others do this?

[Faithless]

I hate it with strangers.

Don't mind it with close family.

Hate it when the inlaws give the farting bearhug.

[robotic]

almost never. i, in turn, feel uncomfortable when people do the same.

[applehead]

not really but i shove people
when i laugh really hard.
or smack them on their arm when i laugh not so hard.
it's such a bad habit.

[rice cracker]

I think so. I'll grab or touch someone's arm during a conversation, like, to punctuate something.

[nonamerasian]

I can be touchy. A hand on the back, shoulder, or arm.

Almost never with strangers, though.

It’s instinctive.

With a stranger, I may not necessarily mind if they touch my shoulder, although I think I almost always notice. Many times I may pull away. Also instinctive.

With acquaintances and family, I don’t always notice them touching me. But with some, you can't help but notice. Especially after a joke, they slap peoples’ back so hard that the recipients sometimes lose balance. And they don’t notice they are doing this most of the time.

I hope I’m not that bad.

[mr. x]

isnt this like an italian thing to do?

[Hiroshi2]

When my crazy ass Dutch/German/whatever the hell country she was from Chemistry teacher talked to me, like tutored me one-on-one, she would do this a lot and I would ALWAYS step back. She never got the message though. She even tried to run up and give me a hug when I finally got a good test grade. Yeesh.



Anyway, normally I don't mind too much. I don't know how you let people know that you don't mind it though. I noticed one of my friends always did that (I was never uncomfortable with it). So I simply responded by doing the same during a conversation. She didn't mind *shrugs*


But I am definitely not a toucher. I'm not even a talker. Unless you are a good friend of mine, I probably won't even speak to you unless you speak to me first.

[ellsworth81]

Do you normally touch people during conversation, for example, by putting a hand on their shoulder or thigh?

If not, do you find it acceptable or unacceptable when others do this?
Yes. I put my hands on womens' thighs all the time during water-cooler talks :smile:
Actually, I don't touch un-familiar women at all in a non-sexual setting. I'm afraid I'll get accused of rape, sexual harassment, or coming on to them, etc etc etc.

And I punch/nudge guys. I guess that counts as touching.

[Hiroshi2]

Yes. I put my hands on womens' thighs all the time during water-cooler talks :smile:
Actually, I don't touch un-familiar women at all in a non-sexual setting. I'm afraid I'll get accused of rape, sexual harassment, or coming on to them, etc etc etc.

And I punch/nudge guys. I guess that counts as touching.





No offense, but I thought you were female? :confused:

[Kuchana]

Not so much now. The most I'd ever do was to poke people. Oh and I used to like kissing my girlfriends on the cheek. I'm an affectionate person:P

No offense, but I thought you were female? :confused:

Not at all :)

[hooligan]

i'm not a conversational toucher, maybe the shoulder at most, but only with people i know REALLY well. but i'm a hugger. : D

[rice cracker]

i'm not a conversational toucher, maybe the shoulder at most, but only with people i know REALLY well. but i'm a hugger. : D

I always figured you for a leg humper. :smile:

[Seamus]

Sometimes when I'm having an intense conversation, I instinctively start grabbing the other guy's/girl's crotch.

[kimpossible]

I'm uncomfortable with most friendly physical contact. I don't freak if someone touches me but I'm not the type to hug my friends or even family members sometimes. Just wasn't raised that way.

[Seamus]

Then I suppose I would probably freak you out. I have a very kissy huggy family, even compared to many Caucasian families (not counting southern Europeans). However, the crotch-grabbing thing is my innovation.

When a girl grabs my arm or touches my elbow, I often assume she's coming onto me. I don't know why that is.

I like physical contact as long as it's with friends and not strangers. However, I hate it when a stranger grabs my shoulder when shaking hands, for example. It's a bit too familiar and presumptuous.

[kimpossible]

^You would be correct. There have been embarrassing moments in my encounters with French and Russians.

[Seamus]

Uh, like what? I've gotten used to kissing women on the cheek that I'm being introduced to, since I have a lot of Latin American and southern European classmates. I'm glad we don't have that custom here in the U.S., because of what I said about physical contact with strangers (even women) being "presumptuous."

Continental Europeans also tend to stand too close to me when we're talking, I find.

[kimpossible]

Like, I stood stiff as hell and didn't kiss back because I wasn't expecting it. Especially the Russian dude, cuz he's really tall and leaned in really close to lay one on me. I'm better about it now (years later) but I'm still uncomfortable with it. My discomfort is better hidden.

[VV o n g B a]

i'm very untouchy. i only mind other ppl touching when it's a guy. :tongue:

[Seamus]

We used to have to kiss my grandfather on his forehead. He was bald and had a very shiny head, and I remember being reluctant to kiss it because it was shiny.

[ellsworth81]

Then I suppose I would probably freak you out. I have a very kissy huggy family, even compared to many Caucasian families (not counting southern Europeans). However, the crotch-grabbing thing is my innovation.

When a girl grabs my arm or touches my elbow, I often assume she's coming onto me. I don't know why that is.

I like physical contact as long as it's with friends and not strangers. However, I hate it when a stranger grabs my shoulder when shaking hands, for example. It's a bit too familiar and presumptuous.

its not an issue of being horny is it?

it is for me.

No offense, but I thought you were female? :confused:

and why do ppl still think i'm a female

[Hiroshi2]

its not an issue of being horny is it?

it is for me.



and why do ppl still think i'm a female





You could start by putting "male" in your profile instead of "undisclosed" ;)


Really, I thought so because 1) you had a woman in your avatar for a while, and 2) ellsworth just sounds girly.

[ellsworth81]

You could start by putting "male" in your profile instead of "undisclosed" ;)


Really, I thought so because 1) you had a woman in your avatar for a while, and 2) ellsworth just sounds girly.

ellsworth has always been a dude's name

unlike stacy

[Hiroshi2]

ellsworth has always been a dude's name

unlike stacy





I think it's the "elle" part that sounds girly.

[Sledge]

I was raised as a nontoucher but grew into a toucher, which puts me in the weird situation of never touching anyone until I get a sense of what's appropriate, then pushing that to the max. My closest friends and I are super physical.

[boredlikewah]

I don't generally touch other people. I guess I don't mind when they touch me... well arms and stuff I guess. I do however flinch when a family member touches me. :confused:

[Adaon]

Depends on the person and situation. Most of the time I normally punch my friends. I, in turn, get the beatin's of my life.....usually....I dun normally hug or touch the arm or any other assorted body parts of a female until she does so first.....like someone said before, don't wanna be too presumptious...

[bigwong235]

not a toucher, but i really like physical contact. kinda odd.

[Hiroshi2]

not a toucher, but i really like physical contact. kinda odd.





Yeah that's really how I am.

[moser]

I often flinch when touched, and I'm not a toucher.

[kasia]

I often flinch when touched, and I'm not a toucher.

me too! especially if it's guys or really affectionate girls. i'm just not used to it. however, i am used to hugging. my family members and i always hug 'hello' and 'goodbye'.

i don't like it when potential clients touch me. i think it's so rude. for example, when they're trying to explain their case to me and are trying to persuade me how sympathetic their case is, it just makes me feel the exact opposite when they keep on touching my hand. sometimes i take my hand off the table and stare at them. on the other hand, when they're already my clients and we've already formed a relationship, then it's different.

also, i have ADD and i sometimes look away while ppl are talking to me. it *really* annoys me when they tap me while they're talking to make sure i'm listening.

edit: with friends, i'm very much a hugger. so are they.

[Hiroshi2]

sometimes i take my hand off the table and stare at them




lol


I can just imagine the look on your face when you do that.


I used to not care for hugging too much either (does this person want me to hug them with both arms or do they just want a one-armed, "friendly" hug?). But now I just hug with both arms, usually. Unless it's a dude. In which case you gotta give them the manly man hug, the one arm with the pat on the back.

[tommyhtown]

My family is not the hugger-kisser type. I think I have kissed and hugged my dogs and my friends more than my own family members and relatives.

[Irezumi Kiss]

I don't touch at all unless you're a pal.

With women, I don't touch unless they touch first. They touch me a lot, though. I don't mind if it's friends, but if it's from a female stranger then Mr. Happy starts a' knockin'.

Sometimes guys will touch me, in a rough, playful way, as if to test my muscles or some guy shit like that. I fuckin' hate that. It happens a lot when they're drunk, too. They'll come into my space and get all up in my grill with their whiskey stank breath. I try to be nice to people and will not make you feel like a leper or something, but lately I just cannot stand drunk fuckers getting in my space and messing up my vibe, especially when I'm talking to a woman. That's when they love doing that shit cuz if they're not getting any play, then they GOT to jack up your move. Then they come over and start rubbing my shoulders or squeezing my arm or some shit like that...I hate that almost as much as I hate people talking in the theater.

I started maintaining a perimeter. Even when I'm outside smoking and someone steps to me for a handout, I step back a bit. You never know when someone might try to shank you.

[Hiroshi2]

You never know when someone might try to shank you.




LOL


You sound like that old barber from Barbershop.



"All these jokers out here tryin' to SHANK ya!"


:biggrin: j/k

[Irezumi Kiss]

^ heh heh...

You know, it all started when I was standing around outside this Japanese restaurant talking and smoking with a bunch of peeps.

Out of nowhere, this drunk assed and red faced white guy comes stumbling over to us from down the street. At first, we thought he was gonna ask us for directions, but he had a forty brown bagged in his hand and he was spilling it with an unsteady hand. I looked at old boy when he did that and thought, "awww shit..."

He said something and laughed and just walked forward, and pushed me playfully on the shoulder. For a drunk mofo he was strong as a hell and I stumbled back. That's when everyone cleared out and we left his ass there trying to get in the restaurant. Let them handle his ass! Afterwards, I was pissed off that I let him in that close to do that to me, even though he was a drunk fucker and the right thing to do is just to turn the other cheek. But I thought deeper and realized that that fucker could've had a shiv on him and he could've stuck me real good if he wanted to.

Since then, I've been trying to maintain a zone around me at all times, unless you're a friend. You just never know and sometimes I've been so drunk assed that I know I leave a wide window of opportunity for shit to happen to me. I've been consciously trying to change this, but when you're having a good time, you let down your guard and tend to forget things! I wish I could see my guardian angel so I could give him pounds for working overtime!

[missmeow]

I am not a toucher. I don't like to touch people I don't know. I don't like to be touched by people I don't know.

However, I am a very physical person and when I am comfortable with people, I'll touch them and I don't mind if they touch me.