New York vs. San Francisco Asian American Women

[haku]

So I was recently in New York, and attended some interesting API History Month events. That, and walking around Manhattan gave me several thoughts. I want to bounce them off YW folks, so I can see if I'm accurate or not.

1) Asian American identity is in general less developed in NYC vs SF.

People, even API performers, are less comfortable identifying as Asian American. For example, many of the performers who told autobiographical 5 minute tales at an event at the Asia Society told stories of "How I moved to New York and discovered I was Asian, not White." Great stories, but they wouldn't play as well in SF, I think. One dude spoke about his discomfort with walking across Sproul Plaza at Berkeley, with all the Asian groups handing him fliers, and then read a list of all the API groups at Berkeley with the audience laughing hysterically at "Laotian students group...Hong Kong Alliance...China-Hong Kong Diplomacy group...etc". That wouldn't play in SF either, I think.

2) Women are hot, both in SF and NY. Just wanted to say that, before I say...

3) Women are more avoidant and aversive in SF, and more open to new experiences and people in NYC.

Contrary to my belief, women were really friendly in NY, and I think I could have easily gotten half a dozen dates out of the numerous contacts I made, had I stayed in NYC. Maybe I'm wrong, but now I think NYC is a sexier city. Women in SF tend to be more shy and in their own worlds, like princesses.

Okay, let the arrows fly.

Is this true? Or did I just catch NY in the midst of Spring fever?
And how do you reconcile #1 and #3?

[rice cracker]

I refuse to participate due to the fact that midwestern Asian women have been excluded. Such exclusionary practices must be stamped out! :mad:

JK :)

[haku]

Okay. Midwestern Asian American women are less identity aware, and also avoidant and aversive.

I lived there too.

How's that, Rice Cracker?

:-)

[rice cracker]

Okay. Midwestern Asian American women are less identity aware, and also avoidant and aversive.

I lived there too.

How's that, Rice Cracker?

:-)

Right on the nose! Good job, buddy. :smile:

[haku]

So will you still go out with me next time I'm in Minnesoda? :-)

[rice cracker]

So will you still go out with me next time I'm in Minnesoda? :-)

I'm too avoidant. Muahahahaha!

[lethal]

Haku, did you attend the Saturday performance or the Friday show? I didn't recognoze the examples you gave, so I assume the Friday show?

[haku]

Lethal: I attended both shows, and it was the Friday show that was exampled. Saturday had generally older performers and was less identity-driven.

[haku]

I'm too avoidant. Muahahahaha!

And you laugh like a Transylvanian - I'd better be avoidin' you too! :wink:

[lethal]

Lethal: I attended both shows, and it was the Friday show that was exampled. Saturday had generally older performers and was less identity-driven.
Did you happen to sit in the 3rd row on Saturday with an empty seat to your left?

[haku]

dude. everyone knows san francisco is inherently better. fucking yay area for christs sake. we have like...beach hair and shit.

love,
prof. frink

That's what I thought, since I moved here. But after years of luckless relationship-strivin', I'm noticin' that the chicks here are hot, but damn, they are AVOIDANT!

[haku]

Did you happen to sit in the 3rd row on Saturday with an empty seat to your left?

Nope, on Saturday, I was about halfway down, three seats in from the right (facing forward), no empty seats.

Loud laugh, black tee said "I don't do Kung Fu" (from Asian American Theater Company)

http://www.asianamericantheater.org/blackteeorderform.html

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY AVOIDANT? all there is here is sun, we love going out.

love,
prof. frink

Avoidant of men, m'dear.

Maybe it only applies to women in their late 20's and 30's.

[lethal]

Ahh....OK.

Anyway, back on topic for me. I've actually been fortunate to live in both SF and NYC for several years.

Its often said that NYC is a good dating city, but a bad city for relationships. In other words, its easy to get dates, but its hard to make something long term. I know many girls and guys who all date casually, but nothing serious.

On the other hand, many people complain that SF is a very hard city to date in. The population is much smaller and perhaps 1/3 of the population is homosexual.

This would be in contrast to the stereotype that east coast people are cold and unfriendly and californians are laid back.

As for Asian identity, well, how could you expect NYC to even compare to SF? In SF, the population is 1/3 or more Asian. The entire state is majority minority. For college grads, when they went to school in California, the schools are regularly 40% Asian or higher.

New York has a high Asian population in overall numbers, but the city's population is something like 12 million people. Asians make up perhaps 7% of the city population. Its not really all that high. Even if you take SF's 300K Asians and put them all in NYC, you'd have 2.5 percent of the population of NYC.

Also, there are more 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc...generation Asians on the west coast than the east. The population started west (closest to Asia) and moved to the major east coast cities, then dispersed from there.

Given those generalitites listed above, among Asian Americans, and Asian American women in particular, I've found those generalties to be largely true. I think its a byproduct of environment.

Remember that these are 2 areas that have a superiority complex. NYers believe that the Big Apple is the greatest city in the world (and that California is a strange far off land full of odd people). Californians believe that there is no better place to be than California.

Wish I knew you were coming...would have been interesting to meet a fellow YWer.

[haku]

Thanks, LW (and I didn't know I'd be at that event until almost that weekend). Next time, I'll keep you posted.

Interesting thoughts. I was expecting NY to be more evolved identity wise, but I think it's got a generally less stable population, and the newer folks are just discovering themselves. SF, on the other hand, probably has a more stable Asian Am population which is rooted. Not to say that there aren't substantial API numbers out here who could give a f*** about being API.

I wonder why the women are more adventurous dating wise in NY vs SF?

[holybull101]

All the cute asian chicks are in Berkeley i hear.

[coagulated fat]

All the cute asian chicks are in Berkeley i hear.
I hear the exact opposite. With the exception of maybe frink.

[yoMAMA]

I refuse to participate due to the fact that midwestern Asian women have been excluded. Such exclusionary practices must be stamped out! :mad:

JK :)

contact the YW legal defense team ASAP.... :wink:

[bigwong235]

All the cute asian chicks are in Berkeley i hear.

damn. why didn't someone let me know? i've been missing out this entire time!


i think new york is sexy.

[applehead]

Californians believe that there is no better place to be than California.

no really.
HAHAHAHAHA.
stop it. that's funny.

[haku]

you fucker.

love,
prof. frink

Huh?

no really.
HAHAHAHAHA.
stop it. that's funny.

Yeah, I'm actually considering moving out to New York after my trip there last week.

I can edumacate re Asian Am identity, and get "nurtured" by that dynamic feminine sexy (non-avoidant, non-aversive) New York that I fell in love with.

I want to hear from some SF or NY women on the whole avoidance issue first, though. (I'm talking specifically of avoiding Asian American men, not being willing to reciprocate for relationships as easily, etc.)

If other cities want to chime in, enter the fray.

[lethal]

no really.
HAHAHAHAHA.
stop it. that's funny.
I don't get it...did I say something funny? :confused:

[Kuchana]

Okay. Midwestern Asian American women are less identity aware, and also avoidant and aversive.

I lived there too.

How's that, Rice Cracker?

:-)

Hey! What about Southern Asian American women? Don't leave them out, too :frown:

I don't get it...did I say something funny? :confused:

Eh. Don't worry Lethal. I think apple's just found something humorous in your statement:) Like how NYers and SFers think the same about the other.

Avoidant of men, m'dear.

Maybe it only applies to women in their late 20's and 30's.

How so?

[mrazntre]

IT's all about the UK ASIAN womEN!!!

[Bhodi_Li]

I refuse to participate due to the fact that midwestern Asian women have been excluded. Such exclusionary practices must be stamped out! :mad:

JK :)Yep, amen to that. MidWest Asian women are hot, except when they ignore me and give me the bird.

[SunWuKong]

I want to hear from some SF or NY women on the whole avoidance issue first, though. (I'm talking specifically of avoiding Asian American men, not being willing to reciprocate for relationships as easily, etc.)


as far as avoiding Asian American men goes, what i hear from a friend from NYC was that when she took a trip to SF for a visit, she was surprised at how many Asian women were with white guys.

[thaite]

When I'm in SF, I like to toss around offhandedly the word "oriental" just so's I can watch people's faces cringe.

I'll try it in NY whenever I get around to going there.

[applehead]

I don't get it...did I say something funny? :confused:

andy doesn't get my joke!!
see, haku gets me.
kekekekekeke



IT's all about the UK ASIAN womEN!!!
doesn't the british accent annoy you once in awhile?
:tongue:

[Tao]

Huh?



Yeah, I'm actually considering moving out to New York after my trip there last week.

I can edumacate re Asian Am identity, and get "nurtured" by that dynamic feminine sexy (non-avoidant, non-aversive) New York that I fell in love with.

I want to hear from some SF or NY women on the whole avoidance issue first, though. (I'm talking specifically of avoiding Asian American men, not being willing to reciprocate for relationships as easily, etc.)

If other cities want to chime in, enter the fray.
lol, in other words you want to move half way around the country to get more booty?

[mrazntre]

when I was in SF I saw A LOT of AF with WM.
The prevalence of it was actually quite shocking to me, but *shrug* whatever.

[haku]

lol, in other words you want to move half way around the country to get more booty?

So...what's your point?

LOL :biggrin:

Career success is fine, but without a woman to share it with and be inspired by...how successful would it be?

no really.
HAHAHAHAHA.
stop it. that's funny.

Hey, LethalWeapon: AppleHead was just saying it was too ridiculously funny to be California-centric.

Well, as I'm sitting in a coffeehouse at the edge of Golden Gate Park, totally clear blue skies overhead, greenery overwhelming the view to front and side, it's easy to see how people get SF-centric. They actually call it The City, which is REALLY funny to people from NYC. But aside from a city comparison, which would be a different thread, I'd like to hear dating stories from men and women on the coasts in particular, cuz that's where I'm considering living. If the other corners, and the UK, etc, want to chime in, that's great. Maybe you can convince me to come live near you.

:wink:

[mr. x]

as far as avoiding Asian American men goes, what i hear from a friend from NYC was that when she took a trip to SF for a visit, she was surprised at how many Asian women were with white guys.

really? i thought a ton of new york asian women did the white thang too

i mean its new york

and i thought uk asian women were from pakistan, india, etc...

[SunWuKong]

really? i thought a ton of new york asian women did the white thang too

well, i don't know. whenever i visit, about the only Asian people i see are fobby Chinese people, and they like to date each other. i don't really notice that many Asian people outside of Chinatown.

[mr. x]

well, i don't know. whenever i visit, about the only Asian people i see are fobby Chinese people, and they like to date each other. i don't really notice that many Asian people outside of Chinatown.

hmm, well i dont live in sf and when i go up its just like whatever, i mean in my area its a big mix of abcs and fobs and for the most part abcs stick w/abcs and fobs with fobs

i went to the stanford theater area and there were a ton of ir couples tho, i mean ton. never seen a ton in sf from what i remember

[mrazntre]

really? i thought a ton of new york asian women did the white thang too

i mean its new york

and i thought uk asian women were from pakistan, india, etc...


you ever heard of a little place called Hong Kong?

[haku]

If they're avoiding Asian American men, they're going out with white guys (if they're hetero).

So I have seen a lot of that in SF. A lot. For some reason, I didn't notice it as much in NY, although I was expecting to see it more. I saw a lot of Japanese people in Manhattan, tourists, working, etc.

But a lot of API women in SF seem to just be avoidant, period. Like a conversation at a big event is okay, but just try to strike up more of a relationship...and they often shut down.

[Seamus]

Are the women in S.F. cold? I'd never noticed, but now that you bring it up, I think it's true. The thing is, in N.Y. there are so many alternatives to frumpy white chicks and Asian chicks. In S.F., it's like you have to either go frumpy white or you have to approach one of those cold Asian dragonladies.

I think all the frumpy non-Asian chicks are in S.F., while all the frumpy Asian chicks are in NYC.

I really enjoy saying the word "frump." It sounds German or something, as in "Mensch Meier, guck mal, da geht ja 'ne richtige Frumpe." It also rhymes with dump, hump, and so many other fun words.

[kboy75]

Ahh....OK.

Anyway, back on topic for me. I've actually been fortunate to live in both SF and NYC for several years.

Its often said that NYC is a good dating city, but a bad city for relationships. In other words, its easy to get dates, but its hard to make something long term. I know many girls and guys who all date casually, but nothing serious.

On the other hand, many people complain that SF is a very hard city to date in. The population is much smaller and perhaps 1/3 of the population is homosexual.

This would be in contrast to the stereotype that east coast people are cold and unfriendly and californians are laid back.

As for Asian identity, well, how could you expect NYC to even compare to SF? In SF, the population is 1/3 or more Asian. The entire state is majority minority. For college grads, when they went to school in California, the schools are regularly 40% Asian or higher.

New York has a high Asian population in overall numbers, but the city's population is something like 12 million people. Asians make up perhaps 7% of the city population. Its not really all that high. Even if you take SF's 300K Asians and put them all in NYC, you'd have 2.5 percent of the population of NYC.

Also, there are more 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc...generation Asians on the west coast than the east. The population started west (closest to Asia) and moved to the major east coast cities, then dispersed from there.

Given those generalitites listed above, among Asian Americans, and Asian American women in particular, I've found those generalties to be largely true. I think its a byproduct of environment.

Remember that these are 2 areas that have a superiority complex. NYers believe that the Big Apple is the greatest city in the world (and that California is a strange far off land full of odd people). Californians believe that there is no better place to be than California.

Wish I knew you were coming...would have been interesting to meet a fellow YWer.
A pretty good assessment. I agree with it overall. Especially, "Its often said that NYC is a good dating city, but a bad city for relationships." and "SF is a very hard city to date in." I lived in the SF bay area for almost 9 years and have lived in NYC for over 2 years.

NYC is great. SF is great. Just depends on what you want. For me, NYC is great as a young single person. However, one day I will move back to SF and settle down. And one day I'll retire in San Diego.

Alos, NYC is HUGE. There are so many people here, so it's hard to generalize; you get a bit of everything and all sorts of people here. However, I think that there are a lot more pockets of Asian ghettos here and there, especially in the outer burroughs, but that is natural due to the sheer size of the massive population. Most people who live in the city aren't even from NY. All the real native New Yorkers live outside of the city.

[mr. x]

you ever heard of a little place called Hong Kong?

ask martino, if a brit says asian he's not talking about someone from hong kong

[haku]

Most of the time, in England, Asian = Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi.

Weird how that's switched here, and a lot of East Asians will act surprised if I say I'm Asian American.

F*** off. Look at a map.

[haku]

Most of the time, in England, Asian = Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi.

Weird how that's switched here, and some East Asians will act surprised if I say I'm Asian American.

F*** off. Look at a map.

Well, anyway, not to sound bitter, but every new experience just shifts one's perspective again. Perhaps the coasts are not that dissimilar, Asian American woman-wise, I now think. Just equally avoidant. Perhaps NYC women are initially more adventurous, but then they swing back into that aversive state which I'm so familiar with.

I don't get it, but women seem to do things relationally that no man I know would ever do to a woman.

Or maybe it's just me...

[stunninglyAsian]

If they're avoiding Asian American men, they're going out with white guys (if they're hetero).

So I have seen a lot of that in SF. A lot. For some reason, I didn't notice it as much in NY, although I was expecting to see it more. I saw a lot of Japanese people in Manhattan, tourists, working, etc.


I just came back from NYC- lots of WM/AF couples, but I also did see a few IR couples with AM- saw a AM/BF and AM/WF couple in Next Door Nobu.

I don't see what the big deal is - both are big crowded cities with diverse populations, so naturally you're going to get lots of IR couples.

Anyways, back to the original question...

1) Yes, there is less of an AA identity in NYC- the 1st gen culture is quite strong, so for most AA they either pick between the FOB Chinatown immigrant or wanna-be Sex in the City/Friends clique.

2) Never been to the west coast, but from what my friends tell me, lots of pretty women, but it seems like they are all the same. NYC has all different kinds of women, so you'll find what you're looking for there.

3) I do think NYC is more open- anything goes in NYC. But for meeting people, there is that NYC attitude simply because there are lots of crazy people out there, so it's like a defense mechanism. Once you get past that and the girl sees that you are OK, then they're like any other girl. To me it seems like the more different you are in NYC, the more trendy you are, so I think IR relationships are more highly valued socially.

[lethal]

I notice more AM/non-AF couples in NYC than out west.

[haku]

Certainly out in SF, I see more AF - non AM couples. Avoidance...

[haku]

Damn, I'm moving to Berkeley. Hook me up, Prof. Frink.

It's all for research, remember.

[bigwong235]

Damn, I'm moving to Berkeley. Hook me up, Prof. Frink.

It's all for research, remember.

she lies!

all i see are IR couples!

that and those stupid ass uggs and pixie skirts. fucking a. be a little more creative.

or maybe i should go to school one day wearing a trucker hat and some aviators. all while i yell out dave chapelle quotes, since i'm the only one that's seen the show.


seriously though, i see a pretty good mix of couples on campus, IR and AA. yes, even the ever elusive AM/WF combo! :eek:

[bigwong235]

word is bond, b.
word is bond.

you need to get out the APATH house more. maybe when x gets his ass over here you can take him out and show him the sites.

by sites i mean the bums on telegraph.

[bigwong235]

of course you charge.
of course.

[rice cracker]

BUT I CHARGE.

love,
prof. frink

I hear that's common practice when your milkshake is better than theirs.

[lethal]

Alright...back on topic.

I'm gonna start regulating soon. This ain't MM.

[kasia]

the following is just what i've heard from my guy friends who go k-clubbing a lot. girls in l.a. are prettier and friendlier. girls in NY are stuck up and think they're hot but they're "whack".

i haven't been to NY so i don't really know.

i like meena.

[SunWuKong]

the following is just what i've heard from my guy friends who go k-clubbing a lot. girls in l.a. are prettier and friendlier. girls in NY are stuck up and think they're hot but they're "whack".

i haven't been to NY so i don't really know.

i like meena.

his data may only be applicable to Korean girls since he "goes k-clubbing a lot".

maybe girls in LA are just sluttier? :biggrin:
ain't nothing wrong with that though.
ain't nothing wrong with that at all.

[kasia]

his data may only be applicable to Korean girls since he "goes k-clubbing a lot".

maybe girls in LA are just sluttier? :biggrin:
ain't nothing wrong with that though.
ain't nothing wrong with that at all.

i take issue that you used the word 'slut' when i simply stated that girls in l.a. were friendlier.

[SunWuKong]

i take issue that you used the word 'slut' when i simply stated that girls in l.a. were friendlier.

what if i put the word in quotes like you did with "whack"?

maybe girls in LA are just "sluttier".
again, nothing wrong with "slutty" girls. i love "sluts".

[kasia]

what if i put the word in quotes like you did with "whack"?

maybe girls in LA are just "sluttier".
again, nothing wrong with "slutty" girls. i love "sluts".

i was quoting them! and besides, both guys and girls can be whack. but 'slut' has traditionally been used to refer to girls who are sexually promiscuous. guys of that nature are known as 'studs'.

also, that you love them is of no consequence. i've heard some people say that they love chinks and niggers, too. doesn't make the terms less offensive.

[SunWuKong]

i was quoting them! and besides, both guys and girls can be whack. but 'slut' has traditionally been used to refer to girls who are sexually promiscuous. guys of that nature are known as 'studs'.

also, that you love them is of no consequence. i've heard some people say that they love chinks and niggers, too. doesn't make the terms less offensive.


ok sorry. let me rephrase.

maybe girls in LA are just more sexually promiscuous.
and there's nothing wrong with that. i love girls that are sexually promiscuous.

[applehead]

i wanna talk about LA men and NY men.
i heard LA men are too laid back.
and NY men are too uptight and too career oriented.

[kasia]

i wanna talk about LA men and NY men.
i heard LA men are too laid back.
and NY men are too uptight and too career oriented.

i would think that most east coast men are uptight - so goes the stereotype. and guys in LA always say, "dude," which is true.

[hooligan]

i would think that most east coast men are uptight - so goes the stereotype. and guys in LA always say, "dude," which is true.
i'm trying to move away from my genderized lexicon. : P

[ChinaLama]

east coast guys say "dude" too. but at least we don't say "hella."

[Tao]

east coast guys say "dude" too. but at least we don't say "hella."
i say "man"

[mr. x]

oh wow, youve reached a new level of dorkdom. and yet i still laughed.

dude, mr. x owes me BIG time. he flaked out on me the one time i was able to get off my ass and meet him. i was like, "dude, where the fuck is your paper bag head?" and i NEVER NEVER meet with people (except for nick, he was a different case b/c i wasnt really friends with him to begin with on yw - so ha!) that ive come acquainted with online. YOU LOST BIG TIME BUDDY.


love,
white trash mcgee

HAHAHAHAHA, i love it, LOVE IT when you guys talk about me and i dont even show up for hours if not a day

word is bond, b.
word is bond.

you need to get out the APATH house more. maybe when x gets his ass over here you can take him out and show him the sites.

by sites i mean the bums on telegraph.

by bums u mean english slang for arse? :biggrin:

[Kuchana]

east coast guys say "dude" too. but at least we don't say "hella."

what about holla?

[Bhodi_Li]

'slut' has traditionally been used to refer to girls who are sexually promiscuous. guys of that nature are known as 'studs'.sluts rock!

[deez nuts]

the following is just what i've heard from my guy friends who go k-clubbing a lot. girls in l.a. are prettier and friendlier. girls in NY are stuck up and think they're hot but they're "whack".

i haven't been to NY so i don't really know.

i like meena.


i would assume LA girls are hotter than NYC girls because i heard LA places more emphasis on looks, the weather is warm all year around and doesn't LA have the most plastic surgeons per square mile when compared to NYC?

plus if they're basing it out of the k-clubbing scene here in ny, it's not really an accurate statement because 1)most of the girls at the k clubs in nyc are under 18 and 2)most hot asian women in nyc don't go to k clubs cuz by the time they're 21+ the k-club scene is played out and they can go to the hotter more upscale clubs.

not sure if it's the same case in the LA k-clubs, since i've never been to LA. a more accurate statement on their part would be "girls in LA are prettier and friendler. teenage girls in NY are stuck up and think they're hot but they're whack."

didn't they notice the "i just hit puberty only 3-4 years ago look" when they were at a k club here in ny?

[kasia]

i would assume LA girls are hotter than NYC girls because i heard LA places more emphasis on looks, the weather is warm all year around and doesn't LA have the most plastic surgeons per square mile when compared to NYC?

plus if they're basing it out of the k-clubbing scene here in ny, it's not really an accurate statement because 1)most of the girls at the k clubs in nyc are under 18 and 2)most hot asian women in nyc don't go to k clubs cuz by the time they're 21+ the k-club scene is played out and they can go to the hotter more upscale clubs.

not sure if it's the same case in the LA k-clubs, since i've never been to LA. a more accurate statement on their part would be "girls in LA are prettier and friendler. teenage girls in NY are stuck up and think they're hot but they're whack."

didn't they notice the "i just hit puberty only 3-4 years ago look" when they were at a k club here in ny?

REALLY? no. but the guys that i'm getting these statements from also said that man-chicks in thailand were the hottest. and that ignorance is bliss.

[deez nuts]

REALLY? no. but the guys that i'm getting these statements from also said that man-chicks in thailand were the hottest. and that ignorance is bliss.

well that was the trend back then when me and my best friend used to go. we started when we were about 15 or 16 years old. the last time we went to a korean club we were 20 or 21 and we felt old. it was awkward. it's been awhile since we stepped foot into a k-club, the atmosphere might've changed during that time.

my friend's younger brother in law is promoting a new korean club that just opened and when he was there he felt old (he's about 23) and he said you can be arrested just by looking at the girls in there.

and about the comment about thai shimmies in thailand, i heard the same thing from friends. they even said the drag queens at lucky chang's are hot.

[Tao]

well that was the trend back then when me and my best friend used to go. we started when we were about 15 or 16 years old. the last time we went to a korean club we were 20 or 21 and we felt old. it was awkward. it's been awhile since we stepped foot into a k-club, the atmosphere might've changed during that time.

my friend's younger brother in law is promoting a new korean club that just opened and when he was there he felt old (he's about 23) and he said you can be arrested just by looking at the girls in there.

and about the comment about thai shimmies in thailand, i heard the same thing from friends. they even said the drag queens at lucky chang's are hot.
there are korean only clubs? where are these?

[deez nuts]

there are korean only clubs? where are these?

nah not clubs for koreans only. the establishment is korean.

there mostly located in korean town.

i think there was one that was pretty popular called MK's in fruuuuuuuuuuushing, but it shut down. you also have a a lot korean bar/clubs/karoake in frrrrrrrrrushing especially on northern blvd. you can kinda spot them when you see ads on the windows for 1000 2000 3000 cc's aka watered down beer in a bong.

[kboy75]

there are korean only clubs? where are these?
in NYC Manhattan, there are no more Korean "clubs"... bars, lounges, yes, but no more clubs since MK closed down almost two years ago. Even in Queens, there is no "club". There are tons of organized parties tho at many different venues almost weekly. LA on the other hand, has lots of Korean clubs.

As far as the whol NYC girls are stuck up and LA girls are hotter and nicer thing... umm... that's a stereotype, but if I were to generalize, I'd say that is sometimes true. NYC girls have more attitude (not nec. a bad thing tho). Californians in general are more into health (more vegans/vegetarians in CA, more people look at you like a criminal if you smoke, etc) and since there is more sunshine, they ar more into their bodies, so they work out more, as well as tan.

NYC people are the just the other side of the same coin. There are tons of fashionistas, and people are all dressed up, especially looking nice in their autumn and winter clothes. Lots of people wearing designer stuff, esp among Asians. Some people really look "together"

Another stereotype is that CA girls are dumb and NYC girls are stuck up. I'm not gonna say that I haven't met people like this in CA/NYC, but it is just a stereotype and I've met some very intelligent (book and street smart) people in CA and some really nice people in NYC. However, if I was gonna roll the dice, I'd go with the stereotype. Sorry...

[deez nuts]

in NYC Manhattan, there are no more Korean "clubs"... bars, lounges, yes, but no more clubs since MK closed down almost two years ago. Even in Queens, there is no "club". There are tons of organized parties tho at many different venues almost weekly. LA on the other hand, has lots of Korean clubs.


times sure has changed.

i remember at one point there was a new club popping up every month.

[SunWuKong]

i don't think there are any more k-clubs in DC. not that i know of. the last one i knew was 18 & up and it went out of business. never been there. didn't think it would be very fun with a bunch of 18-year olds.

[deez nuts]

i don't think there are any more k-clubs in DC. not that i know of. the last one i knew was 18 & up and it went out of business. never been there. didn't think it would be very fun with a bunch of 18-year olds.


i went to julianna's in DC with my friend when he moved to virginia after we graduated from college. the crowd was younger there than the julianna's here in nyc.

[Irezumi Kiss]

I did a K-Club once. Alright, but after clubbing for over 10 years here and seeing scenes evolve (or devolve) there isn't much to be impressed by these days. If you're just looking to shake your groove thing, you'll enjoy doing it anywhere you go.

I think the noraebangs and general karaoke bars took over, along with the DJ-themed restaurants. Cheaper and you can get fucked up with just as much fun.

Keeping it on thread...the only thing I can say about L.A. is that I had to know a body or two out that way before bouncing there who could show me around. Otherwise I wouldn't've enjoyed myself as much and even still I could feel how different stuff is set up. L.A. was lovely but I am spoiled by NYC. I still yet gotta bounce to S.F., but everyone's told me I will enjoy in there way more than L.A.

NYC is set up so that you could bounce out here solo and still get around, painfree. If you're the type to go solo, you would have a gas in this city. It is easy to meet a body here, but if we're talking about a guy trying to hook up with a girl, I wouldn't expect guaranteed, automatic magic on the first night out. But you never know, honestly. I have met so many people without expecting to get into anything in the first place...most especially on the nights I just wanted to chill out with self and didn't wanna talk to nobody...and we all know what they say about what happens when you least expect it...

[SunWuKong]

It is easy to meet a body here, but if we're talking about a guy trying to hook up with a girl, I wouldn't expect guaranteed, automatic magic on the first night out. But you never know, honestly. I have met so many people without expecting to get into anything in the first place...most especially on the nights I just wanted to chill out with self and didn't wanna talk to nobody...and we all know what they say about what happens when you least expect it...

it's the exact same in HK (at least for me). meeting new people there was almost completely effortless.

[mrazntre]

I'm a fucking pimp so it don't matter where I go.

[DragonKnight]

i wanna talk about LA men and NY men.
i heard LA men are too laid back.
and NY men are too uptight and too career oriented.We Norcal men rule. 'Nuff said.

[Kuchana]

We Norcal men rule. 'Nuff said.

She didn't mention anything about Norcal men hello :rolleyes: :tongue: Not that I'm saying you don't :wink:

[haku]

Sheesh, I go away for a few days, and lalalalala, yadda yadda yadda.

Hi.

So the thread was about Avoidancy factors in different areas, between API women and men.

So here was one of my NYC experience. (I'm from SF)
I was at an API party, I know a coupla peeps, but mostly just fresh-makin conversation with new people. I gab with a woman I'd noticed on the dance floor, then she goes back to dance, and a few minutes later, motions me to join her. Mind you, she has friends there. I don't even know her name. So she starts dancing with me, and a coupla minutes later, she turns around, and backs into me. She does this several times, and I start putting my hands on her hips to mediate the motion. It was safer for my hands to be in contact with her than any other part of my body at that moment, shall we say...

Anyhoo, after a while, she runs off to the ladies room, saying she'll be back. I never see her again. I still don't know her name, not that it really matters.

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME IN SAN FRANCISCO!

Maybe it's cuz I'm just so "exotic" in NYC.

I had a couple of other 'open, warm' encounters there, and in general felt that there was a great dating vibe there.

SF, on the other hand, I have tons of great friends, but just try and start a relationship - and the walls come up.

Maybe it's cuz I'm "mugly" here. Or maybe cuz the women are different or have different standards. I dunno, you tell me.

[Tao]

I dunno, you tell me.
post a pic

[haku]

Uh, I meant about the women, not my looks.

Besides, "the internet is for porn".

[Irezumi Kiss]

Yeah, but if you post a pic, there's a chance someone in SF will see it and decide she wants to jump your bones!

Then you're saved the expense of moving all the way here just for some butt in a still-stagnating job economy!

[haku]

Okay, I'll start a new thread: would you jump this guy's bones, and then a poll: do you live in SF or NYC?

[applehead]

what does mugly mean?

[Tao]

what does mugly mean?
more than ugly?

[mrazntre]

kinda like fugly, but not that serious.

[DragonKnight]

She didn't mention anything about Norcal men hello :rolleyes: :tongue: Not that I'm saying you don't :wink:Damn, we need to be represented! This is unfair...discrimination I say! :mad:

[deez nuts]

So here was one of my NYC experience. (I'm from SF)
I was at an API party, I know a coupla peeps, but mostly just fresh-makin conversation with new people. I gab with a woman I'd noticed on the dance floor, then she goes back to dance, and a few minutes later, motions me to join her. Mind you, she has friends there. I don't even know her name. So she starts dancing with me, and a coupla minutes later, she turns around, and backs into me. She does this several times, and I start putting my hands on her hips to mediate the motion. It was safer for my hands to be in contact with her than any other part of my body at that moment, shall we say...

Anyhoo, after a while, she runs off to the ladies room, saying she'll be back. I never see her again. I still don't know her name, not that it really matters.

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME IN SAN FRANCISCO!

Maybe it's cuz I'm just so "exotic" in NYC.


i don't think it's cuz you're so exotic in nyc.

it's more like your adroit use of the word "fresh" as in "just fresh makin conversation." now that's fresh.

i haven't heard the word "fresh" being used like that since the mid '80's.

[Shogun Empress]

NYers believe that the Big Apple is the greatest city in the worldIt IS the greatest city in the world.

[haku]

i don't think it's cuz you're so exotic in nyc.

it's more like your adroit use of the word "fresh" as in "just fresh makin conversation." now that's fresh.

i haven't heard the word "fresh" being used like that since the mid '80's.

I'm old. And possibly mugly.

But I can still dance, bay-bee! :wink:

[Bhodi_Li]

I'm old. You're not old, you're seasoned.

[yoMAMA]

It IS the greatest city in the world.

I believe that title belongs to minneapolis :tongue:

[Bhodi_Li]

I believe that title belongs to minneapolis :tongue:I second the nomination! Come on RC, you're either with us or against us.

[yoMAMA]

I second the nomination! Come on RC, you're either with us or against us.

and " DON'T MESS WITH..................Minnesota :biggrin: "

[rice cracker]

Fuck that, Minneapolis sucks. :tongue:

[Bhodi_Li]

Fuck that, Minneapolis sucks. :tongue:Traitor! YoMama, attack!

[yoMAMA]

Traitor! YoMama, attack!

Yes, sir!!!!

[me runs to the garage to warm up the apache :biggrin: ]

[haku]

I second the nomination! Come on RC, you're either with us or against us.

The Twin Cities rock! Streets are clean, people are nice and relatively liberal (until you get 6 miles out of city center), houses are affordable, lots of Asian American arts and culture, tons of theater, and days so cold that the fog freezes on the trees.

Avoidancy factors are fairly high there, but it's balanced by the need to keep warm on those cold winter nights. He's NOT my boyfriend, she said, just my space heater.

[rice cracker]

The Twin Cities rock! Streets are clean, people are nice and relatively liberal (until you get 6 miles out of city center), houses are affordable, lots of Asian American arts and culture, tons of theater, and days so cold that the fog freezes on the trees.

Avoidancy factors are fairly high there, but it's balanced by the need to keep warm on those cold winter nights. He's NOT my boyfriend, she said, just my space heater.

So, in conclusion, a nice place to visit. And define "lots" because my hood is like, "none."

[deez nuts]

Fuck that, Minneapolis sucks. :tongue:


what are you talking about? you guys have mayo, one of the best hospitals in the world.

[rice cracker]

what are you talking about? you guys have mayo, one of the best hospitals in the world.

I'll trade places with you :smile:

[deez nuts]

I'll trade places with you :smile:

no, mayo rejected me. down with mayo!

convince mayo to accept me as a PGY5 and we have a deal.

actually wait, i take that back. their pay sucks.

[Tao]

no, mayo rejected me. down with mayo!

convince mayo to accept me as a PGY5 and we have a deal.

actually wait, i take that back. their pay sucks.

i hear mayo works their students like dogs though. guess it's better you got rejected

[deez nuts]

should i lock this thread or is there more to say about ny and sf asian women?

[mr. x]

Yes, sir!!!!

[me runs to the garage to warm up the apache :biggrin: ]

why do u have a native american in your garage :rolleyes:

[haku]

Thanks Chasiubao for reopening the thread!

So, some important data: NYC apparently has the highest ratio of women to men in the country (80 men to 100 women, just read in an article which I can't find right now). This has the obvious effect of increasing competition, etc.

SF has a worse ratio overall, and probably has more same-sex-interested people as well, cutting down the hetero dating potential.

One would think this would be more than counterbalanced by the greater number of Asians in the Bay Area. Bad assumption, I think.

NOW for the personal biased observations. I have been in this situation in both NYC and SF, and SF women are disasters at the off the cuff interlude.

Situation: Art Museum. Looking at the same objet. Guy (mois) makes a humorous comment, or a thoughtful comment, and is dressed reasonably well (and is known in general as a warm, humorous person). Or even seizes an opening to strike up a conversation: eg, there's a group at the museum from an organization he knows well, has friends in.

SF: Women might laugh, but it's like it's been squeezed from a rock, one with a tight rope wrapped around it. They never make an attempt to continue. These women continue to avoid contact, eye contact, etc, as we progress through the gallery.

NYC: The woman responds, asks a question, continues the repartee. I leave with a phone number or business card. Now, these women may never write me again, but, damn, they know how to play the game.

Just now, I did a similar thing: hanging out at a coffee house with wi fi, an API woman sitting next to me for the last 3 hours, we've exchanged a few casual comments. I make a comment about "Leaving so soon! Only after we've been here about 20 hours" with a big smile, and all she does is smile, and say "bye!"

It's like a wall here in SF, ladies and gentleman.

TS Eliot said in "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock": "Do I dare disturb the universe?" as the narrator contemplates saying hello to women in a gallery.

Well, brutha, apparently the 'universe' in SF don't wanna be disturbed.

I have got to say, I am so friggin' sick of this. I am out here helping, supporting, and the whole bit, and women just can't handle it. This same thing happens with casual acquaintances, etc. I have tons of women friends, and they rescue me from pure misogyny, but it's really a close call these days.

Ok, lemme have it.

[nola]

my bro said sf folks in general are snooty and cold/yuppies/looking for a better bmw, etc. since we're all generalizing here. now nyc sounds like fun (in general).

[nola]

SAN FRAN ROCKS LIKE NO OTHER CITY because it's the best city for Asians and for women.

[Irezumi Kiss]

SAN FRAN ROCKS LIKE NO OTHER CITY because it's the best city for Asians and for women.
And that's why you're in Florida right now, Nola?

j/k... :tongue:

NYC: The woman responds, asks a question, continues the repartee. I leave with a phone number or business card. Now, these women may never write me again, but, damn, they know how to play the game.
Oh yeah...women bullshit less here and go for what they want more. If they like what they see, they say something. At least until they get stoopid drunk so you never know what's gonna happen.

During the summertime at best, NYC kicks ass for at least ADMIRING beautiful Asian women. Now, MEETING them and HOOKING UP is pretty much up to serendipity!

:wink:

[nola]

SF is cost prohibitive for me. Florida can be pretty cheap. Right now I have a small business registering Florida voters.

I didn't write the second quote. That was haku.

[Irezumi Kiss]

SF is cost prohibitive for me. Florida can be pretty cheap. Right now I have a small business registering Florida voters.

I didn't write the second quote. That was haku.
Corrected the appropriation! Sorry 'bout that! (scratches noggin in chagrin)

So, I guess if you had the choice/means, you WOULD be living in SF, I take it?

[nola]

the people here are friendly. the weather is deliteful. my friends are groovy. san fran weather is a little cooler. it might be a little less friendly too. if i had a million dollars i'd live there or nyc!

[haku]

So Irezumi agrees as a NY-er that women there will go for what they like. And as much as I love the Bay Area, and love women, I have to say there's some stuckness here re women meeting new men and knowing what to do with attention.

Crash course, yo: be nice!
Crash course 2: You can't all be princesses (even tho I treat you like empresses)!

ps, Nola: REGISTER THOSE VOTERS!!!! Hey, I'm thinking of using my vacation time to go somewhere useful during the election, for get out the vote, etc. Just for my information, do you think ppl in your area could use somebody who showed up a few days before the election?

the people here are friendly. the weather is deliteful. my friends are groovy. san fran weather is a little cooler. it might be a little less friendly too. if i had a million dollars i'd live there or nyc!

And to bring it back to topic, before we approve your transfer :smile: would you converse with a charming stranger at an art gallery :biggrin:

[nola]

i think people in the area and in florida are getting the idea they should be out registering voters (like me). my picture was in the paper the other day with a caption saying i register about 20 people a day. and i think other people are starting to do the same thing even volunteering. it's not easy though.

do you have a millions dollars lying around for me to use?

[haku]

OT to Nola: No, sorry, no million bucks. Do you have to pay someone off :-) ? Actually, I think the reg effort is great, but then getting folks to the polls on the last day, making sure the voting's clean, etc, is what I'd like to do.

So Back to Topic; I don't like being bitter about the dating situation here in SF, it's just frustrating and makes me angry; though it's obviously not the most important thing in the world, it sure would make the rest of it easier to take (being in a relationship), and maybe allow each partner to recharge enough to take on the rest...but since I'm not moving to NY anytime soon, I have to figure out what's going on here, so I don't go through cycles of bitterness as I have been over the last few months.

So anyone in SF with ideas, let me know. WTF? :-)

[nola]

haku, sounds like you should be a poll worker. just go to your county courthouse/supervisor of elections office and sign up. you may get about $8 an hour for a full day's work.

[haku]

haku, sounds like you should be a poll worker. just go to your county courthouse/supervisor of elections office and sign up. you may get about $8 an hour for a full day's work.

No, I want to get out OUR vote. Yes, I wanna make sure it's fair too, but I can't stand Bush. The President. (That's a Harold and Kumar reference)

But let's get back to TOPIC before CSBB closes us!!! See above.

[Chester]

So anyone in SF with ideas, let me know. WTF? :-) It's just a different game here. What I've noticed is that folks in other big cities (i.e. NYC, LA, DC...) are more social, in general. People seem to be more accustomed to being out on the town and less cliqueish in terms of casual conversation with strangers. But I don't think that makes San Franciscans any less friendly...it's just a different social paradigm. Maybe people meet each other at yoga class instead of at bars.

[haku]

Hmmm... Well, I'm very active in all kinds of social scenes, esp related to the arts; it hasn't translated into more than casual friendships....

Hey, I don't think this is just about me, though. Other guys out there with pos or neg experiences, let us know...how's it done, g'dammit!

[nola]

haku, you can go to kerry parties/rallies until the election and make an occasional donation if you can.

san fran sounds snooty but maybe it's just the non-POCs.

[Irezumi Kiss]

haku, you can go to kerry parties/rallies until the election
You know, I was scrolling down a little quick and my warped imagination thought you said "you can go to KEY parties..."

:tongue:

Is SF really THAT dismal for gettin' together with someone? Even with Internet hook-ups? This has worked for me in the past, on various levels...

[Chester]

Hmmm... Well, I'm very active in all kinds of social scenes, esp related to the arts; it hasn't translated into more than casual friendships... Then you're putting yourself out there and just need to keep doing so until it pays off.

[Chester]

just wear a sandwich board that shouts: i am single, hear me roar. That, actually, is something that I think would be a bad strategy.

[nola]

You know, I was scrolling down a little quick and my warped imagination thought you said "you can go to KEY parties..."Oh yes, like I'm so Key.

(not).

[Irezumi Kiss]

how achingly practical. just wear a sandwich board that shouts: i am single, hear me roar.
How 'bout giving out FREE sandwiches to every single Asian woman in exchange for a date and THEN roaring?

[Chester]

Oh yes, like I'm so Key. What're key parties?

[Irezumi Kiss]

What're key parties?
Swapping parties for married couples (with variations for single swingers) in which a bunch of couples get together at someone's house and the husband deposits their car keys into an empty fishbowl located at the entrance. When everyone who has been invited has finally settled and after a certain amount of intoxication has been imbibed, the fishbowl is brought out and the wives fish around for a set of keys.

The husband that belongs to the set of keys that is fished out goes home with the wife who fished them. Very popular during the 70s (refer to the Ang Lee film "The Ice Storm") and enjoying a resurgance today with the acceptiblilty of neo-swingerism.

It works better for marrieds who want some variety. I dunno how well it works for singles, but you'd have to throw a party and make sure the boy/girl ratio is even. Also you could substitute any kind of personal effect in place of the keys, I guess.

Sounds like fun, eh?

[nola]

Oh yeah now I remember what that means. That sounds TERRIBLE!

[SunWuKong]

How 'bout giving out FREE sandwiches to every single Asian woman in exchange for a date and THEN roaring?

let's not and say we did.