HellBoy: a Review

[Adaon]

Review of HellBoy: The Movie

By Patrick Kong

Recently, a comeback of comic book heros have come back to the screen, whether that screen was the small screen in the privacy of people's homes to the big screens in those overpopulated neon bright cine-plexes. From Superman going through puberty to the forming of hero in Spiderman to the Hulk smashing onto the big screen, people worldwide have been entraced with comic book characters, come to life and comic book producers, such as Marvel Studios, have profited from them. However, with every harvest of fruit, there's always that one bad apple. And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present you the first candidate for the dubious title of THE worst Cinematic Interpretation of a Comic Book of 2004 would be Hellboy.

My movie experience started out hampered as it was, from the greasy KFC (Kitchen Fresh doesn't equate to chicken sitting under a heat lamp in its grease for several hours at a time) to the saving of 7 seats with only myselk and 4 sweatshirts. However, once the other members of the disgruntled audience dispersed and my friends arrived, the movie started well enough.

The opening scene of World War II was intriguing to the plot, and as it unfolded, you were introduced to the main players of the story, from the red skinned demon to a mysterious villain to the cheesy bespectacled, all knowing smart guy who gets ignored by the "good guys".The first five minutes was a great intriguing scene, followed by a one sided battle until a fluke occurs. Then, like the rest of the movie afterwards, it all goes down hill. The plot was pretty straight forward, but so simple, a 2 year old reading a book about the alphabet would have been more intriguing. The aged head of the Agency of Paranormal Defense faces his failing health and a 60 year old demon going through the throws of puberty and a first crush/love. To top things off, an enemy from the past has emerged to the future to threaten the world with annihilation again. Guess it's time to kick some butt. Yay. With no real character development, you can't tell the difference between the characters before, or after the non-existant climax/anti-climax.

From a love triangle, to the cheesy death of a character, to the "enrapturing" computer graphic battles, Hellboy takes you through two hours of pure underadulterated mind numbing Hell. My suggestion to anyone who hopes to be entertained at the movies, would to be to watch linoleum curl, if you have no other choice. At least you won't feel as braindead after. I want two hours of my life back.

[draconisz]

Review of HellBoy: The Movie

By Patrick Kong

Recently, a comeback of comic book heros have come back to the screen, whether that screen was the small screen in the privacy of people's homes to the big screens in those overpopulated neon bright cine-plexes. From Superman going through puberty to the forming of hero in Spiderman to the Hulk smashing onto the big screen, people worldwide have been entraced with comic book characters, come to life and comic book producers, such as Marvel Studios, have profited from them. However, with every harvest of fruit, there's always that one bad apple. And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present you the first candidate for the dubious title of THE worst Cinematic Interpretation of a Comic Book of 2004 would be Hellboy.

My movie experience started out hampered as it was, from the greasy KFC (Kitchen Fresh doesn't equate to chicken sitting under a heat lamp in its grease for several hours at a time) to the saving of 7 seats with only myselk and 4 sweatshirts. However, once the other members of the disgruntled audience dispersed and my friends arrived, the movie started well enough.

The opening scene of World War II was intriguing to the plot, and as it unfolded, you were introduced to the main players of the story, from the red skinned demon to a mysterious villain to the cheesy bespectacled, all knowing smart guy who gets ignored by the "good guys".The first five minutes was a great intriguing scene, followed by a one sided battle until a fluke occurs. Then, like the rest of the movie afterwards, it all goes down hill. The plot was pretty straight forward, but so simple, a 2 year old reading a book about the alphabet would have been more intriguing. The aged head of the Agency of Paranormal Defense faces his failing health and a 60 year old demon going through the throws of puberty and a first crush/love. To top things off, an enemy from the past has emerged to the future to threaten the world with annihilation again. Guess it's time to kick some butt. Yay. With no real character development, you can't tell the difference between the characters before, or after the non-existant climax/anti-climax.

From a love triangle, to the cheesy death of a character, to the "enrapturing" computer graphic battles, Hellboy takes you through two hours of pure underadulterated mind numbing Hell. My suggestion to anyone who hopes to be entertained at the movies, would to be to watch linoleum curl, if you have no other choice. At least you won't feel as braindead after. I want two hours of my life back.


Well, I am sorry you didn't like it. I give the movie 3 stars. I love Ron Perlman. He is as down to earth as it gets. The plot could have been a bit better. Maybe they could have tried to make things little bit more understandable with the Rasputin character, the nature of his powers, and what the hell was he trying to do. But Ron Perlman's performance as a demon with a dry sense of humor was priceless.

[kitty]

I loved it. it was somewhat predictable, but i'm not sure how much of that is really that bad since it was based on an existing graphic novel that has been around for awhile... :)

[yoMAMA]

haha...ron perlman is that dude that was in the 80s series " beauty and the beast".....along with linda hamilton......

i actually kinda liked that show...... :tongue:

[draconisz]

haha...ron perlman is that dude that was in the 80s series " beauty and the beast".....along with linda hamilton......

i actually kinda liked that show...... :tongue:

Well, I can't get with you on that one. But I have a few more movies to see, "Johnson's Family Vacation", "The Punisher", "Troy", and maybe a couple more.

[Adaon]

Dun get me wrong. I like Ron Perlman. I just didn't like the movie. Except one scene. When Meyers gets pegged by a rock (by an unknown assailant) Heh.

[draconisz]

Dun get me wrong. I like Ron Perlman. I just didn't like the movie. Except one scene. When Meyers gets pegged by a rock (by an unknown assailant) Heh.

LOL!!! That was funny.

[kitty]

I was gonna review this thing but you beat me to it! Good job with the review!

[Adaon]

no one's stoppin' ya babe. You're more the comic book aficionado than I will ever be, so your imput is MUCH appreciated. :biggrin:

[yoMAMA]

Dun get me wrong. I like Ron Perlman. I just didn't like the movie. Except one scene. When Meyers gets pegged by a rock (by an unknown assailant) Heh.

I think ron should be the vice president for john kerry.

That will fit the look of the campaign perfectly...... :eek:

[ellsworth81]

haha...ron perlman is that dude that was in the 80s series " beauty and the beast".....along with linda hamilton......

i actually kinda liked that show...... :tongue:
he was best in Alien Resurrection

[yoMAMA]

he was pretty good in "enemies at the gate"....although his role was pretty quickly killed off, too.

[Shogun Empress]

LOL@Hellboy coming out right after Passion of the Christ! Is this the best Satan can do? LOL He's destined to lose.

[kitty]

LOL@Hellboy coming out right after Passion of the Christ! Is this the best Satan can do? LOL He's destined to lose.

This isn't directed specifically towards this comment, but this joke is getting tired. Why do people see the word 'Hell' in the title of this movie and assume that it must be the antithesis of 'Passion'.

A) Passion is no religious epiphany. It's two hours of an exploration into the cruelty of man.

B) Hellboy has about as much to do with Satan as... a cat does with a can-opener.

[Shogun Empress]

This isn't directed specifically towards this comment, but this joke is getting tired. Why do people see the word 'Hell' in the title of this movie and assume that it must be the antithesis of 'Passion'.
It's not a joke. It's just a coincidence that Christians like to point out. I don't have a lot of faith in coincidences nor have I read any Hellboy comic books, so the first thing I see when I see a Hellboy commercial playing right after a Passion of Christ commercial is a God > Satan battle going on in Hollywood.

[Shogun Empress]

I saw it last night. Ron Perlman was born to play that role. I didn't like Samuel. It reminded me too much of the Hulk dogs. It was so cliche The guy with the blades died too easily and what happened to the FBI Director at the end of the movie? LOL@That guys jealous face at the end. The Seven Gods of Chaos looked like giant squid. The one at the end died easily. I don't see how they could of caused an Armageddon if all it took was a grenade belt to destroy them. These comic writers need to realize that we have nukes and missiles now. Please come up with something more believable :rolleyes:

edit: oh geez! use the spoiler tag!! if i hadn't already seen this movie, i would be cussin' you out right now!! -kitty

[kitty]

i don't understand why it's unbelievable.

i don't believe that the squiddy thing at the end was actually the seven gods of chaos. it was a small piece of the chaos gods that the bad guy had taken back with him when he came back from the dead. when he died, it got released. it wasn't the thing they were trying to resurrect because remember that thing was huuuuuuuuge....


and what's with the hatahs looking for realism? didn't hear this shit when we were talking about a bunch of vertically challenged people with athlete's foot running around trying to destroy a ring of power, along with wizards and a lot of dirty soldiers.

[Shogun Empress]

i don't understand why it's unbelievable.

i don't believe that the squiddy thing at the end was actually the seven gods of chaos. it was a small piece of the chaos gods that the bad guy had taken back with him when he came back from the dead. when he died, it got released. it wasn't the thing they were trying to resurrect because remember that thing was huuuuuuuuge....


and what's with the hatahs looking for realism? didn't hear this shit when we were talking about a bunch of vertically challenged people with athlete's foot running around trying to destroy a ring of power, along with wizards and a lot of dirty soldiers.
OMG I'm so sorry about that!

Oh okay. I do remember the things coming out the portal bieng huge but I was mistaken in believing that the one that came out Rasputin's body was the same size. My bad.

LOL@the Lord of the Rings comparison! Mabye this is why a lot of people have trouble with sci-fi and fantasy. The nerd in me used to hate the fact that you could hear the laser blasts in space in Star Wars and I was a bit taken aback at how some of the characters in Return of the King single-handedly took on those monstrous creatures. Mabye I just need to loosen up a little and enjoy the movie. I don't want realism so bad that it will end up having a horrible ending like in Matrix Revolutions. Oh crap I just realized my red font is showing through the spoiler warning LOL *edits*

[Adaon]

I thought that the bit in Rasputin was just the tiny bits that kept coming back with him everytime he came back to the realm of the living

[kitty]

I thought that the bit in Rasputin was just the tiny bits that kept coming back with him everytime he came back to the realm of the living

it was.

the other one was the size of denver.

[Irezumi Kiss]

This movie was VERY entertaining.

The only thing that ruined it for me were the motherfucking assholes three rows away deliberately talking loudly for ten minutes before leaving...I can't fucking stand assholes in movie theaters. I just can't...

The nerd in me used to hate the fact that you could hear the laser blasts in space in Star Wars and I was a bit taken aback at how some of the characters in Return of the King single-handedly took on those monstrous creatures.
heh heh heh

this kind of nerdiness in a woman is so SEXY...you do realize this, don't you?

Oh crap I just realized my red font is showing through the spoiler warning LOL
Every time I read your italicized red posts, I get this godlike echoplexed female voice running through my head...sorta like the Invid Queen in Robotech...

...the nerd in you will know what I'm talking about!

:redface:

[Coquinegra]

Well, I am sorry you didn't like it. I give the movie 3 stars. I love Ron Perlman. He is as down to earth as it gets. The plot could have been a bit better. Maybe they could have tried to make things little bit more understandable with the Rasputin character, the nature of his powers, and what the hell was he trying to do. But Ron Perlman's performance as a demon with a dry sense of humor was priceless.

AND, he's married to a sister!
That always makes me happy...to see a Black woman MARRIED
:tongue:

[Shogun Empress]

Every time I read your italicized red posts, I get this godlike echoplexed female voice running through my head...sorta like the Invid Queen in Robotech...

...the nerd in you will know what I'm talking about!

:redface:
*does google search*

The Invid Regis. Age: Unknown Weight: 220 lbs (estimated) Height:
7' (estimated) Race: Invid Affiliation: Invid Rank: Invid Queen ...

Comparing me to a tall, fat, purple alien bitch is not flattering.

[Irezumi Kiss]

*does google search*

The Invid Regis. Age: Unknown Weight: 220 lbs (estimated) Height:
7' (estimated) Race: Invid Affiliation: Invid Rank: Invid Queen ...

Comparing me to a tall, fat, purple alien bitch is not flattering.
nooooo...it's the VOICE! the VOICE!!!!

The purple guy was the Regent. The Regis was a bald, nominally good looking humanoid!

http://www.kent.net/robotech/information/regis.jpg

[kitty]

okay guys, this has nothing to do with Hellboy. Please take it to PMs or get back on topic :)

[Irezumi Kiss]

okay guys, this has nothing to do with Hellboy. Please take it to PMs or get back on topic :)
Sorry Kitty...

....I guess all this Hellboy talk just brought out the DEVIL in us!

:tongue:

[yoMAMA]

hellboy rules!

:p

[Faithless]

I liked it.

Wish it was more hellish -- kind of like if a superhero Exorcist were to meet and conquer the depths of hell. I'm sure the evil characters were something like that, but not evil or scary enough.

The love story was sort of corny. But that's Hollywood. I would not have wasted the scenes of hellboy chasing around the love interest. I would have made the love story just there -- mysterious, strong, and difficult to figure-out by others.