I hate Infatuation.

[artsfartsyjanet]

I met a guy not too long ago, and I find him very interesting-- so interesting that I developed this "crush" on him, but I'm still trying to keep myself on the down low since I'm VERY cautious about dating guys. Anyway, how do all of you feel about the inevitable "crush" you have on someone? Do you like the feeling or does it kill you as it does for me? Perhaps, I'm being too pessimistic here, but at this moment in my life, being in a romantic relationship means two people will get sick of each other. It's just a matter of time.... What's wrong with me? ;) :blink:

[kasia]

i tend to have crushes on people i don't know at all or don't know very well. it's much nicer that way b/c it allows me to attribute whatever traits i want to them. e.g., i bet he wears *these* types of shoes. i bet he thinks *this* way about *this* issue. that's what crushes are about, right? projecting your idea of the ideal s.o. onto a real person. that is why i make i point to never get to know my crushes--b/c it has proven to be very disappointing in the past.

[johnny]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 3 2002, 06:48 AM
I met a guy not too long ago, and I find him very interesting-- so interesting that I developed this "crush" on him, but I'm still trying to keep myself on the down low since I'm VERY cautious about dating guys. Anyway, how do all of you feel about the inevitable "crush" you have on someone? Do you like the feeling or does it kill you as it does for me? Perhaps, I'm being too pessimistic here, but at this moment in my life, being in a romantic relationship means two people will get sick of each other. It's just a matter of time.... What's wrong with me? ;) :blink:
Janet, I have this similar feeling for this girl¡¦ it drives me crazy and it is something that will not go away.

[wylin]

Johny just dont let ur feelings consume ur whole life, i seen people do this and it becomes either dangerous to yourself or frightening to the other party.

[amietron]

Originally posted by wylin@Sep 3 2002, 08:03 AM
Johny just dont let ur feelings consume ur whole life, i seen people do this and it becomes either dangerous to yourself or frightening to the other party.
More important of the two is dangerous to self.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by wylin@Sep 3 2002, 11:03 AM
Johny just dont let ur feelings consume ur whole life, i seen people do this and it becomes either dangerous to yourself or frightening to the other party.
All I do is think about this guy it seems, but I don't let him get in the way of my work. It bugs me though b/c I hate feeling like I'm obsessed. GRR... :angry: Must think of other things.....(oh there he is again!)

[wylin]

think about reality its the hardest thing to do but maybe belittle him in ur mind go hez a lil flabby there, pimple scar there, hez a jerk to person X and person Y he treats favorablely. Make a falacy list!

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by wylin@Sep 3 2002, 02:01 PM
think about reality its the hardest thing to do but maybe belittle him in ur mind go hez a lil flabby there, pimple scar there, hez a jerk to person X and person Y he treats favorablely. Make a falacy list!
It's hard when I don't know him well enough to know where his scars are or where and if he has any flab. We just have a lot in common. I guess it couldn't hurt to feel good about someone I enjoy. I should tell myself, Carpe Diem! :blink:

[karizma]

>> janet i know just how you feel =)...i think its nice having someone to crush on...occupy your thoughts once in a while as long as it doesnt get to the point where it disrupts your daily activities. do you plan on trying to hook up with this guy or are you an admirer from afar [not in a stalker-ish way]...i think infatuation is most apparent in high school relationships where 2 people spend every waking moment with each other and refuse to believe that there is life after the breakup...irks the crap out of me when these people come to me saying they absolutely wont live without this person because theyve made their lives revolve around each other and every other word in a sentence pertains to their significant other...*vomit*.

>> congrats if you find a guy who doesnt disgust you, annoy the crap out of you, and doesnt want to get into your pants...if all his little imperfections dont bug you than even better =)...

[thaite]

I'm kind of the opinion of taking it when it comes, and trying not to pass up the opportunity for love or to at least the explore every possibility -- even if it disappoints.

So, ask yourself: When you're 95 will you look back at your life and be satisfied with all friends that you've made, or will you look to your side and see your one true friend sitting there with you?

Okay, enough of this sappiness...

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by karizma@Sep 3 2002, 10:38 PM
>> janet i know just how you feel =)...i think its nice having someone to crush on...occupy your thoughts once in a while as long as it doesnt get to the point where it disrupts your daily activities. do you plan on trying to hook up with this guy or are you an admirer from afar [not in a stalker-ish way]...i think infatuation is most apparent in high school relationships where 2 people spend every waking moment with each other and refuse to believe that there is life after the breakup...irks the crap out of me when these people come to me saying they absolutely wont live without this person because theyve made their lives revolve around each other and every other word in a sentence pertains to their significant other...*vomit*.

>> congrats if you find a guy who doesnt disgust you, annoy the crap out of you, and doesnt want to get into your pants...if all his little imperfections dont bug you than even better =)...
I hope he doesn't see this forum or shiet! Anyway, I met him at my Asian Student Coalition board meeting. He's from Winnipeg but studying orthodontics at my university for the next 2.5 years. The major reason why I like him SO FAR is that he can take a little thing about life and run with it in a conversation. It's awesome. The problem is that I'm not current with sports. Maybe some tennis and basketball here and there, but I definitely haven't caught onto football. I have no idea what's going on! Derrr!! I don't hate the sport. I just never bothered to make it a priority to know what's going on. That's okay, I'm not disappointed in myself b/c everyone's different. If he and I were very much the same, i'd actually be petrified. Anyway, he has a great smile and a great sense of humor. He and I grew up almost the same way-- with lovely authoritarian parents. So, we feel each other's "pain". heheh.... A few nights ago, we met up at the business school and he followed my car to a bubble tea place I introduced. Afterward, he, a couple of my female friends, and I dined at Cafe O's, this sophisticated live jazz bar. My friends think he seems nice so far, but they're also watching out for me. They hate to see a repeat of my last relationship. Damn, it's getting hot in he'ya. :lol:



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 3 2002, 11:02 PM-->

[karizma]

>> wow...sounds like something you should pursue ~_^ good luck woman!!

[artsfartsyjanet]

He just asked me out!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! Ok, I sound like a typical highschooler. AHHHHHHHHH!!! :D

[mrazntre]

i ban all forms of infatuation. only sex and lust allowed.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by mrazntre@Sep 4 2002, 02:56 AM
i ban all forms of infatuation. only sex and lust allowed.
Why can't the world be like this all the time? Just get it over with! jk

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 3 2002, 07:57 PM
I hope he doesn't see this forum or shiet! Anyway, I met him at my Asian Student Coalition board meeting. He's from Winnipeg but studying orthodontics at my university for the next 2.5 years. The major reason why I like him SO FAR is that he can take a little thing about life and run with it in a conversation. It's awesome. The problem is that I'm not current with sports. Maybe some tennis and basketball here and there, but I definitely haven't caught onto football. I have no idea what's going on! Derrr!! I don't hate the sport. I just never bothered to make it a priority to know what's going on. That's okay, I'm not disappointed in myself b/c everyone's different. If he and I were very much the same, i'd actually be petrified. Anyway, he has a great smile and a great sense of humor. He and I grew up almost the same way-- with lovely authoritarian parents. So, we feel each other's "pain". heheh.... A few nights ago, we met up at the business school and he followed my car to a bubble tea place I introduced. Afterward, he, a couple of my female friends, and I dined at Cafe O's, this sophisticated live jazz bar. My friends think he seems nice so far, but they're also watching out for me. They hate to see a repeat of my last relationship. Damn, it's getting hot in he'ya. :lol:
I bet you wrote that entire message in 1.2 seconds:P

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Sep 4 2002, 11:05 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 3 2002, 07:57 PM
I hope he doesn't see this forum or shiet! &nbsp;Anyway, I met him at my Asian Student Coalition board meeting. &nbsp;He's from Winnipeg but studying orthodontics at my university for the next 2.5 years. &nbsp;The major reason why I like him SO FAR is that he can take a little thing about life and run with it in a conversation. &nbsp;It's awesome. &nbsp;The problem is that I'm not current with sports. &nbsp;Maybe some tennis and basketball here and there, but I definitely haven't caught onto football. I have no idea what's going on! Derrr!! I don't hate the sport. &nbsp;I just never bothered to make it a priority to know what's going on. &nbsp;That's okay, I'm not disappointed in myself b/c everyone's different. If he and I were very much the same, i'd actually be petrified. &nbsp;Anyway, he has a great smile and a great sense of humor. &nbsp;He and I grew up almost the same way-- with lovely authoritarian parents. So, we feel each other's "pain". &nbsp;heheh.... A few nights ago, we met up at the business school and he followed my car to a bubble tea place I introduced. &nbsp;Afterward, he, a couple of my female friends, and I dined at Cafe O's, this sophisticated live jazz bar. &nbsp;My friends think he seems nice so far, but they're also watching out for me. &nbsp;They hate to see a repeat of my last relationship. &nbsp;Damn, it's getting hot in he'ya. &nbsp;:lol:
I bet you wrote that entire message in 1.2 seconds:P
No, 0.8 seconds. =)

[artsfartsyjanet]

Ok, I had a lovely night out at this ecclectic sushi place and watched a movie with this guy. A few nights later, we rented a late night blockbuster after i got off of work at midnight. So far, this guy and I are communicating up the yin yang about foreign films, school, life, yahta yahta. We went out two times, he's called me at work, and he's called me at my house, BUT I have no clue if he actually likes me more than a friend OR if he's just seeking a platonic relationship..... Infatuation is confusing. He seems to be very motivated to go to the functions my organization's hosting. He even wants to arrive early, but it could just be the free gifts we're offering for the first 25 arrivees. =) Damn it, I want to hug him, but I can't find a good opportunity. This feels like junior high.... drr... I wonder if he feels the same? Do you make the first move or does the guy have to make the first move? ( I wonder if he's secretly reading this..... after all, I told him about this website.) :unsure: :wub:



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 9 2002, 07:46 PM-->

[kimpossible]

Don't know what to say but I'm crossing my fingers for you. :)

[karizma]

>> wow...this is exciting ^_^...good luck!!! he sounds like someone whose interested in you =)...you can give him a hello or goodbye hug? those are always good reasons. hehe

[artsfartsyjanet]

I guess it wouldn't hurt to give him a goodbye/hello hug. I just don't want to make my actions seem forced upon him, or worse, a reason to scare him away.....

[thaite]

Ya know what I hate about infatuation? It's the paranoid, nagging feeling that I like her far more than she likes me and that I'm setting myself up for disappointment.

That's what I hate.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 9 2002, 10:00 PM
I guess it wouldn't hurt to give him a goodbye/hello hug. I just don't want to make my actions seem forced upon him, or worse, a reason to scare him away.....
i don't think you really have to worry about forcing your actions upon him or scaring him away. the only thing to really worry about when you make the first move toward a guy is that he'll take it for granted.

yes men are pigs i should know i'm a man.

[johnny]

i disagree, if the guy really likes her he will not take it for granted.

Sometimes I wish the girl would make her move or at least throw some sort of sign that she digs me so I could go about making the move.

not all men are pigs... I'm a perfect gentlemen :D

[johnny]

Originally posted by buoywonder@Sep 10 2002, 04:02 AM
Ya know what I hate about infatuation? It's the paranoid, nagging feeling that I like her far more than she likes me and that I'm setting myself up for disappointment.

That's what I hate.
been there done that so many times ...

Setting one's self up for Disappoinment and knowing that it will come really sucks.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by johnny@Sep 10 2002, 01:48 AM
i disagree, if the guy really likes her he will not take it for granted.

Sometimes I wish the girl would make her move or at least throw some sort of sign that she digs me so I could go about making the move.

not all men are pigs... I'm a perfect gentlemen :D
ok i guess it's just me then. i'm a pig and i take women for granted.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Well, I asked him to go to the Saint Louis Art Fair, which is supposedly #1 in the nation. This is his response,
Saint Louis Art Fair? How come I never heard anything
about this? I'd love to go! Where is it being held?
I think I can manage to make some time this weekend.
It's not like I do anything, I just sit on my ass all
day and watch 15 hours of football. The more I think
about that stat, the more disturbed I get. I am a
junkie.............


Perhaps, I can fit in a hello/goodbye hug this Saturday. *cross my fingers*
:rolleyes:

[artsfartsyjanet]

The more I talk to him, the more I think he wants to be my friend.... :( I shouldn't be selfish though because it's great to have a friend than to have no friend at all. *blue*



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Sep 10 2002, 10:43 PM-->

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by buoywonder@Sep 10 2002, 04:02 AM
Ya know what I hate about infatuation? It's the paranoid, nagging feeling that I like her far more than she likes me and that I'm setting myself up for disappointment.

That's what I hate.
werd.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Sep 10 2002, 10:46 PM
Originally posted by buoywonder@Sep 10 2002, 04:02 AM
Ya know what I hate about infatuation? It's the paranoid, nagging feeling that I like her far more than she likes me and that I'm setting myself up for disappointment.

That's what I hate.
werd.
As I have stated, I hate infatuation. ;)

[Arex]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 10 2002, 08:43 PM
The more I talk to him, the more I think he wants to be my friend.... :( I shouldn't be selfish though because it's great to have a friend than to have no friend at all. *blue*
It's perfectly okay to be selfish. True, it's better to have a friend than no friend at all. But there comes a point where you have enough friends and you're hoping for more. No need to feel bad for being disappointed under such circumstances.

Of course, you can never really know the actual circumstances 'til you try...

Alex

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Arex@Sep 11 2002, 04:23 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 10 2002, 08:43 PM
The more I talk to him, the more I think he wants to be my friend.... &nbsp; :( &nbsp; I shouldn't be selfish though because it's great to have a friend than to have no friend at all. &nbsp;*blue*
It's perfectly okay to be selfish. True, it's better to have a friend than no friend at all. But there comes a point where you have enough friends and you're hoping for more. No need to feel bad for being disappointed under such circumstances.

Of course, you can never really know the actual circumstances 'til you try...

Alex
Thanks Alex. =) You offer such glimmer of hope. *hugs*

[SunWuKong]

if it was me, i'd say to the girl, "i don't want you as a friend, i want you as a girlfriend. goodbye."



<!--EDIT|SunWuKung|Sep 11 2002, 03:11 PM-->

[amietron]

Originally posted by johnny@Sep 9 2002, 10:48 PM
i disagree, if the guy really likes her he will not take it for granted.
what if he doesn't realize it until *after* it's over? then what?

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 11 2002, 03:10 PM
if it was me, i'd say to the girl, "i don't want you as a friend, i want you as a girlfriend. goodbye."
Why the sudden goodbye? :blink:

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 11 2002, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 11 2002, 03:10 PM
if it was me, i'd say to the girl, "i don't want you as a friend, i want you as a girlfriend. &nbsp;goodbye."
Why the sudden goodbye? :blink:
man's gotta make a stand somewhere.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 11 2002, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 11 2002, 03:10 PM
if it was me, i'd say to the girl, "i don't want you as a friend, i want you as a girlfriend. &nbsp;goodbye."
Why the sudden goodbye? :blink:
well i don't want her as a friend. she doesn't want me as a boyfriend. isn't it only natural to say goodbye?

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 12 2002, 12:30 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 11 2002, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 11 2002, 03:10 PM
if it was me, i'd say to the girl, "i don't want you as a friend, i want you as a girlfriend. goodbye."
Why the sudden goodbye? :blink:
well i don't want her as a friend. she doesn't want me as a boyfriend. isn't it only natural to say goodbye?
Eh... I'd rather learn about a person as a friend even if my hopes aren't reciprocated. :blink: :huh:

[artsfartsyjanet]

Ok, this guy and I just spoke to each other for about half an hour or so on the phone talking about religion, politics, philosophy, his nightmares, my childhood, this heated debate about United States agenda on terrorism between he and his friend, and so on...... Then, he tells me that I'm an open minded person and he says he hardly finds anyone who has been as open-minded as I have been..... Then, I tease him about his fast food diet, and he inquires about my long day. I suppose close friends can talk about this stuff, but I hardly know him that well and yet I feel like I've known him for awhile. :wub: :mellow:

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 12 2002, 12:33 AM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 12 2002, 12:30 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 11 2002, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 11 2002, 03:10 PM
if it was me, i'd say to the girl, "i don't want you as a friend, i want you as a girlfriend. goodbye."
Why the sudden goodbye? :blink:
well i don't want her as a friend. she doesn't want me as a boyfriend. isn't it only natural to say goodbye?
Eh... I'd rather learn about a person as a friend even if my hopes aren't reciprocated. :blink: :huh:
ok well, there's a difference between dating a friend and getting to know someone because you're attracted to him/her. it seems to me that your case is a case of the latter.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 12 2002, 12:49 AM
Ok, this guy and I just spoke to each other for about half an hour or so on the phone talking about religion, politics, philosophy, his nightmares, my childhood, this heated debate about United States agenda on terrorism between he and his friend, and so on...... Then, he tells me that I'm an open minded person and he says he hardly finds anyone who has been as open-minded as I have been..... Then, I tease him about his fast food diet, and he inquires about my long day. I suppose close friends can talk about this stuff, but I hardly know him that well and yet I feel like I've known him for awhile. :wub: :mellow:
... and while i don't know anything about this guy, i can safely say that i, as a guy, would not spend half an hour talking about all that stuff on the phone with a girl (or with a guy for that matter) if i wasn't at least a little interested in being more than a friend.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Sep 12 2002, 02:26 AM
Originally posted by artsfartsyjanet@Sep 12 2002, 12:49 AM
Ok, this guy and I just spoke to each other for about half an hour or so on the phone talking about religion, politics, philosophy, his nightmares, my childhood, this heated debate about United States agenda on terrorism between he and his friend, and so on...... Then, he tells me that I'm an open minded person and he says he hardly finds anyone who has been as open-minded as I have been..... &nbsp;Then, I tease him about his fast food diet, and he inquires about my long day. &nbsp; I suppose close friends can talk about this stuff, but I hardly know him that well and yet I feel like I've known him for awhile. &nbsp; :wub: &nbsp;:mellow:
... and while i don't know anything about this guy, i can safely say that i, as a guy, would not spend half an hour talking about all that stuff on the phone with a girl (or with a guy for that matter) if i wasn't at least a little interested in being more than a friend.
Thanks for your perspective on my "hopeless" romantic life. :rolleyes: