Are Asian Females "Abandoning" Asian Males?

[tapestrybabe]

Me, I am not one that is against inter racial dating and inter racial marraiges. However, if you are asian, black, hispanic, or whatever... that only prefers dating people outside of your race and not withing your own race... I do see that as kinda like a problem.

I mean, if your an asian female that has a preference to dating white guys... I think its an important to ask.... why is it you wouldn't want to date another asian man??

This is not to say that an asian female that dates a white guy is a sell out and is not keeping it real... Cuz I think you can still have that same sense of pride of your race and culture.. even if your dating someone outside of it. However, I don't think you can have that same sense of pride if you are just totally against dating within your own race. Cuz the way I see it... taking pride in being an asian female, means also taking pride in the asian male....

[thaite]

Hey, I take whatever comes my way. I think I've dated most of the rainbow.

I'm hoping I can date this chick.
[img:1c3a154ce4]http://www.aajaz.org/gifs2/gallery_5.jpg[/img:1c3a154ce4]

Oh wait, this was a question for the females, wasn't it?

[achtungbaby]

Oh wait, this was a question for the females, wasn't it?

You'd have such interesting looking kids!

[kasia]

i'll be keepin it real either way, b/c my great great great grandmother was white.

[tapestrybabe]

[quote:106f72ef7c="kasia"]i'll be keepin it real either way, b/c my great great great grandmother was white.[/quote:106f72ef7c]

So... I guess when it comes to being a mix of different races, being multi racial, or multi cultural.. you keep it real by acknowledging all those aspects...

[kasia]

[quote:594329386c]So... I guess when it comes to being a mix of different races, being multi racial, or multi cultural.. you keep it real by acknowledging all those aspects...[/quote:594329386c]

i dunno. i didn't really give it much thought. but it makes it harder for people to call me a sell-out if i'm mixed and i date a white guy. :wink:

[ChinaLama]

Ok, THIS will get the ball rolling for realz!

I say, all the FINE asian american sistaz out there, well, they have their choices, so of course it would be preferable if they pity a foo' like this kid right here. It's all good cuz they're beautiful and beautiful women should spread their love all around.

As for ugly girls, No Thanks. Stop hitting on Asian guys and making US look like we're desperate. Go find a nice white boi and do him some favors. To quote a Taiwanese or Chinese singer: "Don't Want No Uglllly Girl." I mean white guys put LUCY LIU above GONG LI. What the HELL are they thinking? look, if they're into ugly girls, that's fine. If they're into their asian fetishes for women with big implants and layers of makeup, that's fine. It'll get the Ugly Women off our Asian backs and allow us to concentrate on the better people, you know, what we Chinese people call Asians or ourselves, I dunno, "hua ren," the Splendid People. That way we can produce more Gong Li's in our gene pool and fewer Lucy Liu's...although actually she's not THAt bad but she's not as hot as mainstream America with its Asian fetish thinks it is.

The ones in the middle...well i suppose they should do whatever in respect of their individuality.




Heheheh ok anyway, the ugly girl comment may be a little out of line...and maybe the white boi references are kinda racist. if you're ugly and can take a joke, bravo for you. i'm pretty ugly too--at least my body is pretty laughable. But if you're ugly and UPTIGHT, then don't even talk to me. Please, just save some space.

[kasia]

[quote:c68ba8009d]To quote a Taiwanese or Chinese singer: "Don't Want No Uglllly Girl." [/quote:c68ba8009d]

hey! i know that song...it goes, "ooh, she's so ugly. oh yeh, she's an ugly girl! ooh, she's so ugly. oh yeh, she's an ugly girl. lalalalalalalalala."

that song cracks me up :lol:

want me to say something mean? i think mexican guys would go out with anything breathing. i was walking my dog in my pajamas two nights ago, wearing my glasses, face unwashed. (nice, eh?) i was leaning over picking up my doggie's poop with a plastic bag when a car full of mexican guys stopped next to the curb. they started saying, 'i love you,' etc. it was pretty humiliating and i wanted to throw the dog shit into their car, but it was late at night and i was the only girl walking around. i still regret not throwing the shit into their car. or rubbing it into the drivers face and into his mouth. :D yummy thought.

mariel cubans are not mexican.

[ChinaLama]

ohhh im not sure if it goes like that, cuz i dont have the song anymore. but it was so hilarious when i first heard it. like this dude's friend sets him up w/ a "hot date" and it turns out to be his grandma. :lol:

[amietron]

[quote:03623abedf="ChinaLama"]if you're ugly and can take a joke, bravo for you.[/quote:03623abedf]YO- that's ME!

Proves the point that it's ALL about looks. Well, looks [u:03623abedf]and[/u:03623abedf] money!
If you haven't got either of 'em, you're screwed for life. :cry:

[ChinaLama]

[quote:2274830b60="amietron"][quote:2274830b60="ChinaLama"]if you're ugly and can take a joke, bravo for you.[/quote:2274830b60]YO- that's ME!

Proves the point that it's ALL about looks. Well, looks [u:2274830b60]and[/u:2274830b60] money!
If you haven't got either of 'em, you're screwed for life. :cry:[/quote:2274830b60]

hey hey grasshopper = big legs = sexy mama. ;)

anyway, i'm ugly and po' too...have no job so dun really have money, and I look like a joke. Or rather more just a really sad case of a 21 yr old stuck in a 13 yr old's muscle structure. :roll:

[amietron]

Yeah, yeah.. whatever!

[NotAsian]

Hmm... why should Asian women be "compelled" only to datre Asian men. I know if I was told by someone (whether I was Asian or not) I should only date Asians I'd just say "screw you!" (Actually knowing me I'd probably go off and do it anyway but you know what I mean :P )

I think I have to make particular comment on Tapestrybabe's post here - if I had a preference to dating a particular race then why should I do anything but obey it? Think about it. People make the decision all the time whom to date and whom not to - it's a fundamental part of animal nature. People choose certain types of people over others, they don't just go and choose somebody at random in the street (well not around here they don't 8O ). They make choices. Choices which are largely controlled by their emotions. Emotions which they cannot control.

You don't get to decide anything about your sexual preference. Gay people don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen and say "Yes, I think I'd like ro be gay". Similarly, people who prefer a particular race don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen or say "Hmm, yes, I think I'd like to prefer white/Asian people" (whatever)

Everyone "discriminates" to some degree with regard to sex and relationships. If people were denied that, depressing though it may seem, the world would fall apart. It's what keeps the whole of the animal kingdom going.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:9010f7d43e="NotAsian"]You don't get to decide anything about your sexual preference. Gay people don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen and say "Yes, I think I'd like ro be gay". Similarly, people who prefer a particular race don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen or say "Hmm, yes, I think I'd like to prefer white/Asian people" (whatever)[/quote:9010f7d43e]

How can you compare homosexuality with one's ethnic/racial preference in dating? Are you implying that that ethnic/racial preference is inherent somehow, like, unchangable...?

[NotAsian]

[quote:3428603949="achtungbaby"][quote:3428603949="NotAsian"]You don't get to decide anything about your sexual preference. Gay people don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen and say "Yes, I think I'd like ro be gay". Similarly, people who prefer a particular race don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen or say "Hmm, yes, I think I'd like to prefer white/Asian people" (whatever)[/quote:3428603949]

How can you compare homosexuality with one's ethnic/racial preference in dating? Are you implying that that ethnic/racial preference is inherent somehow, like, unchangable...?[/quote:3428603949]

In some cases yes. And I would know.

[amietron]

[quote:2146b6fafe="NotAsian"]And I would know.[/quote:2146b6fafe]
I thinks you're cool. :)

[tapestrybabe]

[quote:a8e24c5cfa="NotAsian"]Hmm... why should Asian women be "compelled" only to date Asian men. [/quote:a8e24c5cfa]

It's not a matter of an Asian female having to be compelled to date only Asian men. I mean, I don't mind inter racial dating. But my problem is... someone who refuses and totally denies in wanting to date within their own race. I mean, flat out refusing to date someone within your own race... is kinda in away denying that part of you that makes up who you are. I'm Asian, I can NEVER change it. So its something I must deal with. And taking pride in being an Asian female also means taking pride in the Asian male. And while I think I shouldn't be compelled to only date Asian males..... I'm not going to deny them... cuz I don't want to deny myself...


[quote:a8e24c5cfa="NotAsian"] You don't get to decide anything about your sexual preference. Gay people don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen and say "Yes, I think I'd like to be gay". Similarly, people who prefer a particular race don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen or say "Hmm, yes, I think I'd like to prefer white/Asian people" (whatever)[/quote:a8e24c5cfa]

Whether homosexuality is inherent is debatable. Some I believe are born that way.. while others it becomes a choice thru certain life experiences and influences. And homosexuality shouldn't be seen as so black and white. Cuz yes, ones sexual preferences can change and fluctuate thru time...

But when it comes to racial preference.... your wrong about this as it being inherent. Like your born with a racial preference?! Me, I think it's more learned... While I may not have had any dating experiences while growing up... the desire of dating another Asian male was a total joke for me. Me, I had no sense of being intuned with of my Asian self. Hence, no sense in being intuned with the Asian male. And the more I've become aware of my own identity... the changes in my preference I have developed. Asian female pride! = Asian male pride! And yes,.. the connection that I have for other Asians... no other non asian can feel it and breathe it like me.... no matter how culturally sensitive one is, or no matter how more knowledgable one is in asian cultural... Cuz it has to do with race and racial pride. And when it comes to race... yes, its what your born with. It's inherent. But when it comes to Racial Pride... that's more learned, developed and becoming aware!

And I'm not saying all... but this is why I think there are some Asian females abandoning the Asian male (hence abandoning themselves)... Cuz no matter how Americanized one is, like for instance like me... I've become aware that never should I deny my Asian self. And this sense of pride is not inherent, but it's learned!! And this sense of pride should be taught at day one when your born. And when I do see an Asian female with a white male... I got to question... how intuned are they with their own Asian Pride, their own Asian heritage, and their own Asian origional roots??

[amietron]

[quote:42adc57cc9="Tapestrybabe"]
[quote:42adc57cc9="NotAsian"] You don't get to decide anything about your sexual preference. Gay people don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen and say "Yes, I think I'd like to be gay". Similarly, people who prefer a particular race don't wake up one morning at the age of twelve or thirteen or say "Hmm, yes, I think I'd like to prefer white/Asian people" (whatever)[/quote:42adc57cc9]

Whether homosexuality is inherent is debatable. Some I believe are born that way.. while others it becomes a choice thru certain life experiences and influences. And homosexuality shouldn't be seen as so black and white. Cuz yes, ones sexual preferences can change and fluctuate thru time... [/quote:42adc57cc9]
I took Bio110 at a community college a few years back. I remember the professor saying that many of her scientist peers were homosexual men, and that homosexuality could be a hereditary trait.

[ChinaLama]

I agree with Tapestry. Cuz Even tho maybe the BASICS are hereditary, people still can influence their own sexual orientation to some way. Like most of us have probably had bi urges or at least sexually AMBIGUOUS urges as kids or young teenagers, but most of eventually became either heterosexual or bisexual (i STILL think it makes more sense for a person to be bi than gay but whatever). I mean, you ever see little kids? damn they're mad FRUITY.

umm anywayz, so i think most of us eventually convince ourselves we're heterosexual and any gay urges we may have had sort of either disappear or we repress them. And for gay people, maybe they realize their gay urges were strong and just decided to ignore their heterosexual urges. A lot of ppl who may have become gay also maybe convinced themselves to stick w/ chicks and became as hetero as other straight men.

but shrug this is just my loony theory, based on a very VERY loose interpretation of Freud, who i think thought we were all born bi or like horny for everything or anything, and i agree w/ that view. I think MOST of us are only like 90 or 99% hetero or whatever and keep our homo sides repressed, and some of us are less successful at that repression than others.

[NotAsian]

[quote:14759398d4]Whether homosexuality is inherent is debatable. Some I believe are born that way.. while others it becomes a choice thru certain life experiences and influences. And homosexuality shouldn't be seen as so black and white. Cuz yes, ones sexual preferences can change and fluctuate thru time...

But when it comes to racial preference.... your wrong about this as it being inherent. Like your born with a racial preference?! Me, I think it's more learned... While I may not have had any dating experiences while growing up... the desire of dating another Asian male was a total joke for me. Me, I had no sense of being intuned with of my Asian self. Hence, no sense in being intuned with the Asian male. And the more I've become aware of my own identity... the changes in my preference I have developed. Asian female pride! = Asian male pride! :: snip :: no matter how culturally sensitive one is, or no matter how more knowledgable one is in asian cultural... Cuz it has to do with race and racial pride. And when it comes to race... yes, its what your born with. It's inherent. But when it comes to Racial Pride... that's more learned, developed and becoming aware!
[/quote:14759398d4]

Hmm, maybe you don't see entirely what I mean - although it does have some relevance within the topic. What you are referring to is an instance of rejection of a particular race with sociological causes. I was thinking more psychologically. Yes, I am a strong believer that, just as one can have a preference for a particular sex, one can have a preference for a particular race in exactly the same way.

I don't think anybody is born homosexual, it's (in my reckoning) something that people become through certain life experiences and social conditions whilst at an age when one is developing. It therefore follows that, given the right experiences, one can be affected so as to have any sort of "sexual preference", extending as far as preferring a particular race rather than a particular sex (and once again I mention that I ought to know, and for the first time I mention that I will not elaborate on this point ;) )

[quote:14759398d4]
And I'm not saying all... but this is why I think there are some Asian females abandoning the Asian male (hence abandoning themselves)... Cuz no matter how Americanized one is, like for instance like me... I've become aware that never should I deny my Asian self. And this sense of pride is not inherent, but it's learned!! And this sense of pride should be taught at day one when your born. And when I do see an Asian female with a white male... I got to question... how intuned are they with their own Asian Pride, their own Asian heritage, and their own Asian origional roots??[/quote:14759398d4]

Hmm, perhaps. You use the word "pride" quite a bit. It's always been my opinion that having "pride" in one's race is more or less equivalent to racism (since pride implies that you are happy to be associated with aomething. If I said to you that I'm proud of being white then that would imply that I would prefer to be white than anything else, for which I would require a reason). But this is probably just splitting hairs about the definitions of words, so anyway *cough* About all this Asian pride stuff, sorry but I don't see what value it has in the big scheme of things. If an Asian has pride in themself, who's it going to benefit? If they don't, will they be any less happy? Hmm, perhaps I'm being a little overly-critical here, and perhaps it's because I've been staring at the screen for the last ten minutes trying to remember what my opinion about this was when I clicked the Reply button..... er yes, well anyway: *ahem*

[quote:14759398d4]And yes,.. the connection that I have for other Asians... no other non asian can feel it and breathe it like me.... [/quote:14759398d4]

:o wow, you really know how to make people feel left-out :cry:

[kasia]

why try to rationalize it?

asian men are just cuter :!:

[amietron]

[quote:bbedb87d96="kasia"]why try to rationalize it?

asian men are just cuter :!:[/quote:bbedb87d96]

That's just a personal opinion. A Latin chick would
probably argue otherwise, Black chick too.

[kasia]

[quote:8db4ac92dd="amietron"][quote:8db4ac92dd="kasia"]why try to rationalize it?

asian men are just cuter :!:[/quote:8db4ac92dd]

That's just a personal opinion. A Latin chick would
probably argue otherwise, Black chick too.[/quote:8db4ac92dd]

and that's only stating the obvious. the question remains: when such an opinion is held, why try to rationalize it?

[NotAsian]

[quote:11e9f092ed="kasia"]and that's only stating the obvious. the question remains: when such an opinion is held, why try to rationalize it?[/quote:11e9f092ed]

I have to agree on this one. Sexual selection is one of the fundamental concepts of the animal kingdom, it's what drives the world and all (and I mean ALL) of human nature. It doesn't need to be, and shouldn't be, "rationalised".

Incidentally, has anyone here ever come across the book "The Mating Mind"? I forgot who wrote it. It explains about 99% of human behaviour as being related to sexual selection.

[teamkitty]

Sometimes i feel that as diverse as this country is people's choice of partner may be limited - it may be due to upbringing or what has been put into the heads of individuals by popular media.

But isn't it only natural that people's choice of mates be blurred across color lines. "Sticking to one's kind" is such a restricting archaic mode of existence.

[tapestrybabe]

[quote:5d07c5e8fe="teamkitty"]Sometimes i feel that as diverse as this country is people's choice of partner may be limited - it may be due to upbringing or what has been put into the heads of individuals by popular media.

But isn't it only natural that people's choice of mates be blurred across color lines. "Sticking to one's kind" is such a restricting archaic mode of existence.[/quote:5d07c5e8fe]

It's not a matter of having to restrict yourself to your own kind... people can have many different preferences for whatever reason-- ... but its a matter of acknowledging and not denying your own kind...

[karizma]

>> :twisted: i made this observation while walking throughout the mall one day. i noticed that the majority of asian girls dating caucasian men were...well...not attractive to say the least. im sure you're all familiar with the term "asiaphile" if not where have YOU been? geez. i dont know about you but it irks the hell out of me when a white guy tell me or a friend how beautiful we are for our "exotic" looks. its like our slanted eyes, button noses, and pouty lips are all they see...as long as you have these attributes theres an asiaphile for you.

>> i dont have anything against dating outside of my race, i just prefer to stay with what im most comfortable with which is asian. not saying ive never dated a white guy and he was better than some of the asian guys ive dated. i guess it all depends on the individual but id be lying if i said i didnt have my sterotypes and stayed away from dating a certain race because of it. my bad.

[Shuriken]

I think that the major problem is that the media don't portray Asian men as romantic figures. And I believe that this is no accident. By and large, the media in the United States are controlled by white men and primarily cater to white men. Perhaps because of the West's imperialistic legacy, men of color in general (with the possible, very recent exception of black men like Denzel Washington) are seen as inherently "other" and therefore difficult to identify with. Therefore, whenever Hollywood portrays an Asian female romantic figure, the object of her affections — and usually the story's lead character — will be a white male.

Hollywood goes to great lengths to perpetuate this. For example, Hollywood's first feature film about the Japanese American internment, [i:c34f4ef6d5]Come See the Paradise[/i:c34f4ef6d5] (1990), insisted on making an interracial WM/AF couple the center of its story — even though, in my opinion, this interracial romance was the least compelling element in the story, and it distracted from the movie's more interesting characters and events. One of Hollywood's more recent attempts to impose a WM/AF romance where one didn't belong was in last year's NBC mini-series [i:c34f4ef6d5]The Lost Empire[/i:c34f4ef6d5]. That show came about because Chinese American playwright David Henry Hwang wanted to make a TV adaptation of the centuries-old Chinese novel [i:c34f4ef6d5]Journey to the West[/i:c34f4ef6d5], but he could only get funding for it if he interpolated a WM/AF romance into this all-Chinese story. Hwang's insertion of this element was awkward, and the results were disastrous.

Another intriguing thing that [i:c34f4ef6d5]Come See the Paradise[/i:c34f4ef6d5] and [i:c34f4ef6d5]The Lost Empire[/i:c34f4ef6d5] have in common: the Asian female love interest kisses the white male lead (or tries to) only moments after they first meet. The message seems to be that an Asian woman will throw herself at the first white man to walk down the street. By contrast, Jet Li plays the "Romeo" figure in [i:c34f4ef6d5]Romeo Must Die[/i:c34f4ef6d5], and he's never allowed to kiss his "Juliet." What kind of a "Romeo" is that? Can you imagine Leonardo di Caprio not being allowed to kiss Claire Danes?

One other point: I think that we can have a level-headed discussion about this issue without putting down the women who do date and marry white men. Comments about Asian women who date outside their race as being "ugly" are more than a little subjective. I remember on another APA Web site, the posters kept putting down Lisa Ling for being "ugly," especially after her dismayingly AM-exclusionary Old Navy commercials. But once she started dating Rick Yune, the insults about her appearance stopped.

[tapestrybabe]

[quote:9428935d15="Shuriken"]I think that the major problem is that the media don't portray Asian men as romantic figures. And I believe that this is no accident. By and large, the media in the United States are controlled by white men and primarily cater to white men.[/quote:9428935d15]

Strange, having steered away from the use of television and not really going out to see movies that much... I feel I'm less influenced by the mainstream media when it comes to the portrayal of Asian men... Cuz personally, I find Asian males to be highly romantic figures to me. But of course, this influence may have to do with the asian pop music and videos I often listen and watch... which isn't a part of mainstream america...


[quote:9428935d15="Shuriken"]One other point: I think that we can have a level-headed discussion about this issue without putting down the women who do date and marry white men. [/quote:9428935d15]

Yeah, your quite right about this. However, I admit... there is this white woman in my work place who does buisness in my dept. Her husband... he's Asian. And worse off.. I learned that he was Korean. And I know that it's usually the other way around.. but seeing them just kinda burned me inside. The white female stealing the asian male... hahaha... Yeah, it's all good tho... Me, I felt just a bit tad *jealous* over that site, that's all....

And it wasn't really jealousy with the guy, but more with the white female I felt today. I thought the asian guy was average looking. However, the white woman... she is highly attractive looking-- you know, blonde hair, thin... And in viewing what I saw today... I felt it really wasn't the white woman attracted necessarily to the Asian male.. but the Asian male attracted to the race of the white female... and you know how it is... the attractiveness level... white females get when it comes to the media and all...

[thaite]

Ahhh, never mind.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:76a3f8afff="Shuriken"]I think that the major problem is that the media don't portray Asian men as romantic figures. And I believe that this is no accident.[/quote:76a3f8afff]

Definitely by no accident. And if it were a case of pure greed on the part of producers to deliver what a popular culture wants to see, I might understand that, but I definitely think that Hollywood picks and chooses its battles, and shapes the final product according to how it wants to shape public opinion.

You'll always hear Hollywood say, "We never meant to offend anyone by this," when in fact the majority of the time, the message is very tightly controlled but veiled.

[quote:76a3f8afff]By contrast, Jet Li plays the "Romeo" figure in [i:76a3f8afff]Romeo Must Die[/i:76a3f8afff], and he's never allowed to kiss his "Juliet." What kind of a "Romeo" is that? Can you imagine Leonardo di Caprio not being allowed to kiss Claire Danes?[/quote:76a3f8afff]

The underlying message: Why would a beautiful woman fall for an Asian man when she would be much more in love with a white man?

[Arex]

[quote="NotAsian"][quote:7210c72a8a]It's always been my opinion that having "pride" in one's race is more or less equivalent to racism (since pride implies that you are happy to be associated with aomething. If I said to you that I'm proud of being white then that would imply that I would prefer to be white than anything else, for which I would require a reason). But this is probably just splitting hairs about the definitions of words, so anyway *cough* About all this Asian pride stuff, sorry but I don't see what value it has in the big scheme of things. If an Asian has pride in themself, who's it going to benefit? If they don't, will they be any less happy? Hmm, perhaps I'm being a little overly-critical here, and perhaps it's because I've been staring at the screen for the last ten minutes trying to remember what my opinion about this was when I clicked the Reply button..... er yes, well anyway: *ahem*[/quote:7210c72a8a]

I know this is off topic but just wanted to add in my two cents here: Nothing wrong with having pride in one's culture/ethnicity whether you're white, black, yellow, red, green, purple or whatever. Who benefits from such pride? The particular culture benefits. And this in turn can benefit each member in a multicultural/ethnic society by providing a richer, more diverse experience for everyone involved. One can hardly argue that this world would be a better place if society were homogenous. Of course this only works so long as people don't take their pride to an extreme and become intolerant of others (that's where you get racism). I suppose it may be difficult to relate to this as a member of the majority. As a minority, if you grow up in an environment where you're bombarded with images and messages that seem to suggest that white is the ideal, I think you can very easily start to think of yourself as inadequate or somehow inferior and so you start to shed your cultural/ethnic identity in favor of the majority's. Look what happened to poor Michael Jackson! This is where pride becomes important and even necessary. This isn't something that members of the majority (read: whites in America) experience because they get plenty of affirmation for "their" culture from the mainstream (they ARE the mainstream, after all). Asians and other minorities aren't spoon fed cultural/ethnic affirmation on a daily basis watching mainstream tv or movies or reading mainstream magazines, etc. Our affirmation's gotta come from within ourselves and it manifests itself as pride. And again, I would argue that the shedding of one's cultural/ethnic identity in favor of the majority's is a BAD thing. The point should not be to eradicate but rather to embrace and celebrate our differences. And you can't do that without some amount of pride in what makes yourself "different." Cultural/ethnic pride = affirmation of one's cultural/ethnic identity = stronger culture = greater global cultural/ethnic diversity = better world = good.

Alex

[thaite]

[quote:b46b996bcb="achtungbaby"][quote:b46b996bcb="Shuriken"]
By contrast, Jet Li plays the "Romeo" figure in [i:b46b996bcb]Romeo Must Die[/i:b46b996bcb], and he's never allowed to kiss his "Juliet." What kind of a "Romeo" is that? Can you imagine Leonardo di Caprio not being allowed to kiss Claire Danes?[/quote:b46b996bcb]

The underlying message: Why would a beautiful woman fall for an Asian man when she would be much more in love with a white man?[/quote:b46b996bcb]

Yeah, but in [i:b46b996bcb]Romeo Must Die[/i:b46b996bcb] the Juliet was black. Maybe the black man's ego just couldn't let the Asian man take his women.

However, in [i:b46b996bcb]The Replacement Killers[/i:b46b996bcb] Chow Yun Fat never did get to bang Mira Sorvino.

And to answer your question, achtungbaby: Because I'm damn good looking, that's why! :twisted:

[IKPakI]

The only good one i saw was in Kiss of the dragon, where the crimeboss had a sex scene with some white prosititue.

[Shuriken]

The flip side of Hollywood's "emasculation" of Asian men is the industry's insidious insertion of virile Asian male characters in movies that are racially problematic. The most glaring instance was Philip Kaufman's film [i:83ca0d4453]Rising Sun[/i:83ca0d4453] (1993), based on Michael Crichton's novel, which was premised on the idea that Japanese businesses are trying to take over the United States, and one tool that they are using to do this is having white women murdered. When Jewish people are said to get ahead in business by having Gentiles murdered, it's called "blood libel" and seen as inherently anti-Semitic. When Asian people are said to get ahead in business by having whites murdered, it's called an evening's entertainment, and complaints about such a portrayal are dismissed as "politically correct."

Kaufman and his collaborators knew that they had a problem on their hands with such racially charged material. How did they handle it? They changed the novel's prime suspect from an unattractive Japanese man to a virile Japanese playboy, cast the role with the charismatic Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, and featured a scene of him in bed with two white women.

This change did nothing to alter the novel's racially hysterical premise: the movie's white female murder victim is still killed specifically to further the Japanese company's business interests. Furthermore, the Tagawa character turns into an update of the dismal "Gunga Din" stereotype and sacrifices his life so that [i:83ca0d4453]Rising Sun[/i:83ca0d4453]'s non-Asian stars, Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes, can live. (Message: Asian life isn't as valuable as non-Asian life.) Still, some in the APA community were so thrilled to see a virile Asian man on the screen that they embraced [i:83ca0d4453]Rising Sun[/i:83ca0d4453] — lock, stock, and barrel. In fact, the Web site GoldSea.com recommends [i:83ca0d4453]Rising Sun[/i:83ca0d4453] as an "Asian-friendly" film. That's a bit like championing D.W. Griffith's pro-Ku Klux Klan movie [i:83ca0d4453]The Birth of a Nation[/i:83ca0d4453] (1915) as a "black-friendly" film.

I challenged GoldSea's editor about including [i:83ca0d4453]Rising Sun[/i:83ca0d4453] on his list of recommended movies, and he responded with some extremely disturbing nonsense about how important it is that Asian people be feared, that fear leads to respect. I responded that fear of Asian people in the U.S. usually leads not to respect, but to hate crimes. He got even weirder from there. I might as well have been trying to tell a tobacco executive that smoking is bad for you.

As important as it is to see the media affirm Asian masculinity in all its permutations — loving fathers as well as bad-boy studs — one shouldn't blindly accept any and every virile Asian male character on the screen. Now that Hollywood is occasionally using the image of Asian "virility" to sugar-coat its anti-Asian propaganda, the APA community will need to become more discerning of the context in which such portrayals appear.

[mrazntre]

Let's not forget "the fast and the furious"

WTF! what a load of bullshit. where do i begin with this movie? I have no clue. fuck fuck fuck. i do love the portrayal by the white producers, which implies the creation of such an 'import culture' was brought upon by white people. fuck the eloquence. that movie was bullshit. that's why i boycotted it. I once wrote a response in Asian Avenue concerning the movie and the underlying racism that it represents, and a quite informed 17 yr old asian male wrote back saying. "i'm tired of seeing asians, it's nice to see people of all races in import racing" The fucking dumbshit failed to see why i posted what i did. it makes me wonder how ignorant these children are when it comes to the adulteration, alteration and adaptation of certain minority sub-cultures which are at first shunned by the white majority, yet over time as the fad begins to increase in popularity, overtake the minority interest and claim it to be theirs. This is what we should be aware of. Screw the overt racism. It's there in the open, easily spotted, easily defended against, HOWEVER, it is the covert racist activities that creates a sense of uncertainty amongst those who have no clear grasp of what is at stake, and what the underlying tones of such subconscious racism may result. i don't even know where the debate is anymore. I just remember that asianz were being made fun of for lowering and souping up their japanese cars. there is no proper credit given. Look at what the white people did to rock n roll. look at what they're trying to do to rap music. their crossover infusion of alternative beats to RAP. damn lil whities all over the nation will soon begin to think that linkin park invented rap. this is a vicious racist cycle. when will it stop? never. u know why? because asians are too passive. sound familiar? as for asian males being effeminate. ask those countless whiteboys that i punked in high school how effeminate i was, bitch ass wedos.

on a lighter note:
i agree with ChinaLama, all the ugly asian girls can go ahead and date the white guys. i remember back in school, I met a few asian girls who had this look, something like "i only date white guys" look. has anyone else ever seen that look or is it just me? I actually knew that these particular asian women only dated non-asians, so it wasn't just the look that cued me in. I hope that made sense.

haha..which reminds me. i met up with an old friend a while ago and I asked her if she knew any azn girls. (most of my frenz back in the day were hispanic, as was this particular friend) she replied, "yah i do, she's chinese, but she only dates brothas." HAHA. that shit made me laugh my ass off. okay, mebbe it's not that funny, but to me it is.

[IKPakI]

I also hated the movie Fast and the furious, except the race scenes...the asian guys were consider the enemies, even though we asians brought the import scene to america. They weren't even vietnamese, they were koreans with vietnamese names....

The part about the police raid into the asian home was embarassing and sad. The way the officers pointed the gun at the little girl crying....thats shame.

And then the one where tran gets beat up by the hispanic guy....wtf.? and also not to mention, putting the asians on motorbikes...wtf

[achtungbaby]

[quote:df2e5971bf="Shuriken"]In fact, the Web site GoldSea.com recommends [i:df2e5971bf]Rising Sun[/i:df2e5971bf] as an "Asian-friendly" film.[/quote:df2e5971bf]

Are you serious?!? [i:df2e5971bf]Rising Sun[/i:df2e5971bf] was a complete joke. I like Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes, but the film is so insidious in how it subtley bashes, I can't believe it's something they'd *recommend*...at worse, they might not feel negative about it...

[quote:df2e5971bf="Shuriken"]I challenged GoldSea's editor about including [i:df2e5971bf]Rising Sun[/i:df2e5971bf] on his list of recommended movies, and he responded with some extremely disturbing nonsense about how important it is that Asian people be feared, that fear leads to respect. I responded that fear of Asian people in the U.S. usually leads not to respect, but to hate crimes. He got even weirder from there. I might as well have been trying to tell a tobacco executive that smoking is bad for you.[/quote:df2e5971bf]

I think fear is just one of the things that can lead to respect, and Asians (particularly Asian males) are so disrespected here that a desire "kick ass and take names" is understandable. But I don't think "fearing" or respecting Asians was the message of "Rising Sun" at all -- it was some high-minded justification for what got Vincent Chin killed.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:f3202ad161="mrazntre"]Look at what the white people did to rock n roll. look at what they're trying to do to rap music.[/quote:f3202ad161]

Bwahahah...! That is so damn true. I'd always thought there'd be some frontiers that white people would never cross into, but they sure are persistent:)

[quote:f3202ad161="mrazntre"]I actually knew that these particular asian women only dated non-asians, so it wasn't just the look that cued me in. I hope that made sense.[/quote:f3202ad161]

It seems like on average that the majority of Asian females who end up with white guys are less attractive -- to which, most Asian guys will shrug off, cuz they don't want no part of that anyway. But there's got to be a balance. We can't just complain about white guys while kicking Asian females to the curb because they're not super models.

[bunnycutie]

Here is another curveball...there are so many AsianAm young women who are being pushed by their parents to marry within their own ethnic community. In other words, even inter-Asian marriages are discouraged in so many Asian families. But, in my opinion, asian women, like any other racially oriented woman should be able to date any person from any race she chooses. As long as the relationship is healthy for both of the partners, no one should criticize either one of them. I understand that communication is often a problem when it comes to the parents but, when they made the choice and took the opportunity to come to America, they took on the responsibility to acknowledge and accept that this is a highly interracial society. The possibility of interracial love increases when childern grow up in such a country.

Anyway, check out my webpage if you guys are interested!
http://www.angelfire.com/realm/bunnycutie

~bunny

[achtungbaby]

[quote:34c8476e1c="bunnycutie"]Here is another curveball...there are so many AsianAm young women who are being pushed by their parents to marry within their own ethnic community. In other words, even inter-Asian marriages are discouraged in so many Asian families.[/quote:34c8476e1c]

So you're saying that Asian women are responding to pressure from their parents, like, they're sort of rebelling...?

[bunnycutie]

Oh no, that's not what I'm saying at all, although now that you brought it up, that might be a possibility in a few cases. But for the most part, I feel that many asian women who fall in love don't love the person because he/she is non-asian, or asian, if that's the case. It's not usually the urge to rebel that makes people fall in love. Parents need to understand this.

~bunny[img:c221a4ce6b]http://www.angelfire.com/realm/bunnycutie/images/cutestarz.gif[/img:c221a4ce6b]

[achtungbaby]

Oh yeah, I agree. Sometimes it's best to just not pressure a woman -- otherwise she might do the exact opposite:)

It's not for lack of lack of love, I'm sure, I just wonder how much of that love is influenced by other things.

[bunnycutie]

if only more young adults today can realize that, we'd all be much better off

~bunny

[IKPakI]

I've been set up alot by my parents to go out with korean girls. Out of 6 of them , i've been liking this one girl. Maybe i should go out with her. But, i guess when asian parents see their son/daughters being with other race, it brings back painful memories like Comfort women w/ GI soldiers , or the parents would have to learn english to communicate or their child will have a hard time deciding which culture to fit in...many possibilities.

[Shuriken]

[quote:8400246f2d="achtungbaby"]Are you serious?!? [i:8400246f2d]Rising Sun[/i:8400246f2d] was a complete joke. I like Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes, but the film is so insidious in how it subtley bashes, I can't believe it's something they'd *recommend*...at worse, they might not feel negative about it...[/quote:8400246f2d]


http://goldsea.com/Mediawatch/movieguide.html

[achtungbaby]

"Memorable scene: Tagawa eats sushi off a naked blond."

Yep, oh boy, that's definitely what I remembered from that movie.

[princess]

a late reply but i couldnt help reponding. im not abandoning asian guys at all. i only find asian guys attractive. no, im not racist or anything, its juss that i tend to lean in more towards them. we all have our preferences.

[achtungbaby]

An easy one to start this forum off.

So should Asian females feel compelled to "keep it real" with their Asian brothers?

Discuss.



<!--EDIT|achtungbaby|Aug 6 2002, 10:35 PM-->

[SunWuKong]

ah once again the inevitable topic of discussion

[AliBabaIncorporated]

I don't got much problem with it (i'm half german) unless the girl in question has some illusion that when she and the white guy get married, their kid will be "best of both worlds," "a bridge between the cultures," or any of the rest of that transcendentalist shit. or if she acts like Asian people have some obligation to accept her kid as Asian even when he acts all out of place, doesn't know the manners, doesn't know the language, etc.



<!--EDIT|AliBabaIncorporated|Aug 7 2002, 10:19 AM-->

[artsfartsyjanet]

I've dated Asian and Caucasians, and I've had a bad experience with both "worlds." =) Atchungbaby, we've talked about my "lovely" narcissistic ex's. I think race or culture matters, but it's not as important as how the couple interacts. I think interracial dating is fine.

[deez nuts]

I don't think asian women are abandoning us. We live in a ethnically diverse country, you're in contact with so many different people of different backgrounds. It also depends on your dating pool available to you.


What I do have a problem with is asian women who put down and stereotype asian men in a negative way and will not even date an asian guy.

[Danny]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Aug 8 2002, 04:08 PM
What I do have a problem with is asian women who put down and stereotype asian men in a negative way and will not even date an asian guy.
agreed, but that also goes for a lot of people in that regards... I have dated a woman from the dominant races, African American, Asian, Latin, each has the psycho and the cool person... race has no factor on this... it is the person that must decide what is right for them....

[angel nympho]

In the same regards... why am I not allowed to insist that Asian men "keep it real" with Asian women? I don't throw a hissy fit every time one of my Asian guy friends say "Damn, I wish I had a white girl."

I hardly think anybody's shutting out anybody. Just that some people are more open to other options than others, I guess. Personally... I want to experience life. Not turn down a date just because he's white.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Aug 10 2002, 09:58 PM
In the same regards... why am I not allowed to insist that Asian men "keep it real" with Asian women? I don't throw a hissy fit every time one of my Asian guy friends say "Damn, I wish I had a white girl."

I hardly think anybody's shutting out anybody. Just that some people are more open to other options than others, I guess. Personally... I want to experience life. Not turn down a date just because he's white.
that is fine. but i hope you also won't turn down a date just because the guy's asian. it's not interracial dating that's the issue. the issue is that many asian women refuse to date asian guys for the reason that those guys are asian.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

I think the problem starts with the idea that you should only date within your race because they will inherently understand you better. Reality check: this is total BS.

Dunno about that one. Maybe I just have a strange perspective cuz I come from a multiracial, multicultural, multireligious country called Malaysia where we don't have this same belief in fluidity of identity I see around me in the US.

What you state is true for you, but it's not likely to be true for everyone. Being asian for me is more than just the minority experience of being a non-white looking American. Someone who doesn't have a similar daily, personal experience with biculturalism to what I have just isn't gonna understand why most of my life is the way it is. Lots of Asian girls have this experience. Diminishingly few white girls do.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 11 2002, 03:31 AM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Aug 10 2002, 09:58 PM
In the same regards... why am I not allowed to insist that Asian men "keep it real" with Asian women? &nbsp;I don't throw a hissy fit every time one of my Asian guy friends say "Damn, I wish I had a white girl."

I hardly think anybody's shutting out anybody. &nbsp;Just that some people are more open to other options than others, I guess. &nbsp;Personally... I want to experience life. &nbsp;Not turn down a date just because he's white.
that is fine. but i hope you also won't turn down a date just because the guy's asian. it's not interracial dating that's the issue. the issue is that many asian women refuse to date asian guys for the reason that those guys are asian.
Wow, I wouldn't do that either. I've never heard an Asian girl say she won't date an Asian guy. I've definately heard them say they wouldn't date a white guy, though.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Aug 11 2002, 04:51 AM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 11 2002, 03:31 AM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Aug 10 2002, 09:58 PM
In the same regards... why am I not allowed to insist that Asian men "keep it real" with Asian women? I don't throw a hissy fit every time one of my Asian guy friends say "Damn, I wish I had a white girl."

I hardly think anybody's shutting out anybody. Just that some people are more open to other options than others, I guess. Personally... I want to experience life. Not turn down a date just because he's white.
that is fine. but i hope you also won't turn down a date just because the guy's asian. it's not interracial dating that's the issue. the issue is that many asian women refuse to date asian guys for the reason that those guys are asian.
Wow, I wouldn't do that either. I've never heard an Asian girl say she won't date an Asian guy. I've definately heard them say they wouldn't date a white guy, though.
yeah i know more asian girls who refuse to date white guys than asian girls who refuse to date asian guys. but yes they do exist. ultimately it's their personal choice. you can't control who you're attracted to. i tend to look at the issue in a bigger context in terms of how american society has affected us.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by NotAsian@May 15 2002, 07:25 AM

Yes, I am a strong believer that, just as one can have a preference for a particular sex, one can have a preference for a particular race in exactly the same way.

one can be affected so as to have any sort of "sexual preference", extending as far as preferring a particular race rather than a particular sex (and once again I mention that I ought to know



About all this Asian pride stuff, sorry but I don't see what value it has in the big scheme of things. If an Asian has pride in themself, who's it going to benefit? If they don't, will they be any less happy?
Tell me you're not going to go Rice King on us. Just tell me that, please, cuz my asiaphile radar is really ringing off the hook here.

Asians will benefit from Asian pride. Look around you, look at the galleries. Beautiful guys and girls happy to be themselves, dishing about issues that affect our lives without having to censor ourselves for caucasian-centered media. You are in Yellow World, right?

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Aug 12 2002, 09:57 PM
Tell me you're not going to go Rice King on us. Just tell me that, please, cuz my asiaphile radar is really ringing off the hook here.
HAHHAHHAH

:D


hahha it's ok you can relax because i haven't seen that guy around for a long time. actually i don't even remember seeing him posting anymore by the time i joined this site.

but yeah i'm kind of sick of non-Asians saying that kind of shit about having pride in ourselves.

[angel nympho]

why is this topic even up for debate?? preferences dont MAKE who you are.... does my dating a white guy have anything to do with how much pride i have in myself??? no, i highly doubt that. just because i choose to date somebody that i find attractive doesn't mean im not "keeping it real" or something. sorry that the guy i am attracted to turned out to be white. shiiiiit, maybe i should just stay away from him cuz dating him will somehow make me less asian. or better yet... dating him makes me an "ugly asian girl."

*rolls eyes*



<!--EDIT|angel nympho|Aug 13 2002, 10:22 PM-->

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Jun 12 2002, 11:15 PM
[quote:34c8476e1c="bunnycutie"]Here is another curveball...there are so many AsianAm young women who are being pushed by their parents to marry within their own ethnic community. &nbsp;In other words, even inter-Asian marriages are discouraged in so many Asian families.[/quote:34c8476e1c]

So you're saying that Asian women are responding to pressure from their parents, like, they're sort of rebelling...?
My parents are pretty strict about who I should and shouldn't date. Although my parents strongly suggest and sometimes pressure me to date someone Chinese, I don't think I'm rebelling them if I decided to date a Caucasian person. I've dated men who are Asian and Caucasian. When I was with the Caucasian guy, it raised a lot of controversy with my parents, but if the guy was a jerk, I wouldn't feel obliged to stay with him just b/c my family would think they're RIGHT about my bf being a cheater. if they thought they were right at the time, it would have based their beliefs on hindsight, which isn't fair. If they were wrong and he turns out to be this great person, then maybe they'll change their views about him as a person.



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Aug 14 2002, 03:49 AM-->

[Xishi]

"Are Asian women abandoning Asian men.."

I am so enraged by hearing Asian men whine about Asian woman "abandoning" them...

Go to that Ivy...get that prestigious job...be remotely attractive..have a good personality and I guarentee that you will get even more women than you can complain!
(Not gold diggers types either..but successful women who value success in men...)

Any Asian woman that does not want an educated...sucessful man with good personality just because he is Asian is just a raging skank and deserves not of your time anyways...

Asian guys who complains regardless is either 1.a lazy bum...2.a masochist who likes skanks...3.both....4.a skank himself...
:gross:

[himura-dono]

....fuck... xishi...you're new, trust me, someone woulda created a brand new thread dedicated to this without you having had to go through the trouble of diggin through the archives, lol.

btw, how are you pronouncing your yw name? i keep hearing cixi (as in the evil empress dowager)... that makes me want to break things, lol.

[ChairmanMah]

fuk'n fast and furious pissed me right off.

Import racing w/ a white male character and the asian is the villain? How does that work?

Asians developed the cars for fuksake.

It's like how the whites used to think that they could beat us at our own game of martial arts.

I'm sick of the capitalist rape and commercialization.

[Azn Retribution]

heh got that right but shit I can hardly find one good kung-fu school around here in dallas that has a asian teacher. all of them are white or mexican.

just my policy...

i wouldnt trust asians to make real good authentic italian food.. for example.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Azn Retribution@Mar 22 2003, 11:50 AM
heh got that right but shit I can hardly find one good kung-fu school around here in dallas that has a asian teacher. all of them are white or mexican.

just my policy...

i wouldnt trust asians to make real good authentic italian food.. for example.
"asian" teacher? you do realise that kungfu is a chinese martial arts right? does that mean you think a korean kungfu teacher would naturally be better than a white kungfu teacher? that doesn't make sense. you realise that the very very conservative of kungfu teachers would probably not teach to anybody who's not chinese, right? i don't think them being non-asian precludes them from knowing what they're doing. how do you feel about chinese kungfu teachers teaching non-chinese? do non-asian kungfu students somehow become less able kungfu practitioners by virtue of them not being asian?

[kimpossible]

I would learn from Brad Allan (http://www.jackiechan.com/bradallan/). Shit, my husband would too.

[himura-dono]

Originally posted by Azn Retribution@Mar 22 2003, 08:50 AM
heh got that right but shit I can hardly find one good kung-fu school around here in dallas that has a asian teacher.
i woulda said something, but swk said it all ^_^


swk, you get a cookie. :D

[AngryABCGirl]

Sometimes, I ask myself... why is this such a big issue?

I think girls that really only want to date white guys, just because of their skin color and what it represents, just have a problem with their own culture and in the end themselves. Why would an Asian guy... or any guy for that matter want a girl like that?

Most Asian girls won't want to day guys with an Asian fetish... I would think most white guys won't want to date girls with a white fetish either, it'd be just an unequal relationship.

The majority of Asian-American women would prefer an Asian-American man, at least that's what I'm seeing. I think most of it isn't because of skin or look, it's because of commonality and similiarity. For example, if I were seriously considering dating someone for a long-term relationship, I'd look for a Taiwanese/Chinese-American guy, just because we'd have a lot in common and kind of have the same beat you know?

Be maybe an Asian-American girl who grew in a white neighborhood might find herself more comfortable with a white guy just because they have lived a simliar upbringing. I wouldn't be comfortable in a community little mid-west town just because of my Monterey Park environment upbringing, another girl who grew up in a little mid-west town couldn't feel comfortable in Monterey Park, even if she has my skin color and my race.

She's not selling out or anything, in fact if she denied herself that love, she'd be selling out herself trying to find an Asian guy she might not be able to have a sucessful relationship with because of different backgrounds.

In the end, it's all about chemistry.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

Originally posted by AzNBuffGrL@Mar 22 2003, 05:50 PM
Sometimes, I ask myself... why is this such a big issue?

I think girls that really only want to date white guys, just because of their skin color and what it represents, just have a problem with their own culture and in the end themselves. Why would an Asian guy... or any guy for that matter want a girl like that?
cuz for every 1000 married Asian women there are only 860 married Asian men. large numbers of single men cause social problems.

[golden_buns]

Most Asian girls won't want to day guys with an Asian fetish... I would think most white guys won't want to date girls with a white fetish either, it'd be just an unequal relationship.


Wrong, guys just want to get laid, we don't care if you have an asian fetish, white fetish, black fetish, or animal fetish.

The majority of Asian-American women would prefer an Asian-American man, at least that's what I'm seeing. I think most of it isn't because of skin or look, it's because of commonality and similiarity. For example, if I were seriously considering dating someone for a long-term relationship, I'd look for a Taiwanese/Chinese-American guy, just because we'd have a lot in common and kind of have the same beat you know?

Yeah, that's what I've noticed so far. In the places that I've been, the majority of couples are asian/asian, there's some that are asian/non-asian, but that's not the majority. I never knew that this asian girls dating non-asians guys (esp white guys) was an issue until I started going thru asian american websites 2 months ago, and I think we should be so judgemental when seeing an AF/WM couple, because what kinda woman with self respect will go for a guy who only wants her for a fetish? or what kinda of guy will commit himself into a relationship just to get laid? I'm sure there's got to be more than self-hate (from the woman's side) and fetish (from the man's side) cuz relationships aren't easy, and they're sure a big pain in the ass if there's no mutual affection and respect in between.

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by AliBabaIncorporated@Mar 22 2003, 03:05 PM
cuz for every 1000 married Asian women there are only 860 married Asian men. large numbers of single men cause social problems.
there's always mail-order brides. It's cheap and fast

[kimpossible]

I'm going to accomplish two things at once; reverse the genders for a bit and also get a rant out.

This is from one Asian guy

I can only speak for myself. I progressed to non-AA women. Why would I want to reward a demographic of self-hating AFs who would and have sold out AMs for as long as Asians have been here in the US? I implore the AMs of the world to find their best match in non-AF, and to cast away the dead weight of AF obsolescence. I also implore AMs to be the men the AF don't expect you to be -- leave them and find the women that deserve you.

And some non-Asian chick with a Chinese boyfriend

This is my opinion of why more Asian males are going IR...It's simple, They're going with us becuz We show true desire of adjust to their environment and learn about their culture...and always working hard to impress and make happy and satisfied their parents....I learned all this for what I see, I I've seen some AF taking everything for granted with their guys, something like (nahh, I'm Asian like him, so what does he care if I work or if I do this or not?? His parents won't say s**t , they know I'm the sure thing for their son, and they must appreciate me or else I'll kick his butt) See? I know some stories of few AF that would make your skin look like chicken....I hate girls that take the guys for granted!!! Nobody is for granted, if you get lazy lady and stop caring about him, cooking his favorite dishes or going out and having a good time, if you just ask him for money or something that has to do money and money and money, Girl, you'll get your butt kicked pretty soon....actually you're gone already at the time you're reading this post, you just don't know it yet.....so

Can I just say why does it ALWAYS seem like shit is thrown onto Asian females? And it's not just this one chick. What I quoted here is a similar sentiment I've seen in other places on the net or behavior I've observed with some non-Asian females married to Asian males in real life.

Let's talk about sellout Asian males and female Asiaphiles for once.

[Azn Retribution]

um... my cousins?
lol Its funny though... I hear alot of that flipside from asian girls..
"Why would he go with a white girl... they are just hoes and too easy"
"Mexican girls are dirty"
haha and so on.

[deez nuts]

the guy seems kinda bitter. thanks for the tip guy. but me and me only dictates my dating life. dead weight? obsolescense? kinda harsh. my philosophy: i don't get involved in other people's dating life . don't get involved in mine or tell me what to do. if you do, i won't think twice in telling you to fuck off. only people that can do it are my family and my closest friends.

the chick seems lost. how can you throw the whole burden of taking men for granted and an unwillingness to "adapt" just on asian females. you mean to tell me....white women don't do the same, or black women or latin women?!?!?!? asian women take asian men for granted since they're both asian? sure it happens, but come on, take it on a case by case basis: a person to person level not on a color to color level.

and we all know that all women take their man for granted! j/k....j/k...

/ducks/

[kimpossible]

I'm kind of thinking I'm a female Asiaphile with a sellout Asian male. :lol:

I just don't hate Asian women and worse blame them for anything. That pisses me off. Be a grown up and manage your own damn relationship. How can she say that Asian women don't respect Asian men as a rule then in the same breath say she respects an Asian guy's parents? Is the guy's mother not an Asian woman with an Asian man?

It's discouraging to see women of other ethnicities buy into stereotypes of Asian females.

[angel nympho]

I am so tired of this debate. LOL, how bout I just give it to you guys who think Asian girls are to blame? Okay HERE it is: YEs, we are abandoning you. Get over it.

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Mar 22 2003, 05:41 PM
YEs, we are abandoning you. Get over it.
Don't leave me, I'LL CHANGE :cry:

[YuheiCarreau]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Mar 22 2003, 05:52 PM
Can I just say why does it ALWAYS seem like shit is thrown onto Asian females? And it's not just this one chick. What I quoted here is a similar sentiment I've seen in other places on the net or behavior I've observed with some non-Asian females married to Asian males in real life.
I think it's because most of the people involved in the discussion has a grudge against White men; Asian men because they feel insecure over Asian women who date White men (instead of them), and White women because they feel insecure over White guys fetishizing Asian women (instead of them!). Instead of taking their grudge out against the White guys, however, they take it out on the Asian women who are (supposedly) abetting the situation - in other words, "without her, I wouldn't feel like this!". IMO the discussion taps into how men related to women and each other and how women relate to men and each other more than how Asians and Whites relate.

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by YuheiCarreau@Mar 22 2003, 05:48 PM
Asian men because they feel insecure over Asian women who date White men (instead of them), and White women because they feel insecure over White guys fetishizing Asian women (instead of them!). Instead of taking their grudge out against the White guys, however, they take it out on the Asian women who are (supposedly) abetting the situation - in other words, "without her, I wouldn't feel like this!".
I think this is kinda over-exagerated. I think people have more things to worry about in life than that. It's funny cuz the talk about AFs leaving AMs never came up with my asian friends when I was in the States, nor did I hear white girls bashing AFs in general and feeling insecure about it, if there was bashing it wasn't because of race.


HH,

About sellout asian guys, you might wanna come to latin america and take a look, because over here the gender divide goes the opposite way from the one in the US

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Mar 22 2003, 05:41 PM
I am so tired of this debate. LOL, how bout I just give it to you guys who think Asian girls are to blame? Okay HERE it is: YEs, we are abandoning you. Get over it.
Oh no, we're beating another horse to death. We're making the guys sellout whores. *wink* Shoe is on the other foot now.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

No Asian guy who's in a happy relationship or enjoys a healthy dating and/or sex life ever complains about this. But that's just going by what I have seen *shrug*

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 22 2003, 05:57 PM
HH,

About sellout asian guys, you might wanna come to latin america and take a look, because over here the gender divide goes the opposite way from the one in the US
oh really? tell me more about this. specific countries? ooh, comparative dating and social phenonema. cool.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 23 2003, 01:47 AM
Don't leave me, I'LL CHANGE :cry:
that's right, bitch. ON YOUR KNEES WHERE YOU BELONG!

[deez nuts]

the whiny asian dudes should stop ruining it for the rest of us. come on dating? sheesh, you win some and you lose some. don't go running to momma, crying and whining, when a girl shoots you down. it's all part of being a guy.

quit cock blocking me you whiny ass mofo's!

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Mar 22 2003, 06:52 PM
This is my opinion of why more Asian males are going IR...It's simple, They're going with us becuz We show true desire of adjust to their environment and learn about their culture...and always working hard to impress and make happy and satisfied their parents....I learned all this for what I see, I I've seen some AF taking everything for granted with their guys, something like (nahh, I'm Asian like him, so what does he care if I work or if I do this or not?? His parents won't say s**t , they know I'm the sure thing for their son, and they must appreciate me or else I'll kick his butt) See? I know some stories of few AF that would make your skin look like chicken....I hate girls that take the guys for granted!!! Nobody is for granted, if you get lazy lady and stop caring about him, cooking his favorite dishes or going out and having a good time, if you just ask him for money or something that has to do money and money and money, Girl, you'll get your butt kicked pretty soon....actually you're gone already at the time you're reading this post, you just don't know it yet.....so

Can I just say why does it ALWAYS seem like shit is thrown onto Asian females? And it's not just this one chick. What I quoted here is a similar sentiment I've seen in other places on the net or behavior I've observed with some non-Asian females married to Asian males in real life.

Let's talk about sellout Asian males and female Asiaphiles for once.
what the hell is wrong with that chick's grammar?

[YuheiCarreau]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 22 2003, 07:57 PM
I think this is kinda over-exagerated. I think people have more things to worry about in life than that. It's funny cuz the talk about AFs leaving AMs never came up with my asian friends when I was in the States, nor did I hear white girls bashing AFs in general and feeling insecure about it, if there was bashing it wasn't because of race.
I didn't mean that all AM and WF do this, just those who participate in the "Why Are Asian Women Sluts for White Men?" discussions.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 22 2003, 06:23 PM

quit cock blocking me you whiny ass mofo's!
If I was a guy this would immediately be converted to my new sig.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Mar 22 2003, 07:42 PM
I just don't hate Asian women and worse blame them for anything. That pisses me off. Be a grown up and manage your own damn relationship. How can she say that Asian women don't respect Asian men as a rule then in the same breath say she respects an Asian guy's parents? Is the guy's mother not an Asian woman with an Asian man?

It's discouraging to see women of other ethnicities buy into stereotypes of Asian females.
blech. she's just the gender-opposite of non-asian guys that justify their interracial relationships with how badly asian males treat women, citing chauvinism, dominating personality, blah blah blah.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 22 2003, 09:23 PM
the whiny asian dudes should stop ruining it for the rest of us. come on dating? sheesh, you win some and you lose some. don't go running to momma, crying and whining, when a girl shoots you down. it's all part of being a guy.

quit cock blocking me you whiny ass mofo's!
man that's what i've been saying all along. WABs (whiny asian boys) make the rest of us look bad.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by FrozenPizza@Mar 22 2003, 09:03 PM
No Asian guy who's in a happy relationship or enjoys a healthy dating and/or sex life ever complains about this. But that's just going by what I have seen *shrug*
what i don't like is there are bound to be some asian women with asian girl friends that don't date asian guys, and they're always trying to get these asian girl friends to try dating asian guys. i mean what the hell is that? pity? just let them date whoever they want to date.

[Xishi]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Mar 22 2003, 04:47 AM
....fuck... xishi...you're new, trust me, someone woulda created a brand new thread dedicated to this without you having had to go through the trouble of diggin through the archives, lol.

btw, how are you pronouncing your yw name? i keep hearing cixi (as in the evil empress dowager)... that makes me want to break things, lol.
himura: :D

"Xi...shi"
Yeah it does sound like"Cixi"...

Incidently...I used to post as "Cixi" on another Asian American forum...lol...
About Cixi...
She was selfish...ruthless..and unusual...
But she certainly was no worse than hero Mao Zhedong in terms of the damage that she did to China...
This is no admirer of Cixi...but she was intelligent...strong...and successful to her own...granted...selfish purposes...
No justifications for her...but her strength as a woman was impressive...

[Xishi]

I have a major problem with whiny Asian guys because I happen to have a preference for Asian guys...and their own insecurities about themselves are really as directly degrading to me as it is degrading to them...

The most ironic thing is that Asian guys really actually have an advantage over their White counterparts in that they are generally more intelligent...better educated...more knowledgeabe...ect..
Trust me...intelligence...knowledge...creditials..presti ge and success...are a combination that no woman will turn down without deep sorrow...(Unless he is a total ass..)
The average Asian guy is much better equiped with the potentials for these assets than that Caucasian Joe...

Asian guys just need to be a little more initiative about approaching women...

Initiating in community complaining sessions while drooling over the objects of their affection does not count...

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 22 2003, 07:09 PM
what i don't like is there are bound to be some asian women with asian girl friends that don't date asian guys, and they're always trying to get these asian girl friends to try dating asian guys. &nbsp;i mean what the hell is that? &nbsp;pity? &nbsp;just let them date whoever they want to date.
No shit. There's no shortage of Asians in Asia. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt.

*lol* snagged one too.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 22 2003, 10:05 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 22 2003, 09:23 PM
the whiny asian dudes should stop ruining it for the rest of us. come on dating? sheesh, you win some and you lose some. don't go running to momma, crying and whining, when a girl shoots you down. it's all part of being a guy.

quit cock blocking me you whiny ass mofo's!
man that's what i've been saying all along. WABs (whiny asian boys) make the rest of us look bad.
my dad always told me when i was younger to be thick skinned when you make the initial approach in meeting women. i think a good majority of these whiny ass asian man fools just can't take a rejection too well aka too moist.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 22 2003, 10:35 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 22 2003, 10:05 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 22 2003, 09:23 PM
the whiny asian dudes should stop ruining it for the rest of us. come on dating? sheesh, you win some and you lose some. don't go running to momma, crying and whining, when a girl shoots you down. it's all part of being a guy.

quit cock blocking me you whiny ass mofo's!
man that's what i've been saying all along. WABs (whiny asian boys) make the rest of us look bad.
my dad always told me when i was younger to be thick skinned when you make the initial approach in meeting women. i think a good majority of these whiny ass asian man fools just can't take a rejection too well aka too moist.
yeah then maybe one of them will get with a white chick and be like "look at me i got me a white chick".
it's like, ok buddy. congratulations. now leave me alone.

[kimpossible]

Cindy Lou!!!!!!!!!

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Mar 22 2003, 10:43 PM
Cindy Lou!!!!!!!!!
who's that?

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 22 2003, 10:52 PM
who's that?
you don't want to know. :ph34r:

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 22 2003, 07:56 PM
you don't want to know. :ph34r:
She's a lotta lovin'. Even more than the Powah of the Pork Bun can handle.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Mar 22 2003, 06:20 PM
that's right, bitch. ON YOUR KNEES WHERE YOU BELONG!
*shivverrrrrrrrrr* Suddenly I feel the hot blood surging through every single vein in my body. Dunno why, dunno why at all... :blush:

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Mar 22 2003, 06:09 PM
oh really? tell me more about this. specific countries? ooh, comparative dating and social phenonema. cool.
In countries like Argentina, Colombia, and Costa Rica.
For one thing latin americans are more open minded about dating other races, except for Argentina.
Another factor could be the fact that latin americans are more discrimminant on social status than on race. And there's this general idea that asians are rich, which in turn attract many goldiggers.

Also it could be because part of the beauty standards on women are; having medium to big breasts, thin waist, and big hips, sorta like a guitar shaped body typical on latin women. which is a physique that's not very common among asian women. The objectification of women bodies is seen pretty much anywhere, from the hosts of TV program for kids wearing tight mini skirts, to calendars, posters, and magazines sold in the streets of women almost naked. So men are pretty much brainwashed to expect this on a woman. On the other hand, there doesn't seem to be much expectations on men on things like; height, weight, and physique.

[kitty]

Yeah, it's not like AM wouldn't mind being with a white girl if they got one... it's fucked up the way Hollywood portrays AM's and they do get a shit end of the stick (but not the ONLY shit end)... but at the same time, I don't think AF's belong to AM's -- or to anybody... so why're AM's bitching about not being able to get a date? The only way to fight a stereotype is to walk up to it and bitch-slap it in the face, not sit around and whine until your Asian sisters come back to you.

And don't get me started on AF's who consider AF's who date outside the race to be sell-outs.

[Tao]

Frankly I really don't care one way or another as long as ppl date for healthy reasons, you know, besides just their race. Hell I really don't care if ppl do date just cause they look exotic, personally my only requirement for those kinds of people is that they are upfront about it, and not hide that shit under the guise of "wanting to better know a culture." As long as people admit what they are doing, then it's cool with me.

This debate also reminds me of one of my mom's friends, who was dating this old white guy. And one day she asked me why I don't prefer dating white girls to asians. So I asked "why should I?" and she responded "because your children will look so beautiful" :rolleyes: needless to say, I'm sure there are a LOT more people who think along those terms than we realize.

[AngryABCGirl]

Originally posted by Tao@Mar 23 2003, 12:19 PM
This debate also reminds me of one of my mom's friends, who was dating this old white guy. And one day she asked me why I don't prefer dating white girls to asians. So I asked "why should I?" and she responded "because your children will look so beautiful" :rolleyes: needless to say, I'm sure there are a LOT more people who think along those terms than we realize.
They may be beautiful or you may end up with shit-colored babies. :lol: Just joking Just Joking

[Tao]

hmmm...... yeah actually from my experience the mixed kids I know are either freaky looking, or jitz-in-your-pants hot.

btw i forgot to mention this in my intro, but i might be the only chinese kid on this board who has natrually curly hair. go fig

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Tao@Mar 23 2003, 03:30 PM
btw i forgot to mention this in my intro, but i might be the only chinese kid on this board who has natrually curly hair. go fig
hah! i used to know a kid like you in primary school. :)

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 23 2003, 09:47 AM
In countries like Argentina, Colombia, and Costa Rica.
For one thing latin americans are more open minded about dating other races, except for Argentina.
Another factor could be the fact that latin americans are more discrimminant on social status than on race. And there's this general idea that asians are rich, which in turn attract many goldiggers.

Also it could be because part of the beauty standards on women are; having medium to big breasts, thin waist, and big hips, sorta like a guitar shaped body typical on latin women. which is a physique that's not very common among asian women. The objectification of women bodies is seen pretty much anywhere, from the hosts of TV program for kids wearing tight mini skirts, to calendars, posters, and magazines sold in the streets of women almost naked. So men are pretty much brainwashed to expect this on a woman. On the other hand, there doesn't seem to be much expectations on men on things like; height, weight, and physique.
i think the sexual objectification of asian women in america has a lot to do with hollywood and also with GIs returning from vietnam and korea with stories of prostitutes.

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by Tao@Mar 23 2003, 03:30 PM
btw i forgot to mention this in my intro, but i might be the only chinese kid on this board who has natrually curly hair. go fig
i have naturally wavy/curly hair...
one time i planned on getting a perm in high school...
i got my hair cut layered... and it turned out to be so curly and wavy...
the person who was cutting my hair said i didnt need to get a perm...

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 23 2003, 08:39 PM
Originally posted by Tao@Mar 23 2003, 03:30 PM
btw i forgot to mention this in my intro, but i might be the only chinese kid on this board who has natrually curly hair. go fig


hah! i used to know a kid like you in primary school. :)
actually the kid i knew back in primary school had hair curly enough that she had an afro. not like black people, but her curls were about the size of a quarter. is that how your hair is?

[Tao]

if I let my hair grow, I have an afro, that's how curly it is. one time in high school track i was drinking some water from the public fountains and my neck was all tanned from the scorching sun. My friend who was on line behind me, thought I was a black kid for a moment.

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by Tao@Mar 23 2003, 08:54 PM
if I let my hair grow, I have an afro, that's how curly it is. one time in high school track i was drinking some water from the public fountains and my neck was all tanned from the scorching sun. My friend who was on line behind me, thought I was a black kid for a moment.
OMG...
yeah... you beat me to it...
i think mine is just wavy... not like afro curly...

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 23 2003, 05:40 PM
i think the sexual objectification of asian women in america has a lot to do with hollywood and also with GIs returning from vietnam and korea with stories of prostitutes.
Well, I think it's gonna change soon, since we've been getting FOX, wb, and a hole bunch of US channels thru cable both in Colombia, and Costa Rica. Little by little, the image of the orient as being sexually exotic is starting to be more common.

[Tao]

yeah actually my great grand father had the same hair as me....or so he tells me, cause he's bald (obviously). yeah, so i think it skips two generations. my great grand father's an interesting guy, he passed away 2 years ago at the ripe old age of 100 and lived in florida. But the cool part was that he was the secretary to Sun-Yat Sen's most trusted general (I forget his name). Anywho, I think i've ranted long enough about myself, time to get back on topic.

Yeah, asian girls should like me cause i'm asian......other wise they are bad.....very very bad

[Commando_turned_MD]

Status symbol.....AA girls prefer white guys.......I dont blame them.....Most Asian guys bitch and whine too damn much..... ....Yup....Yup.......

I prefer white girls..........I would never date an Asian chick...Most of them are too damn superficial...yada..yada......yada

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by kittygirl@Mar 23 2003, 11:31 AM
Yeah, it's not like AM wouldn't mind being with a white girl if they got one... it's fucked up the way Hollywood portrays AM's and they do get a shit end of the stick (but not the ONLY shit end)...
honestly, me, my asian male friends and asian co-workers don't feel like we're getting the shit end of the stick because of the media. but, that's just us. just do your own thing. fuck what everyone else thinks.

[Xishi]

I would never date an Asian chick...Most of them are too damn superficial...yada..yada......yada

Not superficial...they are just self-respecting by demanding the same qualities out of guys as they do out of themselves...

The superficial ones are usually the uneducated Whitewashed girls...

[SunWuKong]

what the hell? let's not start generalising asian females now. just let them do their thing, whatever that may be.

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by armycommando_turned_doctor@Mar 23 2003, 06:07 PM
I would never date an Asian chick...Most of them are too damn superficial...yada..yada......yada
well you know us asians....we're all the same; guys are asexual geeks, and girls are superficial sluts.
unlike whites, we have no individuality right?

[TyroneK(prettypretty)]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 23 2003, 09:35 PM
what the hell? let's not start generalising asian females now. just let them do their thing, whatever that may be.
They're all exotic and have sideways vaginas.

[angelwiththesword]

from what i have seen, asian people are trying to break out of what they consider "out of date" traditions. traditionally, a chinese person should marry another chinese person. as an example.

more then the whole throwing out traditional things, is the fact that many asian people are going out there and trying to experience new things. "wow, i've never dated a white person before." or "wow, i've never dated an east indian before." etc.

in the long run, everyone is the same as everyone else. the only thing separating dick, jane, myself and some bum on the street is skin color and gender, and now those barriers are starting to fall with the advent of same-sex marraiges and interracial relationships.

so anywho, my point being, it shouldn't have to matter whether asians are mating with asians. we're all human

[kimpossible]

I'm totally against dating outside your race. Everyone should stick with their own kind.

[girlmagnet]

Originally posted by armycommando_turned_doctor@Mar 24 2003, 02:07 AM
Status symbol.....AA girls prefer white guys.......I dont blame them.....Most Asian guys bitch and whine too damn much..... ....Yup....Yup.......

I prefer white girls..........I would never date an Asian chick...Most of them are too damn superficial...yada..yada......yada

How could someone like what
you try to say you are can't spell correctly 100%

[AliBabaIncorporated]

Originally posted by girlmagnet@Mar 24 2003, 12:18 AM
How could someone like what
you try to say you are can't spell correctly 100%
Try to be vaguely coherent when conducting ad hominem attacks like "u kan't spel" which have zero relevence to the topic at hand. Especially when the only spelling error in the post quoted was the omission of an apostrophe from "don't."

Originally posted by angelwithsword@Mar 23 2003, 10:20 PM
so anywho, my point being, it shouldn't have to matter whether asians are mating with asians.
As pointed out earlier, the problem isn't so much the outmarriage as the fact that many Asian guys are not mating at all. 860 married men for every 1000 married women is the largest disparity among any race in the country.

Originally posted by angelwithsword@Mar 23 2003, 10:20 PM
more then the whole throwing out traditional things, is the fact that many asian people are going out there and trying to experience new things. "wow, i've never dated a white person before." or "wow, i've never dated an east indian before." etc.
Also across all races and a wide variety of species, males have a far greater propensity to risk-taking than females have. So if your theory were correct we'd expect to see the outmarriage rate to be higher among men than among women. But the reverse is actually the case.

[ChinaLama]

girlmagnet and anyone else: please refrain from personal attacks.

[blkazngirl]

This is deep. In my parents case they did date with in their own race. What happened to them is that they saw pass the social issues, pass the skin color and fell in love. If anything, I think they exchanged cultures.

[deez nuts]

that's fine i hear you.

but you do what you gotta do. i'll do what i gotta do.

we just see it from different sides, that's all.

and the only people i bow three times to and kowtow three times to, is to my deceased grandparents. nobody else.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by tazadar@Mar 24 2003, 01:05 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 22 2003, 06:23 PM
the whiny asian dudes should stop ruining it for the rest of us. come on dating? sheesh, you win some and you lose some. don't go running to momma, crying and whining, when a girl shoots you down. it's all part of being a guy.

quit cock blocking me you whiny ass mofo's!
Are facts like "Asian women had white husbands 3.08 times more often than Asian men had white wives. ... That 3.08 ratio is up from 2.54 times in 1990.", whining? Or, "For every 1,000 Asian women with husbands, only 860 Asian men had wives ...", whining? I'll assume these statistics are close representation of the population.
http://www.upi.com/view.cfm?StoryID=200303...14-091022-8657r (http://www.upi.com/view.cfm?StoryID=20030314-091022-8657r)

From my understanding of the word, whining is crying over things not necessarily deserving. It's fact that Asians are misrepresented through a white prism. It's fact that there are white-washed Asians. It's fact that there are Asians that marginalize their own race in a racial totem pole where white is best, kowtowing to whites. It's fact that there are whites that fetishize the exoticism of Asia. It's fact the portrayal of sexual objectification of Asian females. Not everything is fair in this world, but don't you think a person's race should not be an impediment in courtship? Race should not matter?

I've seem discussion on this topic where words like "whore" are used or that an Asian female dates any non-Asian male is called a "sell-out." This is destructive and I shy away from such form of discussion. It's also unconstructive to be saying "I date who ever I want", "you're bitter", or "whiney Asian boy" when these things are a non-issue. The facts speak for itself. We cannot bury our heads in the sand hoping this sociological phenomenon goes away. This issue is part of the Asian American community.
while i know asian girls that refuse to date asian guys, at the same time, i don't think i personally know any asian guys that would date non-asian girls. yeah there's a disparity there. but that's far from being caused by asian women or white men alone. and what i think the bottom line is, is that there are far more important things to worry about than this, especially when you consider the fact that, or at least from my own personal observation, there are more asian girls who refuse to date non-asian guys than asian girls who refuse to date asian guys. and also consider that girls like guys who are confident and don't sweat the little things. i mean, go ahead and acknowledge the dating disparity, but repeating the issue over and over again is just going to make asian guys look bad. you're not changing any asian women's minds by doing that. on the other hand, you're probably making it worse by bringing it up over and over again.

[kitty]

Originally posted by tazadar@Mar 24 2003, 07:02 PM
I rarely mention anything about personal life online, but if I tell you I have an Asian girlfriend, is that still whining? It's a non-issue, still doesn't change the disparity.

To answer the question, Are Asian females "abandoning" Asian males? This is a loaded question as it's presumptuous that there is a single or main factor for the disparity that lies in the control of Asian females when there are varied factors contributing to it. The majority of marriages are still predominantly Asian/Asian, so the answer is no.
the presumption is also that asian females are expected to or somehow required to date within the race first and foremost, and that by not doing so, you are aberrant or traiterous... which is not only (IMO) close-minded but a sexist stance. I find arguments against interracial relationships hard to deal with and I'd rather see a discussion that focused on how to change the stereotypes preventing Asian males a fair chance at relationships than an attack on asian females who for whatever reason are not dating asian males...

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Mar 24 2003, 10:54 AM
[b]there are far more important things to worry about than this[/b
yea i'd say so

kinda like that war going on right now

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Originally posted by tazadar@Mar 24 2003, 12:39 PM
Originally posted by FrozenPizza@Mar 24 2003, 11:50 AM
yea i'd say so

kinda like that war going on right now
No, it's more important to talk about which high-definition television I should get.
So which brand u thinkin of?

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by tazadar@Mar 24 2003, 02:02 PM
I rarely mention anything about personal life online, but if I tell you I have an Asian girlfriend, is that still whining?
to be honest, i still consider it whining whether one has an asian girlfriend or not.

and that's not the first thing that popped in my mind. actually it was more: "wow, persistence and stalking actually works?"

but like you said it's all besides the issue.

[kasia]

Originally posted by Tao@Mar 23 2003, 12:19 PM
Frankly I really don't care one way or another as long as ppl date for healthy reasons, you know, besides just their race. Hell I really don't care if ppl do date just cause they look exotic, personally my only requirement for those kinds of people is that they are upfront about it, and not hide that shit under the guise of "wanting to better know a culture." As long as people admit what they are doing, then it's cool with me.

This debate also reminds me of one of my mom's friends, who was dating this old white guy. And one day she asked me why I don't prefer dating white girls to asians. So I asked "why should I?" and she responded "because your children will look so beautiful" :rolleyes: &nbsp;needless to say, I'm sure there are a LOT more people who think along those terms than we realize.
i'd agree with everything you said. it's not so much asian women dating non-asians that would bother me but rather their reasons for doing so. in high school, it had to do with upgrading a girl's social status - becoming more popular if she dated a popular white guy (as opposed to a popular asian guy). being more respected among peers and co-workers. fitting in with neighbors. being american.

i've heard from almost all of my asian gfs at one point or another that they would like to marry a white guy because "hapa kids are so cute." i don't think they realize how idiotic they sound when they say that. and the older they are and the more educated they are when they make those statements, the dumber they sound.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by tazadar@Mar 24 2003, 07:51 PM
Would it still be whining if the message was coming from an African American male? Well, I guess you have a different definition of whining. Why is it that you don't care to hear about facts like "Asian women had white husbands 3.08 times more often than Asian men had white wives. ... That 3.08 ratio is up from 2.54 times in 1990." What is happening outside your personal sphere shouldn't matter to you, right? Then, why you would care about whiny Asian boys ruining it for you? This is a contradiction, don't you think?

and that's not the first thing that popped in my mind. actually it was more: "wow, persistence and stalking actually works?"

but like you said it's all besides the issue.
That's a cheap shot. I can see you are irritated.
it was a joke, relax.

or i won't put in a nice word for you to you know who, when i see her (that was a joke too).

to answer your question. nobody likes a whiner. i mean do something if you feel that strongly about it. i'm interested in hearing your proposal on how to rectify the situation both on a personal and global level. i'm not denying the numbers, but crunching numbers is just half the equation. how would you propose to evening the statistical gap?

i'm not irritated at all. why would i be irritated? are you irritated?

bottomline is, that i've always been curious. none of my asian male friends around me have your point of view. so mind as well discuss it here, right? i mean that is the reason we're all on this board: to shed individual light on various subjects and bring it up for discussion. in other words, i'm just trying to generate discussion.

this is so cool. i'm debating with god. wow a porkbun and god. who would've thought (another joke).

[golden_buns]

I'm thinking that part of the problem on this situation is that some AMs seem to follow the stereotype that's expected from us. I guess they hear so much that we're asexual, weak, and geeky and at some point they start believing that as the fact and embrace it.

Although it's kinda wierd. I had never heard my asian guy friends complaining about the disparity of AMs and AFs, until the day I started surfing on asian web-sites.

I still say not to get discouraged by this, because when a woman says she likes WMs over AMs (thanks to stereotyping) she's thinking more about her general views of a group and not the opinion about an individual, and she might not like AMs in general, as a group, but she might like a particular AM.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by golden_buns@Mar 24 2003, 08:10 PM

Although it's kinda wierd. I had never heard my asian guy friends complaining about the disparity of AMs and AFs, until the day I started surfing on asian web-sites.

this is also the same exact reason why i am interested in hearing other point of views too.

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Mar 24 2003, 05:14 PM
this is also the same exact reason why i am interested in hearing other point of views too.
I don't know, I guess we'd all have to meet in real life to get a good judgement about the guys who complain or don't complain about this. Cuz this is the web and people can post fake pictures, and claim that they're rich succesful, confident, and bootylicious and still AFs won't give them the time of the day (go to goldsea and you'll see that this is the case for most AM posters)

[angelwiththesword]

i think that racial preference is irrelavent.

people are people.

love is love.

love is the law, love under will.

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by angelwiththesword@Mar 24 2003, 05:27 PM
i think that racial preference is irrelavent.

people are people.

love is love.

love is the law, love under will.
awww, you such a peaceful loving tree-huger, lemme give you a hug :dance:

[Xishi]

Tazadar:

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