Can't Stop Crying

[amietron]

what do i do to make myself stop crying? i'm crying at everything, and making myself have raccoon eyes. anytime my mom or dad screams at me, and anytime i think about HIM. what do i do?

i seriously feel like i'm bi-polar (http://home.golden.net/~soul/bipolar1.html) or something.



<!--EDIT|amietron|Aug 27 2002, 11:25 AM-->

[kimpossible]

i don't know what to tell you other than i'm sorry to see you so hurt.

i can cry with you... :(

[amietron]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Aug 27 2002, 10:46 AM
i can cry with you... :(
Nah, don't do that. Puffy, swollen eyes aren't pretty. Your husband would think you're allergic to something.

[johnny]

WHat does bi-polar mean? CAN SOME PLZ EXPLAIN? THANKS!


Also, Amietron, I offer to be your rebound guy :P

ok j/k, on a serious note,
it just takes time to heal and get it over him....it took me 2 years to get over my first love.

[kimpossible]

he's used to it. i'm like everyone's older sister. even to my friends that are older than me. what's up if you want to share?

[amietron]

1) Got dumped by Spencer on Wednesday night. Didn't really start this "crying-at-anything" phase until Sunday night. I'm not 100% sure WHY I got thrown away, but the point is, I did, like the candy wrappers and potato chip bags on garbage day. I want him back more than anything. It's not that it'd change things for me all that much. Just the fact that I knew I had someone to tell me "I love you" or whatever, made things better for me. He moved to Hawaii from NYC, on Saturday, Aug 24.
i think he's juss very untrusting b/c he's been hurt and he doesnt think he has enough heart to give u what u deserve
i talked to him, forgot when, but he was telling me that he always think that girls will leave &nbsp;him so i guess he built a shield around him and you just seem too good to be true ... from what i know, he doesn't seem like he talks to anyone about his problems. he just thinks that he's always alone huh. met too many ppl who betrayed him i guess. ... he needs to get slap so he'll start trusting more. that's the only thing i can think of. ... the only thing i can think of is patience. it's really up to you, do you think it's worth it. don't mind me, my parents don't approve of my bf, so everytime something happens, i ask myself that question. &nbsp;i seriously thinks that spence gotta be crazy to want to dump you. give him time to settle down and i'm sure he'll turn around. he always tell me how great u are. Those are both from AOL conversations I had with his friends. I had to copy-paste the convo part to make it into a body paragraph-type thing. It's not hard to make your pride go away if you want something badly enough.

2) My parents keep yelling at me about school and where I'm going this coming year. The public school that I would go to started yesterday and the private one that I went to last year starts on the 9th. (my education=me) My parents don't think my education (I) am worth their $17k. At the private school, both my GPA and class rank would be higher. I'd get more one-on-one time with teachers and extensions on projects, as needed.
At the public school, I'd have to take another year of P.E., the councilors and admin. suck ballz (they're the original reason I switched schools), and a lot of the teachers could just care less. No college help here. On the plus side, I'd be with my friends, I can sing in choir, and overall, I'd just be happier because of it.
Socially and economically, public school is better, but if all I want is college, then private school is the way for me to go.What should I do?

[amietron]

Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 10:48 AM
WHat does bi-polar mean? CAN SOME PLZ EXPLAIN? THANKS!
Go to this site (http://home.golden.net/~soul/bipolar1.html) to read a little bit about it.



<!--EDIT|amietron|Aug 27 2002, 11:20 AM-->

[johnny]

Amietron,
you sound kinda like the dependent type so maybe you need to find a dependent kinda guy. I'm Independent but when it comes to relationships I'm very Dependent on the other person. I hate my luck of meeting all these Independent women who are all better off single than making a guy miserable.

Okay I didn't answer your question, sorry.

[amietron]

If you don't mind, could you describe the two types?

[johnny]

Originally posted by amietron@Aug 27 2002, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 10:48 AM
WHat does bi-polar mean? CAN SOME PLZ EXPLAIN? THANKS!
Go to this site (http://home.golden.net/~soul/bipolar1.html) to read a little bit about it.
Okay thanks.

To add to that bi-polar fancy smancy terminology, I feel that is wrong and does not describe it well. Some dumb ASS created that term and diagnosed that term so they canmake money and make it seem it's a problem. I would agree people suffer from maniac depression, but that bi-polar stuff is extreme.

My point to all this, some people(like myself) are very sensitive and moody (thus, I am a cancer) - at times I feel very outgoing and then other times I block myself from everyone else.

Two of the same kind do not match in a way, so I take back what I said about you needing a dependent guy - maybe you need a Independent guy that just loves you for who you are?? maybe...

Just re-thinking, 2 sensitive people who are a couple might understand each other but I think in the long-term will drive each other nuts in the long run.


SO I guess I'm bless/CURSED to have to get with a strong Independent woman who is sorta insensitive? Okay I digressed too much on this one...

[kimpossible]

What I would say is: You're going to need some time to grieve over this relationship. I know you're trying to piece together what happened. Suddenly getting dumped sucks, the relationship ends but the feelings don't. You may never truly understand why, and I can tell you that from personal experience.

As for school, are your parents unwilling or just unable to pay for private school? Not sure.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 02:29 PM
To add to that bi-polar fancy smancy terminology, I feel that is wrong and does not describe it well. Some dumb ASS created that term and diagnosed that term so they canmake money and make it seem it's a problem. I would agree people suffer from maniac depression, but that bi-polar stuff is extreme.

there is a big difference between simply having mood swings and being bi-polar. bi-polar people can have difficulties functioning normally in society. but the bottom line is that no certain situation happened in one's life to cause the condition. it's a chemical imbalance.

amie i really doubt you are bi-polar, since this started because of your break-up. if you are bi-polar, then you would always have been swinging on emotional extremes, and definitively you would not be able to place the cause of your condition. that would mean that for no reason at all, you can be extremely happy one moment and then go on to extremely sad the next. it sounds to me that you're just simply sad right now because of what happened. a common trait in depression-related mental conditions is that no single event caused the condition. patients do not know why they are that way. they just are.

i am the last one to be giving relationship advice, but just give it time, and you'll be over him. there are plenty of people on this site that have gone through these situations, so feel free to talk about it.



<!--EDIT|SunWuKung|Aug 27 2002, 02:47 PM-->

[amietron]

Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 11:29 AM
My point to all this, some people(like myself) are very sensitive and moody (thus, I am a cancer) - at times I feel very outgoing and then other times I block myself from everyone else.

Two of the same kind do not match in a way, so I take back what I said about you needing a dependent guy - maybe you need a Independent guy that just loves you for who you are?? maybe...

Just re-thinking, 2 sensitive people who are a couple might understand each other but I think in the long-term will drive each other nuts in the long run.

SO I guess I'm bless/CURSED to have to get with a strong Independent woman who is sorta insensitive? Okay I digressed too much on this one...
In the feng-shui thing from the Chinese horoscope site that MK or someone linked into the signs post, it said that two people who share a habitat/living space should have the same lucky areas or something. (Here's a link to that site (http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/fsdir.htm).) So they can't be opposites, I don't think.

I'm confused, still.

[johnny]

This is OT but to just say from my own experience I never dumped a girl - I always wait to let her dump me. I guess I rather be with someone and be unhappy than single and unhappy. :blink: Whatever that means...

[amietron]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Aug 27 2002, 11:44 AM
As for school, are your parents unwilling or just unable to pay for private school? Not sure.
Unwilling. They don't think I deserve it.

[johnny]

^
^
Amie,
in reply to your last post, What about the saying that Opposites attract? Isn't this somewhat of a true notion? I guess it all depends on the persons.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by amietron@Aug 27 2002, 02:47 PM
Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 11:29 AM
My point to all this, some people(like myself) are very sensitive and moody (thus, I am a cancer) - at times I feel very outgoing and then other times I block myself from everyone else.

Two of the same kind do not match in a way, so I take back what I said about you needing a dependent guy - maybe you need a Independent guy that just loves you for who you are?? &nbsp;maybe...

Just re-thinking, 2 sensitive people who are a couple might understand each other but I think in the long-term will drive each other nuts in the long run. &nbsp;

SO I guess I'm bless/CURSED to have to get with a strong Independent woman who is sorta insensitive? &nbsp; Okay I digressed too much on this one...
In the feng-shui thing from the Chinese horoscope site that MK or someone linked into the signs post, it said that two people who share a habitat/living space should have the same lucky areas or something. (Here's a link to that site (http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/fsdir.htm).) So they can't be opposites, I don't think.

I'm confused, still.
hahhah don't buy too much into that stuff now!
well i don't know what the site says about personality. from what i gather, it does say that it's better to be with someone with the opposite "elemental makeup" than you. for example, i am most abundant in the element of metal, while lacking in the element of wood. my perfect mate would supposedly be abundant in wood and lacking in metal. the whole idea revolves around being in balance. most of us are inherently imbalanced in the elements.

[amietron]

Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 11:48 AM
This is OT but to just say from my own experience I never dumped a girl - I always wait to let her dump me. I guess I rather be with someone and be unhappy than single and unhappy. :blink: Whatever that means...
Spencer always got dumped, too. That's why his friend says she thinks he did it cus he doesn't want to get hurt. What the hell is that? Goddamn. What am I gonna do?

Me too, me too.

[johnny]

Amie I keep forgetting that you're in High School still.... and my thoughts are that 17k a year is way too steep for a mere high school edumacation. Make a deal with your parents to have them save that money for a better college edumacation. Just my .02

[johnny]

If he really really like you he would not dump you. That lame reason he's claiming that he was dumped in the past so he is dumping you to not get hurt is WAAAAACK, lame, weaksauce! Think about it.

He doesn't deserve you and just can't hang with you in a relationship. Have you though about it this way?

[kasia]

i think i'm bipolar. i can be end-of-the-world sad on the night of a break-up and be really, really happy the next day for no reason at all. but amy, you seem like you're mostly sad (rather than hitting the two extremes), so it doesn't look like you're bipolar. that's a good thing :)

i was also really sad after my first break-up. i think what made it worse was that i dwelled on it--kinda like what it seems like you're doing now. having talks with his friends and analyzing each and every thing said. it may seem to make you feel better in the short run--but really, it may be making it harder for you to just move on. as hard as it seems, my advice is to consciousless disallow yourself from thinking about him and smile all the time like you're crazy.

[amietron]

Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 11:54 AM
Amie I keep forgetting that you're in High School still.... and my thoughts are that 17k a year is way too steep for a mere high school edumacation. Make a deal with your parents to have them save that money for a better college edumacation. Just my .02
So you're saying that I should give up my opportunity to go to the private school, the school that'll help me get into college.. just so that I have more dough to pay for college? What deal is there to make? They're paying for my college education.

[amietron]

should i call him to see what's up? or cut all contact (at least for the next couple weeks)?

[amietron]

Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 11:56 AM
If he really really like you he would not dump you. That lame reason he's claiming that he was dumped in the past so he is dumping you to not get hurt is WAAAAACK, lame, weaksauce! Think about it.

He doesn't deserve you and just can't hang with you in a relationship. Have you though about it this way?
I don't care if it was a weaksauce excuse. He didn't claim it, either. That's what his friend thinks.

:(

[johnny]

^ I lost hope in you....you keep defending him like there's hope...


good luck and sorry to say things don't work out the way you would want it to....accept the fact and believe that it just wasn't meant to be.

[amietron]

Originally posted by johnny@Aug 27 2002, 12:22 PM
^ I lost hope in you....you keep defending him like there's hope...

good luck and sorry to say things don't work out the way you would want it to....accept the fact and believe that it just wasn't meant to be.
OK, OK, OK. So forget about Spencer. Expand on the whole "save you money for college" thing instead.

[kimpossible]

Oh golly, check me out. I'm about to alienate myself from the younger generation. :o

Amy> Dunno if your parents do this, but you can project your financial future through some software. If they were able to forecast and see some money issues, they might not have a choice. Looking at it objectively, college has more of an inpact on your future than highschool. The parentals may be saving their juice for your university, which is likely high enough to make 17k look like chump change.

Go look in Whatever and name your favorite drink. I have to stop you from crying no matter how juvenile my tactic might be.

[SunWuKong]

find something to distract you.
what works for me in times like these are lots of cigarrettes, alcohol, and endless TV.

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 27 2002, 01:53 PM
what works for me in times like these are lots of cigarrettes, alcohol, and endless TV.
To that excellent list, I would add getting a copy of Grand Theft Auto 3 for PS2.

[amietron]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 27 2002, 12:53 PM
find something to distract you.
what works for me in times like these are lots of cigarrettes, alcohol, and endless TV.
Endless TV. Yesterday I watched A Walk To Remember 3 times, and that made me cry even more. My mom nags me if I watch too much TV. She nags me if I do anything. So that's out.

[kasia]

movies make me cry more, too.

you know what helps? do you have a karaoke system? singing sad songs help, b/c, when you sing, you're actually releasing endorphins, which make you happy...

[wylin]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Aug 27 2002, 12:54 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 27 2002, 01:53 PM
what works for me in times like these are lots of cigarrettes, alcohol, and endless TV.
To that excellent list, I would add getting a copy of Grand Theft Auto 3 for PS2.
use ur computer for good columbine style therapy. Go get a good First Person Shooter like Soldier of Fortune 2, Halflife (the download counterstrike and day of defeat), or download the demo of battlefield 1942 and participate in sum mindless violence. that ussually makes me feel better. I can sit for hours shooting and killing ppl on the computer screen.

[karizma]

>> ahahha AB ur such a dork!

>> but on a serious note Doing..ive felt like you before...and now that i look back at it i hated myself for being so weak...i feel kinda stupid..not saying youre stupid or anything!! but yea...dont cry about spence dear...there will be others guys that will come into your life and guys that will love you way more than spence did...and as for your parents...bah i dont know what to say...but know that there are a whole lotta people that go through the same things you go through so you're not alone!!!...the important thing is that you got to tell yourself that you are worth it, you are priceless because you ARE...corny yet oh so true...dont sell yourself short because of some harsh comments from your parents...i know you want to be the best in their eyes...but some people are just plain unsatisfiable. and when all else fails know youve got your friends... im always here Doing...love you lots...-woot!!!

[Barbs]

aww amie don't be sad. we, all of us need, one big sad breakup in our lives. just once so u know what it feels like and u feel like complete crap i'm sure but it'll be okay. 6 months from now u'll look back and u wont' even believe how you could've been like this over *some guy*. trust me.

in the meantime, don't stay at home and mope and cry. throw away all things that remind u of him. moping over him doesn't help. reliving happy moments in fits of self-indulgence doesn't help. thinking u see his car everytime u see something that looks *like* it doesn't help. creating elaborate fantasies in your mind about what could've been doesn't help. do NOT call him. do not tell him you want him back and that u're so so sad. resist the urge.

what helps: go out w/ur friends. LOTS. go out clubbing. meet new guys so that u know there's better things out there. go shopping. LOTS. try on pretty things. buy pretty things. buy new underwear. lacy stuff. buy some stilettos. go get ur haircut. hi-light it. get a new hairstyle. read books completely unrelated to love/romance/sappiness. go out w/ur friends some more. and then some more. don't forget to study.

u'll be okay. i promise. u will.

[mrazntre]

amie: i got dumped too!!!!

i felt exactly how you felt. i was so pathetic. this happened the end of July. I'm feeling much better now, but only because time has passed and i've tried to keep busy. I suggest you just try to be busy. Mebbe you can work on a car or something ? =) That always helps me.

*sigh*

or,

you can go on yellowworld and be really mean to people.

don't call him! don't call him! ur just hurting yourself by doing that. uhmm... okay bye.

[amietron]

he text messaged me. what do i do? can i call him yet? or at least text message him back?

[mrazntre]

don't answer his phone calls
don't text him back
don't message him back
don't reply to his emails
don't call him back

don't even think of him.

[princess]

hope u feel better, amy. take care of urself, girl.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by amietron@Aug 27 2002, 04:04 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 27 2002, 12:53 PM
find something to distract you.
what works for me in times like these are lots of cigarrettes, alcohol, and endless TV.
Endless TV. Yesterday I watched A Walk To Remember 3 times, and that made me cry even more. My mom nags me if I watch too much TV. She nags me if I do anything. So that's out.
oh really. maybe you should try the mindless kind of TV. that's what i usually watch when i feel like shit. it numbs me. lots of sitcoms and jerry springer.



<!--EDIT|SunWuKung|Aug 29 2002, 08:12 PM-->

[boycott]

If you've got male friends spend time with them, meet some new guy, hold their hands, it might work. :) If not you can hold my hands and instead of crying you'll be screaming at how utterly handsome I am,......Hopefully you're laughing, but if not then please follow this link to a book I recommend and remember that laughter (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/-/books/0595094724/customer-reviews/3/ref=cm_rev_next/104-4457542-3739156?show=-submittime) cures everything, give it a try. Read all customer review b4 purchasing!



<!--EDIT|boycott|Aug 30 2002, 08:13 AM-->

[amietron]

There was an article in the Brit edition of Cosmo about women hanging out with guy buddies and being center of attention (even if it's just once a month) and that being a big confidence-upper.

I've always got Dave. Through all of the years I've known him, I can't say that we've hugged more than once or twice. Holding hands with just male friends is too weird for me, I thinks.

I hate those kinds of shows. Yes, sometimes when there's nothing else on, I admit I'll watch for a few minutes, but no more than 10. (We have digital cable or whatever, tho. So I have lots and lots of channels. It's not a problem finding something to watch. I get ppv movies too. Party at my house.) The people on them, some of em really irk me. Makes me wanna scream at the TV.

He commented to a post I made on my xanga. I miss him. And, he e-mailed me to call him. I wanna call. :(

[wylin]

end the cycle we got lotsa great men in this world for u amy, like who wouldnt want a nice JDM style girlfriend who cooks, cleans, takes care of their every need, doesnt complain, lets her man do whatever he wants. Girls like u are rare especially as you get older so remember girl ur an 350Z hotest japanese thing on the market and make sure ur a hot commodity just like the car, meet sum new guyz and go out more!!!



<!--EDIT|wylin|Aug 30 2002, 11:20 AM-->