Marriage

[kimpossible]

Not just on the forum, but from a lot of my friends I keep hearing that it's so great that I got married. As if it is the crowning glory of my life and I can rest on my rear and never worry about anything again.

I've heard that many women dream of planning their wedding since childhood. The whole Queen for a Day dream. Originally, I had no intentions of getting married. Ever. I just met that guy in the picture and my hormones got the better of me.

I'm interested in hearing what marriage means to people here. Doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl, but I think it would be along the lines of 1) Why do you want to get married? and 2) What does the idea of marriage mean to you?

By marriage, I mean all forms, including same-sex commitment ceremonies. I just consider that marriage as well.

Here's my breakdown:

Love is about emotion. Passion, sex, warm fuzzies

Relationships are about communication and how well two people can function.

Marriage is about the societal and governmental sanctioning of joining two families and property.

But there is still another element I can't quite put into words yet. Maybe someone's post will help me define it.

[angel nympho]

SECURITY. knowing that you'll always have somebody to come home to.

[deez nuts]

Uhhh to make mommy and daddy happy and get them off your case about carrying on the family name?

As of right now, I don't want to get married. It's just a piece of paper that makes a relationship legal. And if I do get married, I don't want kids. Oh, geez parents gonna be pissed about this one.

I view marriage as what you said: "Marriage is about the societal and governmental sanctioning of joining two families and property."

But people do change. I'll get back to you when I'm ready to take the plunge again.

[johnny]

I'm not best with words, but marriage is suppose to sybolize many things, but one of the most important is to fullfill the union of two loving persons(male and female) in the grace of God.... etc. The religious and supernatural aspect of the union through matrimony... life doesn't end or start here on this measely little scrummy planet of ours folks.

[SunWuKong]

when i was younger i wanted to get married. but now all i have to say is, whenever i go visit this friend of mine who is married and has a little girl, seeing him in all his family life glory scares the shit out of me.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Aug 23 2002, 05:55 PM
SECURITY. knowing that you'll always have somebody to come home to.
Yeah but Angel it also works against ya. When you become dissatisfied and disenchanted with the person you're married to and knowing you have to go home to that person every night, it's tedious. Of course you can get a divorce, but divorce is a pain.

As opposed to living with someone and having the option to kick that person out or move out without the repercussions of a divorce is pretty nice too.

I had friends crash at my place because he or she didn't want to head back home to their spouse.

[Arex]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Aug 24 2002, 09:01 AM
Yeah but Angel it also works against ya.  When you become dissatisfied and disenchanted with the person you're married to and knowing you have to go home to that person every night, it's tedious.  Of course you can get a divorce, but divorce is a pain.

As opposed to living with someone and having the option to kick that person out or move out without the repercussions of a divorce is pretty nice too.

I had friends crash at my place because he or she didn't want to head back home to their spouse.
"When you become dissatisfied and disenchanted..."??? You mean, "IF," right? If you think there's a reasonable chance of that occurring with whoever you're with, you probably shouldn't get married to that particular individual, I'm thinking.

I still find it odd that there're so many people out there with committment issues. Why's that? I can't think of anything greater than finding a special someone that I'll want to spend the rest of my life and raise a family with. What's wrong with me?

Alex

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by Arex@Aug 25 2002, 04:11 AM

"When you become dissatisfied and disenchanted..."??? You mean, "IF," right? If you think there's a reasonable chance of that occurring with whoever you're with, you probably shouldn't get married to that particular individual, I'm thinking.

I still find it odd that there're so many people out there with committment issues. Why's that? I can't think of anything greater than finding a special someone that I'll want to spend the rest of my life and raise a family with. What's wrong with me?

Alex
But Arex, it might be gradual. If it was obvious right away, they probably would never have gotten married.

But you might be madly in love and everything is peachy and then it slowly starts to go down hill as time goes on. That's the scenerio I'm talking about. Sometimes you won't know right away.

It's not you Arex, it's me (haha sounds like we're breaking up). I'm a pessimist and a commitment phobe (<----right term?). Been told many many times. I think most guys around our age is looking for watch you are looking for.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Arex@Aug 25 2002, 04:11 AM
I still find it odd that there're so many people out there with committment issues. Why's that? I can't think of anything greater than finding a special someone that I'll want to spend the rest of my life and raise a family with. What's wrong with me?
perhaps they have certain goals in life right now that needs to be achieved and he/she thinks that a commitment will be in confliction with those goals. at least that's how it is with me right now.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Aug 24 2002, 05:01 PM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Aug 23 2002, 05:55 PM
SECURITY. &nbsp;knowing that you'll always have somebody to come home to.
Yeah but Angel it also works against ya. When you become dissatisfied and disenchanted with the person you're married to and knowing you have to go home to that person every night, it's tedious. Of course you can get a divorce, but divorce is a pain.

As opposed to living with someone and having the option to kick that person out or move out without the repercussions of a divorce is pretty nice too.

I had friends crash at my place because he or she didn't want to head back home to their spouse.
well u gotta hope that in the end, after the passion fades, you have companionship and at least a TOLERANCE for the other person, right? i mean, it sucks coming home to an empty apartment... a lot of times i wish somebody... ANYBODY really... would be here just so i could hear movement and something other than my own breathing. the purpose of selecting a good person to marry is to make sure that you DONT get THAT sick of them later on down the line.

[boycott]

Marriage means to have someone who totally loves you for what you are whatever that may be and despite your arguments, fights, differences (culture, opinions, friends), you have someone to share living with whatever living is. Having someone there who's happy to see you after being apart for hours, days, months,etc...which feels like an eternity and you share that joy. Having someone to hold hands and walk down the street with and who everyone acknowledges as yours and who are either happy for you or jealous as hell. Who else can you be naked around and feel protected and loved, not your nuclear family, they'll think you're nuts. I see it as the ultimate sacrifice before you turn old, as you're throwing away freedom to date and explore lonesome solitary life for unconditional love along with understandiing and respect through your aging years until one has to bury the other and beg to die for reunion's sake.



<!--EDIT|boycott|Aug 26 2002, 12:25 PM-->

[mrazntre]

marriage is just social confirmation of conformity

[karizma]

>> marriage means you can get fat and have bad grooming habits without worrying about attracting a mate...haha jk jk jk...

>> i havent the slightest clue what it means only that if i get married its for forever...but...im 17 and marriage scared the living bajeebus out of me so id rather not think about it :D

[amietron]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 27 2002, 03:59 PM
im 17 and marriage scared the living bajeebus out of me so id rather not think about it :D
I'm 17, too... but I wanna get married like tomorrow. ;x

Originally posted by Arex@Aug 25 2002, 01:11 AM
I still find it odd that there're so many people out there with committment issues. &nbsp;Why's that? &nbsp;I can't think of anything greater than finding a special someone that I'll want to spend the rest of my life and raise a family with. &nbsp;What's wrong with me?

Alex
No. What's wrong with ME. I'm 17. Marriage shouldn't even be within the boundaries of the things that I should be thinking about.



<!--EDIT|amietron|Aug 27 2002, 04:06 PM-->