drool over me

[karizma]

http://iistix.com/_stixandstones/itmustsuc...ktobeamale.html (http://iistix.com/_stixandstones/itmustsucktobeamale.html)

>> the article is written by a girl who feels that because she is an asian female, an attractive one at that, life is a little more easier. do you think this is true? would you ever flaunt your looks to get something?

[SunWuKong]

life can be easy for attractive women if they know how to handle the sometimes unwanted attention.

but what happens if the women are unattractive? not so peachy anymore...

but what do i know? i'm not a woman.



<!--EDIT|SunWuKung|Aug 16 2002, 11:43 PM-->

[karizma]

>> upon meeting a stranger, would you treat a woman who was attractive better than one who wasnt?

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 16 2002, 11:33 PM
http://iistix.com/_stixandstones/itmustsuc...ktobeamale.html (http://iistix.com/_stixandstones/itmustsucktobeamale.html)

>> the article is written by a girl who feels that because she is an asian female, an attractive one at that, life is a little more easier. do you think this is true? would you ever flaunt your looks to get something?
Actually, I'm glad you brought this topic to our attention. I was at Circuit City getting a new plan for my cell phone. While I was in there, there's this guy who immediately greeted me and my other Asian friend. While I was talking to him and by the way he looked at me speaks "oooh exotic beautiful asian girl." But I thought to myself, "maybe I'm just reading into this way too much." So, I brushed it off. After he referred me to the Sprint PCS personnel, I could tell by my peripheral vision, he was still lingering around looking at me. My friend nudged me to confirm my speculation. Anyway, I don't necessarily think every Asian woman thinks they have it easy going all the time. It depends who I encounter, I suppose. When I walked into Best Buy a month ago, they gave me despiccable service. :angry: So, whether that has anything to do with ethnicity is out of my control. Personally, I don't use my ethnicity and flaunt it. Life is relative. So as an Asian American, life may be easier one moment, but other times, more challenging.



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Aug 17 2002, 12:18 AM-->

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 17 2002, 12:08 AM
>> upon meeting a stranger, would you treat a woman who was attractive better than one who wasnt?
while i would love to say otherwise, to be perfectly honest with you, i would probably treat an attractive woman better. but it won't be because of conscious effort. what i mean is that attractive women will undoubtably affect my thinking by virtue of them being attractive. however, this is not to say that i am a jerk to women i find unattractive. it's just that i would be lying if i said with 100% certainty that i would not subconsciously treat an attractive woman better.

this is not to say that attractive women all have it made of course. one of my ex-girlfriends was absolutely beautiful, but she could not handle all the attention (which was usually unwanted) that was given to her. on the other hand, it made her even more insecure. it made her think that people only appreciate her for her looks. while she didn't like that, mentally she was also trapped by that.

there had been studies on the relationship between beauty and self-esteem. the study found that they relate like a bell curve. the most confident people were the average looking people, while the very attractive people and the very unattractive people were less confident in themselves.

but still, i think attractive women have it better than unattractive women.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 17 2002, 12:39 AM


but still, i think attractive women have it better than unattractive women.
Well, it depends if attractive women have it "better" than unattractive women. Analogous to this bell-curve phenomenon, it's possible that attractive women (however you define it) may not have it better in terms of the respect they deserve for their intelligence and/or personality. "Average" women may have the most respect, and the most "unattractive" women may also be underestimated in terms of intelligence/personality. So, really, how we determine what's attractive and how we react to our perceptions of attractiveness is relative. Therefore, whether one has it "better" than another person may very well be contigent to our schema of beauty and its relation to intelligence.



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Aug 17 2002, 01:09 AM-->

[thaite]

Would I flaunt my good looks to my advantage? Damn straight I would!

Uh, that is if I had good looks to flaunt. :blink:

[tapestrybabe]

Wellz, i was considered not so attractive in high school. It was difficult in terms of not measuring up with the rest of the girls... and feeling very unwanted when it came to the guys... But i remember when it came to my high school prom... i actually wore a dress, make up, nice shoes and what not... And i remember that night... There were some ppl that were just totally surprised to see me all decked out like that... is that really you?? And me, this is what i've learned... i receive far greater attention from ppl when i'm looking at my best as opposed when i'm looking average with no make up, wearing my hair in a bun and just wearing jeans and a tshirt.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by tapestrybabe@Aug 17 2002, 01:14 AM
Wellz, i was considered not so attractive in high school. It was difficult in terms of not measuring up with the rest of the girls... and feeling very unwanted when it came to the guys... But i remember when it came to my high school prom... i actually wore a dress, make up, nice shoes and what not... And i remember that night... There were some ppl that were just totally surprised to see me all decked out like that... is that really you?? And me, this is what i've learned... i receive far greater attention from ppl when i'm looking at my best as opposed when i'm looking average with no make up, wearing my hair in a bun and just wearing jeans and a tshirt.
I would rather want a guy who liked me as an "average" person rather than spending all that time getting all decked out for an occassion and finally being noticed. Even though a first impression is important, I'd rather be noticed as an average person rather than someone who doesn't consistently look all "decked out." per se. I tend to think our looks deviate or fluctuate from our average looks anyway. One moment, we look like crap. The other moment we look glamourous. And most of the days, we look like any other common folk out there who may not really stand out from the crowd. Either crappy or glamourous, it's inevitable that more attention (whether positive/negative) occurs. I think people who get all souped up with their looks or boast themselves may very well have a better chance of attracting more mates,... Does Natural Selection ring a bell? :huh: But as human beings with intrinsic capacities, the quality rather than the quantity of relationships should also be taken into consideration. In other words, even if someone thinks I'm attractive on a day I'm decked out, I don't necessarily like him enough until he accepts me for being "normal" or "crappy"-looking. When I say I crappy, I don't mean when someone looks consistently crappy or have a lack of hygeine. I mean someone who's ill, angry, or sad.



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Aug 17 2002, 01:40 AM-->

[angel nympho]

Well, we aren't really talking about using your looks to LAND a man. Just to get ahead a little bit. Why wouldn't you appreciate a little attention every now and then?

[artsfartsyjanet]

Because it's in my personality to have a tendency towards anonymity. I don't like to be noticed physically nor caught in the spot light in a public place. I only like to be in the spot light when I'm comfortable and prepared. For instance, I've conducted and participated in numerous meetings without regard to what other people are thinking in the top of their heads. I don't think attention is a bad thing necessarily, but I don't like to rely on that to measure how I feel about myself entirely. I'd rather be noticed in the end for my personality, contribution, and my intelligence rather than my looks because our youth too shall pass while the other faculties remain. :)



<!--EDIT|artsfartsyjanet|Aug 17 2002, 02:03 AM-->

[SunWuKong]

there's this saying... "girls who think that they're intelligent want to be thought of as beautiful. girls who think that they're beautiful want to be thought of as intelligent."

what do you think?

[krissy]

On occasion, the thought that cute people (of any ethnicity) have it easier in life has crossed my mind (damn them <_< ).....but I never thought Asian had anything to do with it specifically. However, it (the "exotic"/attention factor) may also depend on where you are (-->the volume of Asians present).

I think that most women looking lost in automotive store would get assistance - not just Asian females. I find that being nice/friendly usually gets me the best service - which I like to think is independent of my being an Asian female.

If I had good looks to flaunt, I wouldn't see a problem using them (but for good and not evil :) ). I don't actually believe they'll get you _that_ far on their own anyway, but may provide an advantage for the little things.

[krissy]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 16 2002, 11:49 PM
there's this saying... &nbsp;"girls who think that they're intelligent want to be thought of as beautiful. &nbsp;girls who think that they're beautiful want to be thought of as intelligent."

what do you think?
I think women want everything. Well, I actually think that most girls/women would like to be perceived as both, so if they think they've already got one down, then of course they want the other. It's human nature to always want more...

[karizma]

there's this saying... "girls who think that they're intelligent want to be thought of as beautiful. girls who think that they're beautiful want to be thought of as intelligent."

what do you think?

>> there's a lot of truth to that saying. who wouldnt want to be thought of as "having it all". beauty and brains...what more could you want? aside from supernatural sex skills...kidding...kidding...

>> i really worry when it comes to first impressions. if i get all decked out and whatnot and look my best that day...are they going to be disappointed when they see me some other day looking like i normally do? with this in mind id wonder whether i should dress down so when im dressed normally ill look better....ok rambling...ya'll get my point.

>> artsyfartsyjanet: your posts never cease to make a lightbulb appear over my head haha...and i agree...id much rather be remembered for a sparkling personality than for looking good in a tube top and a miniskirt.

>> so when judging a person purely on how they look...do you tend to think that attractive girls are more caught up in themselves, more self-centered...confident...etc.? and for the less attractive ones...do you think they tend to live in a pretty girl's shadow?



<!--EDIT|karizma|Aug 17 2002, 08:09 AM-->

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by krissy@Aug 17 2002, 01:01 AM
...women want everything.
That should be the final say of this thread :D

Do attractive people have it "better" in our society? Yes. Will men, when confronted by two women of equal intelligence but unequal attractiveness, respond accordingly? Yes. Would women in the same situation? Yes. Let's no kid ourselves, looks matter.

It's about determining how much it matters, and to each his/her own.

I don't think there's anything wrong with women doing what they can to get what they want. Men do it all the time. I don't think it's such a bad thing -- just as long as you don't completely buy into the lie...

[kasia]

i think attractive females, as well as attractive males, get better treatment by virtue of being attractive. i don't think being asian, however, has much to deal with it unless you're dealing with a person with an asian fetish. (and really, there is a population of white guys with an asian fetish but they're not *everywhere*, right?)

i personally give attractive people better treatment as well--not intentionally, but sometimes just because attractive people are more pleasant to be around. they're more confident, comfortable with themselves, etc. i know that isn't always the case, but i've had bad experiences with many unattractive friends who have never failed to sneak in snide comments, etc., whenever possible b/c of their own insecurities. i feel one can let their guard down more often with truly attractive people.

people say it's wrong to judge people by their looks because it is a trait that one cannot change. <-- that statement in itself is up for debate now with make-up, gyms, plastic surgery, etc. but really, we judge people on other things that they may not be personally responsible for. for example, artists. we praise them. but i think that the talent they have is at least partially natural--something they are born with. we even judge people based on their moral character. but one's moral character depends on one's upbringing and social environment. if we can judge people harshly on their moral character or their having or lacking a talent, we can surely judge them on their looks without feeling bad about it.

oh--and when the *unattractiveness* is a result of poor personal hygiene, i take that offensively and am morally repulsed by it. :angry:



<!--EDIT|kasia|Aug 17 2002, 04:30 PM-->

[deez nuts]

I don't understand why this is such a big deal. So what if we give more attention to someone attractive. That's what we're hard-wired to do, to find an attractive mate.

And to the extent that men are guilty of it, I agree. I'm not gonna approach a woman I don't find attractive and start talking with her and hope to get her in bed. Sorry to sound cruel, but it's real life. Whether I want to stay with her, then personality and compatibility comes into play. But, what's the initial reason for even putting myself on the line, go up and talk to her; how she looks.

And women are just as guilty of it too, hell I've seen at bar and clubs guys get shot down by hot girls just because he doesn't live up to her expectations, looks wise. What is she gonna notice his 180 IQ or how truly understanding and sensitive he is? No, it's whether he looks good to her. That's the make or break factor that determines whether he goes onto round two.

It's human nature. There's a reason why plastic surgery and the diet industry is booming. Beauty is subjective, but thats a whole another topic.





<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Aug 17 2002, 06:12 PM-->

[tapestrybabe]

Well... i never said it was a big deal. It was just an observation i was making... when it comes to the attention i receive when i make that effort to make myself look good. And i admit.... depending on how i dress.. it all kinda changes my attitude about myself.. like when i dress in a business suit.. i feel professional. Or when i wear a dress and make up.. it makes me feel feminine... or when i wear like a black leather jacket... i feel tough... And i feel how i present myself... kinda changes my attitude... and as a result... kinda changes the attention i get...

[Saiko]

I don't think I'm the nicest looking, but it seems like I'm fine enough to get attention. Not trying to be conceited or anything. But it is kind of funny how you sometimes get "special treatment" from lusty eyed guys. I admit that I sometimes do manipulate people. But I don't take it too far. What's the harm in having them fetch something for me? I wouldn't work them like dogs or lure the money out of anybody. It's kind of funny when in class, a guy tells some other person (male or female) to shove it when they ask for a favour. Then they often obey when I ask. Then again, if you think about it, it's kind of sad. Brush away an ugly person for being ugly. It's not as if they could choose to be fugly or super model yummy when they're born. But Kasia also has a good point. Unattractiveness caused by bad hygiene is blech. Keep yourselves clean, people.

[artsfartsyjanet]

Originally posted by Saiko@Aug 18 2002, 10:35 PM
I don't think I'm the nicest looking, but it seems like I'm fine enough to get attention. Not trying to be conceited or anything. But it is kind of funny how you sometimes get "special treatment" from lusty eyed guys. I admit that I sometimes do manipulate people. But I don't take it too far. What's the harm in having them fetch something for me? I wouldn't work them like dogs or lure the money out of anybody. It's kind of funny when in class, a guy tells some other person (male or female) to shove it when they ask for a favour. Then they often obey when I ask. Then again, if you think about it, it's kind of sad. Brush away an ugly person for being ugly. It's not as if they could choose to be fugly or super model yummy when they're born. But Kasia also has a good point. Unattractiveness caused by bad hygiene is blech. Keep yourselves clean, people.
I couldn't agree with you more. :D

[mrazntre]

is that why i get treated like shit?

http://iistix.com/_stixandstones/itmustsuc...ktobeamale.html

>> the article is written by a girl who feels that because she is an asian female, an attractive one at that, life is a little more easier. do you think this is true? would you ever flaunt your looks to get something?

i wonder what that chick looks like.

most guys that yell "holla" are usually black and according to my unofficial census, black guys hit on anything that's female. I mean ANYTHING. ANYTHING. fat, skinnny, ugly, booty, trashy, slutty, dirty and all combinations thereof.

IS that author a korean chick?


FIGURES


beauty is quite subjective. I've heard someone say that Margaret Cho was fine. *bEEEARF*


GUYS-- haven't you ever messed around in traffic before? when you just check out WHATEVER the hell is around you? because there's absolutely nothing else to do? I usually like to mess with girls who make little gestures to try to look cute. it's all good. I bet the hispanic guy was just being sarcastic.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 17 2002, 08:49 AM
there's this saying... "girls who think that they're intelligent want to be thought of as beautiful. girls who think that they're beautiful want to be thought of as intelligent."

what do you think?
The grass is always greener on the other side...

[amietron]

I'm actually really interested in this whole 'survival of the prettiest', thing. In Psychology Today, or was it Discover magazine? there was one issue on beauty and attraction. It was really interesting. I wish I had a copy of it.