single vs. taken

[karizma]

>> so lately ive been engaging in mental warfare with myself. over what? whether or not i should stay single and have my fun or pursue a relationship and have fun with a significant other by my side. tell me what are the cons and pros to being in a relationship or being single. =) your help will be much appreciated!!

[deez nuts]

It's complicated but here goes:

When you're single, you wish you're with someone.
When you're with someone, you wish you were single.

[Arex]

Hey, just go with your gut feelings.

Pros of being single:
Meet/meat as many people as your heart desires
Accountable to no one 'cept yourself

Pros of being in a relationship:
Someone you can count on to (hopefully) always be there for you for whatevers and vice versa
Someone to love

My own gut feelings tell me that being single kinda sucks. Then again, I haven't been meeting that many cool and nifty people. I'm thinking though, a relationship isn't just something you turn on and off like a switch. Rather, it's a matter of timing and finding the right person. I imagine if you met the right person and you were ready for a relationship, the relationship would just happen. What do I know though? I'm a relationship/dating ignoramus.

Alex

[Arex]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Aug 14 2002, 04:55 PM
It's complicated but here goes:

When you're single, you wish you're with someone.
When you're with someone, you wish you were single.
That's very true for some that the grass is always greener. Myself? I've never really desired to be single. I've just always felt that I'm at my best when I've that someone special to provide for and be a better person for. Then again, until recently, I've never known anything but serious long term relationships. And now? I've dated around a tad but it's just not the same as being in a committed relationship with someone that you care deeply for. I yearn for that deep connection. Excuse my cheese.

Alex

[karizma]

>> aww thanks arex for that enlighteningly sweet reply lol.

>> leave it bun boy to get me even more confused lol.

>> right now im kinda "talking" to this guy. we've been talking for about 2 months now and the only reason we havent hooked up is because he's scared of commitment and for once im not. im really diggin this guy and im willing to ditch the single life for him....but lately ive been hanging out with my friends more and more...drinking smoking...having fun and the will to find a significant other is diminishing...im enjoying having fun with no strings attached and not worrying about someone else...but i also miss him. what the hell am i to do?

[Barbs]

i've got to agree with Chasiubao...he summed it up quite well.

i do think that dating around is important because then you learn what it is you want or don't want. i think u learn more what you don't want.

enjoy life while you're young...

[thaite]

buoywonder is single and has been for quite awhile (and he doesn't count that chica he was with last summer because she was a terrible person).

buoywonder doesn't mind being single, but he is looking around.

buoywonder wouldn't have to look so damn hard if he could only convince a certain someone (as well as himself) that a long-distance relationship can work.

:angry:

[deez nuts]

Go with Barbs, Karizma. Date him casually, but not exclusively. Let the relationship grow and see where it takes you. Geez woman, you're 17 or 18. Plenty of time later in life to find someone you want to settle down with. Enjoy life while you're young and get too know different people (yeah and guys) that are out there. Stop sweating the drama and the mental anguish. If you're attracted to him, go out with him, but make it clear from the start about what you want. Dating doesn't have to be complicated, if you don't make it out to be that way.

Hope this clears it up for you. Sorry to confuse ya. And about that older sister of yours.............j/k!

[Arex]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here: what's so wrong with trying your hand at a committed, exclusive relationship even if at a young age with your whole life ahead of you? Granted, you may be young, but doesn't that just mean you have plenty of time to try all sorts of different things out later (such as more casual dating) should this one not pan out? Hell, you aren't tying the knot! From what I'm hearing, it's something that you seem at least somewhat curious about. I find that serious, committed relationships are a whole different beast from more casual, non-committed relationships. Nothing wrong with trying 'em both out. I've personally had nothing but serious relationships until recently when I've started dating more. For me, the dating is more a hunt for those special somebodies out there worth being more serious about. But that's just me. I don't know why there're so many committment-phobes out there. Yes dating is important as it helps you learn what you like and don't like. But if you think you've found something you like, "enjoying life" doesn't necessarily entail tossing it aside to go look for something else you might also like. It's not a friggin' BAD thing to want to be more serious and turn it up a notch when you find someone that you think is worthwhile. Go with what your heart says. No one but yourself can tell you if you're ready or not ready for any kind of relationship whether serious, casual or otherwise.

I will say this though: you probably want to be weary of attempting anything seriouswith a guy who himself is not willing to commit to anything. You can't force the issue with someone who himself isn't there yet.

Alex

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by Arex@Aug 15 2002, 06:40 PM
I'm going to play devil's advocate here: what's so wrong with trying your hand at a committed, exclusive relationship even if at a young age with your whole life ahead of you? Granted, you may be young, but doesn't that just mean you have plenty of time to try all sorts of different things out later (such as more casual dating) should this one not pan out? Hell, you aren't tying the knot! From what I'm hearing, it's something that you seem at least somewhat curious about. I find that serious, committed relationships are a whole different beast from more casual, non-committed relationships. Nothing wrong with trying 'em both out. I've personally had nothing but serious relationships until recently when I've started dating more. For me, the dating is more a hunt for those special somebodies out there worth being more serious about. But that's just me. I don't know why there're so many committment-phobes out there. Yes dating is important as it helps you learn what you like and don't like. But if you think you've found something you like, "enjoying life" doesn't necessarily entail tossing it aside to go look for something else you might also like. It's not a friggin' BAD thing to want to be more serious and turn it up a notch when you find someone that you think is worthwhile. Go with what your heart says. No one but yourself can tell you if you're ready or not ready for any kind of relationship whether serious, casual or otherwise.

I will say this though: you probably want to be weary of attempting anything seriouswith a guy who himself is not willing to commit to anything. You can't force the issue with someone who himself isn't there yet.

Alex
Yeah good point Arex, I see where you're coming from.

Poor, poor Karizma in our efforts to help her, I think we are making her more confused.

I mean my current situation. I'm dating someone, but we're free to see other people when we want. And it's working nice.

Edit: Couldn't understand what I wrote.

Gah it's hard to type with J-Lo's video playing on the background. Dannnnnng she looks good. Sorry off the topic.



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Aug 15 2002, 10:01 PM-->

[angel nympho]

It depends. I'd much rather be single than be with somebody just to be with them... But I'd much rather be with somebody I really care about and who really cares about me than to be single. *SHrug* They both have their ups and downs.

[princess]

aye woman i think it juss depends on looking at urself and whether or not u feel ur up for a relationship. if u decide to go for it and he does anything to disrespect u...ill help u kick his ass :lol:

[karizma]

>> with liz by my side i have nothing to worry about!! lol...

>> i had sort of an argument with mr. im-afraid-of-commitment. he says i scare him because i hang out with a lot of guy friends. i guess its justifiable but yknow...i get along with guys much better than i get along with girls. if my girl friends would call me out once in a fricken blue moon id happily hang out with them. but i guess im just one of the boys. is that so wrong? i really dont know how to reassure him that if i had any remote interest in my guy friends i wouldnt bother pursuing him...ergh...insecurities are a bummer. im questioning whether i should give up while im not too attached =/

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 20 2002, 02:08 AM


>> i had sort of an argument with mr. im-afraid-of-commitment. he says i scare him because i hang out with a lot of guy friends.
What a wuss!

Give him da big PEACE OUT!
For real, not even started dating and already trouble.

Tell him to be a man already? Mmm'kay thanx.

If ya want, I got a younger brother for ya (22) =]
See how much I care? You and amietron can go on flights from Cali to NYC and double date. It'll be the coolest. And bring that sister of yours, Raaaar! :ph34r:



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Aug 20 2002, 04:28 PM-->

[princess]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 20 2002, 02:08 AM
>> with liz by my side i have nothing to worry about!! lol...

>> i had sort of an argument with mr. im-afraid-of-commitment. he says i scare him because i hang out with a lot of guy friends. i guess its justifiable but yknow...i get along with guys much better than i get along with girls. if my girl friends would call me out once in a fricken blue moon id happily hang out with them. but i guess im just one of the boys. is that so wrong? i really dont know how to reassure him that if i had any remote interest in my guy friends i wouldnt bother pursuing him...ergh...insecurities are a bummer. im questioning whether i should give up while im not too attached =/
:P u got that right, jae :lol:

as for the whole guy friend thing...keep hanging out with the fellahz, despite his worries. u need to let him know that theres nothing going on and he shouldnt be so insecure. he has to learn to trust u.

[karizma]

What a wuss!

Give him da big PEACE OUT!
For real, not even started dating and already trouble.

Tell him to be a man already? Mmm'kay thanx.

If ya want, I got a younger brother for ya (22) =]
See how much I care? You and amietron can go on flights from Cali to NYC and double date. It'll be the coolest. And bring that sister of yours, Raaaar! &nbsp;

>> awww i feel so loved!! lol is ur bro hot? hahaha...

>> i really want to tell him to be a man about this and get over those fears but he's been screwed before so i guess i have a little sympathy. but the longer he makes me wait the more i feel like giving up. who wants to wait around right? there are other fellas to pursue but im really feeling this guy...what...to...do...dont know how much more of this crap i can take man!

[Arex]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 20 2002, 05:00 PM
>> i really want to tell him to be a man about this and get over those fears but he's been screwed before so i guess i have a little sympathy. but the longer he makes me wait the more i feel like giving up. who wants to wait around right? there are other fellas to pursue but im really feeling this guy...what...to...do...dont know how much more of this crap i can take man!
Hahaha. I waited around for a year for this one girl to come around. We weren't seeing anyone 'sides each other but I was the only one that was really committed and was pushing for the relationship (though we saw each other and stayed at each other's places every day, we were only "dating" in her eyes...for a whole fucking year!). She too had some residual issues left over from a prior long-term relationship. After a year elapsed, she put it to an end 'cause she wasn't feeling it. That sucked, but I don't regret doing what I did 'cause I really loved this girl. I'd say you wait only about as long as you think this dude is worth waiting for (if at all).

Alex



<!--EDIT|Arex|Aug 21 2002, 12:35 AM-->

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 21 2002, 01:00 AM


>> awww i feel so loved!! lol is ur bro hot? hahaha...

>> i really want to tell him to be a man about this and get over those fears but he's been screwed before so i guess i have a little sympathy. but the longer he makes me wait the more i feel like giving up. who wants to wait around right? there are other fellas to pursue but im really feeling this guy...what...to...do...dont know how much more of this crap i can take man!
If ya want, I can point ya to his Xanga site. But mind you he's drunk and high off his rocker in that pic. And, I think he needs the eprops, whatever that means. The only person thats been hitting him up is his ex-gf and me. Hahaah, what a loser (meant in a loving brotherly way).

And ouch Arex. You a patient fella.



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Aug 21 2002, 12:06 PM-->

[amietron]

PWAHAHA! Show ME! And, I'll show her. :D

Shit, Woot. We could have made that Cali -> NYC thing come true if only I hadn't fucked up back in March. Dammit. I fucked us over. :(

I like being connected. And, Woot? I waited it out. Liiike- he said that I was stressing him out too much before the move, so he didn't want to talk on the phone. OK. Yeah, it was very :angry: but today, out of the blue, he called and made it all better. During the span of no phone, it was all text messaging amy on her cell phone.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by amietron@Aug 21 2002, 12:50 PM
PWAHAHA! Show ME! And, I'll show her. :D

Shit, Woot. We could have made that Cali -> NYC thing come true if only I hadn't fucked up back in March. Dammit. I fucked us over. :(

I like being connected. And, Woot? I waited it out. Liiike- he said that I was stressing him out too much before the move, so he didn't want to talk on the phone. OK. Yeah, it was very :angry: but today, out of the blue, he called and made it all better. During the span of no phone, it was all text messaging amy on her cell phone.
It's all good. I wasn't on YW till June/July. When inkpainter told me to come here. Come to think of it, where is that woman?



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Aug 21 2002, 06:22 PM-->

[Arex]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Aug 21 2002, 04:05 AM
And ouch Arex. You a patient fella.
Yeah, well, due to circumstances, I'm slowly but surely learning to not be as patient. I find that it adds to my mystique.=P

Alex

[karizma]

>> haha whats his xanga? you got me interested for some reason? do you have one too? i wanna read =)!!!

[deez nuts]

I'll ask my bro, forgot his info. I don't have one, I don't even know what xanga was. Plus too lazy to make one. Yah, I'm the laziest.



<!--EDIT|Chasiubao_Boy|Aug 22 2002, 01:29 PM-->

[amietron]

Originally posted by karizma@Aug 21 2002, 10:13 PM
>> haha whats his xanga? you got me interested for some reason? do you have one too? i wanna read =)!!!
OMG, woot. WATCH. We're gonna find out he's SUPER HOT and then the two of us can um fly to NYC. ;x Ok, so we can find someone with a credit card to give them cash, to buy us our tickets to go to NYC. Or uhh, take the train. Or greyhound. But I've never traveled long distance like that for either. Pwahaha. Amy's head is always in the clouds. whyy? whyyy? WHYYY?