Pushing people's limits

[etcj]

Well I guess I wanted to start this thread after a resurgence of homophobic comments (perhaps facilitated by my new avatar) on limits and boundaries when it come to exposure to GLBT folks.

Essential questions:
- How comfortable are you when you are with other GLBT folks? (Question for everyone, so don't assume this is for straight folks only)
- It is okay to be around a gay person, but not okay for them to kiss another guy in front of you?
- At what point do you think you have reached their limit in terms of tolerance and/or acceptance?

I know that lesbian images are somewhat more accepted due to the exoticization, eroticization, and commodification of women. Where have you seen a guy-guy kiss that you did not feel uncomfortable with, if any?

[kitty]

I hate to sound give the typical 'straight ally' response (that never seems as sincere as it is in my case), but I really don't have a problem with GLBT presence. I'm not turned off by GLBT people, or GLBT acts... although I feel less comfortable sometimes when I'm at a gay party.

Sometimes, wehn I go to a gay club (which in Ithaca is the only good party, or is the only places I go to in NYC since my friends who live there are gay) I feel very self-conscious because I become the outsider. My boyfriend and I are subjected to points and stares, and are generally made to feel less welcome. (I sometimes have a hard time ordering a drink 'cuz the bartenders will ignore me).

That has bothered me before... I feel like both communities could stand to be more inclusive of one another.

[Chester]

I hate to sound give the typical 'straight ally' response (that never seems as sincere as it is in my case), but I really don't have a problem with GLBT presence.Ditto that.

I turn off avatars, so I didn't even see your new one till just now. Keep it. I doubt if anyone gave Shy any shit for her's.

[teaz0r]

i get along with glbt folk fine. i've never once felt
uncomfortable around them, even when they're
shoving tongues down each other's throat. maybe
because i grew up in thailand, and the gay community
here is so large, and all the "in" places are in the "gay
district".

nothing ever really bothers me that much to get my
panties in a twist. but when i hear people make
homophobic comments and try to pass it as a joke or
blatantly direct it to the gay community' it really, really
bothers me. i hope those assholes die screaming.

[ayumi]

I love gay people, but why is it that, even though they know I'm straight, it's only a matter of time before they will try to "convert" me by coming on to me? That makes me uncomfortable and ruins the friendship in its incipient stage. So sad... And the excuses are pathetic. Girls have actually told me "everybody knows women make better lovers" and "it takes a woman to know how to really make love to a woman". And while those gross generalizations may very well be true, I simply am not interested in finding out.

[etcj]

Well kittygirl is so right about the need for more inclusiveness between the straight & GLBT communities. I think the same experience that you felt is experienced by gay or lesbian couples who go to straight bars.

[nonamerasian]

I like your avatar.

The picture came out nice.

- How comfortable are you when you are with other GLBT folks?

There are GLBTs who I'm not comfortable with, however, there are straights who make me uncomfortable, as well.

A majority of GLBTs I've met haven't made me uncomfortable, however, it isn't because they are GLBT.

- It is okay to be around a gay person, but not okay for them to kiss another guy in front of you?

No.

- At what point do you think you have reached their limit in terms of tolerance and/or acceptance?

?

Where have you seen a guy-guy kiss that you did not feel uncomfortable with, if any?

Once in a subway station. It looked more like fuck session than a good-bye kiss, though.

Then there is also a place in a park a cousin and I used to go that we dubbed "Make-Out Hill" where a bit of the kissing made us uncomfortable.

However, again, it had to do with manner than sexuality.

[Tao]

Well I guess I wanted to start this thread after a resurgence of homophobic comments (perhaps facilitated by my new avatar) on limits and boundaries when it come to exposure to GLBT folks.

Essential questions:
- How comfortable are you when you are with other GLBT folks? (Question for everyone, so don't assume this is for straight folks only)
- It is okay to be around a gay person, but not okay for them to kiss another guy in front of you?
- At what point do you think you have reached their limit in terms of tolerance and/or acceptance?

I know that lesbian images are somewhat more accepted due to the exoticization, eroticization, and commodification of women. Where have you seen a guy-guy kiss that you did not feel uncomfortable with, if any?
that's because some people are so insecure about themselves that they have to punish others. keep the avatar, i for one support what it stands for.

[moJo]

Essential questions:
- How comfortable are you when you are with other GLBT folks? (Question for everyone, so don't assume this is for straight folks only)
- It is okay to be around a gay person, but not okay for them to kiss another guy in front of you?
- At what point do you think you have reached their limit in terms of tolerance and/or acceptance??
- pretty comfortable. two of my good buds are gay/bi. i don't think of them as any different than my other friends. i hang out in the Castro a lot, and it's all good with me. hmm, i haven't been to a gay party or bar yet, so maybe i'm not fully qualified to answer this question...
- i don't care who kisses in front of me. but if anyones is heavily making out or groping each other in public, i'll get uncomfortable, straight or gay.
-what do you mean? me reaching their limit? or do you mean me reaching my limit?

[John0101]

I use to smoke weed with and chill with a gay crew back my freshman year. We got a long fine I think, to be honest one time I was chillin with one of them and we were playing Capcom Vs Street Fighter and I purposally said "thats so gay" about one of the characters to see how he would react. He pretty much ignored it.

[John0101]

When I think about it, I never gotten to know any Lesbain or Transsexual people before. I think it's kinda of scary to meet a transgender person like a chick with a dick? But I guess transgender could be just a tomboy or what not.

[rice cracker]

All my good friends are gay. My bestest friend is bi. I've never had a problem with gays before, maybe because one of my first jobs had me working side by side with a drag queen and the sluttiest most outspoken gay man (whom I saw a couple years later on Jerry Springer :O). I give to the Human Rights Campaign, I go to Gay Pride, drink coffee in gay coffee shops, basically wherever my friends go. I've been to gay bars enough were pretty much no physical between two men or two women surprises or shocks me and I've watched gay porn. I'm like a freaking gay mascot, only straight.

[shy]

Well I guess I wanted to start this thread after a resurgence of homophobic comments (perhaps facilitated by my new avatar) on limits and boundaries when it come to exposure to GLBT folks.

...

I know that lesbian images are somewhat more accepted due to the exoticization, eroticization, and commodification of women. Where have you seen a guy-guy kiss that you did not feel uncomfortable with, if any?

interesting thing about this topic and your avatar. look at mine. and you're right. when i first came on-board, i got a warm reaction to this avatar...

[shy]

Essential questions:
- How comfortable are you when you are with other GLBT folks? (Question for everyone, so don't assume this is for straight folks only)
- It is okay to be around a gay person, but not okay for them to kiss another guy in front of you?
- At what point do you think you have reached their limit in terms of tolerance and/or acceptance?

i've never had any problems hanging out with gays, lesbians or bisexuals. as for transexuals, i don't think i would have a problem either but i do not know of any (that i am aware of).

i don't mind kissing.

my limit is when it looks like two people need to get their own room... but this holds true for any two people including straight couples. if we're at at a club and people start making out... fine. or at a swinger's party (only once did i go to one - interesting night).

but if we're all out together, as friends, i think there is a level of politeness and respect to one another. it's more a question of public display of affection over homophobia though... because my best friend could be making out with her husband right in front of me and i KNOW i wouldn't like that!

[teaz0r]

i <3 tranvestites.
they're way more
fun than real girls.

one of my super close
friends already got her
boobs done and everything
just waiting for a sex change
op :D

i'm so super excited! plus she's
a total babe.

these girls are transvestites, and
they look better than some real
girls <3

http://pressurize.net/images/yw/misstiff.jpg

[kitty]

Well kittygirl is so right about the need for more inclusiveness between the straight & GLBT communities. I think the same experience that you felt is experienced by gay or lesbian couples who go to straight bars.

I agree, which is why I understand that it's a choice between me feeling a little uncomfortable and my friends feeling like their lives are threatened if they go to a straight club with me. I would prefer to be the one who is a little more uncomfortable given those choices.

[Fireblade]

I really don't care. It's when some people do it outright, then it pisses me off. Like I don't need to see ANY couple just kinda point me out and then go into an all-out macking session, be it Boy-Girl, Boy-Boy, Girl-Girl. I've lived in SF enough to see those kinds of making out sessions in high school and on the streets. I really wouldn't care if I just happened to walk by and see it. The difference is if they look you in the eye and then walk past you on purpose to make out, then it's disgusting.

Btw etcj, keep the avatar. If they don't like it, phooey for them.

[Emperor_Mike]

I usually don't pay enough attention to notice anyway and when I do, it doesn't matter. People are people regardless of sexual preference, religion, etc, etc.

Yes, and keep the avatar. You have the full prerogative to express yourself in any manner you wish. Don't let the narrowminded people of the world deprive you of your rights.

[TTChino]

Shrug, I didn't even give the avatar a second thought. Well I think I did try to remember what your old avatar was. I can't remember tho. Really only cuz your avatar came up in that thread.

[ChinaLama]

your old avatar was more badass. I was in fear of my life for etcj w. that tilted baseball cap.

[537]

Keep the avatar.

If anybody gives you shit about it, just ignore them through your User CP. You have to admit that it's pretty hypocritical of someone to indulge in Shy's avatar of two females kissing, yet shun your avatar...

Fuck the haters!

[BeTheReds]

Well I guess I wanted to start this thread after a resurgence of homophobic comments (perhaps facilitated by my new avatar) on limits and boundaries when it come to exposure to GLBT folks.

Essential questions:
- How comfortable are you when you are with other GLBT folks? (Question for everyone, so don't assume this is for straight folks only)


Don't know really. Usually when that happens I am the only straight person there. In which case I have only felt uncomfortable because people I don't know in the group, or people who know that the group is gay, assume I am too. This has lead to many misunderstandings, usually when I have to tell a guy who is interested in me that I am not gay. Having to do that is uncomfortable.


- It is okay to be around a gay person, but not okay for them to kiss another guy in front of you?

I think it's rude to go all out and french kiss in front of anyone you are hanging out with, whether you are gay or not. I don't think I would have much problem with just a closed mouth kiss though.


- At what point do you think you have reached their limit in terms of tolerance and/or acceptance?


When his boyfriend assumes that I am out to steal my friend away from him despite my repeated insistance that I am straight.


I know that lesbian images are somewhat more accepted due to the exoticization, eroticization, and commodification of women. Where have you seen a guy-guy kiss that you did not feel uncomfortable with, if any?

I feel uncomfortable seeing 2 women kiss. I'll admit that it isn't on the same level of seeing 2 guys kiss though.

I have not seen 2 men kissing who I did not know except for in movies.

[lethal]

When I first saw your avatar, Eric, I admit, I paused a second. Its not a big deal, really, I'd just never seen seen someone I actually interact with out in the open. I have gay friends, mostly through work, but I'd never seen them with their partners before. I have seen men and women holding hands on the street, kissing, whatever, just not in pictures on a MB I frequent.

Friends at work...I ask them anything. Mostly it probably just shows my ignorance. I really don't know if the questions offended them. I hope not. I asked my friend if he and his partner switch..err...giving and receiving in the same session. He replied "of course!" Thinking back, that was a silly thing to ask maybe.

You know what? After that brief second, I didn't give it another thought. You are who you are and you're free to express it however you want. Your avatar is a symbol of you. I put up a picture of Jet Li...maybe its because that's who I'd want to be? I'm not sure, but its a fun little thing.

I don't see much PDA, but sometimes there'll be a guy and a girl against a wall somewhere while I'm walking along or something. Sometimes I want to take a second glance. Maybe I'm a voyeur. This is New York City in the winter though...people are bundled up.

San Francisco, Castro on Halloween or during the Folsom Street Fair...you know, I saw a lot, but not much of it bothered me. Seeing a guy give another guy a blowjobs on the street...that was a bit irksome. However, seeing a girl give a blowjob on the street would be equally as bothersome probably.

I'm pretty sure the only time I've ever knowingly gone to a gay club was in Miami. It wasn't any big deal...me and my friends danced...probably with lesbians, but who really cares?

People are people...we might've grown up with the image of straight people and maybe homosexuality was wrong, but you learn that really, its not. People are just people. Your avatar doesn't bother me, gays and lesbians don't bother me...but that's just me. I'm glad to meet you, Eric. And Craig (cmar). And Chris. And any other GLBT members YW may have.

[deez nuts]

barring any issues of it being wrong or right, you didn't expect not to get heat and be put on blast for using that avatar by some yw members, did you?

[kasia]

i just don't like pda, period. *shrug*

but if you're getting ridiculed because the avatar shows *gay* males kissing - let me know. hate isn't tolerated.

[dragonlord]

My co-worker is a gay warlock. No joke! What are the chances, eh? We get along just fine. I'm pretty confident of my masculinity, so it don't bother me none.

[kasia]

Keep the avatar.

If anybody gives you shit about it, just ignore them through your User CP. You have to admit that it's pretty hypocritical of someone to indulge in Shy's avatar of two females kissing, yet shun your avatar...

Fuck the haters!


i always thought that shy's avatar was her kissing herself in the mirror. :)

[skatergrl]

I love gay people, but why is it that, even though they know I'm straight, it's only a matter of time before they will try to "convert" me by coming on to me? That makes me uncomfortable and ruins the friendship in its incipient stage. So sad... And the excuses are pathetic. Girls have actually told me "everybody knows women make better lovers" and "it takes a woman to know how to really make love to a woman". And while those gross generalizations may very well be true, I simply am not interested in finding out.

you just said that you love gay people, yet you say that it is a "GROSS generalization". it's one thing to say you are not interested, but it's another to say that it is gross. that is not tolerance, acceptance, or even anything close to LOVING a gay person. and the excuses are not pathetic. they are true to the bone.

[missmeow]

[nevermind]

[Faithless]

How comfortable are you when you are with other GLBT folks? (Question for everyone, so don't assume this is for straight folks only) ...
Do we just limit this to being comfortable around GLBT sexuality or other things?

I'm going to take a GLBT at face value like I do everyone else.

I'm going to see if a GLBT person matches my personal values or not (no, not the family values nonsense!). Whether bullshit comes out of his/her mouth or common sense. How well they treat others.

I have met some GLBT folk who I swear were biggoted against blacks. (It's what came out of their mouth.) I have met some GLBT folk that appeared to be too status conscious. I have met some GLBT folk that are surly as hell.

[Chris]

Do we just limit this to being comfortable around GLBT sexuality or other things?

I'm going to take a GLBT at face value like I do everyone else.

I'm going to see if a GLBT person matches my personal values or not (no, not the family values nonsense!). Whether bullshit comes out of his/her mouth or common sense. How well they treat others.

I have met some GLBT folk who I swear were biggoted against blacks. (It's what came out of their mouth.) I have met some GLBT folk that appeared to be too status conscious. I have met some GLBT folk that are surly as hell.


Of course there are gay people across the spectrum. You have the conservative GBLT members, the racist GBLT members, the Flamboyant GBLT, the butch GBLT and some of us the normal ones. LOL. It all really depends. :)

[Faithless]

Of course there are gay people across the spectrum. You have the conservative GBLT members, the racist GBLT members, the Flamboyant GBLT, the butch GBLT and some of us the normal ones. LOL. It all really depends. :)
Thanks. But I wonder if people realize that.

I think that there can be a sappy liberal tendancy to have GLBT, blacks, Asians fit into a particular expectation (prejudice) that really comes from relating to individuals from these groups in a superficial way.

[Chris]

Thanks. But I wonder if people realize that.

I think that there can be a sappy liberal tendancy to have GLBT, blacks, Asians fit into a particular expectation (prejudice) that really comes from relating to individuals from these groups in a superficial way.


Unforunately, media and cultural sterotypes tend to come into play of what the GBLT communtity "should" be like. Shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is dispelling some of the myths about gay men but yet reenforce the sterotypes as well.

[>:^|]

Unforunately, media and cultural sterotypes tend to come into play of what the GBLT communtity "should" be like. Shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is dispelling some of the myths about gay men but yet reenforce the sterotypes as well.

It's also kind of a "loveable mascot" kind of thing. I felt this way about roles Asians played in television for a long time, and now it's fairly common for some sitcom show to have a gay secondary character.

*sigh* I just wonder how long we have to suffer through the inaccurate presentations. Until we are strong enough in the media, I suppose.

[etcj]

Shows, such as Queer as Folk, reinforce stereotypes to the point where most people think it's okay to have prejudicial or pre-conceived notions about people from different background. Remember the episode with the non-English speaking Japanese golddigger from the first season of QAF?? Come on...what an awful stereotype, but no one really made a lot of noise from the GLBT community about that racial stereotype.

That extends to Anna Nicole Smith's reality show with the infamous Bobby Trendy. People love to see that whacked out psychopath, because he reinforces that comical appearance of the effeminate, money-grubbing fashionista stereotype. Essentially, no one think it's wrong to portray all Asians and Pacific Islanders like that, because they see it as not being harmful or offensive in their minds. Sighh..

[Faithless]

Anyway, getting back to this:
Well I guess I wanted to start this thread after a resurgence of homophobic comments (perhaps facilitated by my new avatar) on limits and boundaries when it come to exposure to GLBT folks.
Are you saying you were the brunt of comments, here, because of your new avatar?

[Chris]

Anyway, getting back to this:

Are you saying you were the brunt of comments, here, because of your new avatar?

I think we as GBLT members of YW want to see how member want to precieve us and dispel some of the prejudice that exist within some of the member. The best way of clearing up misconceptions is through the source, the fear and lack of knowledge. I think etjc avatar and even shy shows how society precieve us. It okay for two girls kissing but not two guys. Masculine vs. Feminine.

[Faithless]

I think we as GBLT members of YW want to see how member want to precieve us and dispel some of the prejudice that exist within some of the member. The best way of clearing up misconceptions is through the source, the fear and lack of knowledge. I think etjc avatar and even shy shows how society precieve us. It okay for two girls kissing but not two guys. Masculine vs. Feminine.
OK.

I thought etjc's avatar was artistic. Bring it back. :wink:

I happen to like it when GLBT folk are "in your face" with their "openess". I like to see the conservative cringe!

[etcj]

OK.

I thought etjc's avatar was artistic. Bring it back. :wink:

I happen to like it when GLBT folk are "in your face" with their "openess". I like to see the conservative cringe!
Gwahaha..ok, but here's a new one. Chris has seen them all already, hehe..

[Faithless]

Gwahaha..ok, but here's a new one. Chris has seen them all already, hehe..
Next step: tee-shirt shop and ironing that avatar on! :wink:

[Chris]

Gwahaha..ok, but here's a new one. Chris has seen them all already, hehe..
\

Not ALL of them puahahhaha

[AngryABCGirl]

Not about the avatar, but a few nights ago I was at a cafe, one of the two only Chinese of hell Asian cafes in a cowtown, and these two Asian guys where totally all over each other and affectionate, not to the point where they were dry humping on the couch or anything, but enough that everyone would notice. I give them mad props for being brave enough to go to a place like that and be who they are.