Which is (or would be) more difficult?

[noname]

Might seem like a no-brainer to most of you, and perhaps it is, but I'm thinking....
Geez... when to have it, where to have it, how much to spend, who to have as the best man / maid of honor (maybe I need to have more or better friends or something), who to have as the groomsmen / bridesmaids, who to invite, who not to invite, what kind of program to put on, remembering who gave what gift, sending out the thank-you cards, stories about how the bride & groom met ("one day on yellowworld.org..." :) ), telling the officiant about how bad you've been, and on and on...
It's a special day, so it's all gotta go right...

Sometimes I'm thinking that if I ever get lucky enough to find the right woman to be the wife, I wouldn't mind just getting it over with and just getting married. Drive thru wedding in Las Vegas, anyone? But I'm sure the missus-to-be and the family and others wouldn't like that.

Is perhaps "stressful" or "intense" a better word to use for this poll question, instead of "difficult"?



<!--EDIT|noname|Aug 11 2002, 11:11 PM-->

[Arex]

I would think/hope that the wedding would be the more "stressful" or "difficult" of the two. The marriage is, ideally, a lifelong thing. I don't think a healthy one should necessarily be either stressful or difficult. The wedding, on the other hand, is in essence a big show for family and friends. A little bit of stress there is inevitable.

Alex

[deez nuts]

I would definitely say marriage. Just the whole prospect of waking up next to the same person possibly for the rest of your life is daunting. Along, with dealing with each other's idiosynchrasies, habits, finance etc etc. I don't know the whole idea of marriage is scary to me.

[princess]

i think the wedding should be the more difficult of the two. the wedding is the actual joining lives of the two people and thus requires tons of consideration before the official steps are taken. the marriage, however, isnt any longer about whether or not the person is right for you. it should be about enjoying this life with someone you love and cherish.

[kimpossible]

Marriage.

Definitely marriage. For the reasons bun boy stated.

[thaite]

Vegas, baby! Vegas!

[princess]

Originally posted by buoywonder@Aug 12 2002, 08:55 PM
Vegas, baby! Vegas!
my aunt actually arranged to have her marriage in vegas. she got married in one of this little chapels that couples go on the spur of the moment. it was kinda weird to see other people waiting in line to use the chapel after her ceremony was over. one couple was wearing matching cowboy hats, tie dyed tshirts, and purple sweatpants. it was a surprise to me cuz yknow...im so used to envisioning the bride in a white dress and the groom in a tux.

[thaite]

I was best man for my best friend at one of those little chapels. Long before that, I thought the idea of a Vegas wedding was silly, but now I'm all for it. What better place to party afterwards? Hell yeah!

And the couple with matching cowboy hats, tie dyed tshirts, and purple sweatpants, now that's downright tacky. Even in Vegas you still gotta keep some semblance of decorum.



<!--EDIT|buoywonder|Aug 13 2002, 03:08 AM-->

[Barbs]

weddings are sooooooooooo expensive. it's also an especially difficult decision for those of us who are bi-cultural (ie. american style wedding v. asian wedding). just thinking about the logistics gives me a headache. for me because my parents live overseas, location is also gonna be problem. then again, who am i kidding? i'm not about to get married any time soon (if at all).

[Ch8Li179]

Of coarse the before, during, and after the wedding is going to be stressful. But to have a successful marriage you have to work at it all day and everyday for the rest of both your lives. Now that is a lot of effort, patience, and time. And don't get me started on the understanding and forgiving. It really is hard! But once you are through with the wedding and you and spouse are stable in your marriage I think both would be beautiful and magical. :rolleyes:

[Arex]

Originally posted by Ch8Li179@Aug 14 2002, 12:23 AM
Of coarse the before, during, and after the wedding is going to be stressful. But to have a successful marriage you have to work at it all day and everyday for the rest of both your lives. Now that is a lot of effort, patience, and time. And don't get me started on the understanding and forgiving. It really is hard! But once you are through with the wedding and you and spouse are stable in your marriage I think both would be beautiful and magical. :rolleyes:
Yes, both parties have to work to make a marriage successful ...but in the end, should the ideal marriage really be all that stressful or difficult?

Alex

[kimpossible]

No such thing as an ideal marriage. Plus, even when the relationship is solid, life itself is challenging. When you form a family unit the responsibilities pile on quickly and the number of people depending on you increases. People get older, people change and you can never know how it's going to go. You don't just marry a person, you marry their family too.

It's tough at times. Our marriage is pretty young but we've already been through losing a good quarter mil in investments, my sister's drug addiction (she's recovering *knocks on wood*), the recent death of my stepfather and now my mother in-law losing her battle with breast cancer.

It's magnificent at other times. We share the same interests, we have a deep emotional bond and there is just something about being together that makes the nasty bits of life just a little bit easier to handle. You can't predict, you just deal when something tough comes up and if you make it through it together you can look back and say "Yeah, we did it."