being out at work

[kimpossible]

Is anyone out at work or school? Have you ever been in a situation where the prejudice was unspoken but felt? If so, how do you deal with the not so obvious anti-gay sentiment?

[kboy75]

i'm not gay, but i've never lived or worked anywhere where there was much anti-gay sentient.

in fact when i was in the bay area, the majority of my co-workers at one company were gay and lesbian. i think they made it a point to be preemptive about anti-gay sentiment because they always made it a point to let others know they were gay and openly talked about gay issues, as well as inviting everyone to gay&lesbian events. it created an atmosphere where it would be really inapproriate to be anti gay. i know that a lot of them recruited their gay/lesbian friends to work there, to create a good community at work, understandably.

but they would tell me stories about other places where they were openly bashed, and why they chose to move away and to SF.

=/

[frcegrl]

i am out at work and even if i didn't "out" myself, it woudln't take a genius to realize i was gay, given my appearance and the hrc/rainbow stickers i have on my car. but my immediate co-worker is also gay and the rest of our coworkers have gay friends or family so we don't see much anti-gay anything. if anything, we poke fun at all the straight ppl here and openly discuss our daily happenings. :laugh:
my last job was tighter tho. but it wasn't overt discrimination so i never really had to deal with much of it. for the few times things were said, they were more out of ignorance so i try my best to "educate" them and give them my view.

i guess i've been lucky...

[Chris]

I'm out at work. It especially easy when one fo the partner, 1 associate and 5 staff member are also out at work. People are very cool with it. No problem in my end. Maybe because I live in San Francisco as well it helps.

[SunWuKong]

the last two companies i worked with, both were small companies and each had a person that was "out at work".

the first company had a gay woman and this was in Orlando. i didn't notice any discrimination or anti-gay comments, but one of the male colleagues would always joke with her about having the same taste in women. she didn't seem to care and just went along with it, but i always wondered if she was just trying to be agreeable.

the other company was in HK. the staff was half international and half local. there was a white male American colleague who was gay and dating a local HKer. he was sort of semi-out at work. there was no way that you can tell from his appearance or behaviour that he was gay, yet he openly talked about his partner Shawn. the point being that he used the word "partner". me being from the US, after a few times of him saying that, i put two and two together and figured it out. it wasn't so easy for the others to figure out though, especially the locals, because they didn't know that some gay people called their significant others "partners", and also because he wasn't exactly advertising it to everybody either. in other words, he didn't hide it, but he didn't yell it out either. i think more and more people found out eventually, but i think there were still people who didn't know by the time he and i left the company (which was about the same time). anyway, i think if not for the fact that everybody at this company were college-educated, i would have seen some anti-gay comments or discrimination. openly-gay people aren't as common in HK as they are in the US.

[teaz0r]

my really good friend from my old job
was out at work. there was no problem
at work at all, i think because like every
other male in the office was gay too.
though my friend did have a problem at
his previous job, he worked as an account
executive at an advertising agency, and
the account director was a super asshole,
wouldn't let my friend go meet clients and
stuff because he dresses like a girl. it wasn't
tasteless though, they way he dressed. like
he didn't wear dresses or skirts or anything,
but like really nice crisp dior pantsuits. he
had nicer clothes than me man.

[shy]

i honestly would never feel comfortable talking about my sexual orientation at work. then again, i don't feel comfortable talking much about my personal life at work except to a select few.

i don't know... it's just the way i am.

[etcj]

Well my personal philosophy has been that if you keep nothing a secret, then people won't be surprised by whatever you say or do. Although I would rarely recommend anyone else to follow this mantra, I don't go into any environment (school or work) with the image that I am straight. However, it doesn't mean that I'll be channeling the Fab Five to annoy my heterosexual colleagues.

I guess if I did have to pretend to be something else, I guess I'd be omnisexual, so never really downplay anything sexual, be it straight or gay.

[shy]

Well my personal philosophy has been that if you keep nothing a secret, then people won't be surprised by whatever you say or do.

that's a good philosophy... one that i wish i could follow all the time but it is difficult when you hear homophobic talk in the environment around you. i know that these people can't really do anything to me because of my rights, but man... i'd be lying that it makes me uncomfortable to open up to them.

[etcj]

Yeah, I totally agree with you there, shy. I always remind people to pick your battles, but always consider your own safety first. Pride shouldn't come with a black eye, nor does it make an attractive medal of honor. Of course, leading a double life can sometimes be as draining as numerous episodes of Queer as Folk has taught us.

I think we also should revert to our old days of politics. We used to show that we're queer or queer-friendly by putting on an AIDS ribbon. Of course, we now see that it's not too cool to do that anymore, since we have done so much to remove stigma from GLBT identities. However, I think we should renew that practice again as we are more complacent about injustices and discrimination committed against GLBT folks and people living with HIV/AIDS. According to a new CDC report, the largest segment of the population being infected with HIV/AIDS are men who have sex with men.

Try an AIDS ribbon and see what happens. I did that a few weeks ago and I got a pretty bigoted response from a young gay male. As odd as it may sound, straight people were a lot more understandable.

[Emperor_Mike]

You know, I really admire gay men and women who feel good enough about themselves to be out at work. I also applaud open-minded persons who see people for who they are regardless of trivialities such as skin colour, sexual preference, or religious beliefs. God knows the world needs more tolerant individuals.

[skatergrl]

There are five people at my work, including me, who are out and open about it. It's no big thing here in San Francisco. :biggrin:

[Martino]

In a 19 year 'career' (I use the term loosely) I have been closet-out-closet-out. Currently out. I had a rough time from senior management over it in the late Eighties, but I'm much better equipped (and more articulate, and louder) to deal with it now, whereas back then I was quite ... um ... delicate.

Most women I've worked with, both above and below me, somehow just 'know' anyway. Even my parents say they knew before I did. Ho hum.

[Chris]

There are five people at my work, including me, who are out and open about it. It's no big thing here in San Francisco. :biggrin:


skatergrl where are you in SF. Im in SF. :D What do you do?

[skatergrl]

skatergrl where are you in SF. Im in SF. :D What do you do?

i work on mission street. but i live in pleasant hill, over in the east bay. do you live in san francisco? i go to the cafe quite a bit. where do you go?

[Chris]

hehhee I live in SF. North Beach to be exact. Don't really go to cafe that much. But once pride comes around. My lesbian buddy and her gf in MN will be coming and I promised to go to the Dyke march with her this year and hang out at the cafe. :D

[skatergrl]

hehhee I live in SF. North Beach to be exact. Don't really go to cafe that much. But once pride comes around. My lesbian buddy and her gf in MN will be coming and I promised to go to the Dyke march with her this year and hang out at the cafe. :D

that's cool. hey send me a private message so i can give you my contact info. :biggrin: