View Full Version : What do women REALLY want?
So often I hear women yakking on and on about how "all" they want is a "nice guy." Tell me, WTF do women really mean by this?! Is this some sort of code for something else? Perhaps "nice" is woman-speak for "hot?"
I don't know how many times female friends of mine have confided in me that they just want to meet a "nice guy" but they, for the life of 'em, can't seem to find any. Do women relegate the nicest guys they know to permanent "friend" status so they have someone to bitch to whenever they're hurt by the assholes that they're invariably attracted to?
Obviously, women want more in a guy than him just being nice. What other qualities do women look for? Is there such thing as being too nice? Does a bit of "punkass" added to the mix make the guy a more attractive catch?
Alex
angelaine
06-12-2002, 09:53 PM
I'd suggest this as a reading.. http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=angelaine&itemid=108273
it [b:0589de8e7d]IS NOT[/b:0589de8e7d] written by me.. it was written by http://www.livejournal.com/users/linh who's journal was going into somewhat "friends only" mode so I copied it to read every now and then..
I think the points are pretty well thought out.. I don't know about all the other girls.. but when I think about these points, they do seem to apply.
achtungbaby
06-12-2002, 10:04 PM
Hellllllll yes nice guys finish last!:)
[quote:6850feb979="angelaine"]I think the points are pretty well thought out.. I don't know about all the other girls.. but when I think about these points, they do seem to apply.[/quote:6850feb979]
I always suspected this much, and her points do make a lot of sense. So basically, there is such a thing as being too nice. Very well then... :twisted:
Alex
angelaine
06-13-2002, 12:02 PM
[quote:850a3fdf28="Arex"] So basically, there is such a thing as being too nice. Very well then... :twisted:[/quote:850a3fdf28]
are you gonna follow the advice and be a bad-ass turn nice guy? :P
[quote:c16cf1d40d="angelaine"]
are you gonna follow the advice and be a bad-ass turn nice guy? :P[/quote:c16cf1d40d]
No no no...I can't be something I'm not and I'm not going to pretend to be either. What I imagine happening is that I'll probably just learn to despise women because I get no play, become a prick because of it, and then I'll suddenly have 'em swarming. :wink:
Alex
achtungbaby
06-13-2002, 04:33 PM
[quote:29c1cd96a7="Arex"]What I imagine happening is that I'll probably just learn to despise women because I get no play, become a prick because of it, and then I'll suddenly have 'em swarming. :wink: [/quote:29c1cd96a7]
Isn't that how it's supposed to work...?:P
angelaine
06-13-2002, 08:41 PM
[quote:637993874c="Arex"]No no no...I can't be something I'm not and I'm not going to pretend to be either. What I imagine happening is that I'll probably just learn to despise women because I get no play, become a prick because of it, and then I'll suddenly have 'em swarming. :wink: [/quote:637993874c]
hmm.. good plan! make sure to share your results! :D
[quote:c6b848bbc1="angelaine"]
hmm.. good plan! make sure to share your results! :D[/quote:c6b848bbc1]
So far, no changes... :? Unfortunately I think I'm too patient to become a dick over my present situation. Hopefully cynical is good enough. :)
Note that I'm writing this at 1 o'clock, Saturday night. Ugh... Pathetic.
That's what I miss about being in a relationship: even a quiet Saturday night spent at home can be considered "quality time" as long as it's with a loved one. *sigh*
Alex
achtungbaby
06-16-2002, 03:57 PM
[quote:98ef1ccc6d="Arex"]Note that I'm writing this at 1 o'clock, Saturday night. Ugh... Pathetic.[/quote:98ef1ccc6d]
There's nothing pathetic about that!
...is there...? 8O
Saiko
06-16-2002, 03:59 PM
Fiirrssst. I always fall for a nice/sweet guy. Same with most of my friends.
IKPakI
06-16-2002, 05:31 PM
Hey Saiko, im a nice guy. Fall for me then..lol
mrazntre
06-16-2002, 11:47 PM
ikpaki: you're such a man-whore! =P
angelaine
06-16-2002, 11:48 PM
[quote:9cc984b455="achtungbaby"]...is there...? 8O[/quote:9cc984b455]
hmm.. depends.. are you a loser if you don't go out on Friday and Saturdays? 8O
Yes.. relationships change how EVERYTHING looks.
kboy75
06-19-2002, 01:52 AM
Most "Nice Guys" who complain about not getting any are really NOT nice guys. They play the nice guy part, but at root, they are insecure, egotystical boys who think they are God's gift to women.
Sorry for the generalization...
[quote:47465d3026="kboy75"]Most "Nice Guys" who complain about not getting any are really NOT nice guys. They play the nice guy part, but at root, they are insecure, egotystical boys who think they are God's gift to women.
Sorry for the generalization...[/quote:47465d3026]
Ouch! That is a rather broad generalization. I think the people you're talking about are the PLAYERS who play the "nice guy who can't find love" angle. I've known quite a few of those and definitely don't dump them in the category of genuinely "nice guys."
Alex
achtungbaby
06-19-2002, 10:25 AM
[quote:32439a96d2="kboy75"]Most "Nice Guys" who complain about not getting any are really NOT nice guys. They play the nice guy part, but at root, they are insecure, egotystical boys who think they are God's gift to women.[/quote:32439a96d2]
I'm not egotistical!
kboy75
06-19-2002, 03:04 PM
^ Sorry for the generalization. But truly nice guys would not really complain about not getting the girl. They will simply go about their day and dod what they do and are passionate about, and they will meet a nice girl just from doing that. OK, this is all theoretical, and maybe I am talking outta my ass... Haha.
There are nice guys out there. But I'm just saying that the "nice guys who complain" are not truly "nice guys". OK, confused, yet? ;)
[quote:b7c96b0a76="kboy75"]^ Sorry for the generalization. But truly nice guys would not really complain about not getting the girl. They will simply go about their day and dod what they do and are passionate about, and they will meet a nice girl just from doing that. OK, this is all theoretical, and maybe I am talking outta my ass... Haha.
There are nice guys out there. But I'm just saying that the "nice guys who complain" are not truly "nice guys". OK, confused, yet? ;)[/quote:b7c96b0a76]
The problem with that generalization is that it assumes that truly nice guys are just fine being single. I fail to see how one's ability to be "happily single" has any bearing on how nice or good that person is. To some, loving relationships are more crucial to one's ultimate happiness than others.
Take my dad, for example: I'd say he's probably one of the nicest, most "altruistic" people I know. But when my mom divorced him, he went through this funk until he remarried a few years later. His whole deal was that he didn't feel like he was meeting his potential and doing everything that he was put on this earth to do without having someone there to take care of and provide for. I don't think of him as any less "nice" for preferring to be in a loving relationship.
Alex
kasia
06-23-2002, 03:01 PM
[quote:264cced83d="kboy75"]Most "Nice Guys" who complain about not getting any are really NOT nice guys. They play the nice guy part, but at root, they are insecure, egotystical boys who think they are God's gift to women.
Sorry for the generalization...[/quote:264cced83d]
hahaha. okay, i kinda have to agree. and i will be sounding like a bitch in doing so. but nice guys [i:264cced83d]are[/i:264cced83d] sometimes just insecure guys who whine way too much and are too absorbed in their own misery to truly care about other people--like girls they happen to be interested in.
and girls can pick up on that stuff really quickly.
kasia
06-23-2002, 03:02 PM
[quote:7710cf1499="achtungbaby"][quote:7710cf1499="kboy75"]Most "Nice Guys" who complain about not getting any are really NOT nice guys. They play the nice guy part, but at root, they are insecure, egotystical boys who think they are God's gift to women.[/quote:7710cf1499]
I'm not egotistical![/quote:7710cf1499]
you're not a nice guy. no offense. it's actually a good thing.
[quote:c8b4fa52ba="kasia"]hahaha. okay, i kinda have to agree. and i will be sounding like a bitch in doing so. but nice guys are[/i:c8b4fa52ba] sometimes just insecure guys who whine way too much and are too absorbed in their own misery to truly care about other people--like girls they happen to be interested in.
and girls can pick up on that stuff really quickly.[/quote:c8b4fa52ba]
But if someone truly doesn't really care about other people, how can you classify that person as "nice?" The way I see it, everyone bitches and moans [i]sometimes--even nice people. And yes, I think a lot of the nicer people I know are kinda insecure (guys and girls alike)...but who wouldn't be when they're constantly being jacked, their acts of kindness go unappreciated or they're otherwise without any kind of affirmation for being the good people they are? (and no, I'm not talking about myself here). Recall, that girls don't want a purely nice guy--they're boring.
Alex
kasia
06-24-2002, 08:29 PM
i hear you.
ChinaLama
06-26-2002, 10:45 PM
what if you're nice BECAUSE you're insecure. like you're overly polite, overly solicitious, BUT at the same time you have a potty mouth. Is a person automatically not "nice" if he has a brusque attitude but he's like helpful and stuff?
mrazntre
06-26-2002, 11:33 PM
what if you're nice because you have been subconsciously brainwashed all your life to be what is called the model minority?
achtungbaby
06-27-2002, 12:15 AM
What if you're nice because you don't like girls?
princess
06-27-2002, 01:18 AM
lol so many "what ifs"
*raises hand* teacher, teacher! :D
kasia
06-27-2002, 09:40 AM
doesn't anybody think 'how if' sounds better?
[quote:2c93b12069="kasia"]doesn't anybody think 'how if' sounds better?[/quote:2c93b12069]
That doesn't sound good at all.=)
Alex
kasia
06-27-2002, 10:42 AM
[quote:da9ae301d8="Arex"][quote:da9ae301d8="kasia"]doesn't anybody think 'how if' sounds better?[/quote:da9ae301d8]
That doesn't sound good at all.=)
Alex[/quote:da9ae301d8]
how if i say it does?
princess
06-27-2002, 12:37 PM
*inserts the word "about" between "how" and "if"* that sounds better to me :D
[quote:3dc6925525="princess"]*inserts the word "about" between "how" and "if"* that sounds better to me :D[/quote:3dc6925525]
Agreed.
Alex
LilCPChik
07-02-2002, 07:09 PM
i like dem nice swt guyz... i dont like the guyz dat r mean i dont take shit from guyz like dat... dats a no no
deez nuts
07-03-2002, 10:46 AM
Just be real to yourself and your girl. Try not to put up fronts and you should be ok. Of course if that fails, a little bling bling won't hurt you either j/k!
kasia
07-03-2002, 11:00 AM
[quote:cc02652499="Arex"][quote:cc02652499="princess"]*inserts the word "about" between "how" and "if"* that sounds better to me :D[/quote:cc02652499]
Agreed.
Alex[/quote:cc02652499]
no way. that's too long.
princess
07-03-2002, 11:54 PM
haha laaaaaaaazy
PnaiAqui
07-28-2002, 12:51 AM
I was talking to my boyfriend one time when, out of nowhere, he started speaking about my grandma. He started about the warmth he felt when my grandma first hugged him... then, how my grandma treated him as her own grandson. After all that, he asked me to tell my grandma that "he loves her." How many guys could say that? That is my nice guy...
SunWuKong
07-28-2002, 03:35 AM
my two cents...
it's like this, girls want a guy that is tough and confident, HOWEVER, he wants this guy to be nice and sensitive to HER. and that is what is meant by "nice" guys.
it certainly does not mean whiny guys who blame their dating problems on women and say that women are only attracted to assholes. girls don't go for whiny guys or guys who blame their problems on the girls.
if you're complaining about girls not liking nice guys - well stop your whining. girls are not coming around because of it. it's like a self-fulfilling prophesy.
In my experience, girls want a guy that's nicer to her than to anyone else. If you're too nice to everyone, she doesn't feel special. But truly nice people treat everybody the same. Thus a girl with a truly nice guy doesn't like the fact that she's not treated any nicer than everybody else. Anyone want to disagree?? Or am I really a whiner??=/ Please tell me if my logic is fucked up...=P
RX
SunWuKong
07-28-2002, 10:52 AM
[quote:8d12abdfb1="Arex"]In my experience, girls want a guy that's nicer to her than to anyone else. If you're too nice to everyone, she doesn't feel special. But truly nice people treat everybody the same. Thus a girl with a truly nice guy doesn't like the fact that she's not treated any nicer than everybody else. Anyone want to disagree?? Or am I really a whiner??=/ Please tell me if my logic is fucked up...=P
RX[/quote:8d12abdfb1]
no, for the most part, i think you're right. however alot of girls [i:8d12abdfb1]do[/i:8d12abdfb1] realize that they're not into a guy who is nice to everybody.
but i hope you understand my point. if anything is going to make girls stay away from a guy, it wouldn't be because he's too nice. it would be because he's complaining about this. it kind of projects a sense of insecurity and lack of self-esteem in the guy.
I'd agree with that--no one wants a whiny little biatch, whether guy or girl.
Alex
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