which was worst - telling mom or telling dad?

[kasia]

i would guess mom. but that's just a hunch.

[cmar]

Telling Dad was more difficult for me, although seeing my Mom cry was a tough one. I knew my Mom would be understanding, but I wasn't sure how my father would react. I am gald I did it as soon as I did. You can not imagine the emotional relief of finally coming out to your parents after trying to hide it.

[skatergrl]

I didn't have to tell dad, cause mom told dad for me. So yeah....telling mom was the difficult one. Although I am grateful that I did, cause I too, felt a huge emotional relief afterwards.

[kimpossible]

How did your siblings react?

[nonamerasian]

I'm not a lesbian, but if I were, the answer without a doubt would be my father. He would be pissed, perhaps even disown me until I'm "cured."

I used to joke with my mother about my sexuality to see what she'd say, but she never had a negative response.

Her theory is that only a man would have a problem with such a thing. A man who is secretly a "buttyman."

While I know there are women who would be upset if their children as homosexual, or even some men without a little secret, I do think there is some truth to what she says.

[Chris]

Telling Mom. Dad was a tad more accepting. But mom didn't have much of an education in the first place. So going scientific on her didn't help.

[kitty]

not as if it's the same thing, but telling my parents that i was living with my boyfriend, and had been for three years... harder to tell my mom. It sucked telling my dad but he's been working in china since i was ten and i didn't really care about what he thought as much.

[myself808]

Actually I told them both at the same time, and their reaction was: well we kind of already suspected that

[hapakristina]

i'm not a lesbian, but as i shared in my introductory thread i have had same-sex experiences.. i never told either one of my parents, despite their openness and understanding of such a thing. i don't see the need to, since it's not really "who i am" but rather something i experienced. given the circumstances, i think it would just be more upsetting to them that it happened without their knowledge (though i'm pretty sure my mother knew) and given i was 15 at the time and she was 21. but i still don't see much of a need to tell them, but i wouldn't have a hard time telling either one either.

[John0101]

i'm not a lesbian, but as i shared in my introductory thread i have had same-sex experiences.. i never told either one of my parents, despite their openness and understanding of such a thing. i don't see the need to, since it's not really "who i am" but rather something i experienced. given the circumstances, i think it would just be more upsetting to them that it happened without their knowledge (though i'm pretty sure my mother knew) and given i was 15 at the time and she was 21. but i still don't see much of a need to tell them, but i wouldn't have a hard time telling either one either.

I don't know the full circumstances, but what happened to you seems ILLEGAL imo. I do not think somebody who is 21 should be dating a 15 year old either or not he or she was gay, a lesbian, straight or whatever.

[hapakristina]

I don't know the full circumstances, but what happened to you seems ILLEGAL imo. I do not think somebody who is 21 should be dating a 15 year old either or not he or she was gay, a lesbian, straight or whatever.

well, it was definitely illegal at the time. and i agree with you about a 21 year old with a 15 year old (irregardless of the gender and sexual orientation).. though at the time i felt i knew very well what i was doing and why i was doing it. while i've been told i'm "wise beyond my years".. this is a situation where i think my age and emotions very much swayed my sense of "good judgment."

[John0101]

well, it was definitely illegal at the time. and i agree with you about a 21 year old with a 15 year old (irregardless of the gender and sexual orientation).. though at the time i felt i knew very well what i was doing and why i was doing it. while i've been told i'm "wise beyond my years".. this is a situation where i think my age and emotions very much swayed my sense of "good judgment."

to classify wether it was right or wrong, I would ask yourself at your present age (your over 20ish?) if you had the opportunity to do it all over again would you?

[hapakristina]

to classify wether it was right or wrong, I would ask yourself at your present age (your over 20ish?) if you had the opportunity to do it all over again would you?

that's a hard question. in some ways, i'd like to say no because as i said in my introductory thread (that explained the story, per your request).. i think there were some long-term reprecussions of my relationship with her. that i still struggle with today. however, i'm one of those people that thinks that things happen for a reason and i honestly wouldn't be who i am today without having gone through that. so i would never condone anyone ever getting involved that way, but if i had to do it over again.. i think i would just do what i did for the sake that i wouldn't have walked away wiser without having gone through that.

[hapakristina]

i think this is a parents worst nightmare.

i agree that many parents would say that.. but my feeling on this is, who cares? that's them and if they were really good parents they'd just want their child to be happy despite whatever hopes and aspirations they wanted for their children. i'm sorry, but sometimes i think parents are a bit too self-centered. yes, you gave birth to your children.. but at what point do children become their own person? if this is the way your child is and this is what makes them happy.. that's all that parents should be concerned about.

[etcj]

i think this is a parents worst nightmare.
You probably thinking I'm picking on you throughout the posts. Obviously you have pretty negative views about gay people in general, so I'm curious to why you've combed through all the threads to intentionally make these threads uninviting to GLBT YW folks. Anyways, I think you're perhaps stating the reaction of many Asian and Pacific Islander parents, but you stopped short of answering why it is a nightmare.

From a culturally standpoint, I'm guessing you think it's a nightmare for parents, because they would essentially not have their children produce grandchildren for them, right?

[tapestrybabe]

i think this is a parents worst nightmare.
or it could be a childs worst nightmare...
having it the OTHER way around...
the parent coming out to their kids...

[frcegrl]

telling mom was bad...which i expected. mom wears the pants in the family and dad is just chillin' on the side. dad only gets involved when it gets really heated between me & mom. never really discussed it with dad and only had fights with mom about it so we try not to talk about it. sucks...

[myself808]

wonderful. its the "unnatural" argument.

[myself808]

Myself knows my parents aren't all peachy with the idea of a gay son, and have some issues. Mom probaly was more affected than dad, (at least I have an older brother who gave my parents grandkids), but I think, or like to think, that they accept it, and accept me.

thus endeth